The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS Shadow dancing; Gestapo vs. KGB; beetlemania February passes and President William Jefferson Clinton's performance was shakier than at any time since the eruption of...
...The Chinese are fully committed to Vice President Al Gore...
...Of course, February was also the first month of his forced separation from Miss Monica Lewinsky, his tubby 24- year-old jack of all trades...
...Along with the president's chief accuser Mr...
...By month's end things settled down in the Gulf but not in the United States...
...She used to pull his leg, calling him "Schmucko" and "The Creep...
...After years of low approval ratings (usually only between 40 percent and 50 percent), they have soared since it was reported that he had regularly had his way with a 21-year-old intern...
...Apparently the Independent Counsel suspected the Clinton team of obstructing justice by employing private investigators to spread misinformation about such irreproachable institutions as The American Spectator...
...In Britain it is anticipated that the country's entomologists are going to be spending a lot more time congregating around public lavatories...
...William H. Ginsburg, swelled and glowed in the public mind...
...His beliefs about condoms and masturbation remained obscure, but during his numerous public appearances he let fall pompous asseverations on the diabolical nature of e-mail, the Boy President's theories of exculpatory fellatio, Israeli-Clinton relations, and "Rule 308" of "Federal Rules," which does not exist even in his natural habitat, Beverly Hills...
...Neither civil libertarians nor environmentalists complained...
...Even as Mr...
...Clinton's own crack down on dissent triggered a subpoena to her enforcer, Mr...
...And in Washington Mrs...
...Even the president's fellow sex addict, Mr...
...RET What's rare, an inch long, and exceedingly active...
...Holed up in her Watergate stronghold, denied her exercise regimen at Nordstrom's and Saks Fifth Avenue, she has become terrifyingly corpulent...
...On February zo Mr...
...Possibly Miss Lewinsky could work out a deal with the nation's lingerie tycoons and Weight Watchers...
...Hammond added that the discovery was "one which any entomologist would dearly like to have made," and doubtless many entomologists will redouble their efforts...
...Her witty parents—once personal guests of the Boy President—became familiar figures in the media, where they joined with White House hacks in comparing the Independent Counsel to Senator Joe McCarthy, Adolf Hitler, and the Gestapo...
...It was at the entrance of a public lavatory that a Royal Society for the Protection of Birds volunteer spotted one of Britain's rarest beetles, the Maid of Kent (Emus hirtus) crawling towards a urinal...
...Her thugs even spied on the lives of former U.S...
...At Hastings High School in Hastings, Minnesota, an amorous 15-year-old lured Mrs...
...Tucker is a cooperating witness...
...War protesters imitating the Bill and Hillary of yore appeared at the White House, and with a truly clever chant: "No Blood for Monica...
...It was then that effective control of the White House was assumed by the president's unsmiling wife, Mrs...
...Through such front groups as the Williams and Connolly law bordello, the Clintons had lined up private investigators to pursue their "scorched earth" policy...
...During an interview, Dr...
...At Moody High School in Waco, Texas, two melodramatic students —a 16-year-old boy and a 15-year-old girl—were caught performing oral sex on each other in front of an appreciative English class...
...Finally, former President Jimmy Carter was hospitalized with a rash, which his spokeswoman, the pretty Miss Carrie Hannon, claims has bothered him for "more than six months...
...Now she is ducking subpoenas from the Independent Counsel and arty overtures...
...By month's end, he had become the Clinton saga's most risible joke figure since Dr...
...beetlemania February passes and President William Jefferson Clinton's performance was shakier than at any time since the eruption of Troopergate...
...Morris's piece began to circulate, American military units were heading toward the Gulf...
...And there is more confusion...
...Yet who will cough up for Monica...
...Hillary Milhous Clinton, the only first lady ever to suffer from five-o'clock shadow...
...The most famous woman in the world No, my bow tie was not a gift from my client 8 April 1998 • The American Spectator The Boy President's polls remain confusing...
...Shots is the right word...
...With Britain's virtual elimination of its anti-sodomy laws, these very weird characters will be free to loiter around urinals unimpeded by police and ever on the lookout for the coveted Maid of Kent...
...Jim Guy Tucker, once governor of Arkansas and a long-time colleague of the Clintons in Arkansas graft, copped a plea with Mr...
...That might be an example of what Our President calls "public service," but in old-fashioned Waco the students can be charged with "lewdness...
...Yet notwithstanding his lofty rating, only 23 percent of the public see this big lovable lug of a president as a proper role model for children...
...David Hale, Mr...
...Starr...
...Dick Morris, detects his former boss's unsteadiness...
...Morris reports that the president was the victim of a feminist coup d'etat sometime in early February...
...Penthouse magazine has offered to photograph her in the buff for a cool $2,000,000—doubtless with wide-angle lenses...
...Finally he began to thump for a Monica Lewinsky Defense Fund to compete with a new fund set up by the Clintons and their servitor, former Arkansas senator David Pryor...
...The American Spectator • April 19 9 8 9...
...And from Richmond, Virginia, comes yet another bizarre sex story...
...Peter Hammond, himself standing by a public lavatory at London's Natural History Museum, declared the beetle "the crown jewel of British coleoptera...
...Attorney Joseph DiGenova and also set their sights on prosecutors working for Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr...
...Children are actually using him as a role model...
...The Information Center of Human Rights and Democratic Movement in Hong Kong reports that Peking has cracked down on an independent journal of poetry published in China's Guizhou province...
...According to the patients, many of whom were visibly embarrassed, Dr...
...Could that explain the Clintons' desperation...
...Curious it is how these left-wing reformers never think of including the KGB, the Gulag, or Stalin, in their invidious comparisons...
...Then on national television Mr...
...Joycelyn Elders...
...In an influential Capitol Hill publication hitherto not known for drollery, Mr...
...Julie Ann Feil, an English teacher, into sexual intercourse, and worse he seduced her into writing a poem, "My Wedding Vow...
...Sidney Blumenthal, ordering him to appear before the Independent Counsel's grand jury...
...At the end of the month, a Miss Rosalie Osias donated $10,000 to Miss Lewinsky for embodying Miss Osias's belief in women who "use their sexuality" in the work place...
...Morris in his famous monosyllabic style, "but now she calls the shots...
...George Stephanopoulos warned the media and Republicans of a White House "scorched earth" policy towards them...
...Her estranged husband might consider canceling her subscription to Cosmopolitan...
...Not for decades has one of the inch-long golden-haired beauties been seen, and the beetle was thought to be extinct...
...The Indonesians are tapped out...
...Showalter occasionally assisted them in their therapeutic ministrations and on at least one occasion took pictures with a Polaroid camera...
...As the month lengthened the Lewinsky's lawyer, Mr...
...She'll bail him out of the mess," writes Mr...
...Carl Robert Showalter, an esteemed Virginia psychiatrist and Washington Redskins fan, had his license jerked after state officials heard testimony that he forced seven of his male patients to masturbate as part of their therapy...
...With the military build-up came poetic justice...
...As for Miss Lewinsky, she has become America's own Princess Di, winging back and forth across the country, ever hopeful of escaping the gasping paparazzi...
...According to the venerable Richmond Times-Dispatch, Dr...
Vol. 31 • April 1998 • No. 4
