The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS Pep rally impeachment; in like Flynt; bull's eyes December passed and took all of 1998 with it. Next year December will take an entire century with it. How piggish can we...
...Paula Corbin Jones, New York parking-lot tycoon Mr...
...Protesting the fate of the redwood's forest, Miss Butterfly has turned the base of her tree into a city dump and may be evicted if health authorities have their way...
...They speak of "sexual McCarthyism," which sounds very much like sex by association or sex under every bed — a nonsense...
...Liberals, however, suffered a wave of hysteria, comparable in intensity to the Vietnam war or "Nuclear Winter...
...Call today...
...The president went golfing...
...In Rushville, Illinois, Mr...
...Polls showed steady approval of him, though also steady distrust, disesteem, and widespread desire to censure the dreadful cad...
...Archie Moore, the great American prize fighter, passed away, as did Miss Hazel Bishop, inventor of kiss-proof lipstick...
...From Academe, Professor Sean Wilentz, a historian, prophesied that history would "track down" those congressmen who voted impeachment...
...Shortly after the House voted two articles of impeachment the Clintons, the Gores, and various Democratic members of Congress gathered on the White House lawn...
...informed the House Judiciary Committee's impeachment inquiry that those who would vote against President Clinton were sinners—the bad kind, not the good kind...
...So we're ready to prove it...
...He also fired off a very frosty New Year's message to President Clinton after American forces bombed Iraq...
...Fifty-eight percent of the citizenry also expressed hope that, if impeached by the House of Representatives, he would decorously resign...
...CNN reported this display of athleticism a birdie...
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...Vice President Al Gore called the corpse "one of our greatest presidents...
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...On December 17 the Duma approved a motion that read: "The State Duma appeals to Ms...
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...There was the usual legal bickering over public Nativity scenes, but in Weatherford, Texas, atheist Mr...
...But the Bose Acoustic Wave music system is definitely an overachiever...
...In Hagerstown, Maryland, Mr...
...During spaceflight the accumulating piles of soiled underpants increase a spacecraft's weight, and, frankly, make interpersonal relationships testy even among the best of friends...
...Scott Anders, 22, was found guilty of first-degree assault for attempting to take back the breast implants that he had given his girlfriend, Miss Ramona Albertson, after they had been implanted...
...At Renaissance Weekend, where hundreds of his wunderkind friends were talking about their problems, he golfed...
...The Clinton administration continued to press its demands for access to a North Korean site suspected of being part of a renewed nuclear weapons program...
...Clinton's life...
...Iraq's President Sad-dam Hussein claimed immediate victory over the American bombardment, pointing out that he lost several important military installations, civilian buildings, and hundreds of casualties...
...On the first tee he completely missed his first ball and flubbed the next three...
...Finally the excitement felt by Mrs...
...Better tha were Ro t my name bert Peel 8 February 1999 • The American Spectator The Russian space program remains vigorous and on the cutting edge...
...In London the House of Lords ordered a new hearing for General Augusto Pinochet...
...Liberalism is becoming a life-threatening condition...
...Flynt may be hoping to acquire the rights to Mr...
...On December 5 he was arrested for hunter harassment...
...At mid-month he rose from his sickbed and fired his chief of staff, Mr...
...In Stafford, California, Miss Julia Butterfly ended her first year of living on a plywood platform high atop a redwood...
...In Moscow Dr...
...The media described it as a "pep rally...
...Larry Flynt, the publisher, vowed to expose sexy Republicans and immediately caused Congressman Bob Livingston to retire from the Congress and his presumed role as House speaker...
...Hillary Rodham Clinton's fans when the Gallup Poll announced her America's most admired woman faded...
...Valentin Yumashev, and three deputies...
...The impeachment of the ithyphallic president, who has presided over more scandals than the entire family of deceased President Ferdinand Marcos, was coolly ignored by the average Americano...
...How piggish can we get...
...And that poll was never mentioned again...
...I teach at Princeton, wanna know my opinion...
...Flynt's main property, Hustler, is a pornographic magazine, and Mr...
...To be sure, his last name cannot help his cause and may even have landed him in this dreadful pickle...
...For information on all our products: www.bose.com/g4343 Mr./Mrs./Ms...
...Conservatives rejoiced, albeit sedately...
...Tim Sullivan has denied his vegetarianism had anything to do with the loud music he blared from his rural home at the height of deer season...
...The Clinton supporter who tried to pay off Mrs...
...We know that's hard to believe...
...Because, like the system itself, it is available directly from Bose...
...For instance he might be Bill Clinton, or his last name might be Avocado...
...Then he died...
...Abe Hirschfeld, was arrested for allegedly plotting the murder of a former business associate...
...But officials suspect that he was trying to scare nearby deer into seeking refuge from hunters, say, by going to downtown Chicago...
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...Have they not heard of how the hearty Russians responded to the Clinton administration's demands on Iraq...
...Some pep...
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...Tenth on the list was Miss Lewinsky, her husband's fellatrix...
...On December 19 the House impeached...
...Reading "Happy Winter Solstice, The REAL Reason for the Season," it gave the locals much to think about...
...Christmas brought the usual seasonal excesses...
...He insists that if he were anyone else he would never have been convicted...
...The average astronaut generates up to nine liters of uncompressed waste daily and in space one cannot just open the windows...
...Britain's short-haired bumble bee (Bombus subterraneus) became the 154th British species to become extinct in the twentieth century...
...December was an eerie month...
...Judge Higginbotham is also the hysteric who said last summer that Judge Clarence Thomas's rulings had "done more to turn back the clock of racial progress than any other African-American public official in the history of this country...
...It was more like a wake where sadness was diluted by consternation owing to the corpse's insistence that he be allowed to mix with the bereaved...
...and Zimbabwe's former President Canaan Banana, who was convicted of frequent acts of sodomy against his staff, was clapped under house arrest...
...Vyacheslav Ilyin, of the Institute for Biological and Medical Problems, announced that he hopes to avert future space incidents such as the 1997 Mir accident by developing a cocktail of bacteria to dissolve the astronauts' dirty underpants...
...RET Miss Julia: a one-woman Swiss Family Robinson It may be small...
...Dick Hogan took a new approach...
...He won a permit to hang a pagan sign next to the Nativity scene outside the Parker County courthouse...
...The complete system measures just 10.5"H x 18"W x 6.5"D yet features a compact disc player, an AM/FM radio, built-in speakers, a handy remote control, and our patented acoustic waveguide speaker technology...
...And former federal judge A. Leon Higginbotham, Jr...
...Lewinsky to undertake corresponding measures to restrain the emotions of Bill Clinton...
...December brought bad news and good news for Clinton supporters...
...The North Koreans responded with their characteristic bleak charm...
...During the Cold War the Bull's Eye strategy was about what they advocated for America...
...President Boris Yeltsin's fruit-juice diet has revived his flagging health...
...Our President refused to resign...
...But the president's support amongst the intelligentsia grows...
...Apparently it is all part of President Hussein's unusual strategy of presenting his country as a perfect bull's eye to his adversaries...
...It produces a rich, natural sound quality comparable to audio systems costing thousands of dollars...
...So agitated did Hollywood become that some feared a work stoppage threatening our youth's fresh supplies of sex and violence...
...In New York City police cracked down on sidewalk Santas fraudulently collecting donations after two were spotted at Rockefeller Center fighting over their ill-gotten gains...
...Possibly he is being advised by members of the American peace movement...
...Well, throughout the month there was the gluttonous example set by the Boy President...
Vol. 32 • February 1999 • No. 2
