BEN STEIN'S DIARY: Defining Moments
Stein, Benjamin J.
Defining Moments BY BENJAMIN J. STEIN SATURDAY t ~ very so often a moment comes along that clarifies something I had been wondering about. I had one of them today and it was about politics....
...I asked the fellow where he liked to hang out here in glorious L.A.Without a moment's hesitation, he mentioned a club that is notorious for excluding Jews, blacks, and everyone else who does not meet its race standards...
...Strike the tent" were his final words, or so it is said...
...It made me sob...
...He runs SBC, an immense telecom...
...FRIDAY T his is much better...
...all of his friends seemed to be wealthy sons of wealthy parents...
...and Mrs...
...Again, oddly, no one had been delegated to talk to Mrs...
...I cannot even start to tell you what a thrill I got standing at a lectern in front of the statue of General Lee...
...I love the story about the young cadets from VMI rushing to the battle of New Market and filling a hole in the Rebel lines with their young bodies...
...Still, the impression my conversationalist had left with me is obviously the impression the GOP leaves with far too many voters: that its core constituency is country-club white men who take joy in being exclusionary...
...It's on the honor system...
...Some jerk immediately started laughing like mad...
...I told a joke I often tell making fun of Bill Clinton's sexual appetites...
...So far that generated only a bit of envy and resentment and a dull sense of annoyance that I often feel when I am around people who talk too much about money, who could be Republicans or Democrats...
...Just great, friendly people...
...I plan to take Tommy there soon and start preparing him to attend the school...
...I had to walk forever to find my car, but finally I did and got to my hotel...
...With an unceasing admiration of your constancy and devotion to your country, and a grateful remembrance of your kind and generous consideration of myself, I bid you all an affectionate farewell...
...Gloriously homey and welcoming...
...The 1Kei~ublicans are already getting about as many white male Protestant voters as it is possible to get, and still Mr...
...Oh, well...
...Plus as smart as a whip...
...Lee), where his repose statue is (an astonishingly well-wrought work of sculpture in the nave of a chapel bearing Lee's name, with Confederate battle flags in each corner of the nave), where his horse, Traveller, is buried...
...I shifted gears and told of how the president should use the surplus to get baseball back to D.C...
...Well, there is little in life I cannot learn from and I will have to think of the lessons here: maybe Mr...
...Bush register such low approval ratings among blacks...
...Now, here is a tale...
...I had lunch with a fine man I had worked with during the Bush campaign...
...Bush's, so it can be done...
...Then why did they invite me...
...Loved my jokes, were super friendly, intelligent, self-sacrificing people filled with the best of the human spirit.And they loved my jokes, even the ones about Clinton...
...And, as might have been predicted, no one from C-Span helped us find our coats or get back to the hotel...
...Lively, brash, and self-confident...
...Inexpensive hotels in pleasant, friendly small towns are often more accommodating and cheery than very cher hotels in big cities...
...George W. Bush came in, and everyone flocked around...
...Cheney or any of the men and women at the top of the party, take people like me...
...The crowd was enthusiastic...
...She is amazingly beautiful, alert, utterly unpretentious, and a joy to be with...
...Anyway, I ended on a note I had heard from John E Kennedy, that "here on earth, God's work must truly be our own," or something like that...
...In the Special Collections section, I saw many letters from Lee in his ultra-neat handwriting...
...I went back to my apartment at the Watergate after the event and stood on my balcony and looked at the Potomac...
...They THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 9 June 2001 85 sat on their hands and from then on, I had lost them...
...I told the crowd that if they laughed a lot I claimed they had found it indelicate...
...No one to help find the right room, no one to help us hang our coats.We were like wayfaring strangers begging for a room at the inn, not the supposed main entertainment...
...Today, I perhaps got a great big part of the answer...
...If he can get in, which is a BIG if...
...Applause, but not a lot of applause...
...It made me cry, when I thought of my mother's fine sense of humor and delicate eye to have spotted it--a tiny irregularity--and catalogued it, perhaps just so that I would find it some day and be reminded of her sweet drollery...
...I was met there by two students from W&L, Dustin and Chris...
...Then we lined up and went in to the dinner...
...Have you ever been to a giant ultra Wal-Mart...
...world know that the GOP is not a racist country club, that it is in fact as open to hard-working, decent, law-abiding men and women of every race as any other party...
...And then it was my turn...
...More applause.Then Suddenly I recalled that family values are not big in this crew...
...I had never really gotten to know him, but today with several hours to spend, I learned about his life and times...
...and Mrs...
...But it was about the merits of various kinds of cars, about Yale vs...
...It has great antiques, and a chair that was given to Lee by Jefferson Davis Dr...
...Cheney, also smiling and selfeffacing, laughing and joking about his diet...
...Anyway, the evening was a thrill in the respect of getting to spend so much time with Mr...
...He, like your humble servant, was en route to D.C...
...It has fraternities, which I like a lot...
...I saw where Robert E. Lee is buried (I am a huge buff of the Civil War and a great fan of 1K.E...
...I think it's just about perTHE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 9 June 2001 83 fect...
...I saw the lovely buildings and library...
...I shined to a plea to the people in the room to spend less time worrying about global issues and about the money supply, and more worrying about their families...
...Wifey, as usual, was very encouraging and kind and said everyone near her was laughing like mad...
...I sat next to a wonderfully kind man of about my age named Whitacre...
...As I stood at the podium, I kept thinking of the Biblical stories of the "scribes and the Pharisees" and their sanctimony...
...As I flew back, I studied my book, Ordinary Heroes, by a man named Casalini, about Medal of Honor winners...
...Endlessly friendly...
...This is getting to be a lesson I am learning in my travels...
...So I was lucky enough to spend a fair amount of time with her...
...Bush barely won, and the GOP holds Congress by a whisker...
...If you miss the gentility of life that's almost been smothered in modern America, try two things: watch George W. Bush on C-Span and visit Washington and Lee...
...That is one of the most civil ideas I have ever heard of...
...It's maybe a Potomac Fever thing...
...Alas, they were not...
...Decorum forbids telling what we talked about, but imagine a talk with a really great neighbor, and you have it right there...
...Then Tim Russert was given an award for his TV journalism...
...What a waste of my time and theirs...
...He described the club so enthusiastically that I felt bound to tell him that I happened to harbor a certain amount of ill will toward the club in question for its racist policies...
...In fact, I know it is...
...looked beautiful, as always...
...Then off to a nearby Wal-Mart to buy some toiletries...
...How I love being back in my hometown of Washington, D.C...
...She is pretty, smart, and filled with stories, so it was a joy...
...First hint of trouble: they could not pay even close to my standard fee...
...I will keep them to myself, but they showed a lot of consideration and a certain insight...
...So much courage at such a young age...
...It was one disappointing evening in an avalanche of happy days and nights for little me...
...But I also happen, among other things, to be an actor and a Jew, two marks against me at his club, and it stung me that my fellow GOP activist was so obviously proud of his ability to get into a club that would not And on every important issue, from right to life to defense to foreign policy, the GOP's positions are my own...
...It is my dream come true to be around such people...
...His words reflect such courtly gentility they simply move one to tears...
...I told a number of jokes that always in the past have found good reception, but the audience of the night did not like them except for the GOP people I could see down in front...
...I am in Lexington, Virginia, home of many different colleges, but especially Washington and Lee University and the Virginia Military Institute...
...all of them seemed to be getting very rapidly more wealthy under the Bush regime...
...Bush won the last election by astounding luck...
...Maybe not...
...Afterwards I signed autographs for about two hours at a reception...
...We drove along a highway choked with big trucks to Lexington, where I checked into a really pleasant Hampton Inn...
...They loved someone making fun of GWB, even if it was GWB...
...I am here to give a speech...
...Fourth hint of trouble: when I got to the reception room, instead of the usual friendly folks talking to me and acting cheerful, there was a sort of selfconscious coolness in the air with only a few hardy souls talking to me...
...Have I made a terrible mistake here...
...the University of Texas as a place to drive, about relations with China in a very light way, about some of the various dignitaries in the room, would be brief and if not I would stay all night...
...Cheney while the Veep was getting his picture taken...
...I spoke to about 400 lawyers and social workers in Columbus, Ohio...
...Next hint of trouble: when I got to the 84 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 9 June 2001 Washington Hilton, instead of the usual cheerful men and women greeting me, there was no one at all...
...We talked happily about how much we like Mr...
...Elrod holds open house every afternoon and students and faculty can just come by to see him and (I assume) his stunningly lovely wife...
...Well, I can't worry about it forever...
...He's my new hero for his welcoming and unpretentious ways...
...We were left as much alone as we had been when we arrived...
...It has something called "The Speaking Tradition...
...Nelson Rockefeller did it with almost total success in NewYork a generation ago, with a name far more likely to suggest exclusivity than Mr...
...Bush or Mr...
...What a hotel should and must be if you do it right...
...He was extremely selfcritical and mocking in a good-natured way...
...And certainly the GOP as an institution obviously respects men and women of every possible race and subgroup, gives them jobs, and pays attention to their wants...
...Bush gave a hilarious speech making fun of himself...
...Of course, of course...
...I also was shown VMI...
...You cannot believe its size...
...I hope and pray that people like them exist when my son is ready for college (if he ever is...
...They were wonderful...
...They hated even a syllable of criticism of Bill Clinton, and maybe they just did not like me...
...This means that when anyone from the school passes anyone else from the school, each has to greet the other...
...The students, male students, wear jackets and ties to class...
...Thrill enough for anyone...
...How he should use more of it to re-open Garfinckel's, a specialty store that had been a great treasure of D.C...
...Still, Washington, D.C., is my native city, so I said yes...
...John Elrod, the president of Washington and Lee University, and his beautiful, elegant wife...
...Ted Kennedy, Madeleine Albright, and Joe Lieberman did not laugh...
...I cannot tell you how cheery everyone in the room was: David Dreier, one of the smartest, most effective men in the Congress, Tom DeLay, always a voice of good common sense, Mr...
...This should have been enough hints...
...I got up in Lexington and my fine, talented guide, Dustin Olson, drove me to Roanoke through the rolling, lush Shenandoah Valley...
...Still, I wished I had been back at Washington and Lee or with those nice congressional Republicans the night before...
...I told a joke about John Hinckley and Bill O'Reilly...
...President Elrod is a famous student of philosophy...
...In a word...he was born to wealthy parents...
...The house is much larger than it looks from the outside, with open, airy rooms...
...I told a few jokes and the audience roared...
...Washington and Lee is where I want Tommy to go to college...
...One of the many frustrations of this situation is the inability of the Republican Party to capture more than a small percentage of black, Jewish, and Hispanic voters...
...Every day the task of inclusion is avoided is a day closer to oblivion for the Grand Old Party...
...Bush or Mr...
...And the Cheneys...
...WEDNESDAY ~ nother great day...
...Some response, including spontaneous applause, but not a huge amount, to put it mildly...
...They wouldn't even take Tom Hanks when he applied...
...I am here to tell you that I am a rock star and I am an active Republican...
...Oh, I forgot to mention a trip to Dustin's and Chris's frat house, where the boys were, again, well-dressed, good-looking, and alert...
...They don't take actors...
...Bush, and then arrived at Dulles...
...I spoke today for one of my favorite causes: adoption...
...The River Inn...
...Start with the obvious: I am a hard-working promoter of the Bush administration and the Grand Old Party generally...
...TUESDAY o h happy day...
...He was totally unfazed, maybe even encouraged by my comments...
...It is across from the Kappa Alpha House, a frat founded on respect for Lee, but apparently also very much indebted to Lee's great-great-grandson, who runs a distillery that makes Virginia Gentleman spiritsmalthough note that General Lee did not believe that men should imbibe...
...This is incredibly hurtful and insulting to people who do not happen to be white Episcopalians...
...And now...
...This nation is now a rainbow quilt, like it or not, where voters with color in their cheeks and ways of worshipping different from the mode at the club hold the balance of power...
...So, it's not really a party thing...
...Anyway, I love Washington and Lee, and I slept well in my room at the Hampton Inn...
...Why am I bothering to work and travel and speak for a party that has functionaries who take such delight in excluding people just like me from their socializing...
...He was wry, kind, and extremely self-effacing...
...Bush gave me the best lesson in some thoughtful and brief words he had offered to me to describe the dignitaries in the room...
...Davis, chairman of the National Republican Congressional Committee, from Northern Virginia and a smart, agreeable fellow...
...Then a rather rude United Express woman made me sit on the tiny plane for an hour before it took off...
...That they had dissed Geraldo Rivera and Imus and Bob Hope and took pride in being cool to whoever from "Hollywood" appeared...
...Scribes and pharisees have better things to do...
...Cheney or any of the men and women at the top of the party, who pointedly refuse to be members of clubs that discriminate in any way...
...and Mrs...
...Bush...
...DeLay was kind, again...
...Sure enough, inside was a dollar bill with Washington looking a bit like Alfred E. Neuman...
...It was exhilarating and humbling at the same time...
...Oddly, no one from C-Span or anywhere else was there to entertain Mrs...
...Plus, Dr...
...Cheney appeared, and they were super friendly and nice...
...He was his usual lively, cheerful self...
...Like a whole city of groceries, appliances, clothing, toys, cosmetics, shaving cream, shampoo, batteries.A cascade of America's bounty...
...Again, modesty forbids describing the conversation in detail...
...How blessed to be in America, the greatest miracle of all time...
...Fifth hint of trouble: those few people who did talk to me warned me over and over that this was a crowd that was impossible to please...
...I bid goodbye to my colleague and then I walked home...
...If I, a lifetime Republican, son and grandson of Republicans, felt this sting of exclusion, what must the ordinary Joe or Jane with an ethnic background think...
...I have to learn more about him and become more like him...
...I sat next to a cheery man who is head of a huge realtors' trade group...
...Here's why: It's in a beautiful spot in the Shenandoah Valley...
...And Bill O'Reilly was very kind and invited me on his show, and Tim Russert hugged me and told me how much he loved my remarks about family...
...Now, I happen to feel sure that Tom Hanks would be welcome at any club with any sense...
...Yes," he said, "it's old-fashioned...
...That's my new goal...
...I had the stupendous treat of sitting on the dais between Mr...
...Wait a minute," I thought to my little self...
...Cheney and Mr...
...Anyway, tonight I gave a speech at the Lee Chapel...
...How blessed I am to be their heir...
...The town is still there and it's warm and reassuring...
...Then Mr...
...He had been president of what was then Washington College for five years after the Civil War and he died on a cot in the dining room looking out at the mountains...
...I went to my apartment (formerly my parents' apartment) at the Watergate, looked at old photos, at stamps my mother had collected, and at a surprising find: an envelope marked "$1 bill with peculiar face of Washington...
...Bush were gracious and so was the Veep couple, and so was Tom DeLay...
...The GOP people I could see did laugh...
...And there I was, speaking to scribes (journalists) and Pharisees (the liberal establishment in D.C., as close to the Pharisees as can be imagined in modern Western life...
...But all in all, it was a dismaying experience...
...No press photos really do her justice...
...Then I made a huge error...
...THURSDAY O ops...
...How many times I had done that and come back inside and had my mother offer me grapes and my father ask me how my life was going...
...Bush...
...They hated even a syllable of criticism of Bill Clinton, and maybe they just did not like me...
...The audience loved it (although note, some wags later When I got to the reception room, instead of the usual friendly folks talking to me and acting cheerful, there was a sort of self-conscious coolness in the air with only a few hardy souls talking to me...
...Then, however, came the clincher...
...They should have just had one of their own speak to them in a language they could understand.They loved someone making fun of GWB, even if it was GWB...
...And for those last night who did not laugh at my jokes, I think we have a saying about people who can't take a joke...
...Anyway, this morning a Freshman from W&L named Brett took me on a tour of the campus...
...And, the school has high academic standards...
...The audience was super friendly and smart, laughing at my little jests, smiling and nodding to show they got it, delightfully open and intelligent young people...
...I came on and added, "I am a TV star and I am from Hollywood and I am a Jew and I am a Republican, too...
...Thomas, head of the Ways and Means Committee, and his very cheery, pleasant wife (as down to earth as only a Republican MC's wife can be...
...Wifey had just flown in from L.A...
...Next to us was Mr...
...I flew in last night to Roanoke...
...Bush...
...They are a fine way to learn to be a friend...
...The gala at the Hilton was delightful...
...However, VP and Mrs...
...for about 25 years, although very slightly, so my wife and I entertained her...
...A couple of months ago, a man from C-Span asked me if I would address the Congressional Radio and TV Correspondents' Dinner in D.C...
...E. Lee lived and where he died in 1870...
...The rock star "Meat Loaf" was the MC and he was fabbers...
...She lied about when the doors were closing...
...It's got great photos of them and short but moving text about how they won their medals...
...But this impression absolutely has got to change in a big way if the GOP is going to have a future...
...Bush now has the bully pulpit to let the I calmed down and I realized that my interlocutor's attitude was hardly typical of Mr...
...If he does not lead the party out of the clubhouse and the 19th hole and into the 'hood and the barrio and the shul, if he does not show that the GOP really is the big tent, he could be the last Republican president for a long time, or maybe the last one ever...
...Mostly women, mostly Democrats, at least at my table, including the former Weatherman leader, Bernadine Dohrn...
...A little bon ton from my Mom to make me smile and cry...
...Still, I went ahead and came to D.C...
...It's early spring and a few leaves are appearing on trees, and I am happy...
...But all in all, it had been a distinctly uncomfortable evening...
...Bush...
...They were cheerful, well-organized, delightful guys...
...I was shown around the house by Dr...
...Then, the plum in the pudding, a tour of" Lee House, the house where 1K...
...Good response...
...Elrod invited me to sit in it and I did, conscious of my own insignificance as I almost collapsed into such a low chair...
...86 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 9 June 2001...
...And Mrs...
...He gave a short but fine speech and got immense applause...
...Second hint of trouble: extreme difficulty with the folks from C-Span making travel reservations...
...for a big GOP congressional fundraiser that night at the Washington Hilton...
...I am always moved by his farewell letter to the Army of Northern Virginia...
...It's not at all clear that Lee wrote it himself, but he certainly edited it, and he signed it, and it's touching...
...Then Mr...
...But the Demsmand the room was largely broadcast correspondentsmwere, as Queen Victoria said to her PM in a famous interlude, "not amused...
...Every day in this country is a gift from on high...
...No problem...
...It has a whole different look, but I liked it very much also...
...I know that George W. Bush is already working at it, but he and his fellow leaders need to work at it harder...
...Why does the press act so mean to him...
...For example, I have often wondered whymdespite what certainly seem to me to be good stands on Israel and affirmative action-the Bush campaign got so few Jewish votes...
...We rested...
...As I did, I calmed down and I realized that my interlocutor's attitude was hardly typical of Mr...
...I have had the pleasure of knowing Mrs...
...He said it with what seemed to me to be happiness, almost giddiness...
...Maybe the impression is wrong...
...Bush, with his intense affability and absolute lack of racist feelings, is 82 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 9 June 2001 the man to do the .job and the time is now...
...He is tall, extremely dignified, with an engaging manner...
...Why, despite Mr...
...about Camp David and the swimming pool there.And more about the various dignitaries in the room, once again...
...Bush's obvious liking for African-Americans and his appointment of many of them to top government posts, does Mr...
Vol. 34 • June 2001 • No. 5
