THE CONTINUING CRISIS
Tyrrell, R. Emmett Jr.
THE CONTaNUING CRIStS R. EMMETT TYRRELL, JR. February extinguished itself as fear spread among American conservatives. The worry is that somewhere some reckless right-wing cartoonist will...
...officials at the local zoo were met by homosexual protesters for attempting to introduce female ment, astheyweregettinghungry.IntheIndiantown i penguins into the zoo's famed homosexual penguin of Japalli, one of the most prudish communities in i collection, all was quiet when officials tried again...
...The lovebirds have separated and the Supreme Court of Sweden has held that the lesbian mother who transformed the 39-year-old man's emissions into three children is now owed a monthly check from this chucklehead...
...That jackass visited Saudi Arabia, matrix of Islamofascism, and in mid-February apprised the assembled galoots that the Bush administration has been committing "terrible abuses, and it's wrong...
...Marc Mezvinsky, the callipygian son of former congresswomen Mrs...
...Andhra Pradash, teetotalers have failed to close local i Possibly German homosexuals feel sorry for their poofter penguins, who pair off and adopt pebbles as eggs...
...According to the BBC News, "on the second day of the team's expedition, the amazed scientists watched a male Berlepsch's [pronounced berp] bird of paradise liquor stores but the forces of sobriety have not given up...
...Only 28 percent of the liberal Democrats made that claim, and though the pollsters at Pew were too polite to mention it, doubtless the rest of the liberals polled were difficult to deal with...
...Former President Saddam Hussein went on a hunger strike in protest of the oppressive conditions in which he is being kept...
...She quickly retorted on a New York radio show that Mr...
...al-Gore did not elaborate...
...Also, the air in the "lost world" was almost unbreathable...
...The plants included five hitherto unknown palms, a giant rhododendron as large as a Nissan Armada, and a poisonous fern...
...Howard Dean with a missile under his toupee or desecrate some other Democratic icon and thus ignite bloody hell among liberal Democrats everywhere, especially in the Northeast...
...From Mr...
...On the homosexualist front a Swedish man who donated his own spermatozoa in the early 1990s so that two Swedish lesbians could become man and wife has been hit for child support...
...Liberal Democrats are the gloomiest...
...Springs might depict her busily engaged in making a car bomb at one of the many health food stores she frequents in her district...
...According to the New York Daily News, Miss Chelsea Clinton has entered into a serious adult relationship with Mr...
...A "lost world" of new or nearly extinct plant and animal life was discovered by an international team of scientists in the remote Foja Mountains of Indonesia...
...Rove spends "a lot of time obsessing about m e " - t h a t apparently being a cute reference to her famously well-turned calves...
...Karl Rove, was quoted as describing Senator Hillary Milhous Clinton as "brittle...
...Even when a Republican bigwig makes a gesture their way they are unappeasable...
...APRIL 2006 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 11...
...The Clintons continue to live on the wild side...
...When will the Democrats cool off...
...He was also suspected of getting "too close" to a primitive egglaying mammal known as a long-beaked echisnas, which team members brought back to their encampHarvard State University forced President Lawrence Summers to resign before he could realize his dream of creating on the HSU campus the largest Phys Ed irate...
...Fears of sectarian violence within the Faculty of Arts and Sciences at Harvard State University forced President Lawrence Summers to resign before he could realize his dream of creating on the HSU campus the largest Phys Ed department in the Ivy League...
...Marjorie Margolies-Mezvinsky, who 10 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR APRIL 2006 THE CONT NUING CRISIS lost her seat after voting for President Bill Clinton's 1993 tax increase, and of former congressman Mr...
...John Springs' cover sketch on this issue, readers can envisage what enormities he could commit on the scowling mug of the Hon...
...the bad news is that her three children are all boys...
...Edward Mezvinsky, who in 2002 won a seat in a federal penitentiary after pleading guiltyto participation in a $10 million pyramid scheme...
...On the other hand, possibly the German homosexuals knew that the female penguins--brought in from Swedenwould not have a chance with the Bremerhaven gay birds who can be pretty stubborn: witness their commitment to those stones...
...Muqtada al-Sadr...
...Cheney's quarry was a Republican millionaire their wrath was unsated...
...Their anger still smolders from the Republicans' clever heist of the presidential elections of 2000 and 2004...
...Then vavoom: the Angry Left's indignados might leave their Yoga studios, forsake their sex education classes, and pour into the streets burning American flags, chanting antiSUV jingles, and storming Wal-Marts...
...Nor has he been allowed a recreational rape or killing, and there are no aerobics classes at his present residence...
...al-Gore, the alleged abuses involved Arabs who after 9/11 have been "indis - criminately rounded up, often on minor charges of overstaying a visa.., and held in conditions that were just unforgivable...
...That is the good news...
...Dean how happy he might be or Senator Clinton...
...None of the scientists became sexually aroused, but then none of them after encountering that poisonous fern could be feeling very well...
...One can well imagine a cartoonist with Halliburton sympathies responding to such rhetorical excess by dipping his quill into the ink and depicting Mr...
...Though none of the scientists would admit it, most of them wanted to get the hell out of there as soon as possible, except for Dr...
...The worry is that somewhere some reckless right-wing cartoonist will depict Dr...
...There the liberal mood has been quite volatile ever since the profaning of their local war hero, Senator Jean-FranCois Kerry, who served in Vietnam before disserving Vietnam...
...Forty-seven percent of the conservative Republicans polled by Pew described themselves as "very happy...
...No wonder she is perform a mating dance" either for a nearby female or for members of the team itself...
...And it did not help when our suave President's henchman, Mr...
...There they sit on the remorseless stones that never stir and become quite chilly in winter...
...Bruce Beehler, co-leader of the group who opined that the Berlepsch's birds of paradise are "pretty darn sexy beasts...
...On February 11, Vice President Dick Cheneywhile on a quail hunt in Texas tried to ingratiate himself to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) by turning his gun from the valiant birds and peppering a hunting buddy...
...Or he might devote his satirical talents to the eminently satirizable former vice president al-Gore...
...What are you, some kind of wise guy...
...The stratagem availed him not, as suspicious liberals called for a congressional inquiry...
...The team spent nearly a month in the area fighting off mosquitoes and prickly heat but finding an amazing array of plants and animals...
...Even when it was reported that Mr...
...Since his incarceration he has been denied all forms of pornography...
...In Bremerhaven, Germany, a year after department in the Ivy League...
...Nancy Pelosi...
...They have passed a law ordering that any married man caught with liquor on his breath will be brought before the village elders and smacked in the face five times with his wife's slippers while an assemblage of local residents takes note...
...alGore as the Rev...
...Can you imagine asking Dr...
...He also hoped to bring back Home Ec for the university's growing population of women students, many of whom are having difficulty with math...
...As readers of this magazine have known for years, conservative Republicans are the happiest people in the land...
...Finally the Pew Research Center for the Public and the Press has released its findings on group happiness...
...According to Mr...
Vol. 39 • April 2006 • No. 3
