Ben Stein's Diary: I Was Robbed
Stein, Benjamin J.
by Benjamin J. S t e i n I Was Robbed Friday H ere I am in Little Rock, Arkansas. I am here with my wifie and son, the angels Alex and Tommy, and my wife's nephew, Matt, to visit my...
...Next to it was an immense gray gas furnace that sprang to life suddenly with a great whoosh, and then turned itself offwith a heavy sigh...
...I do not think the robbers climbed up trees and anyway, the robbery was in the back garage...
...I want some peace and quiet, some respite...
...Next, my father would start sawing the lengths of aluminum with a hacksaw until he had four parts-sides, top, and bottomall with the ends at a perfect 45-degree angle...
...How could this braino guy, who spent his time reading academic articles about economics, know how to make a window that fit perfectly when it was done...
...Then, troubles at my show...
...market...
...He knocked them out of my hand...
...I don't think I have ever felt so tired...
...Waves crashed all over the spectacular immense towering rocks south of Point Mugu...
...I awakened this moming feeling as if I would not die...
...Small wonder Clinton had so much success with local women...
...Would the drug companies feel motivated to spend a fortune to produce these drugs and make them work right...
...My father would buy furnace filters, then he would buy lengths of aluminum with grooves in their middle, and new hacksaw blades, and precut, carefully measured plates of glass, and lengths of plastic sheeting...
...I felt devastated...
...I walked to the landing of the stairs...
...Before I could go on, my wife sensibly suggested that I cut the maudlin talk and The profit system is the most powerful incentive machine ever for human creativity...
...Dennis, the director...
...My head throbbed...
...It can be used as part of the nutritional management of all types of eye conditions...
...I AM NOT KIDDING...
...Would he grow up without me...
...Well, just call him," she said...
...Or that I made too much of a T sound...
...daecks please allow 3 w~ks f~ delivery...
...Are you all right...
...Physicians Natural Products) P.O...
...In his usual genteel way, Col...
...Yaniv, my bodyguard...
...Now, I thought, the drug company that makes this must have spent billions creating it...
...Don't look at us" he said...
...Then, this morning, I felt shaky and tired...
...I was really seared...
...The difference they made in keeping out the cold was immense...
...Look forward...
...Spray washed thirty feet in the air...
...He might have made a couple of dozen of these over the course of several winters...
...This stuffis incredible...
...I lie in bed with Brigitte and the electric blanket keeps me warm...
...Is it wrong to pronounce a place name the way the people in the place pronounce it...
...Here in Los Angeles, it's rarely cold...
...I did a little filing and cleaning, and then, about dinner time, I took a nap...
...IfI win each time, the show suffers...
...I spent most of the panel asking about how the valuations ofhigh-tech companies were ever going to mesh with the earnings...
...THIS REALLY HAPPENED...
...They ran all about the front yard...
...But when I leave the set after winning all the games, I do feel great...
...I took the medicine in the strange inhalant way it's prescribed...
...The American Spectator _9 March 2 0 o o 49 The problem is that my room at the Biltmore is a huge, dusty hellhole...
...The police shone lights in the trees in the front yard...
...Morris, IL | I 61054-8084 I I 1-800-524-3469 I I I I IMPORTANT: I I Allow six weeks for address change...
...I talked to them about the robbery...
...Too much bad stuff is happening to me...
...I said "Greenwich Mean Time," pronouncing it "Gren-lJch," as people do...
...Nothing in human history even comes close...
...Room service was a joke, and there was no place to plug in my laptop...
...Susie, my makeup woman...
...Who cares...
...The old South, with its sad history of frustration and anger and racism, is as far gone as the empire of Caligula...
...I may be wrong, but it seems to me that Yahoo would not make enough money to justify its share price if it sold every disc and every movie ever made-- and if it got to keep all the money from the sale, not just the pennies for the routing...
...But I'vebeen to Greenwich, UK, and that's how it's pronounced...
...He is so sweet, so likable, has so much enthusiasm, that I do not want to be the black cloud hanging over him...
...They were of short stature, one Hispanic, one Anglo, wearing cotton shirts and cotton trousers...
...Then, back to my office to file for a while, and then into Beverly Hills, almost nine o'clock, feeling so wiped out I can barely keep my eyes open...
...Mostly it said the medicine might upset my stomach...
...Our old house in the Hollywood Hills had evil powers over my family...
...As I did, two young men walked into the garage quietly and self-confidently...
...That was the easy part...
...I said I'd take him to my West Hollywood apartment, with its ace security, to sleep next to me...
...Sunday ~ t can be and it is...
...It's very expensive...
...When winter came, my father would make preparations...
...Tuesday T his is better...
...Anyway, Wooo Pig, Sooey...
...And legions of people are coming over for autographs...
...I don't think you'll find any clues here...
...I think a summer job as a waiter might change that...
...Brand new...
...If I lose my show and retire, I think I'll move to Eden Isle, Arkansas, where the living is really, really easy and pleasant, and where I can live without getting into the spending vise I am now in...
...I already gave it to you...
...I gave you all of it," I truthfully told him...
...It was extremely stressful, and he does not want a repeat of that stress...
...Our waiter put up with all of Tommy's rudeness and demands pleasantly...
...I I | - - That's all there is to it...
...I just wish he felt like talking a bit more...
...He would first take out the old fumace filters and discard them in our ancient metal trash cans, sealed inside an enclosure against squirrels...
...much of a T sound when that's how it's commonly pronounced...
...I have no idea how much it costs, but I do plan to get one...
...The American Spectator _9 March 20 o o .51 "Medicines and papers," I said...
...The flu is coming back, and it's my fault for getting exhausted...
...Wednesday A nother evil day, starting with a long, long day on the set...
...He leaves it on when he goes to school...
...I love 48 Marc h 2 o o o _9 The American Spectator that a lot but it's going to be a problem because, you see, the point of the show is for other people to beat me, the old professor...
...The gent from Yahoo gave such funny answers I wish he could be a writer on our show...
...Lately, I feel especially great because Cadillac has loaned me a new Deville DTS car...
...Grodan, one of my many doctors...
...Then we'd install the new filters...
...Box 655, Mt...
...My wife and son were frantic to find him...
...And then you'll want your family safe and warm, and one way to do that is to not waste money when you can just put on a sweater...
...Address: The American Spectator, P.O...
...That caused a long, welcome delay...
...I'm in a giant Winnebago motor home racing up the lol between Ventura and Santa Barbara...
...SANTA LUCIA EYE DROPS The amazing Santa Lucia Eye preparation is made of two types of plants...
...It's just a thought...
...If it's the slightest bit cool, my son turns up the heat in his bathroom so high he makes his bedroom like a sauna...
...Saturday W ooo Pig, Sooey...
...It's in respect to my father, who told it to me, and his father who probably told it to him...
...I wonder if any of them survive in a dusty corner of their basement as they do in my memory...
...After another couple of puffs and a few more bouts with my stomach, I felt still better...
...Thursday T his is something completely different...
...What great drugs have come out of socialized medicine...
...I I [ 3. Return this form to us at the [ address listed below...
...I wonder if they ever use the storm windows he made...
...It dawned on me as I felt that way-but only dawned on 50 March 2 0 o o _9 The American Spectator me for an instant--that when I feel that low, it's a bad omen...
...Your whole life is a failure...
...a woman asked...
...use my breath to call our doctor and get some medicine...
...He was delicious company...
...80% markedly improved: _9 Macular Degeneration _9 Retinitis Pigmentosa _9 Conjunctivitis _9 Glaucoma (5 different types) _9 Allergic conditions of the eye _9 Xerostomia (Dry Eye) _9 Laser Burns _9 Cataracts (including patients w/implanted lenses "Macular degeneration improved - glaucoma gone after 3 months...
...As my father worked on them, I often noticed how strong his arms were...
...Thursday U h-oh...
...The judges said that was wrong, that it has to be Green-which or else Gren-Itch, with no T sound...
...When he feels like talking, he is about as amusing and interesting as anyone I know...
...The song is about e'trade, a huge on-line brokerage and financial services company for whom I am currently doing a commercial and an infomercial...
...I don't like this...
...Saturday D isaster...
...I'm playing the guitar...
...I felt desperate...
...As if I were about to die in moments...
...E.V., Nebraska "Cataracts gone after 3 months...
...He reached into my suit jacket pocket and rummaged around then took away his hand...
...That's a poor substitute for teaching him how to make a storm window, but as I said, we don't have many storms here, and anyway, I don't know how...
...This must have been about 1956, when Eisenhower was president and stocks sold for ten times earnings if they were solid...
...You're kidding," she said as she walked slowly downstairs...
...I like getting calls in this end of Beverly Hills because I always get such great decorating tips...
...At my home in Malibu, the bed beckoned...
...Anyway, I worked like a madman all week, and then last night I went downtown to the Biltrnore Hotel next to Pershing Square to sleep...
...It seemed to be just plain beyond the ability of the desk clerks to figure out how to bill three rooms to one credit card...
...But I let that thought out of my mind and pulled into our new garage, the one that's taken a year to build and still has no doors...
...It features a man from Yahoo-a multi-billionaire from Yahoo--John Malone, founder of TCI and also a billionaire, and little me, who trembles at his MasterCard bill...
...Would I ever see my wifie again...
...We did not have to buy a whole separate condo for Ping-Pong the way I did a few years ago...
...what about Tommy...
...Right in the garage...
...I lie in bed and think, over and over again, "You are a loser...
...His career has taken off in a big way with the success of"The Man Show...
...In a minute, the house was surrounded by Beverly Hills police cars and Beverly Hills policemen...
...But there's nothing for the flu," I said...
...Jimmy Kimmel is leavingthe show...
...I Just be sure to allow six weeks for your | I I ] change to take effect...
...But I keep thinking about other winters, long ago, in Silver Spring...
...He would go to Sears Roebuck on Colesville Road and I would go with him...
...The people supervising from e'trade are jolly and hard working and cheery even at the crack of dawn...
...What if these companies decided that they wouldn't make enough money under price controls t o make a profit on Relenza...
...Mail to: [ I ] I I ' ' A eric ' | ! , ' Spe&t0r , , I I | Subscriber Service | | EO...
...Someday you'll be a father and a husband, too, if God's kind...
...The robbers never entered the house," I said...
...Wham, a few moments later, my stomach was indeed upset...
...Hating to answer those questions is difficult work at best, and when I lose, it's impossibly trying...
...Whether it's purchasing their products or simply extending your good will, your positive response rewards these organizations for advertising in one of America's finest magazines, The American Spectator...
...Imagine the judges saying I put in too When I feel that low, it's a bad omen...
...I I I I I Renew my subscription for one year I (ten issues--S34.95) I O Payment enclosed I I s Bill me later I f3 At various times TAS rents its sub- I scriber lists to other organizations...
...Then I called Dr...
...In my mind, I am always thinking that I could be getting shot in an alley in Wroclaw by the SS, getting killed by overwork at a Stalinist Gulag, getting drowned in a well by Cossacks in a pogrom, or getting shot and gassed in a World War I trench...
...Give me your money," he said for the third time...
...I've been doing the show for three days now and have not lost any games...
...How could he know how to do it...
...Alex," I said, "I've just been robbed at gunpoint...
...Or else grown kids in the neighborhood, perhaps coming over for an autograph or to tell me how much they liked my show...
...It's my ESP telling me trouble lies ahead...
...Look down...
...It did have a powerful side effect of nausea, but Once that passed, whaam, I was rocking and rolling in the free world...
...I felt that way so strongly that I started to think about guns last night, which is always a bad sign...
...Then, as I recall, my mother would call us to a dinner of flank steak or meatloaf or herb-baked chicken, and Pop would not even brag a word about making those windows...
...panel meeting at the Western Cable Show on the future of cable and Intemet convergence...
...As I pulled in, a motion sensor light clicked on and I stopped the car and got out...
...Things are looking up...
...Night vision...
...We have had a major crisis...
...What a struggle to get checked in...
...Terry, the question man...
...Thank you for letting my Tommy boy lie next to me again...
...I handed him the keys...
...Instead, we'd watch my sister practice her cheers for Eastern Junior High...
...I got in with a stuffed dog, looked at the sky, and soon I was in dreamland...
...Good Lord, it's hard work...
...Forget the damned cat," I said...
...Complex genetically engineered designer drugs that can stop a deadly virus...
...Give me your money...
...What if they took my money and then just shot me...
...Would my son and my wife hear the shot and run out...
...I just want to tell you where all our important financial papers are," I said...
...Doing this infomercial is a lot like doing a movie...
...He had large, muscular forearms and biceps...
...I might be dying...
...The audience loves me because I ask the hard questions, if I may say so...
...By this time, I was terrified...
...I know it sounds crazy but too many crazy things have been happening...
...I awakened with uncontrollable shakes and shivering and a high fever...
...Now this...
...Give me your money," he said...
...Or, I could be in a cancer ward...
...I had been in New York and met Alex and Tommy at the airport...
...I see coyotes and people crossing the street illegally, cars parked with no lights...
...Plus, last season he had to work on the quiz show and "The Man Show" simultaneously...
...I read the warning sheet...
...Sometimes when my son or my wife say it's cold in the house, I tell them to put on a sweater and they look at me as ifI were crazy...
...Still, I am enjoying it...
...Give me your watch," he said...
...Why not harness it to prolong and enhance life...
...Pay to order of PNE...
...what ifI were about to die that very second...
...It's amazing...
...The blessing of being an American in a999 is always on my mind...
...Sunday ~ see on TV that it's bitterly cold in the misty east...
...Tm scared but I'm not hurt," I said...
...I am getting to be very fond of Dr...
...Frankly, I like signing autographs...
...Puppy-Wuppy dying...
...We are auditioning comedians and actors and wits every day...
...Instead, I lay in bed for hours feeling as if I would die...
...WHO CARES, IF IT GETS ME WELL...
...Tommy ran into the kitchen to watch his venison getting prepared...
...I was so angry I kicked over the safe where we keep our fake money for our winners...
...We have virtually no storms...
...BF.NIAMIN J. STY.IN is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Hollywood and Malibu...
...I think I'm unbelievably lucky to be able to defeat this flu, and this medicine does it for me for the price of a decent lunch...
...But instead, by the grace of God almighty, Lord of Hosts, I am watching a football game among the friendliest people on earth, Americans, and especially Southern Americans, and getting asked for autographs...
...Where will we ever find a replacement for Jimmy...
...I don't like feeling this way...
...I came to the door...
...I used to lie in bed at night and hear the wind howling down Harvey Road or up from Sligo Creek Park, note that it did not come into my room with its chocolate brown walls, and its storm windows, and think, "Pop has kept us warm with these windows...
...Would it hurt...
...It's not a coincidence that we have access to the best drugs...
...Why heat the whole house when you can wear a sweater...
...I guess they're on the cutting edge of the New Economy, and that makes them happy...
...Men, women, kids, everyone wanted an autograph...
...Alex generously rushed out to an allnight pharmacy...
...If Bill Clinton and Hillary want price controls, let them put price controls on contributions to the Democratic Party...
...I walked into the study with its twinkling year round Christrnas lights and called 911...
...My father dying...
...Then we did the show, and had a question about what the initials GMT stand for...
...Our cat, Artemis, escaped and ran away...
...Confident, sometimes subtle, sometimes crude, as quick as lightning, always helpful, always supportive...
...Sweat poured offme...
...Then he would slide a piece of glass into a sleeve of plastic, and then insert that into the aluminum housing he had made...
...My father said, "If it's cold, wear a sweater...
...C'est vrai...
...How could a company selling at $500 (say, Yahoo), with earnings of a few pennies per share, justify such a price...
...I already gave it to you," I said, my first words to them...
...I kept getting up and looking out the window at the sleeping city...
...How would my wife ever deal with him by herself...
...This is the least squeamish kid on earth...
...Some are good...
...Don't look at us...
...I startedto feel very sick through the night, and by the morning I was feeling awful...
...It's no accident that all the great drugs come because drug makers think they can make fortunes in the U.S...
...But I took yet another wonder drug, this one called TamiFlu, and it worked spectacularly...
...Here are the keys...
...It rides like a dream, has lots of power, and most of all, has night vision...
...Therefore, it is considered a purifier...
...My stomach is upset all the time anyway...
...Some are fiat...
...Along with the crude sounds I'm singing a song that I'm making up as I go along...
...That awful flu...
...PNP Shipping $5.95 for 1-6 bottles and $9.95 for 7-10 bottles...
...That can't be cheap...
...Convention Center, where next day I would moderate an 8 a.m...
...It's bitterly cold...
...I spend much of the dinners with him yelling at him to be more polite to the waiters and waitresses, but it does little good...
...Disc...
...I am determined not to be a constant nag to him, though...
...I'd still be feeling as if I were about to die...
...This product can be used safely in anyone including infants and people with illnesses and it has no contraindications to its use...
...Still later, I took another couple of whiffs...
...I could not sleep until two in the morning...
...I I i MOVING: I I " I I I I TASAddress Changes Made Easy...
...But I felt just as tired as can be...
...It is processed with distilled water and no preservatives for the specific use of eye washing...
...I walked around to the passenger side of the car and started to reach in for my heavy briefcase...
...I did my panel fine...
...The house did not want to be left alone...
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...We have started taping it again...
...Give us the rest of it," he said...
...I do not recall if they broke or got lost in the summer or if he just added to inventory year by year...
...He is doing commercials and has a Fox Sports gig...
...The police took the report and then came into the kitchen with me...
...Date Signature We also accept Money Orders and Checks...
...It's an inhalable anti-viral...
...Take it...
...It can be used when there are cataracts, glaucoma, pterygium or irritations...
...Our seats, alas, are right next to the Mississippi State band, which really knows how to make noise...
...Thank you, dear Lord, for the miracle gift of life...
...It's a great car...
...I walked rapidly into the house...
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...I have a great group of people around me: Al Burton, my best pal, executive producer and inventor of the show...
...In fact," he said, "there is something for flu...
...I worked all week on my show, and worked hard...
...Frankly, health is so vital that ifa Schering Plough or a Squibb makes a profit of hundreds of percent on every pill or shot or inhalation, and if it has to make that money to offset losses on drugs that never work, fine with me...
...I went to the garage and gave a report...
...I didn't hesitate a second...
...There's a crew and cast and we're all together for a while...
...Andrew Golder, who really runs the show, and is a genius...
...I owe him a lot, and when he decided he had to leave, I hardly fought him at all...
...After a four-show day, I was exhausted, drained, despairing...
...Maybe Alex would be looking for my insurance policy right now...
...I like feeling as if I'm recovering from my flu at last...
...I started to feel sick last night, by which I mean I felt very tired and depressed...
...They expect an audience of 4,ooo...
...Finally, we got in, met Col...
...The plan was to put me up a few blocks from the L.A...
...That whole part of the basement was often cold-until he had put up the storm windows...
...Box 549, Arlington, VA 22216-o549...
...They had come in from L.A...
...Send to Address listed above...
...Still, I can count on getting sick and tired and starting to lose...
...Denman, and had a lavish dinner...
...Can this be a true miracle drug...
...What's in there...
...I called Alex into my room...
...Then I took a shower feeling as if I would die...
...I just have a memory of it and I cry when I think of Pop and his storm windows, but I also feel warm-and then cold and alone...
...It's a bit cold here, too, but we do not have the snow that Wlady has been telling me about in Washington, D.C...
...A devastating flu...
...I Name: I (Please Prin0 | Address: I Date of change: I I I ! ! I VCAFRM I I - . . . . . . . . . . . . . J The American Spectator _9 Marc h 2 o o o 53...
...He pushed it away...
...He would make a fine surgeon...
...I was relieved...
...Would you like my car...
...How many blind alleys did the drug company have to go down to get this great stuff...
...Meredith Fox, exec in charge...
...One with MONY and one with Northwestern Mutual...
...He has done so much for my career and my state of mind I can barely express it, and I wish him nothing but success...
...The problem is that he thought his answers were serious...
...He and I quarreled sharply last year when I questioned why his TCI never made any profits and how it could be valued if it had no earnings...
...The Razorbacks won, and it was a great game, and I am so glad I live where I do when I do...
...How many centuries would it take for earnings to be, say, $25 a share, so Yahoo sold at a sane twenty times earnings...
...I like being on camera a lot...
...But in an hour, I felt distinctly better...
...The computers are not working...
...One of the men, the Hispanie, produced a huge automatic pistol, truly immense, and pointed it at me and then pointed it to the side...
...But what a gift from God that those robbers did not pull the trigger...
...I signed and signed, and then every so often went for a walk to the much better seats that my wife and mother-in-law were in...
...I invited Alex but she said she was not scared and wanted to stay in the house...
...We rented a huge van and loaded in our luggage...
...The profit system is the most powerful incentive machine there has ever been for human creativity...
...We have no storm windows on any of our many dwellings...
...Anyway, we got to Santa Barbara, home ofWlady Pleszczynski, walked around the wacky Farmer's Market, and asked people about trading on line...
...This year he's mellow and even humorous...
...Would I just lie there and bleed to death...
...This is how life 'spoze to be...
...Bang, another stomach upset, but then I felt still better...
...I am here with my wifie and son, the angels Alex and Tommy, and my wife's nephew, Matt, to visit my father-in-law, Col...
...In a file marked 'Financial 99.' I have two life insurance policies, too...
...One of them studied the incredibly intricate tile my wife had caused to be put in the kitchen at breathtaking expense...
...Then he would add joints that held the sides and top and bottom together, add the top, and bang, he had a homemade storm window...
...One drop inside each eye at bedtime will draw toxic accumulations outside of the eyes...
...It's my ESP telling me trouble lies ahead...
...The Ping-Pong table was green with many holes in it where we had once installed electric trains...
...It has a lens in the grille and somehow some mechanism greatly enhances the light ahead of the car so I can see in the dark...
...Phone: 7o3-z43-3733, ext...
...Denman had put us men next to the noisy band and given the women, who could hardly have cared less about the game, the good seats...
...The way weJews, gentiles, whites, blacks, Hispanics, Asians, men, women, children-live in this country is beyond belief...
...Now other people live in that house...
...As I'm singing and "playing" the guitar, I'm being filmed, others in the Winnebago are appreciating me, and rm getting paid...
...I lay in bed sweating, feeling feverish, cheated, frustrated, lost...
...If I you prefer that your name not be I I rented, please check here...
...She came back soon thereafter with a mysterious little package of inhaler and capsules under the odd name Relenza...
...Maybe more...
...Well, really I'm just hitting the strings of the guitar...
...It tells me I have fans, and that therefore I might be able to pay my mortgage for another month...
...Jimmy was a spectacularly good-not good, great - co-host...
...52 March 20 o o _9 The American Spectator Then we would go home...
...The floors in that part of the basement were a smooth cement, and they were cold in winter...
...It's not about not having the money to pay the gas bill," I told Tommy recently...
...Now I've left it alone and it's angry...
...You're welcome to it...
...What if the Clintonistas had price controls in effect for drugs...
...Bones, the stage manager...
...Get in the car," he said...
...There is a little "heads up" display right on the windshield, and I can see about a quarter mile, maybe a little more, ahead of me...
...I I 1. Please write your new address in I | the space provided...
...Still, later on, after Alex had fallen asleep, Tommy and I stayed Up and watched a scary movie...
...When I get home I am going straight to bed...
...If they haven't shot me yet, they probably won't, I thought...
...This is living...
...They were already starting to walk backwards out of the garage...
...By the time the session was done, I was too...
...Denman, his wife, Sue, and their families in Little Rock, and to watch an Arkansas-Mississippi State football game...
...I can still recall the smell of dust and metal shavings, recall my father swearing when he cut something too long or short, recall his intense concentration as he worked...
...Hint: Why can't the rental car companies ask their lot men, who are often just lounging about gossiping, to help us customers with our luggage...
...I, your servant, am in the crowd at the UALR stadium shouting it...
...I'm not kidding," I said...
...Profit makes it happen...
...I am not a strong person, and I get colds and flu and colitis readily...
...Tommy said he was scared...
...It's a space-age safety feature I need...
...Then, offto the Capital Hotel, an old, beautifully renovated structure in the little town that is Little Rock...
...They were gone...
...They're downstairs at the beach...
...Why do you waste space and air and water when you do not even deserve to be alive...
...Yes, that's the Arkansas Razorback Hogs cheer...
...It's in respect to thrift...
...A grinning, cheery black chef posed for Tommy with his chef's hat...
...I'm at such and such an address," I said...
...I want the drug companies to feel as if they're going to make trillions on drugs that save lives and make people healthier...
...The sky on the way back was a rich blue...
...a new, unobtrusive sound man named Mike, which is sort of funny, since his job is to mike me, and everyone else...
...But today we stayed late and did not one but two run-throughs with potential cohosts...
...A genius of comedy in his own realm, far beyond anyone else I have ever seen...
...Why just throw it away in favor of Bolshevism...
...I was shaking...
...I sat down in the car and faced away from them...
...When I start to feel sick, I feel suicidally depressed...
...Even that's a high ratio...
...Oh, I'm just looking because you've done such great stuffwith your file...
...Box 1120 Blue Springs, MO 64013-1120 Name Address City State Zip For Credit Card Orders Call Toll Free: 877-238-8481 MC Visa Credit Card No...
...I am back at my show...
...Advertiser Page # American Spectator Online p. 9 Blackstone Audio Books p. 9 Bose Corporation p. 3 Classifieds p. 71 I-.L.A.M.E...
...your husband has just been robbed at the point of a gun...
...I waited a few seconds and then I looked around...
...He never, and I mean never, exercised, so I think he must have just inherited them from his father, a cavalryman and worker on the line at GE and Ford Motor...
...I I 2. Attach the mailing label from your I ] most recent issue...
...Sort of the mirror opposite of the "job" of serving as Prince Tommy Stein...
...So he rightly feels that he should not have to be overwhelmed with working on "Win Ben Stein's Money" when he could work on his own efforts...
...Heavy emphasis here: This is true very much in the South...
...I turn it offand think of a different world, when a Dad was a husband-a Hoos-Band, the man of the house, which he protected by making storm windows by hand, then putting them up and then reading and writing articles about fiscal policy...
...Still, I enjoyed the game a lot...
...I handed him my immense wallet, filled mostly with encouraging notes and photos of my family...
...he asked, pointing at my briefcase...
...Modem Southern America has all the friendliness of the old South, only now it's to everyone, with the openness and opportunity of booming 1999 America...
...I handed the briefcase to him...
...Look down...
...I was filmed as I did...
...The problem is that we now have to replace him and that will not be easy...
...Next to that was the porcelain-white water heater, which we also seem to have drained on occasion to do something I do not recall...
...I've just been robbed at gunpoint...
...He was a man of foresight, so he would actually start probably when the maples began to change along Sligo Creek Parkway...
...I took off my inexpensive Seiko watch and handed it to him...
...He said that Yahoo would make money very fast by getting paid infinitesimal fractions of a cent for searches and fees for ordering compact discs and movies...
...They walked so confidently that I thought maybe they were workmen who had stayed late to ask me a question...
...A few days ago, when I relapsed, I thought I was done for--once again...
...By then I felt deathly ill, the computers still did not work, and I went home...
...He would set up a vise on the edge of the Ping-Pong table --we had room in our basement for a Ping-Pong table...
...How can he know how to do all this different stuff...
...Malone...
...Waiting tables has to be one of the most horrible, painful, thankless jobs there is...
...You can make a difference for The American Spectator by patronizing its advertisers...
...I'll let my wife be that...
Vol. 33 • March 2000 • No. 2
