The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS No more guns; political animals; weather watchers 0 S 0 0 All in a month's work: Depending on who was doing the counting, and bragging about it, in May NATO a.k.a. the...
...In entertainment land, Ms...
...In New Zealand, a parliamentary committee threw out a bill that would have extended human rights protections to great apes...
...Walter Short, the commanders of Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, who took the blame for the loss of more than 2,400 American lives that day...
...What would a decline in the stock market do to your stocks, mutual funds and retirement accounts...
...Jackson from releasing his own version of "That's Amore...
...Here's another secret our strategic partners in the PRC might want to file in their supercomputers: The U.S...
...Wesley Clark, whose mad bombing of Yugoslavia has had as many people calling for his head as for Slobodan Milosevic's...
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...At least in Poland outré behavior remains just that: Rock star Krzysztof Skiba, lead singer of the group Big Cyc, was fined $308 for indecent exposure...
...According to Dr...
...It appears his school's archaic dress code had not foreseen cross-dressing...
...Brad Hauter, 33, is mowing his way across the USA...
...Tight clothes increase the pressure on the abdomen," the good doctor discovered...
...It's not known who funded the study...
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...Spike Lee, the midget New York Knicks fan, urged that NRA President Charlton Heston be shot...
...William Dickey, a Londonderry gastroenterologist, tight-fitting designer clothes are causing illness in many women...
...In GOP developments, researchers in Australia have concluded that the trunk of an elephant was once a snorkel that helped the animal's early ancestors swim—which must explain why Republicans are always so ready to take a dive...
...When he called police for help in removing them, they discovered the sap was wanted on an outstanding warrant...
...Valued at $7.5 million before the attack, the painting could now attract twice that, at least among the chichi crowd that buys its designer jeans ragged and ripped— assuming these folks stay healthy...
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...On May 25, the U.S...
...Army has recognized witchcraft as a religion and appointed chaplains to conduct services on at least five bases...
...Known as Wiccans, these believers will be accorded the same privileges as practitioners of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam...
...Hillary Rodham Clinton refer to "the world's four great religions...
...Fans hope this setback won't deter Mr...
...not to mention the occasional provincial civilian-occupied street or house and its Serbian inhabitants or scores of Kosovar Albanians sleeping amid their tractors, which in the dead of night sure looked a lot like tanks from 20,000 feet...
...Not like the 23-year-old waiter in Chandler, Arizona, who got to playing with a pair of handcuffs without a key...
...Ken Phillips...
...Inflation crept back into the U.S...
...Now it's universally regarded as an act of love and a selfless peace gesture...
...It's unclear whether these forecasters will include the present wife of President Vaclav Havel, or future in-laws of the British royal family...
...In Madrid, Spain, five women protested NATO's Balkan policies by stripping naked and flashing signs in front of a line of taxpayers waiting to contribute to the war effort...
...Now he's as safe and snug in his job as Bill and Madeleine and Janet and Sandy are in theirs...
...To his credit, the fellow knew better than to turn himself in...
...NATO has yet to react...
...Since the structure does not conform to disabilities act standards, the ascent was rather bumpy...
...In Britain a Murdoch tabloid published a somewhat revealing photo of Miss Sophie RhysJones, Prince Edward's forthcoming bride, and a commercial Czech television channel is going ahead with plans to feature unclothed weather people, who in the event of an approaching cold front will perform the opposite of a strip tease...
...The police chief of Bunnell, Florida, was fired after telling his officers, "Let's go and arrest some brown asses," when everybody knows there are no donkeys in the region...
...At a music awards show, he had bared his backside at the country's democratically elected prime minister...
...In Rome, Italy, Mr...
...In North Brookfield, Massachusetts, seven promsters were left stranded at the curb when police arrested the chauffeur of their limo for driving under the influence...
...nervous about the stock market...
...I.R.A...
...On May r8 he reached McDonald, Kansas, 3,367 Guinness Book miles into his ro miles-an-hour sitdown-mower drive that is expected to conclude in Santa Monica, California, sometime next millennium, give or take a few calls from ChemLawn...
...The restoration upset the distinguished military historian Stephen Ambrose, who rued the disappearance of accountability in public life...
...But great news for gun-controllers...
...Spring slowly gave way to summer...
...Meanwhile, not every designated driver proved reliable...
...Michael Jackson was fined $2,270 for plagiarizing I Cigni di Balaka, a song composed by Al Bano Carrisi which in Jackson's quick hands became "Will You Be There...
...Senate voted 52-47 to restore full rank to the late Admiral Husband Kimmel and Gen...
...The previous record was 747 steps, negotiated by a Spanish cyclist inside a Barcelona high-rise some years ago...
...Did you know that if your funds are in the stock market, your principle is at risk...
...Larry Flynt will again be allowed to hawk Hustler magazine at his Cincinnati store that doubles as a DNC affiliate...
...In Indianapolis, a federal judge ordered that a male high-school senior be allowed to attend his school's event in the tux of his choice, which happened to be a black gown...
...Pre-Columbine, such incitement would have been thought a hate crime...
...Rosie O'Donnell assaulted machoman Tom Selleck without resorting to any firearm more dangerous than her lovely mouth...
...Chinese and other embassies and ambassadorial residences...
...S.E.P...
...As post-Columbine America moves to disarm all card-carrying members of the National Rifle Association, it can point with pride to the Kosovo front, where U.S...
...Only he was in jail at the time...
...But it comes just in time for Gen...
...What would you say to: Your Principal is...
...Javier Zapata rode his bike up 76o stairs in the Coltejer office building in Medellin, Colombia...
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...Another record was broken when Mr...
...economy due to higher oil prices, but nowhere near as much A Rosie is a Rosie is a Rosie is a pain Picture the Princess Bride 8 July 1999 • The American Spectator as in the art world, where a Picasso oil on permanent display at Amsterdam's Stedelijk Museum of Modern Art was slashed by a an escaped mental patient wielding a knife...
...hospitals, maternity wards, and recovery rooms...
...the United States of America flew somewhere between io,000 and 20,000 "sorties" over the Hitlerian bunkers of Yugoslavia, destroying bridges and the remains of bridges already destroyed...
...electric-power plants, water-pumping stations, and telephone networks...
...It is very easy for others to resent us and to mistake our motives," Commander Bill Clinton, the architect of this winning strategy, told Democratic donors on May 12...
...Maturity dates may vary...
...We took them off like he asked," said Sgt...
...Not good news for the Tappan Zee or Golden Gate, or any owner of a John Deere product...
...forces have defiantly refused to utilize a single NRA-approved lock, stock, or barrel, preferring instead to rely on childproof bombs, missiles, and laser guidance...
...From all indications, then, he's arguing that America deserves to be punished by NATO planes no less than Serbia...
...It's what you call a permissive environment...
...According to a Pentagon spokesman, an estimated ioo witches attend covens at Fort Hood, Texas, home to 42,000 troops...
...More money than ever was spent on this year's senior proms, some of it for the best legal advice...
...WP Sky King and Supreme Commander Are you like most people...
...Soon enough we'll hear Ms...
...In other Democratic news, after paying a $10,000 fine Mr...
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...But "because of our history of slavery," he urged humility, particularly "because we too are guilty of cleansing when the American people pushed the native American tribes off their lands...
Vol. 32 • July 1999 • No. 7
