BEN STEIN'S DIARY: Coming Clean
Stein, Benjamin J.
Coming Clean by Benjamin J. Stein WEDNESDAY ERE I AM IN CHICAGO. It is a cloudy, slightly drizzly day, and I am on an endlessly long walk with my old comrade in arms, John R. Coyne, Jr. He,...
...Two large bedrooms, kitchen, dining room, bar, study, immense living room...
...Nixon and Mr...
...I was lonely...
...I went downstairs to give my speech...
...I have known many fine women (well, not that many), but the only woman I have ever wanted to spend eternity with is Alex...
...He doesn't pay the military anywhere near enough...
...They are my people...
...SUNDAY S PEAKING OF BLESSINGS, I got four phone calls from our son today...
...But I did give it, and as always, I put in my true feelings about Bush, namely, that he is the best friend the Jewish people have ever had...
...I think about my wife a lot on Memorial Day Weekend because her family are such brave soldiers...
...We like to talk about Nixon, about Bush, about politics, about love and money and friendship...
...She does have strong feelings about liberals...
...His ideas are always helpful and filled with insight...
...Very lonely...
...I asked Alex if I could have Ginger and after only a moment of hesitation, she gave me Ginger...
...I think he made terrible mistakes in Iraq...
...There is a guest book and shortly before me appear the names of Bill and Hillary, although separated by a few months I would say...
...They do rehabilitation work with Jews blown up by Arafat's murderers in Israel...
...He won the Vietnam one when he was in his forties...
...He fought in freezing cold in Germany, in broiling heat in Vietnam...
...They help poor Jews and out of work Jews in Chicagoland...
...He listens with a kind of "warm empathy," as my father once described my way of listening...
...It is sort of as if FDR, himself no great shakes as commander in chief, refused to have a defense buildup after Pearl Harbor...
...We are all operating in a dome of crystalline love of God...
...But John is jovial and philosophical about it...
...I know I am a bit repetitive here, but cop to it...
...He has improved dramatically...
...Alex had three dogs, but her favorite was Ginger, another incredibly sweet GSP...
...I decided to drop out for a year...
...Ford...
...I am a HIGHLY FLAWED HUMAN BEING MORALLY AND INTELLECTUALLY...
...When I finished, I got great response and a number of people hugged me and told me how much they loved me and far beyond that, they told me that they loved Bush...
...He had mono this spring and bore it with grace and fortitude...
...Or, sort of like my other favorite woman, Julie Eisenhower...
...It meant I would see Alex, who BEN STEIN'S DIARY was nearby at Vassar, a lot less...
...It is crystal clear to me that GWB is the best option...
...What I do have is gratitude to God for forgiving me and giving me Alex anyway...
...Coming Clean by Benjamin J. Stein WEDNESDAY ERE I AM IN CHICAGO...
...So, too, in war...
...Beyond fabulous...
...He is as modest as they make 'em and he never brags, but he is an amazingly impressive man...
...They help poor Jews in Russia...
...He needs to replace Rumsfeld¡ªnot because of the prison scandals, which are not a huge deal in historical terms, but because Rumsfeld refuses to have the troop buildup and defense force buildup we need...
...I had extreme anxiety and illness due to being very improperly medicated by the Yale Clinic, and became very thin and weak...
...THIS WRITER HAS AS MANY FLAWS AS BILL CLINTON AND IN MANY OF THE SAME AREAS...
...And Bush is really my guy...
...He spent his birthday in Vietnam pretending to be a coolie working in a rice paddy to ambush Vietcong...
...She is a SAINT...
...These really are blessings indeed...
...As I say, a pure gift from God...
...Totally devoted to Eretz Israel, utterly without a shred of prejudice...
...Plus, he is doing well in Latin and math...
...Veterans, wives, children, America, Bush: all gifts we don't deserve...
...Will the public get it...
...I don't do a lot of things I should do...
...I can hardly tell you how many men and women came up to me and told me how they were going to vote GOP for the first time in their lives...
...I don't treat my wife as well as I should,although she does live like a queen with a lot of space, jewelry, and servants, but she deserves a crown in heaven (as her mother used to say about putting up with the teenage Alex) for putting up with me...
...He agreed it was...
...Next stop, Williams College, if God is willing...
...That same sweetness...
...They help the newly impoverished Jews of Argentina...
...I did have my beautiful Trixie, the most adorable German short-haired pointer there ever was, but then Trixie entered immortality and I was totally bereft...
...Last night we ate at my favorite restaurant in the Midwest, Ben Pao, and tonight we ate at the same place...
...Now, here comes the ultimate in generosity of spirit, the absolute last word: for a few years in the late '80s, I lived mostly at our place in Malibu while Alex lived in town...
...I brought it on myself, to be sure, by being so weak and generous whenever women ask for money...
...In life, we always weigh imperfect options...
...If Jews had any sense at all, we would vote GOP 100 percent...
...I could go on...
...Her father said simply, "We're so glad to have you back in our family...
...She did not complain at all and moved heaven and earth to come see me in D.C...
...But he is so far superior to his nutty opposition there is no comparison...
...My life is all about being a human being with human faults but with divine forgiveness operating in my life night and day...
...You can hardly believe what a suite it is...
...i4...
...Is that a good answer...
...That same beauty...
...No Democrat except Lieberman comes even close to Bush's support of Israel...
...My wifey, Alex, is just as brave...
...She does not even know the word "petty...
...No excuses...
...Anyway, John and I went for our walk, and then I got ready in my lavish suite at the Chicago Hilton and Towers for a speech...
...He fought with pneumonia, with pain, with fatigue, with hunger...
...SATURDAY ET US NOW PRAISE the finest 1 human being on this earth, / my wife...
...I think I'll enclose a photo of her so you can see what I am talking about...
...The latest demands¡ªunsupported by anything except plays on my sympathy and general feelings of guilt and weakness¡ªare enough to support a whole county in some poor state...
...So, as I watch the aging veterans and cry, I am mindful of the blessing of each of them, the unmixed blessing of God's gift of these brave men and women, the gift of my parents, of Alex, of the great son I have, of my fine dog...
...I believe this shows the most generous spirit in the history of mankind...
...I am hoping some of them will still love me after I am murdered by one of these women because I did not give her all of the money she wanted...
...He is still brave and still modest...
...If they are as fired up as the people at the JUF, they'll get it...
...We were friendly but not really living together...
...It makes total sense and I love it...
...Anyway, to say I don't deserve her is to put it very mildly...
...This is a sort of DISCLAIMER...
...His brother, Bob, was incredibly brave in Korea...
...But now it has reached a torrent and it cannot go on much longer...
...and in New York...
...I now believe Ben Pao has the best Chinese food I know of...
...This is the friend of the Chosen People that we have always wanted and needed...
...Caution: God's love at work...
...Let me put it this way so you can understand it perfectly: she just got her hair cut short and when she lies in bed next to me reading, she looks just like Laura Bush, my idea of the best First Lady of the past 30 years...
...As I have said many times, her father won two Silver Stars, one in Vietnam and one in Germany...
...A very dear friend and smart woman, Victoria Sackett, once said to me, "Friends are the family we choose for ourselves...
...After we got divorced in 1974, she took me back and we embarked on married life again, and she never held our divorce against me...
...Before I went on, there was a short film made by the Chicago Jewish United Fund about their activities...
...When they got to the part about the Israeli child learning to swim and then to walk again after one of Kofi Annan's pals had blown off one of his legs on a bus, I was sobbing so hard I did not think I could give my speech...
...And Tommy and Barron and Steve and Al and Phil and Sid and Brigid...
...I am so blessed in my friends: Barron Thomas, Steve Gage, Al Burton, Phil DeMuth (brother of the redoubtable Chris DeMuth), Michael Chinich, DeAnne Barkley, Paul Hyman, Wlady Pleszczynski, Julie and David Eisenhower, Linda Alice Fairstein...
...She just radiates a saintly beauty, just like Laura Bush...
...Do not miss it if you are in Chicago...
...But not for a couple of years...
...Alex never gets angry...
...Luckily, they never showed up...
...But then again, John Coyne and Aram are also my people...
...Ben Stein is a writer, actor, lawyer, and economist in Beverly Hills and Malibu...
...He even did some homework while sick...
...There are few conversationalists in his class...
...No complaining...
...I love speaking to Jewish groups...
...No candidate at all comes even remotely close to his total lack of racism...
...He wanted money...
...He, Aram Bakshian, and I all occupied a suite of offices at the Old Executive Office Building next to the White House when I was a speechwriter for Mr...
...She puts up with me, which takes courage, a sense of humor, endless patience, and a great deal of love...
...Anyway, I felt great and totally loved the JUF...
...That is, when we were separated, with her having a certain amount of righteous indignation about my behavior with bad girls, she still gave me her favorite dog to keep at our house in Malibu with me...
...John and I have stayed in close touch ever since (as I have with Aram...
...True, he is stronger than The Hulk, but he is still our little boy...
...His tax cuts are far too big...
...I am consoled by my father's incredible words of wisdom when asked about the endless trade deficit: "If a thing cannot go on forever, it will stop...
...He is still young, still our little boy...
...Anyway, we're talking about all of the women in my life who are playing Win Ben Stein's Money...
...And he was a star in wrestling and football...
...I said, "However much you want, you've got it...
...I'll just give you a few examples: ? When we were first dating, I was a student at Yale Law School...
...Never gets bitter with me...
Vol. 37 • July 2004 • No. 6
