The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS The Big Sleep; Soho dog show; Gorby fails detector test April ends, and the curtain comes down on the first hundred days of the Clintons' second administration. The...
...Visitors have been warned that, as Miss Sarah Watson, a gallery spokeswoman, put it, "He is not a nice house dog...
...Through barred windows :6' SoHo art lovers watch the Russian genius barking savagely as he Soccer to me...
...It "comes as a complete shock," he says...
...Morris's mission is to assist his former clients in balancing the budget while enduring gruesome therapy to rid himself of his tragic foot fetish...
...At the very end of the month the infallible Washington Times reported that both men have been brought together by their former political adviser, Mr...
...Of the thirteen major promises intoned in his soporific Inaugural Address, he has not made good on one...
...Robert Cerveny, is uncomfortable with the whole situation...
...Antonino Imerti, a Calabrian hit man, captured the spirit of the protest when he averred that making pasta is a "basic human right" How different from Arkansas, where the hoosegow in historic Bentonville will no longer serve hot meals...
...In Italy, prison officials shut down the high-security Pianosa prison, home to 15o major Mafia inmates, apparently because of the deplorable condition of the facility's pasta cookers...
...The audience is asleep...
...Knollenberg has noted that the new toilets are becoming feculent swamps, while at the same time denying Americans their Second Amendment rights...
...Kulik, a Russian performance artist, has moved into a barren, locked room at the Deitch Gallery...
...The Boy President is on the road...
...Oleg "Dog Man" Kulik is attracting throngs of New Yorkers to a posh art gallery in the trendy SoHo district of Manhattan...
...According to Benton County Sheriff Andy Lee, research indicates that baloney-and-cheese sandwiches conform perfectly with federal calorie guidelines, and they happen to be a gourmet favorite of the President of the United States...
...Mrs...
...Yet back to the weird Russian stories...
...Who might his therapist be, Dr...
...The chargé's wife discovered the singing Russian in her bathroom...
...Laborers at American shipyards who have been exposed to small amounts of radiation seem to live longer than those Americans with less exposure...
...Small doses of radiation are beneficial, according to some American researchers...
...He threw his coat on the floor and threatened never to return to Moscow again...
...Venyamin Shirshov of aviation security called "total hysterics" when stopped at Moscow's international airport after refusing to go through a metal detector...
...A six-year-old Tampa, Florida girl was arrested and led away in handcuffs for disrupting a crime-prevention class by throwing a stuffed animal and shouting militia-like epithets at her terrorized teacher...
...It's not like there was a document breach...
...Mikhail Gorbachev, who single-handedly lost the Cold War, went into what Mr...
...Dick Morris, whose sad demise at the feet of a Washington bawd has given new meaning to the term political footwork...
...Hillary Milhous is consulting with her lawyers...
...The Hon...
...This is the third time we've had trouble with him," Mr...
...It is just as if he had gone on a business trip," she confided...
...Kulik is viewing her husband's performance with aplomb...
...He is completely naked except for a leather dog-collar and will remain in the room sleeping on a dog bed and eating dog chow until his masterpiece is completed...
...It is unclear whether the professor, an admitted pedophile, had sexual congress with the boy or just wanted him around to wash his car, but the head of his department, Prof...
...It was bound to happen...
...Weird Russian stories, as well as weird American university professor stories, continue to enliven the news...
...Walter Conte, 51, pleaded no contest to videotaping cheerleaders as they changed for a beach party at his home...
...Security at the American embassy in Moscow had to be strengthened in April after a naked Russian male successfully made his way into the heavily policed compound, partook of the prodigious liquor cabinet of the chargé d'affaires, and then refreshed himself with a shower in the residence...
...8 June 1997 • The American Spectator paces on all fours...
...In Painesville, Ohio, high school principal Mr...
...And he seems to be getting increasingly vicious...
...In Albany, Georgia, Mr...
...Could there be any more reassuring evidence that this great man has truly moved to the political center...
...We don't want to make it into a bigger thing than it already is," E said an anonymous American diplomat...
...Hence it seems that all the Cold War nuclear disarmament bosh may have been rash and quite ill-advised...
...Unrest has grown at Pianosa, thirty-two miles off the Tuscan coast, as unreliable power supplies and outmoded equipment have made it increasingly difficult for the assorted assassins and drug traffickers to cook their pastas al dente, the preferred Mob style...
...Grumbles, however, emanate from both ends of the political spectrum as Clinton retreats from the left's socialism with a multicultural face and Senator Lott retreats from the shocking Contract With America...
...In a weird Russian story closer to home, Mr...
...Rush Limbaugh has launched a campaign of moral uplift after reading a report from Helsinki that soccer playing leaves its victims with lesions on the brain...
...Still, in the House of Representatives the Spirit of 1994 lives...
...Scholl...
...RET Not every mushroom cloud is poisonous The American Spectator • Jun e 1997 9...
...Out on the road the Boy President is heroically exhorting the American people to great deeds...
...It is only a matter of time before the Clintons (and Gores) try to join...
...One of the researchers, Professor Myron Pollycove, argues, "We have grown up in a world of natural radiation and low doses stimulate our cells to handle mutations...
...Professor Marvin Hersh allegedly purchased a Honduran boy while on a philatelist expedition to Latin America...
...Christopher Bradley, an Emmy Award–winning Walt Disney World graphic artist, has been arrested and charged with 129 counts of possession of child pornography...
...Joe Knollenberg, Michigan Republican, is moving to repeal the hateful toilet law passed before the Revolution of 1994 that limits toilets to using 1.6 gallons of water, about half the amount used previously...
...Shirshov explained...
...The crisis glows on...
...And apparently so has Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott...
...For those professors who would like to write to express their solidarity, colleague Hersh is being held at the Palm Beach County Jail...
...There is no applause, not even a Bronx cheer...
...He has founded a group to warn parents of the sport's dangers to our youth: Keep Our Own Kids Safe (KOOKS...
...is very unhealthy Come fly with me—nyet...
...While Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr inches ever closer, and congressional committees demand ever more documents, the Boy President calls for Education Standards, Early Child Development, Volunteerism...
...Unfortunately she has been charged with spousal abuse...
...Among the evidence is the discovery that survivors living at the outer limits of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki blasts are actually living longer than Japanese who received no radiation exposure...
...As for the latter, a Florida Atlantic University professor was arrested on April ii in Miami on charges of "alien smuggling...
...Oran McGlamry, 74, thwarted an armed robber by attacking him with a weed whacker...
...And feminists could take heart when a 5 3-year-old La Crosse, Wisconsin woman was accused of forcing her husband to live in a cellar...
...The Hon...
Vol. 30 • June 1997 • No. 6
