The Continuing Crisis
Tyrrell, R. Emmett Jr.
"The Continuing Crisis" FROM LATE SPRING THROUGH SUMMER, tensions remained electric in the Middle East, and it cannot have gone over well with the Palestinians when they heard that some very smart Israelis at...
...Dick Morris shed so much light on the Clinton administration, a Rhode Island man has been charged with licking the pedals of two lady shoppers at a public market...
...In American judicial news, a California federal appeals court banned school children from reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in the school room while leaving open the question of whether they are in breach of the Constitution on the playground when they shout "God damn it...
...ment, Dr...
...Sunbono has been sentenced to five years in the calaboose...
...GEORGE GILDER RETURNED The American Spectator to the foundation that has published it since 1967, and fighting broke out in Madagascar between the followers of the country's two president's, Mr...
...and it cannot have escaped their notice that all its products can be worn clandestinely under a sheik's robes...
...Steyn, and continue to monitor the audiotapes broadcast from al-Jazeera, the former exercise salon, now turned into a state-of-the-art television station using only Islamic technology purchased from the world's only colony of Japanese Muslims...
...The birds will need no plucking whatsoever and can go directly from the chicken coop to the broiler, saving Israeli eateries the expense of the messy plucking process...
...Marc Ravalomanana and Mr...
...The store, known for its sensual, expensive and quite uncomfortable collections of lacy bras, frilly garters and G-strings, has been making London's Islamic religious leaders uneasy ever since it opened...
...School vouchers were approved by the Supreme Court, and in Houston, Texas, Judge Lee Rosenthal found that a former ambulance driver, Mr...
...Sam Donaldson as host of ABC's This Fleck, owing in part to his musky good looks and to his proven capacity, while in the Clinton White House, to deceive the press...
...Joe Corre, Agent Provocateur's callipygian founder, "The very nature of the designs, being so distinctive, renders them instantly recognizable, making it easier to track the thieves down"—not if they are being worn by the sheiks of Araby, Mr...
...MORE EVIDENCE OF THE SPREAD of Islamic fundamentalism in Europe—$40,000 worth of women's unmentionables were stolen from London's tony lingerie boutique, Agent Provocateur...
...So, let us cut out these tasteless jokes, Mr...
...I think we can all agree that Mr...
...Mike, Thailand's celebrity orangutan...
...Not to be outdone, watch for Palestinian scientists to announce the development of a chicken composed solely of feathers and of great economic potential for the Palestinians' powerful pillow industry...
...The hunt for bin Laden contini 8 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR • JULY/AUGUST 2002 DING CRISIS Entwistle, who was 57, died of a simple heart attack—though his death was not unexpected...
...Joycelyn Elders' national masturbation moves anyone checked Hollywood...
...Two days after Mr...
...Death also claimed the life of Mr...
...Abby" had turned Mr.Weiser over to authorities after he artlessly sought her counsel as to how he might best ameliorate his reveries about sleeping with children...
...Morris or the receding Clinton administration—how it is missed, particularly by the remnants of al Qaeda, Taliban and the Republican National Committee...
...Weiser's guilty plea, "Abby's" sister, syndicated columnist Miss Ann Landers, died of natural causes...
...Didier Ratsiraka, even after Mr...
...Wesley claimed that he was fired because he is a gentleman of color, but according to Judge Rosenthal's finding, dough-nuts have nothing to do with race...
...After the snakes were returned to their owner the nearby Tampa Tribune reported, "They're slithering in joy" and the thief might well be on his way to Camp X-Ray...
...George Stephanopoulos has been named to replace Miss Cokie Roberts and Mr...
...Steyn's case would be more compelling were he not to indulge in his sophomoric jokes about the Reverend Osama's unfortunate anatomical shortages, which had caused the Saudi holy man to grow his exuberant beard in the first place...
...We shall report later as to any connection he might have with Mr...
...He grew it so that while taking a shower he could follow the Koran's strictures against looking down on the unemployed...
...Who doubts that some day Americans will accord the same honors to Madonna...
...Zilbergeld wrote Male Sexuality, recently described in The New York Times as "the first book to really deal with male sexual problems in a self-help fashion...
...Zilbergeld was a native of Freehold, New Jersey...
...Peters-burg, Florida, heightened homeland security vigilance provoked a local cabdriver to report a passenger wearing what appeared to be an undulating sports shirt.When police apprehended the man they discovered that he was carrying two stolen cell phones, a sword, a cheap hand-bag, and under that sport shirt—three Silonian milk snakes—all stolen...
...In the 1990s Mr...
...In Bangkok, Thailand, thousands of Buddhists joined with animal rights visionaries to take part in Buddhist funeral rites for Mr...
...What about "the people's right to know," eh, Senator...
...MARK STEYN, the influential Canadian journalist living in New Hampshire, continues his lewd campaign to refute claims that the Reverend Osama bin Laden is alive and feasting on yogurt at a dialysis spa in the Afghan resort of Greater Kandahar...
...But something about his demeanor aroused their wrath...
...Steyn writes that Canadian troops "exhumed every corpse in an al Qaeda cemetery near Kandahar and, failing to find a body with a very long beard and a very short penis [sic], concluded that Osama had gotten away...
...She was 83...
...Former President Bill Clinton took receipt of a new chocolate Labrador retriever without a murmur of protest sounding from the Anti-Cruelty Society or even the sterner types in the animal rights movement...
...Initially, the women did not complain, for they apparently believed the gentleman to be a member of the supermarket's very sophisticated staff...
...Though his name has not been released, perhaps out of deference to his family or his podiatrist, the 34-year-old gentleman apparently was accused of licking two women's feet at Woonsocket, Rhode Island's fashionable Shaw's Supermarket...
...Ratsiraka flew to France with his family and the fabulous Ratsiraka fortune, which he keeps in a sock...
...FINALLY, IN AN UPDATE on another of those foot fetish reports that have echoed though this column for years and in the case of Mr...
...Police continue to investigate...
...Donce Sunbono's illegal penis-enlarging clinic, possibly out of fear for the safety of Indonesian maidens and livestock...
...And where did you get that ornate Rolex...
...Bernie Zilbergeld, the expert on male sexuality who in 1978 .argued that the male sex drive is not unlike a finely-tuned Stradivarius (albeit less wooden), died, aged 62.A forerunner to Surgeon General Dr...
...THE CONTIN FROM LATE SPRING THROUGH SUMMER, tensions remained electric in the Middle East, and it cannot have gone over well with the Palestinians when they heard that some very smart Israelis at Hebrew University have developed a featherless chick-en for Israel's powerful poultry industry...
...Larry Wesley, was properly fired after he interrupted an ambulance run to stop by a doughnut shop for a fillip of cholesterol...
...Paul Weiser, 28, pled guilty to possessing child pornography three months after his "Dear Abby" letter to columnist Jeanne Phillips led to his arrest...
...It will be remembered by those with a sense of history that Mr...
...RET JULY/AUGUST 2002 • THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 9...
...In Jayapura, Indonesia, authorities have shut down Mr...
...THE AMERICAN ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH continued to suffer revelations throughout the early summer that a surprising number of its priests could not serve as Boy Scout leaders...
...John Entwistle, bass player for the Who, on the day before the aging rock group was to begin its latest American tour in Las Vegas, Nevada...
...Three decades ago the Who achieved fame for its song My Generation, with its line "Hope I die before I get old...
...They complained to the polizia and the wretch was apprehended...
...In the London Spectator Mr...
...Commented Mr...
...Senator Robert Torricelli, the diminutive New Jersey heir to convicted Abscam figure Senator Harrison Williams, entered a strong protest against prosecutors' plans to unseal court documents related to their five-year investigation of his peculiar campaign and personal finances...
...In St...
...He had, at one point, 10 look-alikes to confuse the Americans, but, of course, even the most convincing doppelganger would be unlikely to match Osama's unusual deficiencies in the trouser department...
...IN MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN, Mr...
...and Socks, the family feline, was abandoned to one of the Clintons' former aides after years of neglect both in the White House and on Martha's Vineyard...
...Clinton's last two dogs have died violently...
...Entwistle's own band was named Rigor Mortis...
Vol. 35 • July 2002 • No. 4
