Among the Intellectualoids: That Listing Feeling

...Superlatives like "best" and "greatest" are irretrievably connected with personal preference...

...2. "Go ahead-make my day...

...A far more provocative and much less self-delusional exercise can be found in simply going public with one's own personal lists...

...The problem with these lists is not so much the final selections as the absurd pretense that they make to being objective...

...AMO CTUA by Thomas Vinciguerra That Listing Feeling I t's official: I have reached "Top so, 25, so°, etc...

...Top 5 Overlooked Reasons Why 70's Nostalgia Must Stop: 5. Terrariums 4. Truly floppy disks 3. Stagflation 2. Jonathan Livingston Seagull 1. The rise of Steven Spielberg Top 5 Scariest Enemies of Godzilla: 5. Mothra 4. Rodan 3. King Kong Raymond Burr 1. Bad dubbing Top 5 Most Boring Chemical Elements: 5. Lutetium 4. Ytterbium 3. Yttrium 2. Terbium 1. Erbium 5. "Grow the economy" 4. "Defining moment" 3. "Sea change" 2. "Spending quality time" 1. "Trying to achieve closure" Top 5 Most Notorious Ivy League Alumni: 5. Aaron Burr (Princeton) 4. Roy Cohn (Columbia) 3. Theodore Kaczynski (Harvard) 2. George Lincoln Rockwell (Brown) 1. Michael Corleone (Dartmouth) Top 5 Most Delicious Thinking Man's Sex Symbols: 5. Bebe Neuwirth 4. Sheryl Crow 3. Emma Thompson 2. Kristin Scott Thomas 1. Dana Delany Top 5 Real-Life Villains for the Next 5 James Bond Movies: 5. Saddam Hussein 4. Jesse Ventura 3. RJR Nabisco 2. George Steinbrenner 1. Bill Gates Top 5 Least Sorely Missed Sociological Phenomena: 5. Sangria 4. Red AIDS lapel ribbons 3. Yuppies 2. Test of the Emergency Broadcast System 1. Lee Iacocca Top 5 Figures in Need of UFO Abduction: 5. Rosie O'Donnell 4. Rosie O'Donnell 3. Rosie O'Donnell 2. Rosie O'Donnell 1. Rosie O'Donnell 80 December r999/January 2000 The American Spectator...

...It was annoying enough when the American Film Institute issued its self-important roster of the top Ioo American films of all time...

...Now go ahead-prove that I'm wrong: THOMAS VINCIGUERRA is a frequent contributor to the New York Times and The American Spectator...

...Anyway, an utter lack of inspiration has crept into the process: Could anything be more predictable than the Modern Library declaring the top loo novels and top loo nonfiction books of the century...

...3. "Nothing wrong with shooting...as long as the right people get shot...

...4. "Do things someone else's way and you take your life in your own hands...

...So let's acknowledge, as Henry Luce so famously did, that objectivity is an impossibility...

...Moreover, it is increasingly clear that the point of such listing is not to have the last word on a subject, but rather to start arguments that will drum up interest in the listmaker's product...

...Here are some of mine...

...Now the "Biography" television series has the hubris to declare the so° most influential people of the millennium...

...I can't imagine what's next...

...TV Guide recently unveiled its dubious tally of the 5o greatest television characters in the history of the medium...

...Top 5 Most Hair-Tearingly Tiresome Couples 5. Julie Andrews and Blake Edwards 4. Woody and Soon-Yi 3. James Carville and Mary Matalin 2. Regis and Kathie Lee i. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick Top 5 Lines Uttered by Dirty Harry 5. "I know what you're thinking: Did he fire six shots or only five...

...1. "A man's got to know his limitations...

...Ask anyone who manages to stay awake during the Oscars...