THE CONTINUING CRISIS
Tyrell, R. Emmett Jr.
THE CONTINUING CRISIS R. EMMETT TYRELL, JR. A very pleasant summer ended with the United States suffering its worst natural disaster since the 1900 Galveston Hurricane, which left at least 6,000...
...Osama bin Laden, if there actually remains an Osama bin Laden...
...Prime Minister Tony Blair gigantic fireworks display paid for by a $2,000,000 donation from Mr...
...But after 15 minutes he still hadn't come off the phone and when I went to look he was red in the face and was obviously excited about something...
...In Bavaria, local beer drinkers and simple bystanders may have had their last glimpse at the celebrated Bavarian dirndl if the European Union's (EU) 10 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR OCTOBER 2005 latest Optical Radiation Directive takes hold...
...In the nearby German town of Bad Urach, police are still searching for a middle-aged sex maniac who gained entry into people's homes by asking them if he might use their telephone to call roadside repair for his vehicle...
...In the Serbian town of Farkadzin, paramedics returned a 77-year-old patient from hospital to the wrong house where they left him in the owner's bed...
...Rakovic...
...The only higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate...
...Precisely six months after Mr...
...August witnessed two six-month stories of note...
...Petersburg police, the thieves made off with thousands of rolls of toilet paper being carried by several trucks in a traditional Russian toilet paper convoy...
...Johnny Depp, the actor, and attended by two former Democratic presidential candidates, Senator George McGovern and Senator Jean-Francois Kerry, who might have been under the impression that he was attending Bastille Day...
...August saw the rise of an American Mahatma Gandhi...
...Like so much of Mr...
...Jude Wanniski, originator of the term "supply-side economics," and a bold advocate of growth economics...
...Actually he was making calls to sex lines and probably touching himself in immodest places...
...Hunter S. Thompson sought happy dispatch by shooting himself in the head, his ashes were borne heavenward in a OCTOBER 2005 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 11...
...Not a very prudent choice of words, Mr...
...Louis Farrakhan and for President Adolf Hussein, but when it came to economics he was a seer of great gifts and a very sweet writer...
...In Dacca, the country's capital, scores of bicycles had their seats removed at a mosque while worshipers prayed in the familiar bottoms up manner...
...And concern over international terror has even influenced the French...
...Japan's Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi (pronounced kama sutra), miffed by an unfavorable vote THE CONTINUING CRISIS in parliament, called for a snap general election, fragmenting his party, the Liberal Democratic Party, which has governed Japan for most of the past half century...
...Jude had his lapses, for instance, a sympathy for the Rev...
...The heightened alert level was precipitated by a mysterious fire that destroyed France's only white flag factory, paralyzing its military's command and control capacity...
...That telephone call came to almost $75, and after his lewd outburst the mayor of Munich cannot be above suspicion...
...An area along the Gulf Coast approximately the size of Great Britain was hit by Hurricane Katrina, causing levees to collapse in New Orleans and the 20 percent of the population that failed to evacuate to suffer the horrors of Galveston...
...announced that Britain will in the aftermath of this summer's terror bombings no longer allow incivistic harangues by Muslim holy men...
...Mladic and Karadzic remain at large...
...EU officials claim that the frdulein's bared bosoms can fall prey to sunburn and possibly skin cancer, which has become a major target of the EU's hypochondriacs...
...At this writing none of the seats has been recovered and foul play is suspected...
...Police have no leads, and St...
...Using old addresses, police in South Africa sent out invitations to 190 of the country's most wanted criminals to attend a "VIP" party featuring prizes and the appearance of a "surprise guest...
...Eventually the paramedics returned to recover the patient and continue their travels after having a good laugh with Mr...
...Johnny Depp...
...Possibly she will begin peace negotiations with Mr...
...Radovan Karadzic, is wanted for war crimes...
...Though this last charge remains purely speculative, she has gained considerable credibility in the media and is planning to take her protest to Washington...
...Radomir Rakovic, upon returning home and finding the patient, "or a burglar or something...
...Petersburg, Russia, are at a loss for explaining how a half dozen of their uniforms fell into the hands of the boldest gang of toilet paper thieves in Russian history...
...I thought he was a tramp," explained Mr...
...The dirndl is that traditional blouse worn by beer garden frdulein so as to reveal their bosoms behind the trays of frosty steins they bring to their customers and simple bystanders...
...THE CONTINUING CRISIS R. EMMETT TYRRELL, JR...
...Twenty of the dullards showed up and were promptly consigned to the hoosegow...
...Claiming to be legitimate St...
...Hunter S. Thompson sought happy dispatch by shooting himself in the head, his ashes were borne heavenward in a gigantic fireworks display paid for by a $2,000,000 donation from Mr...
...She is very concerned about this president in particular and has identified him to her followers as a "lying bastard," "a filth spewer," and an "evil maniac," who, as the world's "biggest terrorist," is committing "blatant genocide" and "waging a nuclear war...
...Said one of the four women whose homes he entered, "It was raining and I felt bad that his car had broken down and so I let him in to call the breakdown services...
...Finally, on a lighter note, an estimated 50,000 scantily clad virgins turned up in Ludzidzini Royal Village, Swaziland, in hopes of becoming the 13th wife of King Mswati III, after dancing in front of him in a daylong pageant called the Reed Dance...
...Three hundred and fifty other dignitaries attended the funereal spectacular, causing a reporter for the New York Times to recall the deceased's famous asseveration, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro...
...Ratko Mladic and Mr...
...One of these last two stories has to be a joke...
...Petersburg's stocks of toilet paper are dangerously low...
...Casualties promise to be heavier and damage vastly greater...
...Police in St...
...Cindy Sheehan, a horse-faced, mawkish battle-ax, who set up an anti-war demonstration near President George W. Bush's ranch throughout August in hopes that the President would have a word with her...
...Reportedly the government of President Jacques Chirac has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide...
...Authorities in Argentina arrested Mr...
...Thompson's facetiae it is completely senseless, which explains why he became the Wrong-Way Corrigan of his time...
...Perhaps the terrorists are losing their political quick-wittedness...
...Philip Klass, 85, a tireless exposer of UFOs, and Mr...
...Precisely six months after Mr...
...Yet at this writing no one from al Qaeda has claimed responsibility...
...And six months to the day that the government of Bangladesh banned an Islamic group suspected of pyrolatry, 350 small bombs were detonated across the country within an hour, killing two people and injuring more than 100...
...Milan Lukic, a Bosnian Serb who, along with Mr...
...Two great debunkers of nonsense passed away, Mr...
...Messrs...
...A very pleasant summer ended with the United States suffering its worst natural disaster since the 1900 Galveston Hurricane, which left at least 6,000 dead...
...Mayor...
...She is Mrs...
...This is European lawmaking at its most pedantic," complains Munich's Mayor Christian Ude (pronounced Vee-dee...
...A waitress is no longer allowed to wander round a beer garden with a plunging neckline—I would not want to enter a beer garden under these conditions...
Vol. 38 • October 2005 • No. 8
