Twentieth-Century America
Reeves, Thomas C.
Privacy and privies; Wagga the dog; a French snake; foxes! March, which is supposed to come in like a lion and out like a lamb, came in like a lamb and out like a lamb--much to the anxiety of...
...Upon arriving in Australia, Prince Philip immediately left his wife, Queen Elizabeth II, and flew to historic Wagga Wagga, home of Charles Sturt University's world-renowned cheese laboratogr whose ricotta last year won a gold medal at the Sydney agricultural show, and whose soccer team has used the prestigious cheese as a body rub to repel opponents during matches in Wagga Wagga's humid heat...
...In the Democratic primaries, the highest-ranking Buddhist ever to seek the presidency, Vice President Al Gore, forced his lone opponent, former Senator Bill Bradley, into retirement...
...is it proper to touch one's nose with one's glove...
...Kathleen E. Willey...
...Kristol's highly praised appearances on television dropped a staggering 79.3 percent...
...How can any British citizen oppose the monarchy with such amusing goings on...
...Osama bin Laden is actually Mr...
...Vladimir Putin won 53 percent of the vote to become Russia's second freely elected president and the first to go an entire week without checking into a clinic or dancing on his breakfast table...
...Whatever, Prince Philip, who is beloved by fuddy-duddies everywhere for his insensitivity to local custom, refused to wear the requisite white coat and rubber boots while visiting the university's cheese laboratory and contaminated a vat of experimental lemon myrtle flavored cheese in four minutes -- a university record...
...Gore...
...Way to go Phillyboy...
...Lighten up, Bette, you will not hear of such concerns at Fox News...
...In Paris, French customs officials at Roissy Airpoit stopped a 3o-year-old Frenchman for carrying a snake in his underpants...
...NowAsiaweek reports that Harry is "dying of kidney failure" after years ofchampague luncheons...
...The ferocious campaign led by this magazine's Mr...
...At any rate, it is a good thing Prince Philip was offin Wagga Wagga contaminating the cheese...
...He was not even asked his comment on the precipitous blooming of Washington's Japanese cherry blossoms-and he studied Japanese as an undergraduate...
...In Hang Kong, officials seized 36 crickets from two cricket breeders retuming from China's Guangzhou province...
...Abdoulcote Wade won the presidency of Senegal, defeating President Abdou Diouf, who had served for 19 years before he lost the last syllable of his first name...
...According to sympathetic sociologists, the gesture is a traditional aboriginal welcome, signifying friendship...
...In Russia, Mr...
...On March 9, BioSpecifics Technologies Corp...
...There is no word on the gentleman's underpants...
...Wally Pleszczynski against Senator John McCain ended in March with Governor George W. Bush assured of the Republican presidential nomination, and kingmaker Mr...
...Amnesty International, are you out there...
...And not only are the Clintons under suspicion but so is the putative Democratic presidential nominee, Mr...
...One can well imagine his terse "get your digit out of your proboscis you shirtless idiot...
...His wife caused an even greater turbulence...
...Tung's offer was rejected in the end...
...It can be traced to the aborigines' first contact with Europeans, who used handkerchiefs, which the impoverished aborigines could not afford...
...In Arkansas it has now become illegal for participants in court proceedings to remove their pants and gesticulate to the judge with their naked bums...
...Perhaps it is a sad consequence of the Republican takeover of the state, but on March 15 Municipal Judge Dennis Sutterfield in Russellville, Arkansas, sentenced Mr...
...Gore almost immediately addressed the vexed question of campaign finance by proposing to transform national political campaigns into the largest charitable trust in world history...
...And in yet another departure from British ways, a Hang Kong surgeon was severely disciplined for talking on the telephone to his automobile agent while performing colon 8 May 2000 - The American Spectator surgery...
...Harry Laden, identified by our colleague Taki in a "world exclusive" for the Spectator of London as a lovable playboy from the 6o's who dated leggy beauties and partied his way through Europe until growing a beard and wrapping his balding head in a towel he copped from the Ritz in the early 197o's...
...More evidence accumulates that alleged terrorist Mr...
...of Lynbrook, New York, announced that it had won a patent for the treatment of Peyronie's disease...
...Both British and Australian reporters wanted to know if, in her twenty tons of luggage, she brought her "ultrasoft, kid leather, white seat" to be "fitted to every toilet she wishes to use during her five-city tour," which does not mean it was frequently put to use...
...According to the South China Morning Post, the bugs "are believed to have been trained for fights in the territory," and were being brought to Hang Kong to compete in local cricket matches, the Chinese having become hopelessly confused about British customs and even British sport since the Crown gave Hang Kong over to Beijing in 1997...
...William Kristol apparently banished from American public life...
...District Judge Royce Lamberth found The Groper in criminal violation of the Privacy Act for releasing letters from the begroped Mrs...
...Rather than buying weapons, "his associates," reports London's Independent, "have been trying to obtain a kidney dialysis machine to alleviate his worsening condition...
...Immediately after Senator McCain's decorous withdrawal statement Mr...
...And almost the entire American press ceased calling him for pithy presidential announcements, even on the future of Mr...
...lET The American Spectator _9 May 2o o o 9...
...March, which is supposed to come in like a lion and out like a lamb, came in like a lamb and out like a lamb--much to the anxiety of Vice President AI Gore and all his fellow Chicken LiNes to whom the arrival of mild weather is a portent of doom...
...In fact, her admirable restraint was displayed frequently during her tour of the Australian Outback, where she was met by hordes of smiling aborigines, all earnestly picking their noses as she accorded them the royal greeting...
...Unfortunately the patient, who was conscious during the call, disapproved and lodged a complaint...
...In the finest tradition of Britain's National Health Service, Dr...
...Alas, March did not go out lamb-like for the Clintons, who had promised "to put it all behind us"-"it" being White House scandals...
...Analysts of the region" remain skeptical...
...Human rights activists have leapt to the defense of four women of Thai extraction who claim that they were forced to work for seventy hours a week in a New Zealand clothes factory, where they were not given the minimum wage and were, when they complained, called "dog-breath :' In Glenside, Pennsylvania, officials of Beaver College are weighing a name change owing to what Beaver President Bette E. Landman calls "the vulgar reference to the female anatomy...
...Tung Hiu-ming took a call about a BMW that was for sale while operating on an afflicted taxi driver...
...The snake was confiscated under France's endangered species law...
...Alan Keyes...
...The Queen's reserve is famous...
...On March 22, U.S...
...On March z3, the Justice Departrnent divulged that it had begun a criminal investigation into evidence that the White House has again been caught obstructing iustice...
...Either that, or team members could use a deodorant...
...This time the obstruction involves denying the existence of White House e-mails to congressional and judicial investigators looking into a range of earlier misbehavior, including l'affaire Lewinsky and campaign finance...
...Yet the White House had good news too...
...For days she refused to respond to questions of a personal nature in the popular press...
...I'm still learning how to cry Controversy stalked the British royal family's March visit to the antipodes...
...Robert White, 5o, to ten months in the hoosegow for "mooning" him during an impassioned exchange...
Vol. 33 • May 2000 • No. 4
