THE CONTINUING CRISIS
Tyrrell, R. Emmett Jr.
THE CONTINUING CRISIS R. Emmett T y r r e l l , J r . As August ended, the unshaven president of Iran with the unpronounceable name declared that his country will not accede to the United...
...The two lent their names to the landmark Massachusetts lawsuit that legalized same-sex marriage in the Bay State in 2003, and their marriage 10 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR OCTOBER 2006 R. EMMETT TYRRELL, JR...
...Shirley McVane's claims that her pet turtle has an image of the Virgin Mary on its stomach...
...As for young Mr...
...THE CONTINUING CRISIS R. Emmett T y r r e l l , J r . As August ended, the unshaven president of Iran with the unpronounceable name declared that his country will not accede to the United Nations Security Council's entreaties that Iran conclude its nuclear program...
...Iranian womenfolk are also barred from revealing "painted toenails," and those who do so will quite likely have to wear galoshes, at least when in public and at yard sales...
...On August 17, United States District Judge Anna Diggs Taylor declared it a First Amendment right for Americans to conduct telephone conversations with terrorists (see James Taranto's column on page 48) and ordered the Bush administration to suspend surveillance of suspected al Qaeda agents' telephone conversations...
...There he faces child pornography charges and doubtless a mob of New York publishers ardent to sign him on for a tell-all memoir...
...Given the long flowing gown that is the native dress of both sexes in Saudi Arabia, it was not immediately clear how the police discerned the young men's sex, though possibly the chaps had let their veils slip in all the lascivious excitement...
...and in Chicago, Illinois, officials of the Roman Catholic Church are looking into Mrs...
...This guyis not going away...
...troops along the Lebanese border in accordance with U.N...
...Carlson went on to tell the Washington Post that the "It]he only dancing I've done is the kind you have dim memories of the next day," that being another sad allusion to difficulties he has had handling alcoholic beverages after 8:00 P.M...
...The usual cast of attention-seekers-Sen...
...Security Council resolution 1701, especially if many are French...
...But the month witnessed the arrival of a promising new player: Mr...
...Our hearts and prayers go out to the many families who lost loved ones in the plane crash in Kentucky," NBC's statement read, but the skit had cost a lot to produce and airplane accidents always have a funny side...
...Carlson, he announced his impending appearance on ABC's Dancing With the Stars...
...CNN, "The Most Trusted Name in News," may soon expand that boast to "The Most Trusted Name in the Women's Lavatory...
...and he was to be sent on to California...
...Jean-Francois Kerry, Mr...
...Saudi Arabian religious police have broken up another homosexual wedding, this time in the southern town of Jizan, known as the San Francisco of Saudi Arabia...
...How long will it be before the former Boy President is filmed using his walker in public...
...Louis Cardinals baseball game and falling asleep in his seat behind home plate in the 8th inning...
...According to the Saudi newspaper, Al Watan, 20 young men were arrested for "emulating women...
...Karr, himself something of a John Kerry look-alike, was filmed clinking champagne glasses on his business-class return flight to the U.S., en route to Colorado, where his DNA failed to match police specimens from the crime scene...
...No injuries were reported...
...Twenty-four Islamofascists were arrested...
...On the other hand, the Iranian Foreign Ministry announced that it will go ahead this autumn with its Holocaust inquiry, which presumably is a sequel to its present Tehran exhibit of Holocaust cartoons...
...The breakup had been rumored for months but was finally reported in Bay Windows, New England's leading newspaper for homosexuals and window washers...
...As for Senator Kerry, he grabbed headlines with an e - mail to Ohio Democrats claiming nearly two years after the fact that Ohio Republicans made off with the presidential election in 2004 by hoodwinking Democratic voters too stupid to use voting machines that had been in place for years...
...Back in the states, Hillary and Julie Goodridge are splitsky...
...The month saw clean-up crews at work in southern Lebanon and a public apology from Hezbollah's leading holy man, the Rev...
...That is a biographical detail the self-styled conscience of Germany has kept mum about during all these years of hectoring his countrymen about their war records...
...Clinton, who kicked off a multi-month celebration of his 60th birthday by signing autographs at an August 22 New York Mets- St...
...Tucker Carlson, and former president Bill Clinton-was in the news in August...
...In related news, Tehran police took advantage of August's extreme heat to stop 63,963 women for being "badly veiled...
...Hassan Nasrallah, D.D., for provoking war there...
...According to London's Daily Telegraph, even ugly Iranian women possessed of no sexual firepower whatsoever must wear veils and cover their bodies "with long, heavy overcoats" no matter how hairy...
...Perhaps Mr...
...In London, police on August 10 broke up a plot byterrorists to hijack commercial airplanes on transatlantic flights and wreak havoc on an "unimaginable scale...
...Had Herr Grass's Nazis won the war he might now have two Nobel prizes and probably a couple of Pulitzers, especially if he admitted to plagiarism...
...Al Watan's understandably excited reporter went on to write that as many as 250 other men attending "the wedding of two men" were detained, some for chewing kbat, an illegal narcotic popular in nearby Yemen where people chew it to believe that their air conditioning has been repaired...
...So the news is not all bad...
...Finally there is Mr...
...The month also included apologies from producers at NBC who during their tedious EmmyAwards broadcast a comedy skit featuring a mock airplane crash just hours after 49 people were killed in a similar crash in Lexington, Kentucky...
...Carlson went on to tell the Washington Post that the "[t]he only dancing I've done is the kind you have dim memories of the next day...
...In Bombay, India, followers of the Hindu god Krishna took to the streets to solemnize the old loon's birthday in the traditional way, bybreaking a pot of yogurt...
...provoked a media frenzy in 2004 when they became wife and wife...
...At month's end 14 more were rounded up...
...Nasrallah also said he would not oppose the deployment of thousands of U.N...
...Karr will cut a movie deal or even run for the House of Representatives in a blue state somewhere in the Northeast...
...CNN producers have apologized, but bearing in mind the networks declining ratings it is not inconceivable that the toothsome Miss Phillips's broadcasts might soon originate from the loo, an audacious breakthrough in reality television...
...conversation" interrupting the broadcast of President George W. Bush's speech commemorating Hurricane Katrina...
...I'm not defending it [his decision to go terpsichorean] as the smartest choice, but I think it's the most interesting," said the MSNBC late, late, very-late night controversialist, who has been down on his luck since the economically strapped network ceased to broadcast his show in color...
...In Holland, shy American tourists forced a Dutch McDonald's to remove mouth-shaped urinals with disgusting red lips from their comfort stations in favor of the more chaste traditional urinals...
...The Rev...
...We did not think, even 1 percent, that the capture [of two Israeli soldiers] would lead to a war at this time and of this magnitude," he explained on Lebanon's News TV station attired in what appeared to be a shower curtain with the traditional terrycloth towel wrapped around his head...
...On August 29 during the noon show, Live From, anchor Miss Kyra Phillips failed to turn off her microphone while responding to nature's call and broadcast what the network termed "bathroom Mr...
...OCTOBER 2006 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 11...
...Most of the stars are very political...
...And the cultural claims of Nazi Germany got an unexpected boost when German Nobel laureate and anti-American bore Herr G/inter Grass admitted that he served in the Waffen SS at the end of World War II...
...Michael Jackson remains out of the country, and others might reject the pudgy mini-con on ideological grounds...
...Which star will dance with him has yet to be announced...
...John Mark Karr, a fugitive pedophile arrested in Thailand after claiming-mendaciously it turns out-that ten years ago he murdered a Colorado beauty queen, aged six...
Vol. 39 • October 2006 • No. 8
