Last Call
Taki
LAST CALL by Taki A Gent's Advice to the Draft Dodger I RECENTLY VISITED THE NATION'S CAPITAL, spending most of my time at the bar of the Ritz Carlton, now under a new name and management. But my...
...One of the better lessons I learned from my father, a great philanderer, was to treat prostitutes with special care and kindness...
...If everyone adhered to them, political correctness, which the Draft Dodger so strictly adheres to, would be laughed off the earth...
...After all, the best definition of a gent is the one that says a gent never wounds unintentionally...
...You seem to be mad about women, it could happen to you," was the way she put it...
...DON'T LAUGH, MONSIEUR LE PRESIDENT...
...Cocktails with Judge William Webster and Admiral Bruce De Mars, followed by a liquid dinner at the Jockey Club with a few ladies an English friend quickly rounded up...
...By talking to a woman one can usually tell when and where and—most importantly—whether one should make a move...
...He has postures...
...The key virtues are self-discipline and stoicism, underpinned by the code inspired by the classical literature of Greece and Rome...
...This time was no different...
...The reason one doesn't drop his pants and ask for a kiss is that (a) it's crude and unromantic...
...But teaching that to Clinton, I imagine, would be like trying to teach a fish how to walk or Hollywood types not to name-drop...
...There is no room for warmth and tenderness...
...This is easier said than done...
...Sex is not an act of union but brute subordination...
...That is, you might miss the odd bimbo or two, but you might land a worthy catch, if you only knew what I mean...
...That is when the subject came up, the subject being Clinton and the bimbos...
...It wasn't that they needed to satisfy something that was lacking in an ongoing relationship...
...b) conversation is the foreplay to the foreplay...
...Being a gentleman...
...Manners make the man, and the more men have manners, the easier it is for society to function...
...The old war hero was back to his old tricks quicker than you can say independent prosecutor...
...While Washington slept, my English buddy and I kept at it...
...BE THAT AS IT MAY, IN AN AGE LIKE OURS, IN which bad behavior and downright dishonesty are dealt with through therapy, here are a few old-fashioned hints that an old-fashioned rogue like myself could give the Draft Dodger: Decent self-restraint has its own rewards...
...woman system afloat ever since nature did away with Neanderthals...
...AS EVERYONE WHO HASN'T BEEN IN A PLACE called Grope the last fifty years knows, when manners disappear society disintegrates...
...Deference at one end of the sexual scale and noblesse oblige on the other have kept the man vs...
...Manners have little to do with a man's outer attributes—birth, rank, education—but, rather, involve his inner qualities of character and behavior...
...Johnson says...
...But my old friend Aram Bakshian was still holding court, ramrod straight and, despite his prodigious thirst, amazingly sober and gracious...
...THE GROPER'S SEX LIFE IS ALMOST always cast in terms of struggle and domination...
...Perfect manners are those that allow one to put other people before one's self without thinking about it...
...WELL, NOT REALLY...
...Groping is TAKI THEODORACOPULOS writes the High Life column for the Spectator of London...
...BY THIS I MEAN MOST GENTLEMEN, alas, a rapidly disappearing species, possess a seismographic alertness as to whether a lady will welcome or reject a pass...
...There are no ifs or buts about it...
...I could go on forever_ 86 June 1998 • The American Spectator...
...One of the ladies asked me why I was so adamantly against the Draft Dodger...
...It seems to me that the Draft Dodger's manners are badly in need of refurbishment...
...Women will give out signals, be they positive or negative, and it's up to the man's radar screen to pick them up...
...Our commander-in-chief may go around promoting race relations, say, but deep in his heart he knows he's lying...
...Unfortunately, whenever I am far from home, which is often, I tend to drink and carouse much too much...
...In fact, it's elementary...
...Paula Jones's suit did not do the trick...
...THE ancients may have suffered from the Don Juan syndrome, but in reality all that meant was they were obsessed with beauty...
...The trouble is, our twice-elected numero uno has no manners...
...Desire and conquest are the operative terms...
...All women have to be treated like ladies, especially if they are not from the upper classes...
...Race relations to me mean only one thing...
...Without conversation we are all Neanderthals, as the good Dr...
...Clinton's trademark, but in my book, groping is to sex what ketchup is to a canard a l'orange...
...The Draft Dodger treated the bimbos, well, like bimbos, a real no-no...
...PERHAPS IT SOUNDS STUFFY, BUT MANNERS ARE JUST as important as morals...
...Or Barbra Streisand not to be strident...
...Or Sid Vicious Blumenthal to tell the truth...
Vol. 31 • June 1998 • No. 6
