THE CONTINUING CRISIS
Tyrrell, R. Emmett Jr.
THE ISIS CONTINUING CR R. Emmett T y r r e i l , J r . July has come and gone, and the Israeli Defense Forces spent much of the month rummaging through Lebanon looking for two Israeli soldiers...
...Luiz Ribeiro and his wife Ana Maria Miranda...
...Storks have no voices...
...In New Delhi, India, members of the Medical Council of India's ethics committee are studying the cases of three Indian surgeons who apparently put profits before people...
...Death also claimed Mr...
...The gay storks looked after the eggs and chicks," asserted a triumphant Miss Esther Jansen, spokeswoman for the Zoo, "just as well as our heterosexual birds...
...Of course, since Dr...
...5~:'TEM~g~ 2006 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 15...
...North Korea observed July 4th by testing seven controversial missiles including the obscenely named Taepodong-2, which fizzled 40 seconds into its flight...
...There zookeepers deposited eggs in the nests of four openly homosexual storks, a lesbian couple who have been together for years, and a younger "hipper" couple of gay males--BingoI Success...
...A graduate of Clemson University with a degree in dairy science, Mr...
...In SaudiArabia, clerics continue to weigh the moral dangers of the vibrating cell phone against the quiddities of Sharia law, particularly vibrating phones carried in a Westernized Saudi's trouser pocket...
...Ribeiro appeared on the cable-access television show of Mr...
...The action by the Texas solons follows similar efforts against homosexual parenting in Alabama, Arkansas, Indiana, Tennessee, and Virginia-all despite the promising scientific findings of the Gay Stork Project just completed at the Overloon Zoo near historic Eindhoven, the Netherlands...
...And, in Berlin, Italy won the World Cup, beating France in a penalty shootout...
...Yet there are sourpusses everywhere...
...Greencastle has only a small Islamic community, but the voluptuous curves of those R's have been known to drive young Islamicists mad with passion...
...In this case it was synthetic testosterone, suggesting that the cyclist patronizes the same pharmacy as French President Jacques Chirac...
...On July 13 the willowy CIA operative, who in recent years has apparently been CIA station chief at the Tysons Corner shopping center in northern Virginia, filed a lawsuit against Vice President Dick Cheney and his aides for blowing her cover and making it impossible for her to enter Bloomingdale's unidentified...
...That would be the last person that I would think would do something like this," a crestfallen Mr...
...Yet dating rocks did in its day allow passionate individuals an opportunity to experience emotional growth...
...The closing came just days after Mr...
...Yes, but quite possibly sufficient to earn the Asian gourmand an appearance in the Guinness Book of Records, and it beats sushi...
...Mickey 14 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR SEPTEMBER 2006 R. EMMETT TYRRELL, JR...
...Not that medical irregularities are unknown in America...
...Robert Brooks, the founder and guiding genius behind the Hooters restaurant chain...
...In Texas, that state's House of Representatives passed a bill banning homosexual couples from being foster parents...
...Vince Welnick, the Dead's last keyboard player, committed suicide...
...Brooks's first culinary effort was a milkshake adopted by Burger King...
...Finally, in London, what had been billed as the first annual "National Muslim Fun Day" at that city's largest amusement park had to be canceled owing to lack of interest and to the ever present danger of the arrival of suicide bombers when Muslims gather to have a good time...
...Moreover, there was very little chance of sexually transmitted disease...
...The Islamic revival continues to attract attention worldwide...
...It is a scary quantity to swallow...
...have yet to be released...
...So, Amerika, are you listening...
...And in Greencastle, Indiana, unknown thieves have stolen dozens of R's from business signs...
...Wetherill began his campaign in the 1950s other advances in birth control now allow persons concerned about overpopulation to forsake their rocks and enter into sexual relations with fellow humans without fear of pregnancy...
...Well, to a point, Mr...
...He was a graduate of Clemson University, with a degree in dairy science...
...Brooks died of natural causes...
...His name has not been published, but a representative of Nigeria's National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) enthused: "He is still excreting...
...Better that than a bleeding heart," eh, Fidel...
...Robert Brooks, the founder and guiding genius behind the Hooters restaurant chain...
...Recalled the Dead's surviving drummer, Mr...
...Roger Federer won his fourth straight Wimbledon title, the woman's title going to Miss Amelie Mauresmo...
...Finally, another of the members of the Grateful Dead choral ensemble has made good on the group's grisly boast...
...Paixao told reporters...
...In sports news, a Korean man has excreted 48 packets of cocaine at a Nigerian airport...
...Wilson, who can no longer get a pedicure or a leg waxing without attracting public notice...
...Fidel Castro, was hospital-bound suffering from a bleeding intestine...
...In Framingham, Massachusetts, authorities have closed down an illegal liposuction clinic run by the eloquent Mr...
...July also witnessed the passing of a pioneer in the population control movement, Dr...
...George W. Wetherfll, a planetary scientist who according to his New York Times' obituary was an early expert in the "Dating of Rocks...
...THE ISIS CONTINUING CR R. Emmett T y r r e i l , J r . July has come and gone, and the Israeli Defense Forces spent much of the month rummaging through Lebanon looking for two Israeli soldiers kidnapped by pious Hezbollah terrorists who wandered into Israel seeking companionship...
...At month's end the genial Cuban dictator, Mr...
...Unfortunately, since the Bush administration identified her as an operative in an effort to discredit her husband, the handsome perjurer Ambassador Joseph Wilson, she has not dared to venture from her Georgetown purlieus even for a Vanity Fair photo op...
...Valerie Plame's persecution complex continues to make headlines...
...Plame had been particularly good at photographing members of the Arab diplomatic corps as they shopped for picnic lunches at Victoria's Secret...
...Miss Kay has been charged with improper disposition of human remains...
...From there he went on to establish his fabled chain of restaurants served by full-figured waitresses and patronized-let us be frank-by sad sacks...
...Presumably attendees at Miss Kay's future performances will think twice before yelling the stripper's traditional anthem, "Take It Off...
...Hart...
...In Malaysia, Islamic clerics on the National Fatwa Council have prohibited members of their flock from using Botox in cosmetic surgery...
...As we go to press, the final results of the Montana State Cornholing Doubles Championships Death also claimed Mr...
...Llama Paixao, where he remonstrated against the practice of unlicensed medicine in dirty basements...
...The three were secretly taped by a television crew as they conspired to amputate the healthy limbs of street beggars...
...Authorities grew suspicious when an obese 24-yearold left the Ribeiro's basement thinner but close to death...
...Floyd Landis tested positive for illegal levels of testosterone...
...All the eggs hatched beautifully and the chicks are leading perfectly normal lives: fluttering their little wings, consumingbugs and small fishes, but uttering not a chirp...
...Finally, in what might be called the "Case of the Xtreme Stripper," police in South Plainfield, New Jersey, searching the residence of stripper Miss Linda Kay, discovered a severed hand and six skulls...
...The substance, which incorporates pig extracts, is considered an occasion of sin even for women whose faces are hidden by the awning-like headgear of traditional Islamic couture...
...In Brisbane, Australia, at this year's idealistic Earth Dialogues Forum on the rights of young people, Nobel peace laureate Miss Betty Williams declaimed that she "would like to kill George Bush...
...And Tour de France winner Mr...
...Hart, "he had that fearlessness to be able to go and just jump into our madness and just operate on it like it was a normal, everyday procedure...
...She was not precise as to which George Bush she would like to murder, but bearing in mind her long association with progressive causes, probablyboth...
...The consequence has been an incalculable loss to our national security and a grievous inconvenience to Mr...
Vol. 39 • September 2006 • No. 7
