BEN STEIN'S DIARY: Desert Stars
Stein, Benjamin J.
BEN STEIN'S DIARY Desert Stars by Benjamin J. Stein SATURDAY HERE I AM AT MY NEW HOME at Morningside Country Club in Rancho Mirage, California. Rancho Mirage is two towns east of...
...So, Barron and Steve and I are going to the clubhouse and having a lavish dinner...
...It was a lot of money, but not for paradise...
...Before Reagan, before Margaret Thatcher, he stood up to the Communists and offered hope for a life of the soul instead of just the machine...
...TUESDAY I JERE I AM AT THE BREAKERS in Palm Beach, Florida...
...I LOVE IT...
...How ironic and horrifying that he died within days of the judicial murder of the utterly innocent Terri Schiavo...
...He said that human life was sacrosanct, at every stage, from conception to old age and infirmity...
...Thank you, God, that I have interesting work to do...
...I LOVE IT...
...Then I thanked God for each and every man and woman who has fought and sacrificed, every mother and father who has lost a son on Iwo Jima or Bastogne or Vella Lavella or Monte Cassino or Pusan or Chosin Reservoir or the la Drang Valley or Ar-Ramadi or Najaf, for their sacrifice so we can live it up in the Morningside Clubhouse...
...On the way back from Rancho Mirage last night, I had an attack of colitis (probably because I did not want to leave) and I was desperately sick at many gas stations and restaurants and arrived home in a state of acute unhappiness...
...Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer in Beverly Hills and Malibu...
...I had one about 20 years ago but we never used it so I sold it...
...It is like a castle of light and greenery and glass perched above a lake and the golf course, with the Santa Rosa Mountains in the distance...
...It was way more than I can afford, but by insane overspending by me, I bought it, and I love it...
...He said that no human power had the right to murder innocent life...
...B E N S T E I N ' S D I A R Y Desert Stars by Benjamin J. Stein SATURDAY J ERE I AM AT MY NEW HOME at Morningside Country Club in Rancho Mirage, California...
...If anyone deserves credit for the breakup of the Eastern bloc, any one man, that man must be the Pope...
...Plus the maitre d' is endlessly asking if he can get me anything and the food comes out really, really fast...
...I finished the shooting and dragged my-self home in a near comatose condition...
...My pals Barron and Steve, world's kindest and smartest humans, are visiting Palm Springs from Scottsdale, and have come to see me...
...My idea was a house with a pool that lit up at night, palm trees all around the pool, a jacuzzi to sit in and watch the stars, and then stretching in front of it, a perfectly manicured golf course...
...Rancho Mirage is two towns east of Palm Springs in the desert about 110 miles east of Beverly Hills...
...It is afive-hour or maybe five half-hour series and it's pretty funny...
...BENJAMIN J S T E I N I LOVE IT...
...He said that human life and the sacred human personality were worth more than any other doctrine, more worthy than the state or the system of production or the Red Army...
...Thank you for my parents who taught me the value of hard work...
...Instead, I lay in bed with my dogs and I prayed...
...And if I talk about this endlessly it is because God and the angels He has sent to protect me merit endless praise and glory...
...I wish I were back at Morningside Country Club having my picture taken with those cute girls at the next table...
...I never really saw exactlywhat I wanted until just after New Year's or maybe just before New Year's, when I was visiting my pal, Peggy Morse, in the desert...
...They are all pretty, they are all giggling, and they all want their photos taken with me...
...Twenty years ago, I would have become hysterical and probably taken powerful drugs (prescription drugs) and been really crazed...
...Let's just say it was my dream house...
...It is like a magical bubble that I happened to find my way into...
...He was the best friend the human spirit has had in a very long time...
...Love, love, love...
...Thank you, God, that I have a house in Beverly Hills...
...I thought, "Thank you, God, that you allow me to have a home in Rancho Mirage on a golf course...
...They are all pretty, they are all giggling, and they all want their photos taken with me...
...So, I was exhausted and in a very, very bad mood and my wife was not home to boot...
...Then I take a long shower and then I lie in bed with my dogs and my wife and feel blessed...
...Then I had this long, maddening day today on the set, driven crazy by all the cheering that I had to shout over...
...After all," he says, "it's your club...
...JUNE 2005 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 59...
...Wow, this is a fancy hotel and I have a room right on the water...
...This happens to be a famous set because Dallas was shot here for a time (I am told) and mostly nowbecause American Idol is made here...
...SUNDAY I JERE I AM ON A SET AT CBS at Beverly Drive and Fairfax in Los Angeles...
...I like it a lot...
...Right now, I am watching the funeral of the Pope...
...Anyway, it was not what I wanted...
...tomorrow and also it is the night of a big end of season fiesta in the Morningside Country Club clubhouse...
...The pool, the golf course, the palm trees, the stars, the wind in the palms...
...I am the host of it...
...All this through the gifts of God...
...Now, here comes something interesting which is possibly useful...
...The club manager, Matt Gebel, former Navy F-14 pilot and superstar, endlessly comes over to me and asks what they can do to make me happy...
...Thank you for letting me be in America...
...This clubhouse has to be seen to be believed...
...At the table next to ours there are about 12 teen-age girls visiting their well-heeled grandparents...
...That helped...
...I mean, a real, real lot...
...My problems would be other peoples' dreams...
...Today, however, we are making a show for VH-1 about the history of game shows...
...I eat a huge amount of fish, but then I eat a huge amount of everything when I am at the club here because it all tastes so damned good...
...Then I go sit in my jacuzzi and watch the stars, then swim for a 58 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JUNE 2005long, long time in my pool, while I stare at the stars...
...The house has an immense living room, a huge breakfast room, well, I won't bore you with the details...
...This night, though, my wife is in the east visiting our son, so I am here just with my dogs...
...I have been wanting a house in the desert for a while now...
...To take a stand for human life above political correctness, above feminism, above the tenor of the day that life is often an inconvenience—what a hero...
...My two real estate brokers, Pat Bush Kruse and Alice Beckman Cannon, found me Morningside Country Club, a perfect little oasis of lovely modern homes with big windows facing the golf course, and after looking at maybe ten houses, I walked into this one, and it was love at first sight...
...I have a big thing in L.A...
...I like it and want to spend more time there inside my perfect little golf-swimming-pool-clubhouse globe...
...Here is a simple truth: humanity has been far better to me than I have been to humanity...
...I have to shout over the noise of a large, cheering audience and my voice is getting hoarse...
...But I think the Pope might have been the greatest man of the last 50 years...
...I looked for about two years, while the prices went up and up...
...He could be called home, but he could not be broken...
...Tonight, the food is superbly good and I am listening to a pianist playing old favorites by Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett as I eat my fish...
...Thank you that I have a wife who will come home tomorrow...
...But, wow, is it tiring...
...Now, the greatest man of the 20th century was Winston Churchill...
...I have a fireplace in my bedroom and I turn it on and also open the windows and feel the breeze blowing in from the pool and the golf course...
...The ocean is crashing against the breakers below my room, and I keep thinking that this Pope was as indomitable as the ocean...
...So, it's great...
Vol. 38 • June 2005 • No. 5
