Editorials: City of Boobs/Not Worth a Lick
Tyrrell, R. Emmett
EDITORIALS by R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr. City of Boobs Washington, alas, can only focus on one story at a time. And so it focuses on boobs: Monica, her pompous lawyer William Ginsburg, and Sidney...
...Not Worth a Lick T he latest scandal to befall this, our most scandal-prone president, is now the subject of sober reconsideration...
...I have been writing about such matters for several years...
...Both the president and the sultry Monica are known for their unruly appetites...
...Hillary Rod-ham Clinton, for one, and for another Seth Ward, Webb Hubbell's father-in-law...
...As we reported a few months ago, Arkansas' former Governor Jim Guy Tucker, himself a member of the Arkansas political machine, has been cooperating with the Independent Counsel...
...Clinton might be struggling to preserve the dignity of his office...
...Alfred Kinsey and his fellow scientists of the libido...
...You laugh...
...Speaking of the Clinton-Monica relationship he told the Chicago Tribune, "I think it's going to end up being a very complicated story, as most human relationships are...
...The learned Senator Torn-celli, by the way, failed to point out that he had been exposed in The American Spectator's January issue for having links to the radical Iranian Mujahedin-e Khalq, whose money he has accepted and whose positions he has defended in Congress...
...Is Monica a philatelist too...
...The prospect of a president involved in perjury, subornation of perjury, offering jobs for sex or silence, and widespread obstruction of justice is a major news story...
...Apparently he is a very cooperative witness, as is another convicted member of the Arkansas machine whose cooperation I recently reported on, former Arkansas pol David Hale...
...Nonetheless, were crafty White House aides to claim that Bill and Monica were merely swapping stamps in the president's personal office adjacent to the Oral Office on Saturdays when the first lady was not around, Washington's dwindling ranks of Clintonites would be roused from their melancholy...
...Actually, I have just read a book by Michael Reagan, The City on a Hill...
...Ever the loyal Clinton servitor, Senator Torricelli shares Hillary and Sidney's view of a "vast right-wing conspiracy" closing in on the present corrupt administration...
...Now we have Tucker coming forward...
...In it, using his dad's words and ideas, Michael talks of a future the president had hoped for...
...Possibly they would even join with the Republic's last two trained Clinton apologists, Gene Lyons and Joe Conason, in railing against the "vast right-wing conspiracy," "Clinton haters," the media, Cruel Fate...
...It is a good book inspired by a man whose greatness is coming to be realized...
...Surely no one would be surprised to discover that both were philatelomaniacs...
...Taylor portrays the Clinton defense as prevaricating and inconsistent...
...What might this mean...
...Such a disclosure would go far in getting the middle-aged president off the hook morally without costing him the admiration of his prime-time television audience...
...It looks like more charges of obstruction of justice to me—actually conspiracy to obstruct justice, perjury, bank fraud, deceiving federal officials, and a few more charges best left to a seasoned team of prosecutors...
...Said Lyons on "Meet the Press" to the guffaws of columnists across the country, "If you take someone like the president, who a lot of women would find attractive...make him the president of the United States...and you sexualize his image with a lot of smears and false accusations so that people think he's Tom Jones or Rod Stewart, then a certain irreducible number of women are going to act batty around him...
...to wit, Warren's beauty drove women mad...
...In late February PBS broadcast a two-part documentary on the life of President Ronald Reagan...
...Attacking Stuart Taylor, C the distinguished legal writer, --- .. for an authoritative essay Taylor wrote on the Paula Jones case last year, the vacuous Conason whined, "Mr...
...The regulators were moving in on the Stephens Security Bank...
...In February he copped a plea and was reportedly given an eighteen-month suspended sentence...
...Well, Hale has been Bill Clinton's chief accuser in arranging an illegal $300,000 loan to a shell company owned by Susan McDougal...
...In a panic the Clintons leaned on Hale for an illegal loan to help pay off the Stephens Security Bank loan...
...The Old Cowboy is out of action now...
...Yet there are other aspects of the Clinton scandals and the Independent Counsel's investigations that ought to be borne in mind...
...White House spokesman Mike McCurry may also be setting the stage for this defense...
...What did this weird man mean by "delicate personal matters" in a supposedly serious speech uttered at the threshold of grave events...
...He is now, I believe, singing about the funny business involved in at least two famed Arkansas projects: Flowerwood Farms and Castle Grande...
...For my reports on Hale I have been accused of felonies by the learned Senator Robert (Teets) Torricelli...
...He wants the Justice Department to investigate The American Spectator, its lawyer Ted Olson, Richard Mellon Scaife, perhaps even the owner of that white Fiat that sped away from Princess Di's accident scene...
...Can Washington begin focusing on a more promising future...
...Ha, ha," Gene exults, "it was only a harmless stamp collection that drew these two remarkable human beings together...
...He complains that the president has never 'personally, publicly denied' Ms...
...Theson notes the present squalor that the Clintons have brought down on the office that so many prior presidents brought credit to...
...After all, the word merely denotes the relatively harmless pursuit of stamp collecting...
...Ah, yes, the dignity of the Clinton White House—did you see the Commander-in-Chief's exhortation to the troops the other day...
...His exact opposites, the Clintons, soon will be too...
...There was his line lifted from the movie Patton...
...I thought that was what the "Clintons' enemies" did...
...Jones's allegations....What he doesn't observe is that Mr...
...As with such lascivious prime-time themes as masochism, necrophilia, and Boy Clinton's now famous exculpatory fellatio, philatelism has a slightly risque sound to it...
...That audience doubtless accounts for his high—though, alas, evanescing— ratings...
...They involved Mrs...
...financial high jinks of the Arkansas machine lo these many years...
...Has philatelism been considered...
...As the PBS documentary suggests, Reagan's greatness will be made ever more apparent by the Clintons' puniness...
...It was tasteful, balanced, and left those of us who admired him through all the years of his momentous presidency confirmed in the notion that we had seen a great man in action...
...Is the president a philatelist...
...The investigators are "digging up dirt" on the "Clintons' enemies...
...Could this dramatic turn of events, which has been in the works for several weeks, explain the fury of the attacks on the Independent Counsel and on everyone connected with the story—reporters, prosecutors, innocent bystanders possessed of an unhappy observation on the Clintons and their boobs...
...It even gave him credit for the country's economic recovery...
...What if Hillary guaranteed an illegal loan (my sources say from Stephens Security Bank in Stephens, Arkansas...
...It gave him credit for ending the Cold War without a shot...
...Remember that $300,000 loan...
...Prime-time television is replete with mildly salacious jokes about sexual irregularities heretofore rarely discussed beyond the laboratories of the late Dr...
...Yet is philatelism all that bad when practiced between consenting adults—Monica was fully 21 at the time...
...Of course if the Boy President actually practices philatelism it probably is not a "harmless pursuit," not if practiced with a nubile cutie like Monica...
...You are the best-prepared, best-equipped, best-trained fighting force in the world," our anti-military, draft-dodging president intoned, echoing George C. Scott's exhortation to his troops while playing the role of General George Patton...
...And keep your eye on the Tucker story...
...And the press is showing due diligence...
...Tucker was Hale's lawyer—yes, that is right, Hale's lawyer...
...In him the Independent Counsel has another key witness, maybe the key witness...
...But that was before the 1960's and this colossal collection of frauds...
...Both the friends of the president and the growing number of skeptics are trying to discern what precisely brought together the Boy President and Beverly Hills High's most famous student for quiet meetings in the secure confines of his office...
...Tucker has been privy to much of the Adapted from 4ET's weekly Washington Times column syndicated by Creators Syndicate...
...Was he preparing the public for his philatelist defense...
...The president of the bank imposed on James McDougal to retire the loan...
...It even quoted his old adversary and even16 April 1998 • The American Spectator tual friend Mikhail Gorbachev esteeming him "a very great political leader...
...How far we have fallen from the Age of Roosevelt...
...Is it possible the Public Broadcasting Service is in on the conspiracy...
...If this unlikely duo was drawn together by a shared interest in philatelism it might explain a lot...
...And so it focuses on boobs: Monica, her pompous lawyer William Ginsburg, and Sidney Blumenthal and his scourge of private investigators...
...Read editorials C\ CI\ lleCk...
...Conason is as much of a ci sap...
...May retirement fetch them quickly...
...And the Boy President also suffered this inscrutable lapse...
...He was describing Sad-dam's "palaces...
...They must not be confused with "the White House complex," he noted...
...FDR practiced stamp collecting in the White House too, and no one was indecent enough to accuse him of adultery...
...Well, fellows, not in FDR's White House—the thirty-second president attended to his stamp collection alone...
...After the White House unveils its philatelomaniac gambit, one can well imagine Lyons and Conason crowing in triumph...
...Digging up dirt...
...Well, so much for the boobs...
...Yes, stamp collecting...
...Lyons is already peddling the line once used to defend the late Warren Gamaliel Harding...
...What if the Clintons have been lying about this under oath for years and as recently as just months ago...
...Visit LAS Online at \\ WW.SpeCtatOr.Org 18 April 1998 • The American Spectator...
...Then the amazing blunder: "We're not talking about a few rooms here with delicate personal matters involved...
Vol. 31 • April 1998 • No. 4
