LAST CALL: Clean Hands
Sauber, Hans
LAST CALL HANS SAUBER Clean Hands LET ME POINT OUT RIGHT AT THE START that I am not an "obsessive-compulsive": I do not scrub up to the elbows for a full five minutes after inadvertently...
...I have come to dread especially the Sign of Peace, the time when we interrupt the most solemn part of the Mass to say a friendly "howdy" to our neighbor, a handshake seemingly a required part of the ritual in the United States...
...found that 10 percent of women and 25 percent of men do not wash their hands after using a public restroom, and, worse perhaps, a mere third of adults wash their hands after sneezing...
...I would not throw away a pair of shoelaces because they came untied and touched a men's room floor...
...Well, to be honest, I might throw them away...
...ONE MIGHT EXPECT A RESPITE from this germ-laden environment away from the Monday through Friday workweek...
...LAST CALL HANS SAUBER Clean Hands LET ME POINT OUT RIGHT AT THE START that I am not an "obsessive-compulsive": I do not scrub up to the elbows for a full five minutes after inadvertently touching my living room rug...
...Likewise, "Could you please hand me an unlicked copy of the report...
...OK, I have been typing on my keyboard for a while now—time to wash up...
...Even so, I could not always escape the overzealous member of the congregation who would contort his body to reach his hand across several pews...
...I do not wear rubber gloves and a surgical mask on a daily basis...
...Nevertheless, I am deeply concerned about germs and their easy transmission through direct contact, which we humans have suspected since at least 1847, when the underappreciated Ignaz Semmelweis first ordered medical students at the Vienna General Hospital to wash their hands between performing autopsies and examining pregnant women...
...One risks being made a social pariah if one objects to the poor hygienic practices of others...
...A 2002 report by the University of Arizona found the typical worker's desk has 21,000 germs per square inch, compared to 49 germs per square inch on the typical office toilet seat...
...does not win friends and influence people at work...
...In our post-Vatican II age, there are several possible opportunities when germs can be had from your pew-mate through hand-to-hand contact...
...But I have found this not to be the case, and, unfortunately, one of the worst places of exposure to my infected brethren is at my local Catholic church...
...Throughout my working career, I have noted the carefree habits of my co-workers and business associates when it comes to basic hygienic practices...
...When forced to sit near other people, I would simply keep my hands clasped in prayer and politely nod and smile in greeting, but there were still those who would place a hand over my clasped ones...
...Genius...
...I see that Office Depot sells something called the "Acco Swing-line Gripeez Finger Pad" that seeks to do away with the need to lick one's digits on the job...
...Sorry, I don't shake hands," does not exactly ensure one's election to the parish council...
...STILL, IN THIS DAY OF ANTI-BACTERIAL SOAPS, hand lotions, and moist towelettes, when we know so much about germs, I am continually amazed at the lack of common sense anti-bacterial practices among 21st-century Americans...
...In years past, I would do my best to sit at least five pews away from my nearest co-religionist to avoid contact...
...Double-dipping—despite being brought to the public's attention by a famous episode of Seinfeldcontinues unabated, as does the licking of one's finger when distributing handouts at a meeting...
...Austria rightly put Semmelweis's picture on a postage stamp...
...Study after study in the last few years has emphasized the importance of hand washing in killing germs—the Centers for Disease Control recommends 15 to 20 seconds of vigorous scrubbing—and warned of the dangers in everyday environments, particularly the workplace...
...A newly released study conducted for the American Society of Microbiology and the Soap and Detergent Association (sign me up...
...82 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR DECEMBER 2005/JANUARY 2006 SARKES TARZIAN INC Sarkes Tarzian Television Sarkes Tarzian Radio Broadcasters Making a Difference...
...WHAT IS THE GERMOPHOBE TO DO...
...These results were not a surprise to the germ-conscious...
...Shortsighted bosses I have known encourage sick employees to come to work, though experts logically point out that in the long run this only results in additional lost work hours, as the sick employee makes his co-workers ill...
...We germophobes are left to do our best, to wash up frequently and suffer often in silence and fear...
Vol. 38 • December 2005 • No. 10
