Ben Stein's Diary
Stein, Benjamin J.
UM ilryN: Er by Benjamin J. Stein They Call It Puppy Love Sunday H ere I am out at our little house in Malibu with my PuppyWuppy, who is also called Lucy. As usual, Tommy refused to come out...
...7 Then we did our second show, and again, lots of yummy applause...
...I took her home...
...But...and here's the joke, Jews in high positions in Hollywood and elsewhere still have the fantasy that they are the persecuted pitiful remnant of the shtetl or of the ghetto...
...Not to mention the astonishing allure of Irish names...
...There can be little question of the enduring hostility of the Arabs...
...The taping went s-l-o-w-l-y...
...Maybe not that different from mine...
...It's a show starring a black comedian named D.L...
...Return of the "Refugees...
...The result...
...Population transfers have occurred throughout history...
...She told me she had a German short-haired puppy available...
...I stood next to a very rude Israeli who—imagine this—was cheering for his son's team instead of Tommy's team...
...Pretty exciting...
...Her scene in Ferris Bueller, necking with Charlie Sheen at the police station, is a true classic...
...Clinton, an almost perfectly soulless human being, has no sense of shame...
...I should have made him come, but I hate to make him do anything, except homework...
...He is never afraid...
...Nobody considers them an obstacle to peace...
...I routinely run into young men named something like "Nolan Rosenberg" or "Conan Cohen," and young women named something like "Kelly Addriziano...
...On my way to Teru-Sushi, I passed a flock of very pretty young women heading to an audition...
...I have with me my new girlfriend, Puppy-Wuppy, the German short-haired pointer who has changed my life...
...Right outside the voting booth, I ran into the wife of a former colleague of my wife's...
...Forget Clinton...
...Our team won 5-1...
...I cannot imagine what it's like to be involuntarily unemployed for long periods like my grandfather was during the Great Depression...
...When I got to the stage, I would not find a parking space...
...It has yielded Gaza and about 40% of the "West Bank" to the Palestinians...
...Or why not just simply "peace for peace...
...In the dust up, both boys fell, and Tommy got kicked—unintentionally to be sure—in the shins...
...But have fun and I love you no matter what...
...They think Bill Clinton, with his racist affirmative action plans and "Race (Baiting) Forums" is their pal...
...My boy hanging with his old Dad...
...What would you like...
...I slept blissfully for about two wonderful, glorious hours while listening to Glenn Miller...
...But for over two thousand years, Jews have been living in Jerusalem and they have been the majority population since the 19th century...
...The dogs were there...
...Night after night, I would watch Robert Mitchum, Veronica Lake, and other gangsters and bad girls fleeing the consequences of their actions, always unsuccessfully, with my Mary dog breathing soporifically under my cheap green jacket...
...What else is expected of a country that occupies only a fraction of 1% of the lands occupied by the Arabs...
...It would be as unthinkable as for those 3 million Germans to return to Poland and the Czech republic or, who plays a barber was born on a small farm in Arkansas in the early 1940's, when it was painful to be a black man in Arkansas...
...The trees are creaking and the leaves are whistling...
...It's a clever show, all right, and well acted...
...But puppies are trouble, so I was hesitant when Martha Wyss told me she had a candidate...
...He rushed into the fray over and over and kicked the ball away from our goal...
...Or maybe from his very smart birth mother...
...But he approached me and smiled so confidently that I realized he must be D.L., and he was...
...Can anyone tell me anything as great as a long nap in the middle of the day...
...Then, a few moments of rehearsal, and then off to have a solitary sushi lunch...
...I can feel my whole body getting recharged when I sleep...
...I saw a young black man waving at me cheerfully...
...Clinton plays golf with a black multi-millionaire and the blacks love him...
...Her light blue eyes gleamed against her gray fur, and she sighed adorable high-pitched soft sighs...
...There are important Arab cities in the "West Bank," under full control of the Palestinian Authority...
...I spent most of it rehearsing for my small part on "The Hughleys...
...Instead of allowing the Palestinians who left Israel in 1948 (and their descendants) to be integrated into their societies, they have, for the past fifty years, kept them in miserable "refugee camps" and have encouraged them to plot vengeance and terrorism...
...I would like to do something for you to congratulate you," I said to him afterwards...
...Our whole parent-team contingent cheered lustily for my boy, and the coach said he was the player of the game...
...Thus, it was as if we Jews had been pushing against a locked door for two millennia or more, and then the door burst open, and wham, we were still pushing...
...What the heck...
...I told her I would look at, but probably not get, the puppy, mostly because I wanted to have a quieter life than a puppy allowed...
...He grew up poor and financially insecure...
...In my car, she climbs up onto the ledge behind the back seat and under the rear window...
...He used to be president of ABC and now he's a high-powered producer...
...Jews are the heads of all the Ivy League colleges...
...She sometimes lies with her nose on my cheek...
...These are the most important issues that Netanyahu and his government will have to confront in the final status talks...
...Another player came from Cleveland, was in the Marines, then acted in London, then was a drama teacher (by coincidence) in Little Rock...
...For Jennifer, not for Pat...
...They still think they need big government to protect them —when in fact big government is far more likely to hurt us now than help us...
...Love, love, love at first sight...
...She cried so much when I did not hold her that I'd hold her in my arms, actually in one hand, while I typed on my light blue Smith-Corona portable with the other...
...Jennifer Grey, who played Ferris Bueller's sister, was in the cast next door...
...Then, back to my Caddy, and back home to my wife and son and my Puppy-Wuppy...
...We have a new polling place...
...I was very, very lucky to have him in my life...
...That's the big picture...
...We headed down the ioi to Route 17 to our little hooch with puppy aboard...
...The man, the movement, the knowledge of how to use and abuse the legal process—the media as the ultimate power...
...It's bliss, bliss, bliss...
...Most of the players and the staff of the show are black...
...Following the collapse of its North African empire, France accepted for that matter, for the 800,000 Jews who fled or were expelled from the Arab countries to return to their original homes...
...Then I got a call in September from Martha Wyss, the saintly head of Friends of Animals...
...Never in the history of the world has any nation returned lands to those who have attacked it...
...Israel has recognized this historical necessity...
...The result has been that he does steadily better at his homework, and little by little takes on some duties at home — clearing the table, setting the table, taking out trash if it's light...
...The star is a guy named Chris Eigeman, whom I know well from Whit Still-man's masterworks, Barcelona and The Last Days of Disco...
...Your tax-deductible 62 contribution allows us to publish these important messages...
...He always plays defense...
...Thanks to a lot of developments of the civil rights movement of the 1950's and i96o's, Jews, like blacks, got emancipated...
...And he almost never looks sad...
...54 January 1999 • The American Spectator...
...As usual, Tommy refused to come out here because he wanted to play video games with his pals...
...It took a few minutes to find it...
...We have held the Congress for three elections in a row—the first time since the 1920's...
...Saturday N ow, this is paradise...
...She could not be left alone, so I took her under my jacket when I went to watch Tim Hunter's Film Noir class in Nat Sci I and she simply fell asleep in the warm space...
...Hughley is very, very smart and funny...
...Oh, plus we should have an agenda...
...But, gosh...
...So Jews are in a position of unique happiness in the shining America, thanks to the glory of the Constitution and the generosity of spirit of the ordinary American...
...Just by...
...With those ingrained habits of hard work, and the opportunity to compete freely and on a level playing field, Jews went wild...
...But Jerusalem is the eternal and indivisible capital of the Jewish State...
...I thought he was a production assistant and I started to ask him if he would park my car for me...
...She chewed up the chairs, the sofas, the pillows, socks, BENJAMIN J. STEIN is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Hollywood and Malibu...
...Then she stretches out and falls asleep...
...Tears came to his beautiful slate gray blue eyes...
...But how she has changed her looks...
...I think about this because as far as I can make out, Jews are in a position of unique happiness in America...
...He even listened politely when I suggested that he might have made a mistake or two, and took my advice...
...The wind howled outside and the commentators tried to make the GOP look bad...
...Pat hated Santa Cruz and had left by then...
...A similarly rude woman from Belgrade was also cheering for Tommy's opponents...
...He also plays his part—also in the barber shop—with perfect comic touches...
...Friday A nother very strange day...
...In my entire childhood, I did not have as much joy as he has in an afternoon...
...2. Left-wing Democrats, especially the Hillary types who are the backbone of the Clinton world, are as tough as old boots, far, far tougher than any Republicans anywhere...
...He showed me his excellent math homework...
...I lay on my bed with my new PuppyWuppy...
...They will have life-threatening surgery to look more like an ordinary Irish girl from County Mayo who takes her looks for granted...
...Off we went to a huge soccer field near Fox, and Tommy threw himself into the practice with his usual lack of enthusiasm...
...In fact, far tougher than conservatives...
...A Palestinian State...
...So, now Jews are the heads or deputy heads of all the TV networks and/or the companies that own them...
...Israel could not survive if Judea/Samaria (the "West Bank") Bank" is impossible...
...That dog was a maniac...
...Then more rehearsal, and more meeting and greeting...
...True to form, she had accident after accident inside...
...I visited for a long while with Ken Baker, a friendly, talented fellow who writes for People...
...By not yielding to pressure from any source, and by not allowing Israel to be strategically weakened, Mr...
...But he would not leave the game, and continued to play even as he wiped tears of pain from his eyes...
...Even if he screws up, he knows I won't yell at him much and his punishment will be deprivation of TV or video games, not beating...
...I was, I thought, too old for living under puppy siege...
...Life is short...
...Netanyahu will bring peace with security, shalom batuach, to Israel and to the entire Middle East...
...This is America...
...With D.L., and the starlets, and the friendly people at "It's Like, You Know," I had the great feeling that I was in a small town where everyone knew me—and the small town is called Hollywood...
...But instead, he ran towards the other boy, and slid in front of the ball, kicking it away and derailing the drive...
...But he does have black friends, and I guess that counts for something...
...He jumped and jumped...
...She looks, in fact, a lot like my old girlfriend, Pat Kane, looked in 1972...
...I wonder how this fits with my pro-life views here...
...The Moslems have their holy cities, Mecca and Medina, and they have 22 Arab capitals...
...Times, and then started doing stand-up comedy...
...I went over to the Friends of Animals kennel on Sepulveda, sat on a rickety chair, and Martha brought in the puppy...
...Netanyahu will be true to his campaign promise and will bring peace with security, shalom batuach, to Israel and to the entire Middle East...
...It's early forms of algebra—pretty good for sixth grade—and he does it magnificently...
...They are so young and so thin and so pretty...
...Even when I lived in Washington and worked at the White House, I would come home from work to find a blizzard of foam and feathers from my chewed-up bed and pillows and couch...
...Men and women will have a knife taken to their flesh and bone to stop looking Jewish and start looking Aryan...
...The main thing is that her father was Roger Christian, who wrote many of the most famous car songs of the 1960's, mostly for the Beach Boys and Jan & Dean, songs like "Little GTO," "Little Deuce Coupe," and "The Little Old Lady from Pasadena...
...I got them for him, and then took him to a hearty lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe...
...As you may recall, Ginger left our lives about six months ago...
...Old Commies, hungering since Hiss days for a chance to get at RN, got their chance...
...No matter how much she chewed, she was lovable and an ideal friend and companion...
...A study of the psychology of different political groups is long, long overdue...
...I notice there are no kids The American Spectator • January 1999 51 named "Shlomo O'Hara" or "Rasta Kilpatrick...
...I'll tell you why Nixon and Clinton are different cases: i. Nixon had the unelected media bosses strongly against him, sliming him night and day...
...And a tail-wagging puppy with light blue eyes...
...Unrelenting pressure is being applied on Prime Minister Netanyahu to make ever-more-dangerous concessions to the Palestinians...
...She slurps at my ear in the night...
...In 1945, the resettlement of 3 million Germans from Poland and Czechoslovakia was arranged...
...She's wild and chews everything," Martha said, "but she's amazingly sweet...
...Y7 Anyway, today I got to the set, registered my presence, and then went to my dressing room to sleep...
...Wow...
...Back home, even as I started to hear the election results, a perfect evening of bliss...
...neckties, everything...
...She chewed on my nose for a time...
...Hughley about a black family that makes some money and moves to a white suburban neighborhood...
...I think he has some kind of gift for algebra, maybe because I often talk about it...
...Jews are the top dogs at two of the four major national newspapers...
...From looking like a cute but highly ethnic Jewish girl, she now looks like a waif-like Irish colleen...
...And, true to form, she is as lovable as any creature on earth...
...I wish I knew just how to explain to people that the free society, without government supervision, is the way up...
...The Jews had centuries of working harder than Gentiles just to get a scrap of bread...
...Clinton has perfect legal advice: Stonewall, obscure, lie —use the inertia of the legal system as your best defense...
...Something about this show has touched me very deeply...
...Then dinner of greens, fish, yams, and chicken...
...The power of the Aryan—I should say Irish or Celtic—stereotype over the American imagination of beauty is stupendous...
...Return of these people to Israel, including the "West were in unfriendly hands...
...After my time on the set, off to vote...
...Nixon thought he actually had to obey the law...
...Moveable Katyusha rockets would dominate the area...
...No need to hide.' 17 The physical equivalent is the heartrending need that some Jews feel to have surgery to make themselves look Gentile...
...This week I am working as a "guest star"—in fact a "special guest star"—on a new ABC hit sitcom called "The Hughleys...
...5. Nixon was hampered and hamstrung by his own sense of guilt and shame...
...I am unhappy about the elections, but that's not what counts...
...I am telling you, you can't cross anyone in this town...
...Then the game started...
...Just empty and miserable...
...True to form, I cannot leave 5 0 January 1999 • The American Spectator her at home without her freaking out with anxiety...
...We talked at length about how much we love Whit Stillman...
...This woman's husband is as Jewish as they make 'em, but he pretends to be Gentile, and even drops all kinds of anti-Semitic hints at me, or used to...
...Next time, we just get our guys to the polls the way the AFL-CIO did theirs, and we're all set...
...How much surgery must that have taken...
...My wifey was there...
...He worked as a phone salesman for the L.A...
...Still, a small problem...
...He was a great success at it, and now has his show...
...Mary came with me to Hollywood, was my best pal here, my endlessly loyal companion no matter what script deals I won or lost, and slept by my side until her death in 1982...
...And my Puppy-Wuppy is lying on my chest while I look at the ships at sea...
...She's had total, ioo percent plastic demolition and re-creation of her face...
...Then she would trot next to me through the dense redwood forests, over the long footbridges over the canyons and washes filled with deer, back to my little room...
...I double-dog dare you...
...And why not...
...We chose her out of the litter because she had the biggest paws...
...Clinton has them defending him, sliming his enemies...
...How could 160,000 Jews living among 1 million Arabs in the "West Bank" be an obstacle to peace if over 1 million Arabs live within the "green line" of Israel...
...He was friendly and cheerful...
...But no one would listen...
...So fair and foul a day I have not seen...
...She was a little brown and white ball of German short-haired pointer energy and enthusiasm, seemingly rolling and running at me all at once, wagging her little lopped-off tail...
...Naturally, he wanted a Play Station and some new games...
...A perfect case in point...
...Where I come from, the party that controls Congress (both houses), controls the governorships of New York, Texas, Florida, Illinois, Michigan, and Connecticut, and has a giant presidential superstar building in George Bush does not look that pitiful...
...Mommy had to work late to do Paramount work, so Tommy came with me to watch the taping of "It's Like, You Know...
...He keeps running, like the Energizer Bunny, powered by his limitless sense of himself as hero and victim, and never slows down for a second...
...By not yielding to pressure and by not allowing Israel to be strategically weakened, Mr...
...My boy," I said to him as the game was about to start, "I am no expert at soccer, and could never play anywhere near as well as you, but I think you will enjoy it more if you are a little more committed to it...
...In my rear view mirror, I see her liver-and-white self snoozing as the cars on the freeway slide by behind her...
...She leapt up, bit my nose, jumped onto my lap, and that was it...
...Clinton is being saved by a media stonewall...
...Shouldn't the Arabs give up some land to get peace...
...Sad.44 I kept wanting to say, Jake, it's okay...
...A vast crew of gardeners was there, chopping down branches and trimming our amazingly tall palms...
...What are the facts...
...I keep getting letters from TAS readers telling me I indulge him, but he is a happy, happy kid...
...I learned about her life...
...Box 590359 ^ San Francisco, CA FLAME is a 501(c)(3) educational institution...
...The law firms, banks, and neighborhoods that were barred to Jews are now wide open...
...What can their lives be like...
...I love being a celebrity, and as a nerdy guy who had few friends in junior high school, I was happy at the screams and applause...
...I was late because of some damned construction...
...I felt as if I were in a dream...
...Painfully slowly...
...We did two versions of our show...
...As I drifted off to sleep, I thought of Barry Walker, the only friend I had in junior high and still a great guy...
...Much Pressure on Israel Will Netanyahu be able to preserve his country's security...
...He lay with his head on my shoulder as I read his worksheets about how many houses on a block are red or green or white, and I felt dizzy with ecstasy...
...I think it's because psychologically, conservatives want to please Daddy, while liberals want to take on Daddy...
...Then she chewed on my arm...
...How well I recall when Pat Kane and I drove from Santa Cruz up to San Francisco to buy—for $25 —the puppy weimaraner, Mary Margaret of Santa Cruz, back in 1972...
...I fell in love immediately...
...Get engaged in the play...
...4. Nixon had no hard core of absolutely loyal defenders the way Clinton does with blacks, most Jews, and radical women, on whom he can build his defenses...
...Then, in the most brilliant moment of his soccer career, Tommy and Tommy alone stood between a very large Mexican-American boy aggressively bearing down on the friendly goal...
...Even so, in line with the Camp David accord, Israel has yielded the vast Sinai to Egypt...
...Friends are life...
...I hear "American Patrol," "Moonlight Serenade," "String of Pearls," "Chattanooga ChooChoo," and I sleep and dream of my puppy, and a dry warm breeze blows from Utah, through Nevada, across Palm Springs, down Route io and into Studio City, and then in my window...
...I can well recall when we had fewer than zoo members of the House, a minority in the Senate, and looked to be extinct...
...Right now, we're doing fine...
...Amazingly, after a rather slow start Tommy kicked the ball magnificently time after time...
...She sleeps next to me, all stretched out with her warm chest against mine...
...I keep wanting to say, "Jake, it's okay...
...Over 90% of the Arab population of the territories is under the control of the Palestinian Authority...
...Before the end of the 1967 Six-Day War, no claims to Jerusalem being a Moslem holy city or the capital of any Arab country were asserted...
...No need to hide...
...Just exactly why blacks like him so much is an endless mystery to me...
...I slept blissfully with Puppy-Wuppy by my ear, breathing her sweet, warm puppy breath into my head all through the night...
...Above all, keep your eye on the ball when you are about tokick it...
...My little angel, voluntarily showing me his work...
...People whom I played against on my game show or once pitched to ten years ago turned up as producers and writers and studio execs...
...Nixon's haters were far meaner and tougher than anyone going up against Clinton...
...Billionaires' daughters who happen to be Jewish or Italian or Persian will risk their lives to look like the shopkeeper's daughter from Cardiff in Wales...
...Clinton knows he is the law, or at least above the law...
...In fact, the only anti-Semitism I ever see is either the lowest form of white trash in Idaho—and very rarely—and rich easterners in the U.S...
...More than 12 million...
...She was also extremely friendly, and she's a great actress, just shining with talent...
...Both the political confusion of Jews and their ethnic confusion —they never look right after the surgery— is sort of sad for a people who are supposed to be so smart...
...Unassuming, confident, and talented goes a long way...
...Muslims and Hindus were exchanged between India and Pakistan...
...It was over far too fast...
...I was on a cloud...
...UM ilryN: Er by Benjamin J. Stein They Call It Puppy Love Sunday H ere I am out at our little house in Malibu with my PuppyWuppy, who is also called Lucy...
...He has let them down every time they have depended on him...
...Israel needs to keep strategic control of the "West Bank," without which it would not be defensible...
...No, they probably do not have to clean up as much dog poopie...
...But he raised himself to be an actor on stages all over the world, to teach drama, to appear in TV series and in movies...
...Horrifyingly awful...
...The day she died, I called my mother and father in France to tell them, and my mother said, "I just had a feeling...
...Perfect...
...My son is a hero...
...When I see how far these men have come, without subsidies, preferences, or bailouts, it really inspires me...
...It's really true...
...And, of course, Jews win most of the Nobel prizes won by Americans...
...I awakened ridiculously early to drag Tommy to soccer...
...Land for Peace...
...Working on my acting and having a place to go where there are friendly people and a steady paycheck is bliss...
...One of my new agents used to be a clothing salesman for whom I once felt sorry...
...She slept literally on top of my head in my long hippie hair...
...Even as I read about it on-line on my lap-top, I also read the Wall Street journal editorial about how, if Clinton is allowed to skate after all of the illegal acts he committed, why on earth did we compel Nixon to resign...
...That guy is going to own the airwaves...
...Show time...
...Nixon was deposed in a media coup...
...Neither Israel nor any Palestinian entity could absorb them...
...Throw yourself into the game...
...This is living...
...I stood next to a very rude Israeli who—imagine this—was cheering for his son's team, not Tommy's...
...It's a good question for Bob Bartley, since despite my pleas and begging before I came to work there, he also called for Nixon to resign...
...The "West Bank" mountain ridges dominate the narrow waist of Israel, in which over 70% of the Jewish population, 80% of its industrial base, and the most important military installations are located...
...Nixon integrated the schools, but the blacks never liked him...
...Jerusalem...
...She has brightened my days and warmed my nights beyond what I might have dreamt of...
...She was really my only friend when I lived in New York City...
...I was stunned...
...Tommy set up his mini-trampoline next to the bed...
...The kitty was there...
...She chewed up my socks, my pillows, my wife's pillows, my glasses, my toothbrushes, everything...
...He had his shin guard on, but I could see that it still hurt...
...land for peace work both ways...
...That's what matters in my world...
...Twenty other men and women connected with the show greeted me cheerfully...
...Then, home again...
...Hmmm...
...I sat next to our beautiful makeup woman, Kimberly...
...There is no possibility that I could adequately describe how ecstatic I was about Tommy's daring, skillful, and self-sacrificing play...
...The premise is not brand-new, to put it mildly, but the show is extremely funny because D.L...
...They all 000hed and ahhed and I flirted with them...
...Then, by our new house in Beverly Hills...
...But the "Arab Nation", with its enormous wealth and vast under-populated lands, has stubbornly refused to face facts...
...Of course I had made them swear they would not disturb the neighbors on the weekend, and of course my gardeners did just the opposite...
...Yesterday was my first day...
...I am so lucky, and so is everyone who has a steady job or a business or a place to go day after day...
...Pat held her on her lap with a towel under her in our little blue 1972 Subaru ff-i (cost $1800 fully loaded except for no air conditioning...
...This is America...
...All through the night she has no accidents...
...Don't make any enemies in Hollywood...
...She is my comfort, my joy, my little angel dog...
...He did not want to go, but he roused himself...
...I spent about five lonely months without a dog to keep me warm...
...The producers are closely connected with the old "Seinfeld" crew, and then they are backed up by a great guy named Ted Harbert...
...One man 52 January 1999 • The American Spectator You deserve a factual look at...
...And I mean really slowly...
...There is not enough land and not enough water...
...A puppy...
...The recent Wye Plantation Conference was only a foretaste of what is going to be demanded from Israel in the so-called "final status negotiations...
...Why should they give up their capital, their holy city as far back as memory goes—or even any part of it...
...3. Nixon was hampered in his defense by very poor legal advice...
...Many of them have come great distances to be here...
...The Palestinians would not need an army to make life in Israel impossible...
...Jews head the operations of almost all of the biggest media companies...
...And shouldn't close to 1.5 million people...
...One was at about 3 p.m., and it went well...
...It was not that long ago...
...This ad has been published and paid for by FLAME Facts and Logic about the Middle East P.O...
...His is a touching story...
...I for my part watched him, drinking in his cuteness and enthusiasm...
...Ted Harbertwas fabulously friendly...
...As to Jewish "settlements" in the "West Bank": Jews have the right to live in any part of the land of Israel...
...I felt euphoric...
...My heart was in my mouth, and Tommy could easily have backed off...
...It was not that Jews were smarter (the Irish and English, as my mother used to say, are the smart ones), but they just worked harder and had more self-discipline...
...Jews are major partners, if not the top partners, at the major Wall Street firms in both law and investment banking...
...The audience gave out such a huge cheer when they saw me that it stopped the show—at least it stopped because I was so startled by it that I gasped...
...Tuesday H mm...
...The whole concept is absurd...
...Now, he's playing his barber role with consummate comic skill and timing...
...I warned everyone I knew about Clinton," said this smart man...
...But no matter, because the word will get out eventually...
...While I was rehearsing, I got a call from my pal Al Burton telling me that Newt had quit...
...Then, back from lunch, I wandered into the set next to ours where a sitcom called "It's Like, You Know" is being made...
...There is no comparably well-placed group of Clinton haters...
...Tonight in Malibu, the wind is howling outside...
...What follows are some areas in which demands will be made and pressure will be applied...
...She chewed up dozens of socks, my pillows, my wife's pillows, my glasses, my toothbrushes, everything...
...I stood next to them shouting, "Well played," whenever Tommy kicked the ball...
...But enough of that...
...The ordinary Jew lives without any of the discrimination against him that was a standard feature of my youth...
...Thank You, thank You, dear God for my puppy, who redeems all...
...Thank You, God, for puppies, who give back about a million times more than they cost...
Vol. 32 • January 1999 • No. 1
