THE CONTINUING CRISIS
THE COIATINUING CRISIS R. EMMETT TYRRELL, JR. April witnessed a sufficient number of setbacks in Iraq to provoke Senator Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts to rumble that Iraq has become President...
...A longtime smoker, Mr...
...Birdwatching may not be so tedious after all...
...Malachi York, 58, and the church's "master teacher," was sentenced to 135 years in the hoosegow for child molestation (both male and female...
...Franken be the next to go...
...Thom Gunn, the 1993 MacArthur "Genius" fellow who dropped out of the Movement, a celebrated English poetry circle, to poetize such unlikely topics as LSD, panhandling, and pederasty...
...Cologne and mouthwash could be next...
...Cullman was 92 when he passed away and might be alive today had he not discontinued smoking in his last years...
...We asked him to wash his clothes and even sent him letters," laments Vierssem, but all for naught...
...Yet students of French politics now argue that the report is a hoax, intended to embarrass M. Chirac by misrepresenting him as being dangerously proactive rather than the suave, sophisticate he truly is...
...Benestad?—who by the way is a transvestite...
...Environmentalists in Taiwan suffered grave embarrassment when a famed wetland on the grounds of Kunkuan Elementary School that had just received a large grant to enlarge its butterfly collection was revealed to be not awetland at all but the result of a leaking water pipe...
...They left only the stump," which, presumably, will keep SchiederSchwalenberg's canines happy...
...Allegedly the Alert is France's third highest just below "Surrender...
...Also arrested were Mr...
...As thousands of British birdwatchers assembled in Grimsby, England, to witness the arrival of a rare American robin, a passing sparrowhawk, distracted by the robin's brilliant scarlet breast, swooped down and ate it...
...Muqtada al- Sadr...
...Not only did the offending swimmer eschew Holland's popular colognes, which smell vaguely like peppered German sausage and drive Dutch damsels unto the raptures, but he did not even use soap or deodorant...
...Could Mr...
...Abdel Aziz Rantisi...
...Actually for the cad from Massachusetts to encourage Americans to reflect back on 1960s history is quite reckless given his blemished history...
...Time to interview the guys and gals of the redoubtable 372nd, eh, Dr...
...At the end of April Serbian officials in Belgrade reported that 600 monkeys had disappeared from a consignment shipped in from Tanzania...
...He was 74, but looked much older...
...to "Run...
...is in doubt...
...Of course Teddy is not as svelte as Miss Fonda, for he has never been an adept of fad diets...
...But where does one go after Air America...
...and racketeering...
...Rush Limbaugh and Mr...
...Brock's exertions is Mr...
...In golfing news, the US...
...Mike Wardrop's German Shepherd, Libby, had 28 golf balls removed from her stomach...
...A major supporter of Mr...
...Nor are American THE CONTI UING CRISIS birdwatchers that much different...
...An Israeli helicopter armed with missiles left another opening at the top of the Islamofascist organization, Hamas, when its crew spotted Mr...
...Masters was won by Mr...
...Possibly by summer he will fly off to Falluj a to be photographed on a burned out Humvee or visit Najaf to confer with the scowling Muslim cleric, the Rev...
...In the German metropolis of SchiederSchwalenberg, Greens were disconsolate after a city work crew mistakenly felled one of the country's most elderly trees, mistaking it for a five-year-old ash...
...Who doubts a government grant or two found their way into the collection plate...
...Apparently the American Episcopal Church is not the only American denomination caught in doctrinal turbulence...
...They might come across news reports of a Massachusetts senator leaving a girl to drown in his car while he slept off a drunk and later dialing up his high-powered advisers for urgent public relations counsel...
...Benestad, a doctor and photographer, is compiling a book of photographs to exhibit the abundant variety in Norwegian penises...
...Theywere like animals...
...Phil Mickelson, unhindered by the rebarbative Martha Burk and her aging feminist killjoys...
...From Norway comes news that the oddly named Mr...
...Having become so historically minded Teddy went on to call President Bush our era's Richard Nixon...
...In Madison, Wisconsin, the City Council voted to make that city the 72nd in these United States to ban smoking in most public places...
...The United Nuwabian Nation of Moors was thrown into tumult after its highest cleric, the Rev...
...Democrats are giving former journalist Mr...
...The gawkers were charged with disturbing the peace and various infractions of the locale's cockfighting code...
...Holland's Greens can be very unreasonable—as can American hypochondriacs...
...He never jogged...
...They might also find stories of that same senator boozing with his young nephews before their carousals ended in a rape charge...
...The church's 476-acre Vatican City located in rural Georgia is on the blocks, including its pyramids and a sphinx all bought in the mid-1990s when progressives had such hope for the New York-born swami...
...Al Franken's foundering career as a comic and to overwhelm Mr...
...David Brock $2 million to establish a "not-for-profit progressive research and information center" to monitor conservative error in the media...
...In April it lost its chairman, vice chairman, founding CEO, and head of programming...
...Esben Esther Pirelli Benestad is going to provide mucho reading material for members of America's 372nd Military Police Company from Cresaptown, Maryland, whose service at Iraq's Abu Ghraib Prison has proved so controversial...
...That Internet report claiming French President Jacques Chirac raised his country's Terror Alert in April from "Hide...
...Death claimed Mr...
...James C. Hormel, the sausage king whose appointment as ambassador to Luxembourg was questioned by conservative members of Congress worried about his moral influence on the tiny European principality...
...Nor was this the only news from the links...
...In Winder, Georgia, a smaller but equally keen group of birders gathered near the mobile home on Mr...
...He is the second Hamas leader to vaporize in as many months, which at least demonstrates to young upwardly mobile Hamasiacs that there is opportunity for promotion in the organization as long as Hamas's leaders advocate "Death to Israel...
...Sean Hannity, is taking on water...
...If this is so, the silver-haired Senator bids fare to become Mr...
...Finally Air America, the left-wing radio network founded to save Mr...
...Larry Flemming's 11-acre country estate were actually arrested...
...David Brock $2 million to establish a "notfor-profit progressive research and information center" to monitor conservative error in the media...
...and "Collaborate...
...Bush's Jane Fonda...
...April witnessed a sufficient number of setbacks in Iraq to provoke Senator Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts to rumble that Iraq has become President George W. Bush's Vietnam...
...Joseph F. Cullman, the tobacconist who discovered the Marlboro Man and took Philip Morris from being the least profitable American tobacco company to being the premier tobacconist to the world...
...In Rozenburg, Holland, a 66-year-old Green, who has apparently been active in Europe's anti-fragrance movement, will no longer be allowed to use the public swimming pool...
...In Manchester, England, Mr...
...Living a much longer life and of markedly greater benefit to the commonweal was Mr...
...Wardrop can keep the slightly corroded balls but he can no longer walk his carnivore near the putting greens of nearby Disbury Golf club without a muzzle...
...Moreover, an aerobics regimen could impair his precarious health...
...Nonetheless, Teddy probably is becoming the Fonda of our time...
...Peter van Vierssem, manager of the De Zeehond baths...
...JUNE 2004 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 11...
...During my 18 years as a sexologist," asseverates Dr...
...Democrats are giving former journalist Mr...
...Other indelicacies have followed in Senator Kennedy's long career as a moralizing immoralist...
...There may be more ethnic unrest brewing in the Balkans...
...Fleming and his wife, Misty...
...The smell was unbearable," attests Mr...
...It was a massacre," reported an eyewitness...
...Benestad, "I have answered all kinds of questions relating to penises...
...The 10 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JUNE 2004 venerable arbor, a 500-year-old oak that has been an inspiration to generations of German naturalist painters and a comfort to passing male dogs, was being crowded by the ash, and authorities ordered the latter removed without realizing that the municipality's moronic work crew could not recognize their ash from an oak in the ground...
Vol. 37 • June 2004 • No. 5
