The Continuing Crisis
Tyrell, R. Emmett Jr.
THE CONTINUING CRISIS R. EMMETT TYRELL, J R. By the end of September Hurricane Katrina became the first hurricane ever to be attributed to a sitting American...
...Rhodes registered his Jack Russell terrier, Toby, to vote in New Zealand's next general election...
...On the authoritative Oprah Winfrey Show New Orleans' Police Chief Eddie Compass reported that in the Superdome "little babies [are] getting raped...
...Did Mr...
...What might that be, Mr...
...There was more trouble at the Munich Beer Festival where a gang of young hooligans were caught pre-tending to be policemen so that they could touch female beer drinkers in indecent places...
...This show too is in dutch with the animal rights rigorists...
...Mick Jagger, who continues to eschew makeup, though perhaps carefully applied putty is what is required for the ruins of his face...
...Junichiro Koizumi swept past the opposition, and in Germany Chancellor Gerhard Schroder's Social Democrats lost in a close race against Mrs...
...The faux police claimed to be part of a security patrol searchHurricane Katrina became the first hurricane ever to be attributed to a sitting American president, namely President George W. Bush—and he had the gall to call himself a compassionate conservative...
...CNN's Miss Soledad O'Brien affected the bare-midriff look with almost no makeup, at least on her midriff...
...Sternbach was the inventor of Valium...
...Yet there might be a place for him on Croatian television...
...The Clinton is the more expensive of the two in deference to the mesmeric president's wider experience...
...T H E C O N T I N U I N G C R I S I S R . E M M E T T T Y R R E L L, J R. By the end of September Hurricane Katrina became the first hurricane ever to be attributed to a sitting American president, namely President George W. Bush—and he had the gall to call himself a "compassionate conservative...
...On the other hand, there was some good news for Democrats too...
...Bill Clinton...
...On Larry King Live Mr...
...CNN's Miss Paula Zahn mentioned "bands of rapists, going block to block...
...CNN reported small arms fire aimed at rescue helicopters...
...Later in the month a Chinese company added to Mr...
...On his evanescing late-night MSNBC show, The Situation, he repeatedly showed a film clip of an unnamed anthropoid inserting its finger into its anus and sniffing it...
...Anderson Cooper, whilst interviewing National Review's Mr...
...The only question for Mr...
...Schroder employs a beautician to dye his hair...
...Roberts...
...The well-defined square jaw of a tennis pro...
...Kofi Annan, President Olusegun Obasanjo, and Mr...
...September was a big month for former Boy President, Mr...
...ing for secreted weapons in the women's gowns, but some of the women caught on and notified authorities, who booked the young men on charges ranging from sexual assault to indecency to impersonating a police officer...
...In Zagreb there is a reality show on the web (www.stado.org) that features seven Croatian writers reading literature to sheep (Ovis bovidae...
...Senator Mary Landrieu (D-LA) notified a national television audience that "We have got-ten reports, but unconfirmed, of some of our deputies and sheriffs that have either been injured or killed"—and she expressed her strong and inextinguishable yearning to "punch" the President...
...Now you see why with cable news programming there is no need for sitcoms...
...last, in his odd complacency in not sparing any detail of his shadowy past, there is something that makes me deeply uneasy...
...Late in the month CNN's Mr...
...Leo Sternbach passed away...
...Levy...
...He is a little over forty years old...
...in his morose, fugitive glance...
...Ramesh Ponnuru, kept addressing him as "Dinesh...
...Those still distraught about registration problems in Campaign 2000 and Campaign 2004 may want to hire New Zealander Mr...
...12 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR NOVEMBER 2005 Tucker Carlson does not actually golf, so he wore beach attire...
...He held his first annual Clinton Global Initiative, and it had nothing to do with scortatory pursuits or Biblical exegeses of fellatio...
...Incidentally, there is apparently no truth to the rumor that the Guangzhou Rubber Company plans to market an organic condom, the "Gore," or that the Lewinsky condom is a talking condom...
...The Guangzhou Rubber Group announced that it is marketing two new condoms under the brand names "Clinton" (which in Chinese reads "Kelintun") and "Lewinsky" ("Laiwensiji...
...John Roberts as 17th Chief Justice of the United States after Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid declared his intention to vote against Mr...
...At a point during the readings viewers are asked to vote on a sheep that they can either "adopt" or send to the slaughterhouse...
...Convened in New York City, the Global Initiative included such luminaries as Mr...
...Brock is "in many respects one of the most objectively loathsome [characters] I've met in the ten months I've been traveling through this country...
...MSNBC's Mr...
...Dan Rather summed up the media's historic moment: "They took us there to the hurricane...
...Speaking of Mr...
...In point of fact, many of the media superstars appeared on camera wearing golf attire...
...4 NOVEMBER 2005 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 13...
...In the current issue of the Atlantic the French journalist Mr...
...Up there in the Kultursmog the media were very indignant...
...Yet in the corners of his mouth...
...Tensions increased at Buena Pastor Prison in Colombia after the very popular Miss Heide Leon, an armed robber, lost the prison's annual beauty contest to Miss Yury Uribe, the legendary drug trafficker nabbed attempting to bring a half kilo of heroin into the United States in her ample stomach...
...Miss Uribe will now carry the title "Miss Congeniality" for a year or until she is beat-en to death...
...Peter Rhodes as a consultant...
...Merkel that his hair is the real McCoy...
...David Brock to monitor Mr...
...The dog is registered as "Toby Russell Rhodes" and his occupation is "rodent exterminator...
...Rather been at the scene he would have been wearing his legendary safari outfit with pith helmet and perhaps, given his recent semiretirement, a butterfly collector's net slung over his shoulder...
...Dark brown hair, smug good looks, thin wire-rimmed glasses...
...They put the facts in front of us and, very important, they sucked up their guts and talked truth to power...
...in the self-satisfied bitterness of his smile...
...George Soros, Mr...
...Finally it was a dreadful month over at Media Matters for America, the Democratic organization set up by Mr...
...Rush Limbaugh's jokes...
...Ten thousand people perished, possibly ten million...
...And there was more bad news for Democrats...
...In election news Japan's Liberal Democratic Party under Mr...
...Carlson, the ineffably boyish Mini-Con may be in trouble with the indignados of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA...
...Doubtless, had Mr...
...T H E C O N T I N U I N G C R I S I S The United States Senate confirmed Mr...
...Carlson is will he be a reader or a sheep...
...Brock get you on tape...
...In sports news Miss Wang Xiaobei of Jinan, China, pulled an automobile 65 feet with rope clenched in her teeth...
...Schroder has sued journalists for making such assertions, and as this magazine goes to press he is refusing to step down possibly until he gets an admission from Mrs...
...Alas, by the end of September all the above reports were found to be false, leaving cynics to wonder if the net-works used Hurricane Katrina as an occasion to get these pompous louts out of the office...
...Bernard-Henri Levy recorded that Mr...
...His accompanying witless banter suggests that on American cable news there is no late-night slot late enough for him...
...Angela Merkel's Christian Democrats, made all the more acrimonious by Mr...
...Miss Xiaobei is 71 years old...
...A seven-year-old child was also raped, and had her throat slashed...
...Schroder's suspicion that the Christian Democrats were spreading the old charge that Mr...
...Clinton's legacy...
Vol. 38 • November 2005 • No. 9
