THE CONTINUING CRISIS
Tyrrell, R. Emmett Jr.
THE CONTINUING CRISIS. Tyrrell, R. Emmett Jr With the expiry of February the re-election of President George W. Bush is now four months old, and still the Republicans...
...Kearns conceived of the intermittent windshield wiper on his wedding night after a champagne cork struck him in the eye...
...Larry Summers, hung on to his job tenaciously after creating a furor by publicly divulging statistical evidence that more men than woman rank in the highest tiers of scientific and mathematical achievement...
...Finally, what is proving to be the greatest celebrity trial since the impeachment of Boy Clinton has gotten underway in California...
...Ernest Hemingway, the famed gonzo journal The month witnessed the reckless spread of democracy throughout the Middle East-more Neoconservative madness...
...George Soros's public spiritedness...
...April 2005 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 11...
...His defense appears to be that for all of his public life he has surrounded himself with nitwits...
...He was 67...
...Summers in his recklessness referred to it in a public forum, Professor Nancy Hopkins rushed from the premises, fearing that she might have "blacked out or thrown up...
...Presumably he will provide the joint...
...Warner opined...
...THE C O N T I N U I N G C R I S I S R. E M M E T T T Y R R E L L, J R. With the expiry of February the re-election of President George W. Bush is now four months old, and still the Republicans gloat...
...Jada Pinkett Smith...
...She will contest the firing...
...Our debonair President, George W. Bush, ended the month in Old Europe where he visited its perfumed leaders in Brussels, Mainz, and Bratislava...
...ist shot himself to death in his kitchen...
...When Mr...
...Valentine's Day was celebrated throughout the civilized world, though it remains highly controversial in darkest Islam...
...I just did not know it was going to be like this...
...Whoever or whatever Jada Pinkett Smith might be, Smith roused the wrath of the Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, and Supporters (jocks...
...Warner is facing charges of criminally negligent homicide and the possibility of a volupt book contract...
...The month witnessed the reckless spread of democracy throughout the Middle East-more Neoconservative madness...
...Meanwhile at the original Fresno State University, Mrs...
...His bond has been set at $10 million, probably putting him out of the reach of even Mr...
...Soros, however, did donate $20,000 to the Lynne Stewart Defense Committee...
...In Iraq, official results from recent elections indicated that nearly 60 percent of the eligible electorate had cast ballots, despite 260 insurgent attacks on polling day by progressives hoping to bring peace to the region...
...Summers spent the month making amends and proving himself worthy of the Harvard presidency, reportedly by apologizing five times, taking his children to the movies, and eating fast food in public...
...Yannis Paulus-no relation to General Friedrich Paulus of Stalingrad fame-who is co-chair of the Harvard Foundation for Intercultural and Race Relations' Student Advisory Committee, has vowed to draft a letter "apologizing for any offense the show might have caused...
...In Tehran, Iran, Islamic law is being put to the test by a 36-year-old woman who is seeking a divorce from her husband because he has not bathed in over a year...
...He doesn't even wash his face when he wakes up in the morning...
...Stacy JohnsonKlein, the celebrated women's basketball coach, was fired for cadging painkillers from her beefy players, financial irregularities, and "dishonesty...
...Warner, 42, an ardent fan of the columnist Miss Molly Ivins, insists that her husband, an alcoholic, administered the enema himself so that his body might absorb the elixir rapidly and without leaving empty glasses around the house...
...Clinton...
...All are charges that the lady coach insists were made after she claimed to be the victim of gender discrimination and sexual harassment...
...In Saudi Arabia the country's religious police mobilized to confiscate red roses, red teddy bears, and all heart-shaped symbols...
...For the next half-century he fought practically every automobile maker in the world for alleged infringements on his patents...
...Stewart is the radical lawyer who was convicted on February 10 of aiding Islamic terrorists...
...Hunter S. Thompson's last effort to surpass the late Mr...
...Officials at the German Parliamentary building questioned the judgment of the German Postal Service after it delivered a card addressed 60 years ago to "Fiihrer Adolf Hitler, Reichstag, German Parliament, Berlin, Germany...
...My husband says he does not like water and does not want to take a shower...
...President Hosni Mubarak threatened elections in Egypt...
...He was known to measure blades of grass for neglect...
...At any rate, Mr...
...Said his wife, Anita, 32, somewhat of a mathematician, "I always knew that Hunter was going to die before me...
...and in Lebanon, where progressives blew a former anti-Syrian politician sky high, street demonstrations toppled the Syrian-backed government, opening the door to still more dangerously divisive elections...
...The Postal Service had stamped the envelope "readdressed because of faulty address...
...She had been at the gym when he sought happy dispatch...
...Now Mr...
...Alliance (BGLTSA) as well as the Harvard Foundation for Intercultural and Race Relations by making remarks on campus that were construed as "heteronormative" by members of the aforementioned idiotic groups...
...That this woman's husband is obviously training to be a mullah will make her divorce all the more difficult...
...In 1953 Mr...
...Bush breakfasted with Britain's Prime Minister Tony Blair and dined with French President Jacques Chirac, despite the fact that British researchers have found that France has the smelliest cheeses in the world and M. Chirac does not often change his socks...
...For women in Iran divorce is very difficult and available only for women who can prove that their husband has neglected them, become a drug addict, or hit them harder than is warranted...
...Michael Jackson, coiner of the term "doo doo feces," is charged with taking liberties with a minor...
...Along with visits to the European Union, and NATO headquarters, he held meetings with Russia's President Vladimir Putin and Germany's Chancellor Gerhard Schroder, who was sporting his trademark patent leather hairpiece...
...Only in Nepal were there signs of true progress...
...Apparently the evidence has been carefully withheld from the women faculty out of concern for their delicate conditions...
...There were also elections in Palestine and Saudi Arabia, where only men were allowed to vote though most at least dressed like women...
...And in a second imbroglio Harvard's embattled president, Mr...
...In Houston, Texas, Mrs...
...I did not want to make it difficult for his spirit...
...No one knows for sure what that emergency is, but it at least slowed this insane rush towards democracy and possible prosperity...
...There King Gyanendra staged an amazing coup and boldly dissolved the government after declaring a state of emergency...
...Robert 10 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR April 2005 THE C O N T I N U I N G C R I S I S Kearns, inventor of the intermittent windshield wiper...
...The month featured a freak outburst by some of the most distinguished members of the student body against Mr...
...The remarks were made at the university's February 26 Cultural Rhythms show, which is frequented by Harvard students on those nights when they are not sharpening up their bowling game or playing spin the bottle in their coed dorms...
...It turns out that he is a residential code compliance officer in Park City, Kansas, renowned for his scrupulosity...
...Worse they often put them next to bumper stickers that are palpably idiotic such as "Think GloballyAct Locally," "War Is Not The Answer," "Animals Are Not Ours To Eat," and "Osama bin Laden Is My Friend...
...Earlier in the month Sister Lucia, the last of the three Portuguese children to see the Virgin of Fatima in 1917, died in her convent, aged 97...
...Libertarians and other advocates of limited government everywhere felt redeemed when the depraved BTK killer was arrested near his Kansas home...
...The campaign might have been devised by his old boss, former President Bill Clinton, whose advice he has sought though Mr...
...Jada Pinkett Smith, or is it Mrs...
...It worked for Mr...
...In what appears to be Dr...
...Death claimed Mr...
...Tammy Jean Warner has denied those charges that she gave her husband a sherry enema...
...Endeavoring to humiliate the defeated Democrats they apparently continue to stick "Kerry-Edwards" bumper stickers on their neighbors' automobiles, usually choosing foreign-built automobiles and often gas-guzzling SUVs...
...That's the way he went out, and I'm sure that's the way he want ed to go out because he loved his enemas," the fey Mrs...
...This ridiculing of the Loyal Opposition has got to end...
...The faculty and staff of Harvard University continue their efforts to transform that venerable institution into the Fresno State University of the Ivy League...
...Summers has no interns and no bathroom attached to his office...
...Paulus is also encouraging concerned students to attend "a joint breakfast...
...The ABA will miss him...
Vol. 38 • April 2005 • No. 3
