The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS Teacher's dirty tricks; a special pill; the Iceberg problem December marked the end of 1996 and brought us closer to the second inauguration of the Clintons. And more...
...but close observers of Mrs...
...Dow Ooten was suspended with pay after he presented assembled members of the school board with a clear plastic bag containing underwear and pants befouled by his own urine and feces...
...And let the Crisis go on...
...Hirsch of $loo...
...Though not notably religious before the blessed event, Mr...
...The respected monthly Hair International reports that career women are paying a gruesome price for competing with men...
...Beverly Whipple, professor of nursing at Rutgers, "Women can have sexual pleasure without anyone touching their bodies...
...According to Dr...
...Dave Lancaster, the shop's proprietor, has placed the bun in a purple velvet shrine and is maintaining tight security...
...But did Miss Phyllis Adelsflugel, the white kindergarten teacher in Charleston, South Carolina...
...Time will tell...
...Public school teachers continue to be a grave embarrassment throughout the Republic...
...Neither his testimony nor the smelly evidence he amassed, however, convinced the board...
...The vote count came to 116 for the right to life, 112 for termination...
...And what about counseling pupils to Clinton...
...Mike Cito was sentenced to two days in the hoosegow for sharpening a buckle on young Mike's football helmet...
...Many are becoming bald...
...And more indictments...
...From this Bible the man pulled a gun and relieved Mr...
...Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr is sitting on a mound of evidence, and during the White House Christmas celebrations the Clintons looked remarkably glum...
...The tape and the brochures will tell you everything you need to know to start and run a business from your home...
...but now Alderman Annette Scherbert has gotten into the act, and the show may go the way of so many other fine National Endowment for the Arts projects...
...Even Mrs...
...They are consummate professionals and carry out this very delicate and important task...
...The ongoing popularity among urban black males of the name Iceberg Abduhl Williams has caused a potentially expensive problem for Washington, D.C's Metropolitan Police...
...After weeks of convalescing from heart-bypass surgery, a vigorous President Boris Yeltsin returned to the Kremlin vowing to rid corruption from Russia and to eschew strong drink at least until his breakfast is fully digested...
...A computer check on an Iceberg Abduhl Williams, whom the police pulled over on a traffic violation, revealed that Iceberg Abduhl Williams was wanted for serious crimes, and the police immediately took their man to the lockup...
...Apparently the gifts alarmed the school board's secular purists, who believed that notepads imprinted with "God Bless You" might shock the third grade's atheists, agnostics, and believers in witchcraft, Purcellville being a very cosmopolitan community...
...Ooten, who arrived at the lavatory one afternoon without his key, panicked, suffering a personal calamity that let his students knowing "something was wrong...
...It's unprofessional behavior to bring soiled clothing into any room, for any meeting...
...That is the charge against a third-grade teacher in Purcellville, Virginia...
...Do you want to start your own business or add to one you already have...
...So you might be in a place where it might not be convenient to touch your body and have a wonderful sexual experience...
...Hillary Rodham Clinton have been noticing a perceptible thinning—and we are not referring to her anatomical dimensions...
...Swokowski should turn the blender on and render the fish a saffron-color purée...
...4760 CBSI, CBSI Plaza, Ste...
...Five players on a competing team suffered cuts from the mischief, which was inspired by the father's animus against humanity...
...Barry Komisaruk, a professor of psychology, and efficiency experts at the White House are viewing his work anxiously...
...The new "Discovery Kit" contains detailed brochures, plus three hours of cassette tapes that explain each business in detail along with the brochures...
...The glabrous Princess Caroline of Monaco is cited as an example...
...In Milwaukee, Wisconsin, enemies of the First Amendment fell on public-access cable television with the utmost ferocity...
...RET ound of bound Round m hair re Cassette Tapes Included FREE Home Business Discovery Kit...
...The feculent gift was made in the course of one of those moronic school board meetings wherein some pedestrian point is endlessly debated: the topic this time was the policy of locking school lavatories...
...In Charleston, West Virginia, fifth-grade teacher Mr...
...Clinton might benefit from the research...
...Upon discovering that Miss Shana Campbell was going to distribute to classmates Christmas gifts of a religious nature, her teacher (name withheld) counseled Miss Campbell and her mother to lie (i.e., to Clinton), telling her classmates that the gifts had been "misplaced...
...Yet 1996 ended on a very happy note...
...Vast areas of research at Rutgers University are now the domain of obvious sex maniacs...
...In December the state of Virginia executed eight convicted murderers, giving Virginia the highest number of public executions this year...
...Using "face-painting" as a "teaching tool," this doltish schoolmarm essayed to teach a black kindergartner never again to misplace her glasses, by writing on the child's face, "Where are my glasses...
...We shall see...
...Hear...
...4760, Sheridan, IN 46069 Our World Wide Web Home Page address is http://www.cbsinet.com Fax 1-317-816-7329 The American Spectator ?February 1997 9...
...CBSI, the world's largest supplier of computer home businesses, has just completed a New Special "Discovery Kit" that shows you 40 different businesses that you can run from your home with a computer...
...Don't start or run a home business until you call for your FREE Discovery Kit...
...There is no charge for the Discovery Kit—call or write today and we'll send the kit out to you immediately...
...Has a target letter been sent to the White House, along with Christmas greetings from Indonesia, South Korea, Thailand, and other spots in the exotic Orient...
...According to London's Times, researchers at the New Jersey university are pursuing experiments on the "vagus nerve" that could lead to the development of an "orgasm pill...
...David Botkins paused to note "the true, unsung heroes that carry out the order" —the Department of Corrections execution team...
...Lancaster says he now plans to go to confession...
...In Albuquerque, New Mexico, the father of Mr...
...In religious news, a likeness of Mother Teresa's face has appeared on a cinnamon bun at Nashville's famed Bongo Coffee Shop...
...1-800-343-8014, ext...
...There's no excuse for this," declared Superintendent Everett Conn...
...Callers were asked during the dinnertime show if the inimitable Mr...
...As Mr...
...David Hirsch was inspecting a run-down neighborhood with the intention of starting a business for the unemployed when a man holding a Bible approached him...
...The lewd mind behind the project is Dr...
...In Philadelphia, businessman Mr...
...The policy had been instituted to prevent another local outbreak of hand-foot-and-mouth disease, an ailment which has plagued West Virginia for generations and is invulnerable to medical prevention owing to religious beliefs among the rustics and to their strong aversion to soap...
...Hear...
...Bob Swokowski, hosted a call-in show featuring a half-dozen plump goldfish swimming in an i) ys aren't again Happy da here isn't what to be Breakfast it used 8 February 9 9 7 • The American Spectator Osterizer blender...
...How about a state dinner for the President of Indonesia, or whilst on a fundraising trip through Kuala Lumpur...
...The researchers have come to see the vagus nerve as a "superhighway transmitting orgasmic signals from our [sic] sexual organs to our [sic] brain...
...Kent Willis, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union, gibbered: "In the absence of a content-neutral policy on gift giving, the teacher made the right decision...
...If the president were to take the pill hourly he might get a lot more work done and be saved from encounters that have caused him great embarrassment in the past and at least one lawsuit...
...The police later discovered, however, that they had arrested the wrong Iceberg Abduhl Williams, who, if he can find a lawyer (particularly one named Iceberg), stands to win a substantial settlement...
...Department of Corrections spokesman Mr...
...Despite the enlightened example of a decade of grants from the National Endowment for the Arts, these churls became indignant when the avant garde broadcaster, Mr...
Vol. 30 • February 1997 • No. 2
