THE CONTINUING CRISIS
THE CONTINUING CRISIS R. EMMETT TYRRELL, JR. Summer slipped away, as did Senator Jean-Francois Kerry's lead over our suave President. Possibly the defining issue was windsurfing. Late in August...
...We have all heard of Compassionate Conservatism...
...Late in August the Republicans held their national convention in our Nation's Apple...
...All of which suggests that golfing across foreign lands could not only win America respect in the world but also gain a Democratic administration valuable intelligence...
...Actually, the Parisians had gotten along very pleasantly with their conquerors...
...The more the electorate sees of the Massachusetts Braggart the more it is repulsed...
...She has been kept very busy on the campaign trail shoring up the Democratic base, particularly among the Democrats' newest aggrieved constituency, People Born Without Belly Buttons (PBWBB...
...Richard G. Butler, 86, founder of the Aryan Nations...
...Words have no meaning, nor does meaning...
...And voters who might wonder what Mrs...
...Then he knocked off the "regular-guy" stuff and took in dinner with Madame T. Heinz Kerry, running up a $400 bill (tip excluded...
...Thousands of French observed the sixtieth anniversary of Paris' liberation on August 25 with emphasis on the French forces' heroic participation rather than that of the Americans, British and Canadians, all of whom were busy in the un-French business of killing Nazis...
...According to the authoritative Washington THE CONTINUING CRISIS Times, Mr...
...She herself is a life-long member of this group, and in an era when fashion calls for bare midriffs wardrobe decisions are not easy...
...In Lowell, Massachusetts, Mr...
...All these heroes have fallen on President George W. Bush for serving or not serving or poorly serving in the Texas Air National Guard thirty-five years ago when he could have served with them in exuberantly killing gooks in Southeast Asia or years earlier, krauts, or, earlier still, Arapahos or Navajos, back in the days when waging war was the beau ideal of every progressive...
...Possibly he is again mulling over the moral questions posed to a good Muslim by carrying a vibrating cell phone too close to his privates...
...Kushner, "the activist playwright," is the author of Save Your Democratic Soul...
...Butler's organization taught that "whites are the true children of God, that Jews are the offspring of Satan and that blacks and other minorities are inferior...
...Wheeler passed away en route to hospital...
...And another point made months ago—he is actually achieving the hitherto inconceivable effect of transforming military service into a joke line...
...New Jersey Governor James E. McGreevey's approval rating rose two points after he announced that he was being blackmailed for an adulterous affair he was conducting with an Israeli poofter—psephologists call it the Clinton effect...
...CBS's Mr...
...At the time of his death he held no known faculty positions at any major American university...
...emergency room complaining of a carrot that had become lodged in her anus...
...Said Mr...
...Tolme, "I can identify sheep dung, cow dung, and camel dung...
...Think of it...
...As the Republicans cooed and bellowed about the Bush Glory, Boy Kerry grimly windsurfed before the assembled camera crews, his body encased in thrilling spandex...
...Heinz Kerry has in mind with the Department of Wellness she foresees for a Kerry administration were assisted by revelations from Professor Ratree Cheepudomwit of the Thai Traditional and Alternative Medicine Development Department...
...and various members of the Democratic congressional contingent, many of whose sex lives perhaps inspired the nocturnal hijinks at sexyAbu Ghraib Prison...
...Yet, this form of draft dodging is to be deplored...
...Rants, Screeds, and Other Public Utterances for Midnight in the Republic...
...He did it in 12,170 strokes, covering over 1,000 miles...
...Dan Rather, who accompanied Colonel Theodore Roosevelt in the charge up San Juan Hill...
...police are still investigating the denials of an unnamed woman that she was the victim of sexual abuse...
...In August, some 250 of Senator Kerry's fellow Swift Boat veterans adjudged the senator's service in Vietnam a con job, and the venerable Times of New York branded them carriers of "unsubstantiated charges...
...The political party that in 1992 made a draft dodger the president of the United States is 8 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR OCTOBER 2004 now making service in the National Guard a form of draft dodging...
...Tony Kushner's first Broadway musical when he stripped to the buff, ran through a restaurant stabbing himself with a pen, and inserted a finger into a live electrical socket...
...Rick James, 56, the legendary funk singer idolized for his classic "Super Freak" passed away quietly in his sleep as did Mr...
...whereupon the improbable couple, hand-in-hand, waltzed down the Nantucket streets, holding up traffic and losing still more votes...
...When questioned as to how, perchance, that carrot entered her person, the patient explained that her pressure cooker exploded while she was preparing a "pot roast...
...It also ignored large numbers of London subway riders whose smelly feet often smell like aging Dover sole and are not nearly so flavorous...
...A:OCTOBER 2004 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 9...
...William Kennedy Smith, the sleepy-eyed head of something called the Center for International Rehabilitation, has been accused of rape again, and this time his uncle, Senator Edward Kennedy, is not even implicated in supplying the fire water...
...Terry McAuliffe, holder of four Silver Stars, a knighthood, and three pigs knuckles...
...Muqtada al-Sadr, negotiated an armistice and returned to his prayer chamber to continue his spiritual deliberations...
...The woman showed up at a D.C...
...Andre Tolme, the New Hampshire idealist who has won worldwide admiration by golfing across Mongolia...
...In Washington, D.C...
...including for example reduction of dandruff, grey hair, sinus problems and cancer...
...According to Professor Cheepudomwit, a cup of urine imbibed on a daily basis can have "head-to-toe benefits...
...American voters confused as to precisely what the Democratic Party's foreign policy alternative is to the Bush administration's "unilateralism" were provided a hint by Mr...
...Richard Wheeler, 33, provided prodigious inspiration for Mr...
...I know which places have more yaks than cows and which places have more cows than yaks...
...Now we have Windsurfing Liberalism, and on still waters Senator Kerry supplies his own wind...
...In this he has been assisted by Democratic Chairman Mr...
...In Najaf, Iraq, the dirty-necked paladins of the "Mandi Army" headed for the showers or a favored garbage pail after their leader, the Rev...
...London's "Smelly Food" campaign provoked a harsh diplomatic response from the government of Italy...
...California's Supreme Court voided thousands of same-sex marriages, and in Blacksville, West Virginia, a man suffered bodily injury after he dropped a lit cigarette into a portable toilet, igniting the latent methane that naturally accumulates in such devices...
...The campaign, urging riders in the London Underground to desist from eating "smelly foods," focused on Parma hams, salamis, and strings of garlic, conveyed, according to Rome, an "offensive" caricature of the "Italian image...
...This campaign is going precisely as AmSpec predicted months ago...
...Whether First Lady Heinz Kerry will make urine drinking mandatory for the American citizenry remains unclear...
Vol. 37 • October 2004 • No. 8
