The Continuing Crisis
Tyrrell, R. Emmett
"AUTUMN IN NEW YORK" this year was truly "mingled with pain"as the songwriter once observed. Islamic hyenas crashed two hijacked commercial jets into the World Trade Center. Some thirty minutes...
...Swaziland, a small mountain country in southeast Africa, is often referred to by African sophisticates as the Switzerland of the Dark Continent, though the skiing is terrible...
...In Des Moines, Iowa, Mr...
...According to the New York Times, Dr...
...And Mr...
...A1 Sharpton was released from a New York City jail, whence he emerged noticeably fatter despite his claims to have undertaken a hunger strike...
...But they can be kind, too...
...Haskins "was known to keep poisonous ants in the guest room of his house...
...They subjugate weak races and keep slaves...
...Daniel Koop about their 16.5-foot pet python.When photographs of it appeared in the local paper with the family's three-year-old son and eighteenmonth-old daughter, the child welfare officials, roused by the fate of that California pit bull, decided that the Koops would have to chose between keeping their python or their children...
...Those who fall-so to speak--off the wagon will be fined one cow...
...AFGHANISTAN BECAME AMERICA'S first target in the war against terrorism, and days after the bombs began dropping anthrax began appearing in letters mailed to America's elites...
...And he went on: "Who gives a f about New York when elephants are being killed...
...And if you look at him he's a very worthy opponent--a formidable person...
...Nothing they like to have around more than a pet beetle...
...On the vexed issue of smoking in public Los Angeles, California's City Council has begun proceedings to ban smoking even public parks...
...Finally British pop singer Mr...
...At press conferences green-horn reporters bubbled with questions no government at war could answer...
...Radio talk-show hosts had urged their listeners to come out and yell and scream...
...When a writer for the New Yorker magazine asked Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton to explain the "murderous anger" of those who attacked the World Trade Center she invoked her delusions of a "vast rightwing conspiracy," repining: "One of the most difficult experiences that I personally had in the White House was during the health care debate, being the object of extraordinary rage...
...Haskins' most felicitous coinages...
...However, the gifts will be free to smoke cigarettes in public and chew gum...
...Indicative of the American public's faith in the Rev.Jackson's good word, Americans believed the Taliban...
...Nature magazine reports that Harvard University scientists have developed a protein that helps sperm to swim, thus making it possible that the summer Olympics could feature an event completely dominated by spermatozoa, and perhaps even the entry of sperm in the synchronized swimming events...
...Scott Ian, lead singer of the rock group Anthrax is considering changing the group's name to Basket of Puppies, or is that just another of his sophisticated joshes...
...Can the sale of movie rights be far away...
...Umchwasho is Swaziland's age-old chastity rite, requiring gifts to remain virgins until the age of 18 by wearing blue-andyellow "don't touch me" tassels...
...Osama bin Laden beheaded two coconut farmers in the Philippines...
...Caryl R Haskins, a celebrated biophysicist whose life-long love of learning led him to study ants...
...They're worried about a few wisps of second-hand smoke, compared to the filthy Los Angeles air," sniffed Mr...
...Sylvian Boquelet, a French national, was arrested and held in jail for two days after a pedestrian reported that he "smacked" his son in front of an Indian restaurant...
...RET NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2OOI 9 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 9...
...Contrary to his many votaries he did not coin the phrase "She's got ants in her pants," but he did say "[ants] are fascinating creatures.When they go to war they stab each other, spray poison and cut off each other's heads...
...That it killed and sickened only the elites' innocent employees demonstrated anew that whoever is behind the terror is not particularly concerned with justice but rather with annihilation...
...In the age of television, all dramas end on time.What television viewer would expect a three-part documentary to go on for four or five parts, or perhaps more than a year...
...In Edinburgh, Scotland, Mr...
...and Mrs...
...Simpson was found not guilty of "road rage" charges (though few of his golf buddies will now get in his golf cart...
...The Rev...
...Ernest Hemingway, died in a Miami jail, where he had been booked for indecent exposure...
...TWELVE YEARS AFTER THE FALL of the Berlin wall, the anti-communist propaganda continues unabated...
...Did Roosevelt ever so trivialize Hitler...
...Apparently the kids have very nasty dispositions...
...In serene Mbabane, Swaziland, Mrs...
...Lungile Ndlovu, the government's Minister of Maidens' Affairs, vows to enforce King Mswati III's order reintroducing into public policy umchwasho, a Swazi custom eminently adaptable to the American university, where its practice could be counted on to ensure a more scholarly atmosphere, particularly at such institutions as Brown University...
...Gregory Hemingway, youngest son of Mr...
...His first book, published in 1939 after fifteen years of studying the small insects (and apparently reading John Steinbeck), was titled Of Ants and Men...
...Eugene Jackson, known as Pineapple in the "Our Gang" movies, died at the age of 84...
...In the weeks that followed, American resolve to punish the terrorists and extirpate terrorism was all but unanimous.Yet by early November the unanimity had begun to wear thin...
...There is a "copycat" aspect to this story...
...Jesse Jackson was again accused of public prevarication, this time after claiming that Arabia's got all the oil...
...SO TOO DOES THE SILLY SPIRIT of the 1990s...
...And why not...
...The Rev...
...He also disliked tobacco...
...bin Laden, who I've studied a long time, he's got a specific agenda here...
...Ndlovu, who herself was once a virgin of great beauty and nubility, "during the umchwasho you will be expected to observe a five-year sex ban, no shaking of hands with males, no wearing of slacks, and you will be expected to wear woolen tassels wherever you go...
...Some thirty minutes later the Pentagon suffered similarly, killing among the hundreds one of the Spectator family's most audacious, Barbara Olson...
...The case has, according to London's Daily Telegraph, "attracted widespread publicity in France," where it is not illegal to spank children but to take one into an Indian restaurant might be considered abuse...
...The man who is too old to learn was probably always too old to learn," was one of Dr...
...The Afghans denied it, in perhaps their only plausible public statement of the past two months...
...IN RELIGIOUS SERVICES, Muslim fundamentalists with links to the Rev...
...Bethany Joe Anderson, winner of Des Moine's annual silly name contest...
...Enoch Ludlow, a local smokers' rights activist...
...Impertinent pols began Monday-morning quarterbacking a war that was not yet two months old...
...The Nazi mentality lives...
...This Crisis remains absurd...
...A researcher in Frankfurt, Germany, Mr.Andreas Weigelt, claimed in early October that the Stasi, East Germany's respected secret police, actually robbed graveyards in the early 1970s, taking gold from the teeth of the deceased...
...Two of America's celebrity criminals were in the news...
...GREECE'S CENTER-LEFT GOVERNMENT won reelection led by Prime Minister Costas Simitis, the glabrous leader of the Pan-Hellenic Socialist Movement...
...Ludlow might have added that by the City Council's reasoning the government should also ban second-hand halitosis and second-hand body order.And in Merced, California, city officials are mulling over whether the pet python of an unnamed man-unnamed for obvious reasons--can be considered a wild animal and thus a violation of the city code...
...The first time was for misdemeanor drug charges, but the second charge smacked of the glamour and romance that have characterized his life since he became a media star...
...AMERICA HAD SUFFERED its most grievous terrorist attack ever, sustaining more than twice as many deaths as in the attack on Pearl Harbor, where Japanese treachery aimed only at the military, not at unarmed civilians...
...TRADITIONAL MORALITY IS REASSERTING itself around the globe...
...The snake consumed the man's other pet, a pit bull that weighed thirty pounds until it was inhaled...
...Waterman threatened his friend Mr...
...Rodney King, the multi-millionaire beneficiary of charges that Los Angeles police once made him a human pifiata, was jugged twice in just over a month...
...The concoction brought on inebriation and the police after Mr...
...Death claimed the life of Dr...
...In Edinburgh it is against the law to strike a child in front of an Indian restaurant...
...the government of Afghanistan had invited him to negotiate peace between it and the United States...
...At an Internet conference in October former Boy President Bill Clinton induced sleep in an audience as he gassed on about "Mr...
...Hemingway had had a sex-change operation that apparently did not take...
...As asseverated by Mrs...
...Lawrence Joel Waterman's three-year abstinence from alcohol came to naught when he observed the date by downing vast quantities of rum, Coke, vodka and beer...
...Lee Ryan averred that the attack on America has been "blown out of proportion...
...He was booked for suspicion of using controlled substances and for indecent exposure...
...And Mr...
...Just weeks after it was reported, social workers in "Why stop with Afgh 8 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 9 NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2001 Vancouver approached Mr...
Vol. 34 • November 2001 • No. 8
