BEN STEIN'S DIARY: Only the Lonely
Stein, Beniamin J.
BEN STEIN'S DIARY Only the Lonely by Benjamin J. Stein THURSDAY OOMING ALONG THE PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY with my trusty driver, Mr. Selim, and my pal, Judah, on our way up for me to speak at...
...First, we talked to some sponsors of our event on forecasting...
...Ted Olson SEC Chair Chris Cox Rep...
...Then we pulled over for a snack at the Santa Barbara Biltmore...
...Or, "Russia will pump a lot of oil and so will Canada and people will buy hybrids so oil will be $54 a barrel...
...Thanks so much for your good service...
...They have to get revenge and if it means using the grand jury to do it, they'll do it...
...I had enjoyed a simply spectacular dinner at their brother establishment, Tony's, last night...
...We (Judah and I) ate at a little outdoor cafe with the ocean a stone's throw away...
...To make reservations, call 800.843.6664 and receive the CPAC discounted rate of $185 ($155 for students...
...I just want to be at home in the paws of my Brigid...
...Hope for the future in a way...
...As in, "Retail spending looks strong and inflation pressures will abate so I think the long term bond will be at 5 percent in 12 months...
...Then I'm upset about oil stocks...
...Now, I am waiting for room service, and then, to beddy-bye...
...Hey, as I am writing this, I suddenly realize two things, one big and one small...
...And because the left simply cannot tolerate losing two elections in a row...
...I just got an immense bill from the IRS because I underestimated my 2004 taxes and this means a huge hit for 2005 as well...
...Why are they hated now...
...62 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR DECEMBER 2005/JANUARY 2006 „,,,vaamoge426.A.Oltitanv*0 thetionw45,48:01100.0mousoonownenon "It's smalland easy to use...
...A month ago, they were red hot...
...CPAC will feature book signings by the nation's leading conservative authors, live broadcasts of national and local radio talk shows, hands-on training sessions from grassroots activism to media stra- , Internet row and a blo ers corner, a silent auction, and much, much more...
...George Allen (VA) Sen...
...CPAC 2006 JOIN INVITED SPEAKERS & PANELISTS Vice President Dick Cheney • Hon...
...Then interviews with local press...
...It is a big company and its death knell tolls a whole new, sad day for the American worker...
...All of this happened on a Thursday...
...For no good reason...
...Then we went to scope out our auditorium...
...What's up with that...
...I am thrilled to bits with my hearing aid, it's an engineering marvel, how it can be made so small is absolutely amazing...
...Then a very fast lunch and then speeches of 15 minutes each by us panelists, and then Q&A from the audience for half an hour...
...Now, everyone hates them...
...IN MY HOTEL ROOM looking out at the rain on Broadway in St...
...I am sort of at a loss about her nomination...
...Then a long, long session with high school kids to talk about the economy...
...John Cornyn (TX) Bob Novak Ann Coulter Hon...
...He sneaked out of there sheepishly, but I still didn't like it...
...That bite means I have a lot less to invest for my future and my family's...
...Just a guess...
...He took me to a meeting of the Young Presidents, a group of staggeringly successful and cheerful young businessmen...
...Horrendous...
...It is no one's fault but my own...
...Bellerose, NY"I hear – No– I understand what I hear much better...
...I spoke to them for about an hour...
...The downtown of St...
...But how long will she be alone...
...I understand there I is no obligation & you provide FREE shipping...
...H. Kait — CA Our Customers Say it Best...
...How long will I be alone until my wife comes continued on page 62 60 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR DECEMBER 2005/JANUARY 2006 Join the Nation's Leaders CPAC 2006 • February 9 - 11, 2006 • Omni Shoreham Hotel • Washington, D.C...
...I spoke about how happy Martin Luther King would be if he could see the progress we've made and about how the military and police and firemen are the real stars, not those creeps Babs Streisand and Tim Robbins and Robert Altman...
...I think I'll just surrender all of it to God and go out and get dinner and then watch the baseball game...
...She was beautiful, smart, recently widowed, had great tales to tell about her time in Saigon in 1969, but I felt very sad for her...
...Newt Gingrich • Senator George Allen Ambassador John Bolton • Ann Coulter • Ken Mehlman • Wayne LaPierre Bob Novak • Grover Norquist and many more...
...Scary...
...The big thing is that I surrender all of this to God...
...Something is wrong here...
...She lost her husband only in March, and now she rattles around a large home all by herself...
...The small one is that the moment when Wall Street hates a stock is often a good time to buy it, so maybe I'll buy some oil stocks now for cashing out in 2014...
...I will pray for happy endings tonight...
...But the kids were friendly and extremely articulate...
...But where is my Brigid and is she thinking of me...
...THURSDAY t-TP AT 6 A.M...
...Louis is a sad, nondescript place, despite the amazingly friendly people here...
...CPAC is America's Largest Gathering of Conservatives CPAC 2005 Speakers Included: Vice President Dick Cheney Wayne LaPierre Sen...
...I can't control much...
...The assault on him by the prosecutor in the Valerie Wilson case is a purely political assault using the legal system to undo the last election...
...It went well...
...Then autographs, then back to my room to hear of yet another horrendous day on the stock markets...
...Randy Daniels (NY) Karl Rove Frm...
...Anyway, I am also upset because of Delphi's entry into bankruptcy...
...No dog, which is a colossal mistake, but she'll learn...
...No one ever even mentions it...
...Then, check out of the hotel, and a pickup by a fabulously successful young man in the private equity business...
...I mostly worried about my immense tax liability because I under-withheld...
...Henry Hyde (IL) Sen...
...Unless their kids go to law school or some other grad school, they are in real trouble...
...There are plenty of very smart lawyers and judges who did not go to Yale, and plenty of dopes who did go to Yale (or Harvard...
...I miss my wife and my dogs and my son...
...1/4 Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer in Beverly Hills and Malibu...
...I did get a huge overflow crowd, including Wlady's Mom who looked very cheery, and many ovations...
...That's the small thing...
...Judah was blushing because she was pretty...
...It's a perfectly decent room, but I am not enjoying myself...
...They were smart and talked just like Wall Street analysts which is to say: likely, plausible major premise, likely minor premise, then a conclusion that is a pure guess...
...The main thing is that I don't think she'll go along with those who think there is a constitutional right to kill the most innocent among us, the unborn...
...It is worrying me night and day...
...Not true at all...
...But it could ruin Karl's life, smear the President, and all because someone wanted to feel like a big shot...
...I hate it...
...It is a stone killer for workers and I feel badly for them...
...For one thing, I am lonely...
...Selim, and my pal, Judah, on our way up for me to speak at Wlady's alma mater, UC Santa Barbara...
...Who needs it for no money and long hours...
...Free trade is great for college professors and for consumers...
...Louis...
...It's all just guesses...
...I find joining my friends in conversations is much more comfortable...
...Clarence Cozart — NC C Hearn) 105 N. First St...
...I slept most of the way until we reached Montecito, a lavishly beautiful suburb of Santa Barbara...
...The streets were astoundingly empty despite their being home to a big playoff game tonight between the Cards and the Astros...
...Anthony's reopened their kitchen to serve me a late lunch, but I still felt lonely...
...There is so very, very little we know about how the economy works...
...He thinks I am going to be able to leave him so much he can live well without working...
...H.B...
...For myself, my true love wears a collar and has four feet...
...I have preached this to him so many times, and he never gets it...
...I am especially upset about a certain condescension towards her because she was not a major scholar and did not go to Yale...
...I hate taking money out of my savings to pay this tax...
...Paul Ryan Sec...
...Plus, I am terrified that Karl Rove is going to be indicted for some imaginary crime...
...Capt...
...Fitzgerald, the prosecutor...
...The low point was a heckler calling me a "fascist f--k," then running out of the room—by mistake for him,into a closet...
...F.F...
...John Sununu (NH) David Keene Swift Boat Veterans for Truth Registration Packages: Diamond Package $425 Gold Package $300 3-Day Conference Pass $125 Presidential Banquet $225 Reagan Banquet $200 Student Pass $25 AUe1I4dCPAC 2006 cwt.& viis-ft The,/ A nite41,ccuvv Spectator cikt,r1Aftwthe/ coniv4te4tze4 GENERAL INFORMATION Complete, detatch, and mail this form, along with your check or credit card information to: 33rd Annual CPAC 1007 Cameron Street Alexandria, VA 22314 Register by Phone: 800.752.4391 Fax: 703.836.8606 Registration Form Registration Package of Choice Name Name for Tag University (if applicable) Address City State Zip Home Phone Work Phone Email Address Hotel Information The 33rd Annual CPAC is being held Feb...
...Then, down on the ground and a limo ride to the Fairmont Hotel where I have a suite of about 4,000 square feet with a commanding city view and its own grand piano...
...I was darned impressed...
...Dore Gold Phyllis Schlafly Rep...
...CUSTOMER COMMENTS ON FILE - PRINTED WITH THEIR PERMISSION...
...They have great earnings, great assets...
...In the long run, they still look awfully good...
...I walked to lunch today at a fine place called Anthony's Bar...
...Again, no one's fault except my own, but I hate it...
...Louis...
...They served me maybe the best cannelloni I have ever had...
...I am so tired I feel like crying, but what do I have to complain about...
...Your company is easy to deal with...
...My companion was a lovely woman named Karen Goodman...
...Tom Coburn (OK) Grover Norquist Sen...
...Mr.Mrs.Ms IAddress City/State/Zip NMI MN NMI...
...Under any definition, I was stupid about it...
...Luckily, I have the money to pay it, but, wow, it is a big bite...
...Smooth sailing, moonlit night, stars as bright as light bulbs...
...These guys really have it all figured out...
...Thank you for making the comfortable, easy-to-use and affordable EarMate-4000...
...Life on the road has its points, and I get paid well for it, but I am lonely...
...I wonder how the heckler felt hearing that from his closet...
...How can I possibly control Wall Street or the oil patch or Mr...
...It stuns me, by the way, that we can get so upset about a thousand men and women dying in a hurricane—which is a bad thing for sure, even a terrible thing—and not bother to say a word about 4,000 totally innocent children getting killed every day in abortion mills...
...It's all like herding cats anyway...
...Which brings me to my son, who is definitely doing a lot better, but he really has no clue of how hard life is going to be for him unless he develops better habits...
...Zell Miller (GA) Sen...
...Pleasant, friendly people, largely policemen and all seemingly very exercised about Harriet Miers...
...She seems good to me, and I don't think she's a bit like Souter or Kennedy, but no matter what, she is our guy's choice and I think we should stick behind her...
...It was a great flight...
...Col...
...Nothing...
...But I think Harriet Miers might put a slowdown on it...
...Then off to a small airport to fly in a Cessna Citation to Midway airport in Chicago...
...Speaker Newt Gingrich (GA) Sen...
...Then off to a gathering of Republicans at a private home...
...WEDNESDAY 'ERE I AM IN MY HOTEL ROOM in St...
...9-11, 2006 at the Omni Shoreham Hotel...
...Alternative Student Hotel: Days Inn, reservations: 202.244.5600 BEN STEIN'S DIARY back from taking care of Tommy...
...I really am lonely...
...DeKalb, 60 5 "The two EarMate-4000's have brightened my life tremendously...
...I am just one little human being...
...INDIVIDUAL RESULTS MAY VARY...
...Then, breakfast, getting shaved and dressed, checking e-mail, then out the door to meet my fellow panelists for a long day...
...Mitch McConnell (KY) Pat Buchanan RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman Herman Cain Sen...
...NY "I find it just as good as the one I purchased through my audiologist for $1,200...
...We got very lost but finally found it down a long, long, long private road...
...Rick Santorum (PA) Amb...
...Please rush me free information on I the EarMatem4-4000 hearing aid...
...Off to the campus of UCSB to speak...
...WI YES...
...How insane it is of me to even try...
...Colin Mills – AZ R. Howell – OH Hearing Help ExpresslM 105 North First St., Dept 53-525 DeKalb, IL 60115-0586 www.HearingHelpExpress.com/53525 Free Shipping...
...In fact, I am not happy at all...
...I really think I could be governor or senator, but who wants to be yelled at, mocked, criticized, have his di laundry hauled out into the open...
...By total chance, a lovely young woman seated next to us was a pal ofJudah's from L.A., so we sat and talked to her under the sunny skies with the ocean in the background...
...I cannot control my sleeping or my eating or my digestion...
Vol. 38 • December 2005 • No. 10
