BEN STEIN'S DIARY: Doing God's Work
Stein, Benjamin J.
BEN STEIN'S DIARY Doing God's Work by Benjamin J. Stein SATURDAY WHEN I AM IN Washington, D.C., there is a particular restaurant in Foggy Bottom that I favor. It's called the dining room of the...
...You mean, should we kill the baby and tear his brains out because his parents are high...
...WEDNESDAY AND HERE IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE...
...Besides, why should social undesirables be allowed to reproduce...
...Oh, well...
...I asked...
...But the people your parents were fighting do not want for this to be a free country...
...Our donors come from all walks of life and are leaving charitable gifts in their wills...
...What an open, friendly, welcoming nation this is, and becoming more so by the day...
...Smart, good-natured, common-sensical, honest...
...Be proud...
...But the party as a group is a bellyaching bunch of whiners...
...You can help The American Spectator by including the following in your will: I give, devise, and bequeath $ to The American Spectator Foundation (IRS Tax ID #237002632), presently located at 1611 North Kent Street, Suite 901, Arlington, Virginia 22209 for the purposes of publishing The American Spectator...
...Lots of Republicans," she said, curling her lip...
...It is incredibly hard for her, too...
...That's right...
...The high school kids saw what I had done, and followed my example...
...You can do any of those things, because you live in a free country, bought with your parents' lives...
...Fear...
...Black and white students having dinner together before the prom...
...Patriotism...
...But I wish none of you were here...
...What can you do about it...
...What kind, good people we have at the highest ranks in our society...
...Cruelly...
...They asked me for my autograph and for some photos and as I posed with them, they said, "Now we have two celebrities in the room...
...Writers...
...Instead, the schools teach self-esteem or they teach how bad America is...
...No, houses are a lot less on the 17 Mile Drive, but that's Red State country...
...Share their burden...
...He said it very simply: He said, we all ask God to help this great country...
...Obviously, there are a great many patriotic Democrats...
...It's called the dining room of the Watergate Hotel...
...Your parents were models of what Americans should be...
...They want to take away our freedoms the way they have taken away freedom from the people in the countries they took over...
...I think the Fiihrer had that one down perfectly...
...She cheerily waved back and gestured for me to come over...
...A bequest can be a specific amount in dollars, a percentage of the estate, a particular piece of real or personal property, shares of stock, or all or part of the residue of an estate...
...Had to be...
...When the war on terror is won, we will have you and your parents to thank...
...What if two crackheads get pregnant...
...I go to doctors a lot...
...First of all, be good to your surviving parent, usually your mother...
...I want some bureaucrat from the Department of Motor Vehicles getting in the way of the most intimate of human acts...
...Doctor," I said, "I think you are becoming a Republican...
...Surprisingly, it has a superb chanteuse and small band behind her...
...Be good kids...
...But you guys, your parents, your brothers and sisters, your grandparents—you are paying the full measure for this war on terror...
...We could not live without them, not for a week...
...No, seriously," said the woman...
...We highly recommend that you discuss with your lawyer how best to address your desires to provide for your loved ones and the causes you value...
...Today, my doctor was telling me about a fundraising letter he got from Bob Bork...
...It was not that long ago that segregationists vowed it would never happen...
...Include The American Spectator in your will...
...The home she really likes is 800 square feet and costs $2 million...
...We both see certain selfish, unhelpful groups tormenting the society...
...Their burden is overwhelming...
...Yes, and let's kill all the ones whose parents aren't rich, okay...
...They may yet find their feet and nominate someone smart enough to see that patriotism is a good thing—and I am thinking Hillary here—or they may continue to let an actual dingbat, Howard Dean, set the pace...
...I looked over and there in a secluded corner of the room was Secretary Rice with five other people...
...Ballerinas...
...He is Jewish, as I am, and his father was a doctor, too...
...These men and women, your parents, keep us all free...
...This by itself will make it a lot easier for your parents...
...What progress has been made...
...Here is what I told the kids...
...But the Democrats bring gifts to the altar of the GOP constantly and win the elections for them...
...How can we possibly ask our soldiers to lay down their lives if we are not going to have appreciation for their sacrifice...
...So they can worship God as they wish, go to school as they wish, do the work they want, date who they want, marry who they want...
...It is that simple...
...Now, again, be proud of them...
...How many of you would like to be TV stars...
...THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR FOUNDED 1967 Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer in Beverly Hills and Malibu...
...But you are going to miss them terribly...
...Baseball players...
...Rice, asked for photos with her, and she very enthusiastically assented...
...Pride...
...No truck driver would be so blind...
...he asked...
...If this man, a Jewish doctor, is turning into a Republican, soon every smart man and woman in America will be Republicans...
...Elitism...
...The Democrats have driven the patriots away...
...WHAT A WORLD...
...Black students going to a high school with white students in Virginia...
...Oh, well...
...Most people in this country and all over the Western world just go on with their lives...
...Their motto...
...In my own childhood in Maryland, 66 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JULY/AUGUST 2005 BENJAMIN STEIN that would have been almost inconceivable...
...First of all, here is the most senior member of the cabinet of the most powerful nation on earth just eating at a restaurant that can be afforded by high school students for their prom...
...That's not a typo...
...I felt a rush of euphoria...
...There were about 200 children and about 400 spouses and parents, overwhelmingly wives...
...Bremer was to be alive, and then I left them to their dinner...
...We both marvel at the incredible self-obsession of the L.A...
...The woman looked a bit distressed and went on to talk about how scary Republicans were...
...These men and women and kids are the real cost of the war on terrorism...
...Definitely...
...We see the world in very similar ways...
...This woman has graduate degrees...
...I walked a discreet distance towards her and waved...
...It was packed (uncharacteristically—it's usually quite quiet...
...Well, of course she has graduate degrees, I suddenly realized...
...Oh, I've been a Republican for a long time now," he said...
...Then, there she is happily posing for photos with young kids she had almost certainly never seen before...
...Learn from them and be model citizens, too...
...We met at a hotel in Crystal City, near Arlington National Cemetery...
...I am here because I am a low-level TV and movie star and write about the armed forces a lot...
...You have the honor of knowing you inherited the courage and sacrifice of your parents...
...The letter—which I also got—was about how schools no longer teach gratitude and respect for America...
...They've been captured by the chronic complainers...
...WEDNESDAY AS USUAL, A VISIT TO MY DOCTOR...
...And then I tell them that I miss them and I am trying to live the way they would want me to live, and then I feel a lot better...
...Is everything that expensive in Carmel...
...The Democrats just don't love America...
...Should they be allowed to have the baby...
...He has saved my life on many an occasion...
...And we all ask God to do great things for this country and to go to work for the people we love...
...Your parents died to keep the people here at home free and to bring freedom to the countries where the terrorists come from...
...human being...
...JULY/AUGUST 2005 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 69...
...A full moon shone down on the Potomac River and lights played off the Kennedy Center onto the wavelets of that river and I felt very, very lucky to be an American...
...Sweet-faced kids...
...I have been going to this one for about a quarter of a century and, wow, do I love him...
...In doing so, they are making a tremendous difference to the world today and the one they will leave behind...
...Because the Foundation is a non-profit organization, bequests are free of estate and inheritance tax and can reduce the amount of your estate which will be taxed by the government...
...They shyly gestured behind my table...
...Making a lasting and significant contribution to The American Spectator Foundation is not just for the wealthy...
...I did so, and she offered her cheek to be kissed and then introduced me to her colleagues, two ofwhom were Paul Bremer and his staggeringly beautiful wife...
...And it'll be perfectly fine for the govern"The Democrats just don't love America...
...But shouldn't we guarantee a great home for every baby...
...Tears...
...You will own a permanent honor in the history of free men and women...
...They walked over to Dr...
...It is a tragedy, a catastrophe, and I cannot sugarcoat that...
...We could not get along well, or even at all, without the real stars, the ones who keep this country going: the men and women in fatigues and BDUs who go down alleys in Fallujah and Ar-Ramadi and Mosul and Kirkuk and Baghdad and Kabul...
...They are taking it with a heroism I cannot start to describe...
...And because they're my parents, I know how they would respond, and I write in my head a lot of questions, and in my head, they answer the questions...
...Do your work at school...
...We are not here on behalf of the government, so we can talk about God, and I can say this...
...It is also a big favorite of the Bush administration people and I have had dinner there a number of times with White House powers, especially Karl Rove...
...The war in Iraq is a total and complete mess...
...The table right next to us was made up of six kids from a high school in Virginia, four blacks and two whites, dining merrily and loudly and also very worriedly adding up the bill...
...We are at a ghastly place called the Tonga Room, with fake rain showers and lightning and unspeakably bad food...
...There is nowhere else I would rather be...
...The diners were largely young high school students in prom dress, chowing down before the big dance...
...And I would like to give you a suggestion for what I do when I miss my parents...
...Or him if it's your dad...
...Their inheritance is small and puny compared with the inheritance that you guys have been left by your hero parents...
...Control...
...We have clear evidence of just how benevolent and kind governments are when they have absolute power...
...Movie stars...
...The amazing thing is that the GOP has not done that great a job...
...That's what it means to lose a parent, especially as young as you are...
...The kids just got to meet a very important woman and were treated with complete respect and with complete equanimity by a woman who has vital say in world-shattering issues...
...BY MAKING A BEQUEST to The American Spectator Foundation, you will be giving one of the most powerful gifts one can give—helping to ensure the future of The American Spectator for the next generation of conservative readers...
...I left the restaurant and walked along the Potomac River in Georgetown and all I could think of, over and over, was "...and crown thy good with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea...
...And God answers back, "Here on earth, my work is your work...
...They've been captured by the chronic complainers...
...They want to control us and make us live in fear and dictatorship and terror...
...But not everyone shares in it equally...
...We could get along forever if Hollywood just vanished overnight...
...But this country could get along perfectly well without those stars...
...I am going to leave you with this thought...
...I just go to a quiet place and turn off the lights and, in my mind, I compose a letter to them...
...And they make a lot of money and get their photos on the cover of People and Us and they get on Entertainment Tonight and The Insider...
...Second, how the world has changed just in my lifetime...
...You and Condi Rice...
...This is the best room I have ever been in...
...Be good citizens in school...
...Now, be proud, but of course you will also suffer terribly for the rest of your lives...
...My head was reeling...
...Don't fight with your ment to decide who gets to breed and who doesn't, because once people go to work for the government, they have super human powers of discretion and insight...
...There are some people who are Rockefellers or the heirs of Bill Gates or some other billionaire...
...I am in San Francisco dining with a middle-aged woman who has been a family friend for 30 years...
...Your parents were doing that work...
...Your parents knew something that is vital to know...
...At least the singer here is good...
...It has great views, superb food, and fast service...
...Your parents fought and died to let the people in those countries be free, to let their children have the same choices you have...
...We both get into teary fits when we talk about how grateful we are to be Americans...
...You should know some things: You are paying the price for the war on terror.It had to be fought after 9/11...
...JULY/AUGUST 2005 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 67 BEN STEIN'S DIARY It's an honor to be here but not a pleasure...
...SATURDAY TONIGHT I SPOKE AT A GATHERING of the bravest civilians in the world, survivors of military men and women who died in Iraq and Afghanistan...
...I'll tell you what I told the parents another time...
...She visited with the students for some time, and then they left her and her guests in peace...
...I know this does not make it any easier today, but someday it will...
...You can also name the Foundation as a contingent beneficiary in the event somebody named in the will is no longer living...
...Camaraderie...
...Oh, yes," I answered...
...Carry in your heart the knowledge that there are stars in Hollywood, stars like Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson...
...None of you should have to go through what you have gone through, what you will go through...
...How can we survive if we don't teach pride in America...
...But you see, this woman is the perfect Democrat...
...Sweet-faced adults...
...It is a privilege just to be on the same planet as these men and women and children...
...Benjy," said this woman with a sweet look on her face, "don't you think that people should have to get a license from the government to have children...
...Now, it's routine...
...And this great woman, this sensible, good, patient, iron-willed woman who is Secretary of State, is the descendant of a slave in Alabama and in my childhood, would have—at best—been a teacher in a black-only school in Alabama if she had stayed in that state...
...The tax cuts had some good effects but went way too far and the deficit is now terrifying...
...If they find out we're Jewish, they might burn a cross on our lawn," she said with the merest hint of a laugh...
...No guards got in the way (although there were bodyguards in the foyer of the cafe...
...They also greeted me cheerfully...
...Do you think they'll hurt you...
...No one wrestled the kids to the ground...
...I felt a rush of euphoria...
...NBA stars...
...What a great country this is," ran through my brain like a brush fire...
...68 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JULY/AUGUST 2005 BENJAMIN STEIN brothers and sisters...
...We talked about how lucky Mr...
...Here is what it is, and I first heard it from John F. Kennedy, a man killed in his prime more than 40 years ago...
...Last Saturday night, I walked into the restaurant, with my beautiful colleague, Marina the expert on WMD...
...She and her hubby are looking for a home in what she called "The Golden Quadrangle" in Carmel...
Vol. 38 • July 2005 • No. 6
