Ben Stein's Diary: Dining Out
Stein, Benjamin J.
BEN STEIN'S DIARY by Benjamin J. Stein Dining Out Tuesday I 'm on the Washington airport Super-Shuttle bus, actually just a drab green bus heading from the Avis lot to the USAir Terminal. We...
...I will tell you all about it on the plane...
...The air conditioning did not seem to be working at all...
...The room was extremely hot and had a painfully low ceiling...
...Sunday W hen I got back to L.A...
...Israeli universities are renowned centers of learning in the history and literature of the Arab Middle East...
...At the metal detector, I was emptying my pockets when a large red-headed woman talking so intently on her cell phone that she did not even see me crashed into me, knocking keys and medicines out of my hand...
...It's a hundred percent legit," I answered...
...He had enough attention to get some kids...
...It is at six o'clock...
...Once Arianna saw that she had bumped into a fellow celeb, she perked up...
...I went out to the men's room and ran into Bob Bork, who was very friendly...
...Would you ever be interested in being in my movies...
...Lots of college kids, high school kids, kids, kids, kids...
...Hayes told me she was a singer in a band and gave me her number, and then I went to look at the ties...
...Arabic is an official language in Israel, together with Hebrew...
...My grandfather was Linnetsky, but he changed it, and Scott was my mother's first boyfriend, who's a big gay guy in Queens now...
...I sat next to a truly brilliant and lovely woman from Outlook named Bonnie...
...It's a big job, and she supervises drug testing on eight and a half million people in the transport sector...
...But, as I round the corner, what do I see...
...I took a cab back to my hotel and slept like a log...
...Can't win 'em all," he said...
...They're cops...
...After a few minutes I felt I was just too damned tired to be one of the Beautiful People and wanted to be in bed...
...I chose the Four Seasons for lunch...
...Yeah," she said...
...All right," she said...
...Jim Gilmore, the Governor and First Lady of Virginia...
...In my mind, as I fell into dreamland, as I stared at the lights of the Chrysler Building, I thought, "To absent friends...
...If Mr...
...She had a great laugh and a lively humor, and we were really happy for most of the evening...
...Jews have been living in Arab countries for almost 2,000 years...
...I gave my little rant about abortion...
...and walked into our tiny house, my son smiled, laughed, leaned against me, begged me to watch him play a video game...
...My longtime pal, M.M., came over to tell me her latest tales of woe...
...I love your show," she said...
...Susan is a pretty woman of medium height who introduced me to my senior year girlfriend, Mary Just...
...Israeli Arabs—Moslems, as well as many Christian denominations—are free to exercise their faiths, to observe their own weekly day of rest and holidays, and to administer their own internal affairs...
...I talked for a long time to an incredibly nice couple, Mr...
...I also ran into my former boss, Terry Lenzner, who is now a detective for the Democratic National Committee or David Kendall or someone like that...
...I guess so...
...The Four Seasons is a big publishing hangout, and I thought that I would gloat a little by going there...
...She told about how her parents, longtime leftists, or "old leftists to put it mildly" as Mary called them, travel to Mexico each year to visit a colony of old lefties at someplace called Ouahaca, if I have the spelling right...
...I wish Ray Wisher, the Florida cop, were here to protect me...
...The Arabs of Israel" Are they a "persecuted minority...
...I am making far better time on foot than all of these limos are making as they get stopped at roadblocks...
...When I lived in New York long ago, it was far too expensive for me to even consider...
...He talked about pro-abortion demonstrators spitting on him when he got into his car...
...I am not even sure there is such a thing as attention deficit disorder, but even if there is, your husband had enough attention to marry you...
...We passed by the airport's old, but still beautiful main terminal, and two men ran towards the shuttle holding duffel bags...
...I talked to a variety of nice people who complimented me on my show, including Fred Fielding, whom I had known at the Nixon White House and who is now a very big lawyer in D.C...
...Ciao...
...As I searched for them, I passed a beautiful girl with orange hair who was hawking makeup...
...Better to be watching Tommy play a silly video game while an old dog drools nearby than to be at any party anywhere...
...But many believe that Arabs in Israel itself are a "persecuted minority...
...We talked mostly about how men and women who seemed to be a bit wacky when they were young got totally crazy when they were older...
...He's ten but he's nearsighted and needs them...
...Well, my car's ready," I said...
...Suddenly, it was deserted...
...She and I have different tastes about almost everything...
...This is how we dads show we're there, by watching when our kids ask to be watched...
...11 party in a large room in a crescent at the Washington Hilton...
...His behavior is irresponsible and low, not sick," I said...
...Israeli universities and technical institutions are freely available to the Arabs...
...They're just sitting there, chewing the fat...
...I can get you a good price on one when you want it") and then my little angel was fitted with glasses that make him look like James Dean at the Actor's Studio in 1952...
...Somehow, this made me feel more uneasy than it usually did...
...If even a few of them are true, the Kuwaitis and Saddam deserved each other...
...my limo was late arriving in front of the Waldorf Astoria...
...They could not have been friendlier...
...47:41, i.") 11A4111111111111111 11111^inva • rum • *-1 ir'm =01111.1W ';11(;.: st):: ? • The American Spectator • July 1998 55 The dinner was a great success...
...They brought me in and I raised sixty thousand dollars and then I finished producing it...
...Sad, but true...
...There's a reason I always feel my pocket is being picked when I'm in New York...
...He's sick...
...You can really lose your perspective pretty fast in this life...
...I kept calling over and over on my cell phone, and finally the driver came and scooped me up...
...The Poles are not people: they're subhuman...
...I wonder if Peter Feierabend and Martha and my mother and Trixie and Mary and Susie and Mike Egger are all up there waiting...
...Ben, Ben," little girls said and asked me to sign greasy pieces of paper...
...Arianna Stassinopoulos didn't say anything until I said to her, "Wow, someone this stupid wouldn't do very well on a game show...
...I did not like it...
...But he does it and loves it...
...I pass by the Dauman house in Beverly Hills several times a week and every time I feel a pang about smiling, laughing, in-small-claims-court suing Martha...
...Fifteen bucks...
...The optometrist examined Tommy for a few minutes, showed us photos of his Cherry Corvette and his Eliminator speedboat ("It's an eighty mile an hour boat...
...We talked for a while about his 1984 convention speech about taxes and then about his erstwhile speechwriter, Marty Kaplan, now a Hollywood personality...
...It said, "Meredith Scott Lynn, Standing on Fishes...
...56 July 1998 • The American Spectator You deserve a factual look at...
...Here I am on foot, in my tuxedo, walking up Florida Avenue, N.W., towards the Washington Hilton...
...What are the facts...
...How can anyone be such a fool...
...Those neckties are not for me...
...But there are now over one million Arabs in Israel, as against 150,000 in 1948 an almost seven-fold increase...
...Ninety-eight percent of the Arabs in these territories live now under the rule of the P.A...
...This is a big shindig where the press, a few select beautiful people from Hollywood, and heavy duty politicos meet and greet and eat and hear a speech by the President...
...I only had a few bones in my sole, and it was heavy, but tasty...
...Different religions, cultures, and social traditions coexist...
...The men were in black tie...
...Other passengers were getting their limos, but mine was nowhere to be seen...
...Her name was Hayes, and she was really interesting looking with that bright orange hair...
...We have to have pleasure for ourselves and no responsibility...
...Double plus uh-oh, because now I hear rough male voices ahead...
...She's telling me about her husband, aged 43, who just ran off with his secretary and left her and the two kids...
...He's not sick...
...Where is it...
...She's thin and well proportioned and looks ten years younger than she is, at least...
...In fact, sometimes you can't win any of them...
...I like him, and I really like Jesse Helms...
...They publish what they please, subject only to the same military censorship as Jewish publications...
...My parents had always warned me about walking around Foggy Bottom at night...
...Virgil Dechant, head of the Knights of Columbus, gave a memorable talk about life and death...
...Why are we always running away from the most morally right issue of our era...
...There is, however, one difference between the "rights" of Arabs and Jews in Israel...
...She's really short...
...I get a nervous stomach before every show...
...But now, I thought, it won't be a shock at all no matter what the menu says...
...Well, tell me how to reach you...
...Plus she does other things about drugs...
...At least I can...
...She also has a certain measure of anxiety...
...Oh, brother...
...There is some question whether or not they are better off than before...
...It's a warm night, and the place is packed...
...Murder, never...
...It's his fault and it's not a sickness and not a health issue...
...I read a book about Don Simpson and then the woman came up to me...
...Only they begin by saying the people they're killing are not human beings...
...I told my friends there that it would not work for the abortionists forever, because in the long run, killing a baby is just so much more repulsive than saving a baby that the life side has to win...
...Plus, I am a bit uneasy because I don't really know any of the folks at the Post who invited me...
...I had been close pals with her in Silver Spring about oh, forty years ago, when the Bernsteins lived next door...
...asked the driver, shaking his head...
...We44 Then Helms told how the woman shrieked at him, 'How come you want to control my body?' 1Y will not turn to violence," I said...
...Plus, we had a captain who was so condescending it was almost like a stage play about unbearable New Yorkers...
...She waved her arms but not wildly, and when she saw me she nodded as if she might possibly know me...
...You can cruelly and falsely torture yourself or you can befriend yourself...
...It is not your fault," I said...
...Then she ran ahead of me to get a good seat on the shuttle...
...Maybe orange hair is the wave—so to speak—of the future...
...I borrowed an Avid from Paramount and a lot of stuff from other people and got it made...
...Saturday 0 ooh...
...I had dinner with my wonderful pal Sid and his brilliant son, Claude, at a super chic restaurant on 59th Street...
...Now I am really scared...
...Here," he said, "I am sure this will be a much admired souvenir in your circles...
...The joke here is that Mary smokes like a madwoman, lighting one right after the other...
...She did not seem convinced...
...His late mother, Martha, was about the best dinner companion in history...
...He is a great performer and how great it would have been if he had stayed in play acting instead of vetoing the partial birth abortion bill...
...He had enough attention to find his new girlfriend...
...The pasta is inedible...
...I had done him a favor about twenty years ago, so he returned it by inviting Bonnie and me to his magazine's party at a huge manse next to the Washington Hilton...
...I asked...
...It was Mary Bernstein, the sister of the famous reporter and personality, Carl Bernstein...
...Israeli Arabs Enjoy Full Equality in law and in Fact...
...The tables are kiddy sized, as are the chairs...
...They're fans of my show, but probably share few of my social views...
...He can't help it," she said...
...Or was that paranoia...
...It sure does," I said...
...Just The American Spectator • July 1998 tell me, just between us, is it really a hundred percent legit...
...As I waited for my Caddy to be waxed, a thin, wiry woman with light brown hair stood next to a Four-Runner talking intently into a cell phone...
...I tucked him in, kissed him, and felt as if I had won the lottery—and I feel that way every time I lay eyes on that angel...
...She entered heaven in 1982, and I miss her every single day...
...Ben, Ben," women cried out and took my photo...
...Fourth, the other diners look as if they've been dead for many years and have just gotten out of their coffins to have a cigarette...
...At the cocktail party, I spoke to the drug czar, brave General McCaffrey, and then to my pals from the Outlook section, all of whom could not have been friendlier...
...I was a loser, a chump...
...Israeli and Druze men are required to do three years of military service and then serve one month every year until they are 50...
...It is amazingly jammed up...
...I kept thinking of The Fearless Vampire Killers and their ball...
...I mean, do you really not know the answers...
...They are not killers...
...I am soproud of him...
...The confidence one gets from a girlfriend who puts you on a pedestal is pretty hard to beat...
...We won't do it...
...Where in the District...
...About 20% of the population (over one million people) are non-Jews, most of them Arabs, and some Druze...
...I stood next to Henry Kissinger again...
...I love that kindness in him...
...Not enough time to play tennis...
...Your tax-deductible 8b contribution allows us to publish these important messages...
...I just want you to know I think you're awesome," she said...
...She told me about how she calls her parents by their first names—except when she's with them...
...Glitter is nice...
...Really sad...
...From social outcast and pariah to social darling in fewer than ten years...
...Anyway, the evening went well, and afterwards a lot of happy looking young folks asked for autographs, so that was nice...
...I was the second female lead...
...What do you do...
...Once inside the car, I had to laugh like a madman at myself...
...In fact, she has such a goodly measure of anxiety that she lay down on the floor and began to do crunch ups as we talked...
...There are dose to 1,000 Arab educational institutions in Israel, with about 300,000 students—just about 25 times as many as in 1948, when the State of Israel was created, Ninety percent of Arab children attend school, probably the highest ratio of anyArab population anywhere...
...Under Arab dominance, they were always third-elass citizens and subject to harassment and persecution...
...An elder statesman sort of way, one might almost say...
...But really packed...
...She has to smoke outside on the sidewalk at the DOT...
...Now I have a new one that's just coming out...
...Both Arabs and Druze hold seats in the Knesset, the Israeli parliament...
...I produce...
...Does this new terminal down here have a name yet...
...Then he told how the same woman, a large woman, blocked his car door and shrieked at him, "How come you want to control my body...
...I didn't even really have any interest in the party...
...About 5,000 Arab students attend such schools...
...Since the surrounding Arab states, with the exceptions of Egypt and recently of Jordan, are the avowed enemies of Israel and are dedicated to its destruction, this exemption is granted by the Israeli government to its Arab citizens, so as to spare them conflicts of loyalty and conscience...
...I told her she looked great and then she started to tell me she was so anxious she had scratched a bald spot into her hair...
...That whole town's pride got ruined because a woman killed her two little babies by locking them in the van and BENJAMIN J. STEIN is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Hollywood and Malibu...
...Mary has not spoken to me for thirty years, but I still think of her often...
...On to more polite folk...
...He blithely gathered up his handkerchief, wiped off the spittle, and handed the handkerchief to the woman...
...driving them into the lake...
...Afterward, I went back through the dark, dank Manhattan streets to my quarters at the Waldorf...
...counters...
...Thursday L unch with Susan Sgarlat, an old pal from college days who used to be married to golden, smart, brave former Marine Larry Lissitzyn, and with my sister Rachel...
...Then off for a walking tour through the Georgetown waterfront...
...This really teaches me something...
...President Clinton's speech was fairly funny considering that he's a cynical, manipulative, anti-life politician with less respect for the legal process than John Gotti...
...After dinner, Claude and I went back to a bar and talked about life...
...I also had a little message for the other side about violence, because they're always wailing about violence at abortion death houses...
...I heard a review on the radio that raved about it...
...The Jews are not people: they're tuberculosis...
...I am so glad to be back home...
...asked Walter Mondale...
...When I got off, at the Ronald Reagan terminal, Arianna rushed by me in a mad swirl, still talking on the cell phone...
...My roommate is a trivia hound and he watches the show every night...
...I went on line for about an hour and then lay down in my immense bed and listened to my neighbors scream in Italian until about two in the morning and then fell asleep...
...Second fold: the food is terrible...
...These figures alone would seem to prove that things can't be all that bad for Arabs in Israel...
...It is official policy of the Israeli government to foster the language, culture, and traditions of the Arab minority, in the educational system and in daily life...
...It's a moral issue...
...Protection of such diversity is embedded in Israel's traditions and confirmed by the government...
...Should I go by a built up route...
...Contrary to propaganda...the Arabs in Israel enjoy every civil right and have the same status under law as Jewish Israelis...
...My mother in heaven interceded for me and put those policemen in my path...
...58 July 19 9 8 • The American Spectator "The Doctor Appeaser" is what the Chinese used to call him before they hired him to be their Terry Lenzner...
...She followed me over as I inspected my car...
...All religious communities in Israel enjoy the full protection of the State...
...And then there's little me...
...Anyway, Sid very, very generously paid the bill...
...Ours is irresponsibility...
...Too lonely in New York...
...I was frantic because rain was pouring down, a high wind was blowing and—can you believe this...
...I am such a lazy bones that I can't even imagine that level of work and responsibility...
...It's about a sculptor who's really brilliant but he's totally sold out and just makes special effects for movies now...
...He has a wildly successful Internet clothing business...
...Israeli health institutions are freely open to all Arabs, on the same basis as they are to Jews...
...The holy sites of all religions are administered by their own authorities and protected by the government...
...You can't imagine how expensive it is...
...I strolled across town to Saks Fifth Avenue to look for neckties...
...Everyone was talking about how rude she was...
...That's nonsense," I said...
...Arabic is taught in Jewish secondary schools...
...In Washington...
...After I dropped him at school, I headed over to get my car washed at The Sunset Car Wash across from the Directors' Guild right near Greenblatt's and the Comedy Store...
...I get nervous just talking to you about it right now...
...Maybe because this is where Ronald Reagan was shot and I felt as if someone might shoot me, too...
...So, tell me...
...Mary was the first girlfriend I ever had who really loved and adored me...
...He pointed out in wonder how Dr...
...Mind blowing...
...Every Knesset, since the founding of the State in 1948, has had Arab and Druze members...
...I direct," she said...
...Why did she bother to mention it at all...
...Contrary to propaganda and to what many believe, the Arabs in Israel are full-fledged citizens, enjoy every civil right, and have the same status in law as Jewish Israelis...
...Israeli health standards are by far the highest in the Middle East...
...The worst parts are fourfold: The food is amazingly expensive...
...Down in the main part of the room, my old editor, Art Cooper, of GQ, ate with a famous cartoonist named Charles Hamilton...
...Her parents, the old lefties, were just the greatest neighbors ever, and I really liked them and still do...
...My driver was from a small town called Union, South Carolina...
...Israel is an open, pluralistic, and egalitarian society...
...She actually looked darned good with it, I am bound to say...
...The food was excellent, far better than at the dinner...
...I just loved them...
...Twenty five dollars for a plate of pasta...
...No, I'll go through this little wooded passage over the C&O canal...
...About six months ago, maybe a little less, I was on a panel with Arianna led by Richard Belzer...
...Also dry and tasteless...
...Those voices belong to two Park Policemen in their cruisers sitting in a parking lot in the dark...
...The Nazis' goal was racial exaltation...
...They've left Transylvania and are now in Midtown, still dead, still scary looking, still hungry for something...
...It has thus vastly changed the status of women, to far above that of any country in the region...
...Friday A rushed trip out to the USAir Shuttle terminal at New York's La Guardia Airport...
...My sister, Susan, and I had a fine meal, though...
...What part of Washington...
...People always have an idea of how to make the world a better place and a part of the program is that they have to kill a lot of other people...
...I was invited by the kind folks at the Washington Post's Outlook section...
...Oh, absolutely," I said...
...He was extremely cheery and said he'd like to play on my show...
...I watch it every night...
...Each community has its own religious councils and courts, and has full jurisdiction over religious affairs, including matters of personal status, such as marriage and divorce...
...I'm at the Georgetown Seafood Grille, having dinner with Aram Bakshian...
...A veal chop is $46...
...In contrast to the non-Israeli Arab world, Arab women in Israel enjoy the same status as men...
...It was funny or would have been except that it was about how cute his twins were and I am thinking, "Yeah, and thanks to Bill Clinton and Hillary, how many millions just like them have been murdered...
...Sleep is better...
...So we have mass murder of the babies and we say they are not human...
...Plus, they sat us in Siberia...
...Kevorkian was invited to the seventy-fifth anniversary gala of Time (or as my father calls it, "Emit...
...I've heard great things about that one," I said...
...As we sat and talked, along came a familiar face...
...There was a comedy riff by a man named Ray Romero...
...The world is much focused on the developments in Judea/Samaria (the "West Bank") and the Gaza Strip, in which, for the most part, Israel has relinquished sovereignty and authority to the Palestinian Authority (P.A...
...Israel is a Democratic Country...
...You're the greatest...
...I felt bad when dinner was over...
...You always commit violence against the most innocent and defenseless among us...
...The reference was to Arianna's recent appearance on 'Win Ben Stein's Money...
...It's amazing how much different the climate is between those two cities...
...But picketing, demonstrating— I am not part of their group but I respect them...
...I did not see her on the plane...
...Well, people don't change much...
...Plus, they pulled a comically obvious trick: whenever they wanted, they would come by and open up a new, huge, $11 bottle of mineral water and start pouring without our asking...
...Arianna and her retinue made much of the dinner party she was throwing that night—and invited only Belzer and none of the rest of us...
...In Wesley Heights...
...Box 590359 ^ San Francisco,CA 94159 FLAME is a 501(c)(3) educational institution...
...As I passed by the metal detectors, a large crowd of onlookers stared at me and took photos of me...
...Tells us something about our society...
...Neckties are relegated to a section way in the back...
...All transactions in the Knesset are simultaneously translated into Arabic, and Arab members may address the Knesset in Arabic...
...They've also invited me to the Newsweek-Washington Post cocktail44 Are you coming to my book party?' Arianna Stassinopoulos asked in a loud voice...
...The experience totally altered my life forever...
...The gravity of insanity," as I called it, bows down human beings as their flush of youthful vitality wears off...
...It's been totally redesigned, by the way, so that the whole front of the first floor is makeup44 The shuttle stopped and Mondale disappeared into the Ronald Reagan world of tomorrow...
...You can be your best enemy or your best friend...
...The media people seemed to just love her and clapped wildly for her whenever there was any opportunity to do so...
...Plus, he's a good-looking guy...
...One of the men looked extremely familiar, in a distinguished sort of way...
...Then the four of them talked to Mrs...
...Up on a high balcony where they put the out of town hicks...
...Hillary looked incredibly well, considering that she'd spent the day in a five-hour deposition...
...The Kulaks are not people: they're parasites...
...The streets are mobbed, packed, out-of-control busy...
...and Mrs...
...Every few seconds, she would leap up, show herself to me in profile, and ask, "Do you think I'm too fat...
...A small salad...
...He had endless horror stories ofyoung girls being mistreated by the wealthy men of Kuwait...
...Then the shuttle stopped and Mon-dale just disappeared into the Ronald Reagan world of tomorrow...
...Friday W by We Live in Los Angeles Department: I took Tommy to the optometrist to get glasses...
...She's hooked...
...In New York, it was raining and far colder than in D.C...
...It is in the District," she said brightly...
...He laughed cheerily and threw up his hands...
...Suddenly Arianna looked cagey...
...Well, I am inviting you now...
...I always liked Mary a lot, and she has not gotten any less adorable...
...He ignored me totally, as is his habit...
...Israeli law grants women equal rights, including the right to vote and to be elected to public office, prohibits polygamy, child marriage, and the barbarity of female sexual mutilation...
...Very big doings...
...He was the main speaker, and I am so glad he's around...
...It's amazing how when you have a close friend, and that friend leaves, you don't forget...
...There are more than 20 Arabic periodicals...
...Third, the service has a bad attitude...
...That's my next movie, Standing on Fishes," she said happily...
...After I let her off at her hotel, I walked through Georgetown and then down by the waterfront again...
...When you send it back the captain argues with you...
...But absolutely empty...
...Since I am in New York for the National Right to Life Dinner, I can imagine it very well indeed...
...He smiled at her and said, "Madame, there may be someone who wants to control your body less than I do, but I cannot imagine who it would be...
...Now, Mary is in charge of drug policy at the Department of Transportation...
...Warren Beatty came in along with Annette Bening, who is sort of a thinner, less beautiful version of Mary Muff Maguire, and then they talked to Henry Kissinger...
...Well, I am here to say I can be...
...There are daily TV and radio programs in Arabic...
...I suddenly recalled how, on my show, she had propped up her new book on her contestant stand and Jimmy had burst out laughing...
...After all, how expensive can it be...
...He's got attention deficit disorder...
...To me, she calls them "Al" and "Sil...
...The driver was a Pakistani by way of Kuwait...
...We're all headed to the White House Correspondents' Dinner...
...Fabulous...
...We won't imitate your evil ways...
...Now, we have the same cry...
...Imagine a woman killing her own babies...
...To their faces they're still Mom and Pop...
...Then I ran into a kind photo editor from Vanity Fair...
...That event changed my life...
...It is instructive and sobering to compare the condition of the approximately one million Arabs in Israel with that of the pitiful remnants of Jewry in Arab countries...
...A bottle of mineral water—eleven bucks...
...Uh-oh...
...There, playing against Jim Glassman and a beautiful woman speechwriter, she scored zero points...
...This ad has been published and paid for by FLAME Fads and Logic about the Mode East PO...
...She must eat less in a month than I eat in a day...
...Dechant gave much attention to it, his speech could be published—and should be published...
...It's in a beautiful skyscraper called the Seagram's Building, designed by Philip Johnson and Mies Van der Rohe...
...Back to my room to prepare for my speech about Right to Life...
...Let's stop saying "clinics...
...I might be able to make it," I said...
...Like all other Israeli citizens, they have full rights to vote and to hold elective office...
...They're both big fans of my show, and that always makes me happy...
...It will just be another meal...
...That was the hot ticket for the night and the party was packed...
...Israel's Arabic press is the most vibrant and independent of any country in the region...
...Filet of sole —for lunch—forty six bucks...
...Katharine Graham of the Post...
...The tables are so close together that you knock elbows with your neighbor as you cut your food...
...No limo...
...I knew him when he was just a kid...
...As I looked at the determined faces in the group, I could not help but think: The GOP in Congress is so rudderless...
...These are the problems of my life: the limo is late and it's raining...
...I edit...
...I meant to say that I wish all Democrats ran the kind of campaign he did in 1984, but I did not bother to throw that in...
...And his big project is that he's being asked by this big producer to make a perfect prosthetic vagina for a movie where the starring woman doesn't want to do full nudity...
...You sit as if you were visiting your child's first grade class...
...I told her and she handed me her card...
...I actually thought you ran a great campaign," I said...
...But as I said it, I had to feel some respect for those who—like John Brown—will go to any lengths to stop abortion...
...Next to my god54 July 19 9 8 • The American Spectator dess wife, she's ancient history, but she played a pivotal role in my life and I am permanently grateful to Susan for making the match that changed everything...
...Not a word...
...It's got Kelsey Grammer and Jason Priestley and of course, me...
...I have been in many a deposition and I can tell you they are awful...
...There were about 900,000 Jews in Arab countries in 1946—now there are fewer than 25,000...
...Susan and I talked about college days, about friends whose children go to prestige colleges, about my little angel, and then lunch was over...
...Education and literacy of the Arab population in Israel is as high as and probably higher than in any Arab country...
...It's totally dark here and cold and someone could just kill me and my mother's warnings would have been totally borne out by fact...
...It's got an Italian name beginning with C, and should be in the Museum of Pretension and Foolishness...
...As the bus stopped, they hoisted their bags and themselves onto the bus and sat down...
...They all get together and talk about Russia and the good old days," she said, with a cloud of smoke as accompaniment...
...Bear in mind that this woman has an almost perfect figure...
...Sid is almost the only man I know besides my father who ever pays for anything...
...Why not make itself into the Right to Life party...
...And a great story teller...
...There is a choking pall of smoke...
...she asked in a loud voice...
...It's called the Ronald Reagan airport...
...WRONG...
...In summary, they enjoy the highest standards of living and liberty of any Arabs in the Middle East...
...This is serious stuff...
...I gave her the name of a fine psycho-pharmacologist and she went on her way...
...Then it was dinner time and we all walked in stately procession past stillmore autograph seekers and photo takers into a vast room totally filled with tables and chairs...
...Steve Forbes was there...
...The American Spectator July 1998 "Yes, but he can't help it...
...At my table were the kind folks from Outlook, and then a woman writer and her husband, both of whom were huge pals of Bill and Hillary from the Renaissance Weekend...
...0)4 59...
...The script was actually written by a sculptor, so he knows what he's talking about...
...I might have looked dubious because she said, "At that bargain theater at Fairfax and Beverly, the two-fifty one, they're still showing my movie, I Love You, Don't Touch Me...
...In Northwest," she said, sounding really nervous...
...That's yours...
...Are you coming to my book party...
...No one has invited me," I said...
...Too much homework...
...Too cold...
...Atabs are exempted from military duty and are not required to perform any compensating civilian service...
...I'm with a lovely woman from Georgia who's visiting Washington and whom I ran into...
...Well, it's my fault," she said, "for picking an irresponsible man...
...My sister arrived from a session of Yiddish singing somewhere...
...Both were neatly dressed...
...It will be a great party...
...The literacy rate among Israeli Arabs is 95%, virtually the same as for Israeli Jews...
...The woman were in formals...
...I act...
...Then the three of them talked to Madeleine Albright...
Vol. 31 • July 1998 • No. 7
