THE CONTINUING CRISIS
Tyrrell, R. Emmett Jr.
THE CONTiNUiNG CRIS S R. EMMETT TYRRELL, JR. December exited stage left, trampling 2005 and allowing 2006 to make its debut, much to the relief of another Clintonista, hounded as Clintonistas so...
...Richardson was never drafted by the Athletics, who have since moved to Oakland, or any other baseball team, major league, minor league, or Little League...
...The American economy ended 2005 averaging almost a four percent growth rate per quarter, despite repeated Federal Reserve Board interest rate hikes, record high oil prices, and numerous acts of God-or, if you are dyslexic, Dog...
...Alerted by the New York Times that the National SecurityAgency is monitoring e-mails and international telephone calls between Americans and international terrorists, two Republican senators, the Hon...
...After surveilling a tunnel being dug into a bank's basement in San Salvador, the police discovered two completely naked men running Marion Barry was robbed by two gun-toting youths, who entered his apartment after he rewarded them for carrying his groceries in with what he described as "candy...
...The Hon...
...Senator Kennedy himself has been a fan of the Cuisinart ever since his wife used it to make eggnog martinis...
...Sandy Berger...
...There's sort of an unwritten code in Washington among the underworld, the hustlers, and these other guys that I'm their friend...
...And while on the matter of sexual degeneracy, how is holy Islam going to deal with the arrival of the world's first remote-controlled toilet...
...FEBRUARY 2006 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 11...
...He is building a $17 million zoo solelyto feed and house penguins in Turkmenistan's famed Karakorum 10 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR FEBRUARY 2006 THE CONTmNUING CRISIS Desert...
...Saddam has confided to his lawyer, Mr...
...In Washington, D.C., former Mayor Marion Barry was robbed by two gun-toting youths, who entered his apartment after he rewarded them for carrying his groceries in with what he described as "candy...
...Everest, Sir Edmund Hillary, though the Fact Checkers have established that Sir Edmund was a nobody at the time of her birth, in 1947 in Bethlehem, the City of David...
...The Neorest perceives the person's gender and state of need...
...Richardson-once a member of Congress and now governor of New Mexico--has claimed to have been drafted by the Kansas City Athletics...
...Reportedly a "wand extends from the back of the rim and sprays water upwards," the action controlled "by the seated occupant...
...Former President Bill Clinton continued his campaign against child obesity with no mention of his wife or two brothers-in-law, or, for that matter, Miss Monica Lewinsky...
...The arctic birds will be protected from the desert's 104~ temperatures by a giant ice palace...
...A better alternative might be to place him in a gigantic Cuisinart with some nice fresh herbs and serve him as a light puree to his admirers, some of whom seem to be lining up with Senator Edward Kennedy in the improbable American anti-war movement...
...The British food chain Tesco introduced the world's first musical sandwich, a Christmas special featuring turkey and cranberry sauce and playing when its package is opened a medley of seasonal tunes including "3ingle Bells" and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas...
...In France President 3acques Chirac observed his 73rd birthday with the lowest approval rating in the history of the Fifth Republic but with the prospect that when his term ends in 18 months he can have an apolaustic position in that Russian-German pipeline, possibly in its Oil-for-Food program...
...Perhaps the company will feature with its pastrami sandwich various digestive noises...
...Sales of the Neorest have been slow except in Hollywood, California, where they are a hit...
...The United Nations conference on global warming commenced in Montreal, Canada, with Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin calling on "reticent nations, including the United States," to join the "global conscience...
...Late in 2005 they alighted on former Ambassador to the United Nations Bill Richardson for discrepancies regarding his record of athletic achievement...
...The Times (known by all rightthinking Americans as the Good Times) reported that the Hon...
...3onathan Church announced that"we will consider a whole range of musical sandwiches...
...forces lodged in a rat hole...
...and company spokesman Mr...
...Late in December the infallible Washington Times reported that after a month of taunts in the courtroom, former President Saddam Hussein is inclining toward pessimism...
...Barry told a press conference: "I was really kind of hurt...
...It flushes automatically and even "activates a gentle cleansing process...
...We have stopped a big-scale robbery," crowed police commissioner Mr...
...That, of course, is where the moral questions begin to accumulate...
...But in forward-looking Turkmenistan, the incomparable President Saparmurat Niyazov is taking action to protect some of the earliest victims of Global Warming, the world's penguins...
...Let the Crisis begin...
...In London the Institute for Public Policy Research reported that ten of the European Union's signatories to the Kyoto accords had failed again to meet their atmospheric commitments, including France and Germany...
...Richardson becomes the second member of the Clinton administration to be embarrassed by a draft record...
...from the tunnel when it collapsed and perspiring heavily...
...Issam Ghazzawi (not to be confused with the similarlynamed Japanese automobile producer), that if found guilty he wants to be shot before a firing squad, not hanged...
...For years the Fact Checkers have been tormenting both Clintons, select members of the Clinton cabinet, and their national security advisor, the fellow with the deep pockets, Mr...
...Described as "state-of-theart," the Neorest toilet, manufactured in Arizona, features a lid that opens and closes as a person approaches it...
...The former German chancellor, Herr Gerhard Schr6der, delighted connoisseurs of hypocrisy when he took a job with a Russian-German pipeline company whose service he had championed in his previous role as public servant...
...Chuck Hagel and the Hon...
...Olympia Snowe, voted with Democrats to call for an investigation of the whole rotten mess...
...Possibly he is afraid of heights (acrophobia runs in his family which perhaps explains why he was found by U.S...
...Obviously the Barry Coalition is breaking up, and the Republican Congress is under pressure also...
...Thus, Mr...
...3ust how gentle is this action and for how long...
...Now inveterate Fact Checkers, working for the Albuquerque Journal, reveal that the Hon...
...Saddam, at his meeting with his lawyers among whom is numbered former U.S...
...Apparently there have been no protesters...
...Wilfredo Avelenda, delicately ignoring the obvious sexual degeneracy...
...Nonetheless, he remains a likely Democratic presidential nominee along with Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, who remains adamant that her parents named her after the conqueror of Mt...
...For nearly four decades Mr...
...December exited stage left, trampling 2005 and allowing 2006 to make its debut, much to the relief of another Clintonista, hounded as Clintonistas so often are, by one of the most venomous groups on the Far Right, to wit, the Fact Checkers...
...Various federal prosecutors doubtless felt vindicated after Mr...
...You can be certain that Imams everywhere will be contemplating that wand even as, for several years, they have scrupled over the vibrators on mobile telephones...
...Under consideration might be animal noises from the about-to-be-consumed delicacy, for instance: "cluck, cluck" for chicken salad, or "oink, oink" for the everpopular hog brains sandwich...
...David Kendall of Williams & Connolly is also one of his lawyers...
...Possibly Mr...
...After two more Republicans joined the Democrats to thwart renewal of the USA Patriot Act the act was given only a five-week extension, thus allowing congressional investigations...
...And at the annual meeting of the Radiological Society of North America, researchers reported that the human buttocks are becoming so plump that longer hypodermic needles are needed to administer accurate drug injections to two-thirds of the patients that the researchers had scrutinized...
...Wait until they appear in Saudi Arabia...
...Police in El Salvador may have uncovered a team of homosexual bank robbers...
...Attorney General Ramsey Clark, remained on message, repeatedly assuring them: "Of course, I am not guilty...
Vol. 39 • February 2006 • No. 1
