Public Nuisances: The Worst Book of the Year
Tyrrell, R. Emmett Jr.
Toobin's Vast Con Wins Coogler! by R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr. The Worst Book of the Year It is my pleasant duty to confer the J. Gordon Coogler Award for the Worst Book of 1999 to young Jeffrey...
...Finally, the fact that all Democrats opposed Clinton's impeachment and most Republicans favored it constitutes evidence of extreme partisanship, which is to say extreme partisanship by the Republicans...
...It still harbors Nazi bigwigs, who found welcome there after the World War...
...Remember the time she approached "the Big Creep" on a rope line and goosed him...
...That Clinton is a rogue Toobin himself demonstrates, citing numerous examples of ethical violations by the president and identifying his dealings with women and with prosecutors as variously "shabby," "sleazy," and characterized by "sustained dishonesty...
...Well, here is one of Toobin's erroneous statements that we may put to civilization's advantage...
...Admittedly the Puritan Toobin expurgates much of the saga's funniest stuff, but even the stuffhe reports should have agitated his funny bone...
...Those choke points are defensible and made possible the repulse of 1400 Syrian tanks that attacked Israel in the 1973 war...
...If the historians' revisions of the Kennedy record by the 199o's had become a blizzard, the historical revisionism of the Clinton administration will be seen as an ice age and the snow fall will commence the day the ex-president leaves Washington for Reno...
...Berkeley CA 94706 that even here at The American Spectator we have only provided a whiff of the corruption...
...The Golan is the source of over one-third of Israel's f r e s h w a t e r . In 1964, w i t h t h e Golan in S y r i a n hands, Syria attempted to divert these headwaters and to cripple Israel's water supply...
...Imagine the hilarity if he had been nuts...
...The aged Senator Strom Thurmond had just shaken their hands and said, "Two turds...
...Yet historians, being the sober scholars that they are, will probably fail to elaborate on the most unusual aspect of the Clinton Era...
...Then too, twelve months from now there will have accumulated so many additional bad books to honor...
...Laura...
...When he gets to Filegate he depreciates an ominous police action as "the unauthorized receipt of about three hundred [actually over 9oo-RET] confidential FBI files by lowlevel officials in the Clinton White House [actually the head of White House personnel security had the files -- RET] ." Toobin's allergy towards facts is incurable...
...What could he mean...
...Given Clinton's libidinous reputation spanning decades, is Blumie not the perfect fool...
...And not until the book's very end does he report Judge Wright's citation of the Boy President for contempt of court...
...Possibly some were, but the only flesh-eating hatred that Toobin chronicles is borne by the Clintons, as when Hillary makes her paranoid appearance on the "Today" show, where she attributes her husband's problems to "a vast right-wing conspiracy," and after which she fumes to Arkansas pal Harry Thomason, "I guess that will teach them to f--k with us...
...Something's gotta give...
...We've politely approached a Sex Ed teacher in a Catholic school who's peddling "gay-is-good," only to be scolded for being out of step with the times...
...M a i l t 0 : NEW OXFORD REVIEW Room 512 1069 Kains Ave...
...It has often been the Clintons' arrogant rush to anger that caused their scandals...
...Yes, the Boy President's behavior was lamentable, but Toobin forgives it by reverting to another of the Kultursmog's clich6s: "political animus and greed were the salient motivators for everyone involved" in pursuing the Clintons...
...18 Marc h 2 o o o _9 The American Spectator Syria's president, Hafez Assad, has apparently "consented to discuss peace" with Israel's Prime Minister Ehud Barak, provided that Mr...
...His thesis that Bill Clinton was martyred by the Knights of Columbus will draw blank stares...
...We at the NEW OXFORD REVIEW, an orthodox lay-Catholic monthly magazine with an international audience, are published out of Berkeley, so we've seen fads and delusions galore...
...This Toobin establishes by eliding over or deleting the White House's repeated lies to Congress and to prosecutors, plus the administration's refusals to comply with subpoenas...
...Its purpose is the research and publication of the facts regarding developments in the Middle East and exposing false propaganda that might harm the interests of the United States and its allies in that area of the world .Your tax-deductible contributions are welcome...
...The Worst Book of the Year It is my pleasant duty to confer the J. Gordon Coogler Award for the Worst Book of 1999 to young Jeffrey Toobin, author of A Vast Conspiracy: The Real Story of the Sexual Scandal That Nearly Brought Down a President...
...On the Golan itself, there are only two natural terrain bottlenecks through which tanks can advance...
...A Vast Con's copyright page says "1999...
...On the other hand, Random House claims that the book was published in January 2000...
...By then he will have returned to oblivion...
...Few doubt that he was the mastermind and final a u t h o r i t y in the suicide attack on the Marine barracks in Beirut in which 241 Americans died, and in the explosion of Pan Am flight #103 in which 270 people lost their lives...
...They want to write a book...
...Reminiscent of Monica's reign of terror in the White House, Ginsburg dominates all Washington for months...
...And then these dissenters, who brush us off, have the gall to accuse the Holy See of being "arrogant," "authoritarian," and "unj = | ^ willing to listen" when it disci^ plines flagrant subversives...
...Meanwhile, bleeding hearts call for "dialogue with the dis senters...
...Its amusing pratfalls, ridiculous personae, and unprecedented verbal preposterosities make the Harding administration appear positively Victorian...
...Sample copy $3.50 -> Our prices are so low because you can't pay by credit card and payment must accompany order...
...Described by National Review as "first-rate" and by Cardinal Law as "a sign of hope in the Church today," we're out here on the front lines, having a jolly good time confronting heresy and dissent...
...As for the Clintons' entanglements with shaky real estate deals, bankrupted savings and loans, sexual harassment, campaign...
...Actually, we've got two different religions coexisting unpeacefully in one Church...
...I mean it was fun...
...Military Security--The Golan is the size of the New York borough of Queens, about 10 miles wide, with a plateau on either side of a ridge...
...Almost all of our revenue pays for our educational work, for these clarifying messages, and for related direct mail...
...Nonetheless, Toobin, in the pretentious familiarity of a cultural insider, calls Clinton a "good guy...
...You're two turds...
...Syria, as a political entity, did not exist at all until after the first World War...
...Was it published in 1999 or 2000...
...Send letter or this coupon with check payable to NEW OXFORD REVIEW...
...Give us a break...
...In time historians and superior journalists will expose this administration's excesses, excesses that Senator Orrin Hatch recently pronounced as being without historic parallel...
...Catholicism is a revealed religion, not a concocted one, and our Lord gave authority to St...
...Toobin ignores the administration's destruction of evidence and its illegal use of government agencies, such as the IRS, against private citizens...
...He calls the prosecutors at the Northern Virginia hotel where they are holding the sobbing Monica...
...Oh, Dr...
...Yes~ i want to help the publication of these ads and in clarifying the situation in the Middle East...
...We've calmly discussed a New Agey textbook with a Director of Religious Ed, only to be informed that we're unqualified to have an opinion because we don't have a master's degree in "Religious Studies" from the local diploma mill...
...He ministers to troubled people all the time...
...He does not say...
...He sneers at times but misses all the comic splendor...
...Cultural historians might someday dispute the timing of this Coogler...
...On the one side are Scripture, Tradition, Magisterium, and Papacy...
...My name is I live at In State _ _ Zip Mail to : FLAME, P.O...
...ambassador, throwing temper tantrums before members of the Secret Service, and collapsing in puddles of tears for all to see...
...I want to help people...
...With the Golan in Israeli hands, attacking Arabs could be confident of defeat and peace would be p r e s e r v e d . To hand the Golan to Syria is a p r e s c r i p t i o n for war and for I s r a e l ' s d e s t r u c t i o n . This ad has been published and paid for by Facts and Logic about the Middle East P.O...
...In order to survive within such borders, Israel would have to rely on the goodwill of the Arab states, most of which--with the recent exception of Jordan and of the cold peace with Egypt--are still in a declared or undeclared state of war with Israel...
...As with so many other putative facts in his book, even Toobin's publishing date is gas...
...While standing in a reception line after the Boy President's 1999 State of the Union speech, the two Clintons are "baffled by the hostility they engendered...
...As the FBI report notes, she reached "to squeeze the President's penis...
...By comparison, Lucianne Goldberg and Linda Tripp seem merely impolite...
...And he accosts prosecutor Jackie Bennett with "You motherf--king, c--ksucking, c--t...
...As the din outside the White House intensifies, he consoles his crestfallen leader, "You're president, and these troubled people can just get you in incredible messes, and you just...you have to cut yourself off from them...
...But with the Golan in Syrian hands, and without the radar installations that would give Israel warning of any military movements, thous a n d s of tanks-backed up by m i s s i l e s and airplanes-could overrun Israel in a matter of hours...
...Syria's President, Hafez Assad, is a tyrant, every bit as ruthless and cunning as his Iraqi counterpart, Saddam Hussein...
...My guess is 16 M a r c h 2 o o o _9 The American Spectator We're Battling Heresy & Dissent on the Front Lines There's a civil war going on in the Catholic Church today...
...Faced with such a cast of Dogberries and Falstaffs as Monica Lewinsky, William Ginsburg, the Arkansas cronies, Sidney Blumenthal, Hillary, and the "Big Creep" himself, Toobin can only render gloomy sermons about "greed" and the "desire to write books about the president's sex life...
...He oversees one of the largest narcotics operations in the world...
...Barak agrees to start negotiations where (allegedly) the late Prime Minister Rabin left off four years ago...
...The Golan Heights were ceded to Syria...
...This genial appellation is what one expects from Toobin and his fellow hacks up there in the Kultursmog, pumping out clich6s that define our era within the media, though without benefit of reality...
...Astonishingly and regrettably, Mr Barak seems to have agreed to this presumptuous imposition...
...What motivated the Clintons' defenders he does not say...
...Its loss would obligate Israel to stay on constant alert and to maintain a state of readiness and mobilization that would be economi c a l l y and s o c i a l l y u n t e n a b l e . The Golan, which ranges up to a height of 2300 ft., dominates the Jordan Valley, the lowest point on earth about 700 ft...
...Hours later, after their impetuous anger subsided, the Clintons concluded that the Southern gentleman had actually said "Two-thirds...
...Toobin's tired rationalization for Clinton is that, though ethically nonchalant, the president did nothing "illegal...
...Her bosom and genitalia always at hand...
...Toobin missed it all...
...And what was her reaction after the president used her body as a cigar humidor...
...If it were part of Syria it would be less than 1% of its t e r r i t o r y . But it is of a supreme strategic importance to Israel...
...It is more than likely that, given another opportunity, Syria would once again attempt to destroy Israel's water supply...
...An aggressor will attack only if confident of victory...
...This can't go on forever...
...Peter and his successor popes to guard that revelation from fads and delusions...
...It's very difficult for me to do that," the boss replies, "given how I am...
...All were shows of anger that made impeachment almost inevitable...
...Yet first and foremost has been their turpitude...
...Strom's FBI file need not be brought out...
...There is one final comic moment that illuminates most of the scandals that the Clintons got themselves into in Washington...
...Much the same could be said of Gibbon...
...Join us in the wild battle for the soul of Catholicism by subscribing today...
...On the other side are those dissenters and heretics who, with the amplification of the powerful secular media, are pressuring the Church to give in to radical feminism, abortion, fornication, shacking-up, homo sexual activity, same-sex "marriage," assisted sui cide, raunchy sex ed, New Age spins on spirituality, etc...
...Our President was merely "ministering" to a "troubled" girl, she explained...
...Monica Lewinsky might well be remembered as the valedictorian of this nation's sex education program...
...Its main fury is directed against Israel, which is perceived as a bulwark of Western influence and civilization, both of which Syria totally rejects...
...Out in Los Angeles Ginsburg is told by Bernie Lewinsky, another buffoon, that Monica is in "some kind of trouble...
...She fellated the fully-clothed president while he discussed war in Bosnia with a member of Congress and other matters with his political advisers...
...You will find it in A Vast Con worded thus: "No other major political controversy in American history produced as few heroes as this one...
...Historical Background--The Golan was always part of the Jewish homeland...
...Working with his wife and Sidney Blumenthal, the three composed a sophisticate's version of the Three Stooges...
...below sea level...
...I trust you so much...
...It would be a strategically impossible situation, especially for a c o u n t r y as small as I s r a e l - s m a l l e r than Lake Michigan, smaller by half than San Bernardino County in California...
...Who knows...
...I include my tax-deductible contribufion in the amount of $ /49D [3 My contribution is in the amount of $100 or more...
...BOX CITY STATE ZIP • One-year non-U.S...
...She was ever available for presidential "phone sex...
...It was not until her third sexual encounter with the president that he was off the telephone...
...The president's adversaries appeared literally consumed with hatred...
...It is classified by the U.S...
...Blumie's response...
...and sex is a private matter even when undertaken during office hours in the Oval Office...
...Most of the Kultursmog's other clich6s are here too...
...With Vatican II documents under our arm, many of us have engaged a blatantly heretical pastor in dialogue, only to be put down for not understanding "the spirit" of Vatican II...
...A Vast Con's sub-thesis is that "the most astonishing fact in this story may be this one: in spite of his consistently reprehensible behavior, Clinton was, by comparison, the good guy in this struggle...
...subscription US$24 (regularly $29) Payment must be drawn in U.S...
...He appears on all five Sunday gab shows in one day--a first...
...Toobin quotes from her autobiography, "she realized she had fallen in love...
...As with so many other Coogler Laureates, Toobin also offers implausible theses, pedestrian writing, and the prejudices of a country-crossroads lout...
...Looking back on his days of rage, this singular figure ofL.A, highjinks declaimed "Mike Wallace is like a father to me...
...T oobin has earned his Coogler on the usual grounds...
...Well, he has the date of our piece right, but the following Tuesday would have to be December 22, and for some reason he completely misses the role CNN's interviews with the troopers played on the intervening Sunday...
...finance violations, curious technology transfers, and an impeachment-the blame reposes not with the Clintons but with a devious band of"extremists...
...Barbara, Wolf, and Cokie kept me sane...
...Box 590359, San Francisco, CA 94159...
...There was Monica, the Beverly Hills ditz in the size lZ dress, bestriding the White House, monopolizing some of the president's closest advisers, in meetings with his U.N...
...And his hero, the ithyphallic forty-second president of the United States, will be in therapy, divorce court, or lecturing on sexual dysfunction on an Arizona fat farm...
...What are the facts...
...State Department as a narcotics-dealing and t e r r o r i s t state...
...Cardinal Newman said, "some authority there must be if there is a revelation given...
...Under Assad, Syria is a world center for terrorism...
...In 1923, in an Anglo/French greatpower play, the border between Syria and what was then called Palestine was established...
...Its corruption notwithstanding, it is a comic masterpiece...
...The Golan does not make for perfect defense, but it gives Israel a small breathing space for mobilization...
...Even b e f o r e t h e e s t a b - l i s h m e n t o f I s r a e l in 1948, the Syrians, having h e a v i l y f o r t i f i e d t h e a r e a , s u b j e c t e d t h e v i l - l a g e s in n o r t h e r n I s r a e l to almost daily s h e l l i n g s , making normal life i m p o s s i b l e . In the 1967 SixDay War, Syria a t t a c k e d I s r a e l and was d e f e a t - e d . I s r a e l occupied t h e Golan Heights and in 1981, for a l l p r a c t i c a l purposes annexed them...
...Please send me your videotape on three important aspects of Israel's strategic situation, fiery speeches by Yasser Arafat, and some memorable moments with Louis Farrakhan...
...In its keen desire to bring peace to its people, after more than fifty years of war and bloodshed, Israel has been prepared to make far-reaching concessions to Syria on the Golan, in exchange for reaI peace...
...He accords this presidential first just one paragraph...
...Dollars...
...I will kill you...
...Why wait a year to have fun at his expense...
...Asked by a prosecutor how they can be sure that Ginsburg is Monica's lawyer, the Falstaff of this drama responds, "Because, you miserable c--ksucking motherf--ker, I tell you I'm her lawyer...
...Its high ground provides e a r l y - w a r n i n g c a p a b i l i t y , w i t h o u t which Israel-just as in 1948, in 1967, and in 1973-would be subject to surprise attack by the Syrians...
...With the Golan in Israeli hands, attacking Arabs could be confident of defeat and peace would be preserved...
...Box 590359 _9 San Francisco, CA 94159 FLAME is a tax-exempt, non-profit educational 501(c)(3) organization...
...He's done it dozens if not hundreds of times, He does it out of religious conviction...
...Until then it was just a n o t h e r province in the Ottoman empire, with illdefined borders...
...We'll put you in fighting trim...
...At one point he moaned to her, "Why do they have to take you away from me...
...The president was almost as comic...
...As the perfect student of every sex education class she ever took, she told prosecutors: "There was always a lot of joking going on between us...
...The Syrian claim to the Golan is tenuous...
...But the transgression that scooted him beyond all contenders for the 1999 Coogler-including Gall Sheehy and a vanity press memoir about celebrity refrigerators--is Toobin's utter humorlessness...
...But it is hoped that even Ehud Barak, Israel's recently-elected prime minister, will not be prepared to give up all of the Golan high ground and to return to the "death trap" borders of 1967, or anything close to them...
...Toobin even reports the antics of the sublime William Ginsburg with nary a laugh...
...They regret that the White House has been taken over by a rogue...
...Please allow 2 to 8 weeks for delivery of first issue...
...Remember the absurd clich6 that one heard during the martyrdom of Boy Clinton about the ignobility of it all...
...Hey, we, the orthodox laity, have been there, done that...
...He has a few drinks...
...Reporters who accurately reported Clinton's abuse of power were "Clintonhaters," as were duly appointed prosecutors and almost anyone else who discomfited the Clintons, save Judge Susan Webber Wright, whom Toobin esteems Solomonic...
...To hand the Golan to Syria is a prescription for war and for Israel's destruction...
...Or when Bill radiates his hatred for Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr, or on the advice of Hillary, pursues the Jones suit and importunes his lawyers to humiliate Jones in cross examination...
...He runs up admirable bills at plush restaurants...
...We were very compatible sexually...he was sort of my sexual soul mate...
...On January 21, 1998, as "Monicagate" reverberates through the land, Hillary takes the gullible Blumie aside...
...Syria and i t s President--Syria is the most destabilizing influence in the Middle East...
...For instance, he claims that The American Spectator's first Troopergate piece came out Friday, December 18 with the Los Angeles Times's trooper story coming out the following Tuesday, "December 21...
...I just felt very connected to him when it came to those kinds of things...
...We have v/rmally no overhead...
...Ginsburg fears she is suspected of espionage (for whom, Victoria's Secret...
...They'll never get twothirds...
...What a deception...
...Through the entire saga, from Paula's incunabular squeaks ("He assed me to kiss ea-yit") to the president's final selfpitying blubber, Toobin never laughs...
...They enable us to pursue these goals and to publish these messages in national newspapers and magazines...
...Even the FBI could not control her...
...A house divided against itself cannot stand...
...Toobin insists that the martyred president's impeachment was all about sex, nothing else...
...SPECIAL DISCOUNT RATES FOR FIRST-TIME SUBSCRIBERS • One-year subscription $14 (regularly $19) • One-year student, unemployed, or retired person's subscription $12 (regularly $16) • Two-year subscription $23 (regularly $35) NAME (Please print or type) STREET ADDRESS OR P.O...
...Errors abound...
Vol. 33 • March 2000 • No. 2
