INCITES

...N S A followed none of the exhortations of the N e w Republic's Messrs...

...Chartered as a non-profit and non-political organization designed to provide services for university student governments, N S A has consistently failed to act in a manner commensurate with its charter...

...Jefferson Davis, our distinguished managing editor, adjudged the whole affair so absurd that he immediately issued a challenge to debate the visiting M o s c o w State Symphony...

...Truman Newberry Rev...

...jerry silvercloud is neither animal, vegetable nor mineral — he is a large, rusting tank of thaumaturgic laughing gas affecting those exposed to him in direct proportion to the person's intelligence...

...Oscar Wilde "The Waters are out and no human force can turn them back, but I do not see why as we go with the stream we need sing Hallelujah to the river god...

...NSA's jump in membership was short-lived, however, as the disillusioned once again began to withdraw from the organization...

...Publishers, The Saturday Evening Club Managing Editor, Jefferson Davis Business Manager, Dan C. Pflum Senior Editors, Hon...

...Fortunately these are not the traits of conspirators...

...seized upon Ramparts' charges for an effective counteroffensive, resulting in the only time in the past ten years N S A has significantly increased its membership...

...It was a landmark...

...In short it would mean someone in Ernie Pyle's Tabernacle would have to leam to write, edit, produce and market...

...In what constitutes a record of some sort, U.S.C...

...Subscriptions cost $10.00, and all correspondence (manuscrip's...

...N S A has claimed to have reformed its constitution by inserting the line ". . . no more than two members in a delegation m a y be selected by means other than a democratic election by their entire student body as long as this procedure does not conflict with the constitution or by-laws of the member school...

...Notice in Boston Transcript, October, 1835 "Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people...

...46 Washington Street...

...Nevertheless B29 proclaimed that if in the bowels of the student body, fifty self-righteous old maids feel conscience pangs over the presence of an organization or business offering services to Indiana pupils said organization must present an advocate to argue its raison d'etre before the assembled fuss-budgets...

...N o w w e shall have a really open university...

...Fulton Lewis III, remarking on this reform, parallels such qualified N S A democracy to a hypothetical ruling of national scope, asserting that such a qualification in the federal Constitution might read so as to assure ". .. civil rights for all citizens unless this statute is in conflict with the laws of Alabama...

...It would m e a n that the laziest reporters in Christendom could no longer cover their stories by telephone...

...And as it gossips only about the more bizarre campus follies, it is more than an extracurricular activity — it is a hoax and a nuisance...

...The present is a fair opportunity for the friends of the Union to smoke Thompson out...

...N o longer could they oogle around their A P teletype witlessly anticipating news of falling skies, invasions from Mars and the resurrection of george lincoln rockwell...

...James Fitzjames Stephen Liberty, Equality, Fraternity (1873) p. 242 "The standard research techniques of the sociologist — observation, interviewing, and the questionnaire — are peculiarly unsuited to the study of people who have committed suicide...

...has three times affiliated only to later rejoin eightyfive per cent of America's schools by withdrawing from N S A . Since its founding NSA's elitist nature appears as its most enduring feature...

...For instance, one group of students at a small Ohio university successfully campaigned against N S A by calculating the cost of membership as equal to one Hudepohl beer per student...

...It sent Stupid editors into catatonic trances, for they realized that if cut from the university's apron strings they would either fulfill the university community's needs or fail...

...Continually spuming reform and democratic procedures, most N S A representatives junketing on their fellow students' money are appointees...

...Weekly he emits himself before them in murky clouds which, while moving the janitors to hysteria, evoke from the senate only the most mimetic thoughtfulness...

...That infamous foreign scoundrel Thompson will hold forth this afternoon at The Liberator office no...

...Washington Star Syndicate, Inc...

...Thus, N S A is: 1) unpalatable to liberals and conservatives, 2) an undemocratic, self-perpetuating bureaucracy, 3) an organization in decline...

...Hence if you are an intelligent person his flatulent emissions will enthrall you in gales of laughter, but if you possess the intelligence quotient of a moron, a n imbecile, an idiot, most pupil senators or an editorial writer from the Daily Stupid you will, upon exposure to silvercloud, ponder his gas, skip off to a local salon and in the presence of other local lightweights pow-wow on his latest spray...

...Alan B. Somers 5 GOVERNOR WHITCOMB by Sir Arthur Wellesley 6 KELLEY'S COMMON-PLACE BOOK by John Kelley 8 NSA — NATIONAL BOONDOGGLE by Jefferson S. Davis 8 FLYING W H E R E WITH N O R M A N W H O by George Washington Plunkitt 10 BY George Nathan Dr...

...Raymond W . Mack Transforming America (New York, 1967), p. 26 // N S A - National B o o n d o g g l e " by Jefferson S. Davis The National Student Association, in spite of increasing attacks leveled against it from all reaches of America's political landscape, is once again attempting to claim the right to speak for America's college students...

...George Nathan D John Kelley Associates, Jameson G. Campaigne, Jr...

...The conservative Young Americans for Freedom (YAF) and the Students to Oppose Participation in NSA (STOP NSA) have traditionally served as amplifiers for anti-NSA sentiment...

...Long opposed by student pragmatists regardless of ideological persuasion, N S A has been axed by a number of student bodies on the obvious grounds that it was ineffective and expensive...

...Continued on Page 8) INCITES (Continued from Page 2 II Yet the pupil senate is not the only campus organization affected by silvercloud, for his miraculous fumes influence stupid people everywhere...

...Since its inception N S A has been a self-perpetuating bureaucracy living high on the hog from the involuntary contributions of students attending member schools...

...It is probably the most progressive legislation since Prohibition...

...Y A F attacks NSA on the grounds that while N S A supposedly represents only student governments, in issuing various resolutions it claims to represent America's students...

...At the same time, armed with the usual bait of free tickets, impressive titles and jobs in NSA's bureaucracy, N S A presented itself to leftists as the injured party, viciously raped by the CIA, and demanded an apology from the CIA's guardian, Uncle Sam...

...T o join N S A is sort of like buying stock in Edsel Racing Division — good luck sucker...

...T H E A L T E R N A T I V E : Published remarkably without regard to race, color, creed, or t most redundantly of all) national origin...

...Last year TAe Alternative coordinating with the Yale Daily offered the pupil senate a splendid plan for weaning the Stupid from the university's bosom and operating it independently...

...How else to explain the highflown preachments of a handful of trade school undergraduates to a community of thirty thousand scholars (give or take a few conspirators) ? Scribbled by an elitist clique of pompous hinds and literary dwarves the Stupid has in this past year shown that it lacks both solicitude and capacity for serving the majority of Indiana students...

...should be sent to The Alternative, R. R. 11, Box 360, Bloomington, Indiana 47401, Continental U. S. A. T O B A R E T H E W I T N E S S A N D T H E T R U T H CONTENTS INCITES by George Nathan 2 LIBERTARIANISM: ONE VIEW by P. E. Michelson 3 THE WEDDING BAND by Stojan Tesich 3 REVIEWS by R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr 4 NIXON AS A LIBERAL AND W H A T W E CAN DO by Dr...

...It would be the end of everything...

...The Stupid editors did suggest Byrne might make the story a little more newsworthy by "whipping up a demonstration for Campus Chest...

...While Y A F recognizes the legitimacy of any individual's or group's holding political opinions, such stands as 1) advocating ghetto riots, 2) asking the U. S. Governcauses as the United Negro College Fund...

...Special Effects, D. Peyton McQuillen The Alternative was foimded in 1924 by George Nathan and Tniman Newberry oyer a cheap domeslic beer in McSorley's Old Ale House...

...With typical duplicity, officials represented N S A to unwary moderates and conservatives as a respectable organization — cleansed of its left wing activities by the abandonment of Ramparts and the N e w Republic...

...Though it still falls short of the Hoosier Solons' all-time record set thirty years ago by some idiot w h o urged that the quantity pi (EI), 3.14159, be decreed by this great commonwealth as 3, "for that will make it easier to work with...

...Brilliant...

...The left-wing magazine Ramparts discovered whence came all the bread to support N S A bureaucrats' world tours: studying a ten year period they discovered N S A financially bound to — lo and behold — the CIA...

...i###^^##j»#<»####»##^>#^#»#i##^#^^sr#^^'^#^^#-#.»^'#-»^#.».#'#^ ment to propose the admission of Communist China to the United Nations, and 3) condemning the "agression of the U . S. Government against the people of Vietnam" hardly represent student opinion and ought not to be financed through student fees or taxes...

...Roaring away about everything from how gosh-awful sensitive our generation is to the exigency of racial discord, the Stupid offered but perfunctory support to Campus Chest which donates to such worthy — though unglamorous — <<#^#^»##^-##'^^»<»##^#'^####^^^^#»»»##^^^^S#'»^^N»^#»^^^*>#^^#»#^^^'#»»<*»#^'##'»»^^^^#^*^^^#^^#^»#^^^^^^^^^»#-»^^»#-^# Kelley's C o m m o n - P l a c e B o o k by John Kelley "The conjunction of dreaming and ruling generates tyranny...

...Most students clearly felt the recent chancellorship election a fraud, yet the Stupid boomed it as the dawn of a new democratic era, fawned over the three mountebanks contending against R. Emmett Tyrrell Jr...

...While the Stupid chased all those sensitive students about, donations fell from 1968's $6000 to this year's exiguous $3500 (including the Union Board's generous grant of $1800...

...The Stupid does not report campus news unless it concerns some radical's seance or "relevant demonstration...

...A n d the liberal N e w Republic contended N S A ". . . ought to be disbanded at once...

...Involving itself in politics and assuming an ever further left-leaning posture, N S A has over the years been ousted from many campuses under conservative leadership...

...Contrasted for sheer humor with the legislative aspirations of our incomparable State Legislature, it transcends even the H o n . Francis Gaylord's attempt to legislate minimum standards for dog houses, the Hon...

...Pleading ignorance regarding the source of its funds, NSA's public relations men, faithful to Plunkitt's law ("I seen m y opportunities and I took 'em...

...Similar bills have recently been passed at leading Czechoslovakian universities...

...And how many students followed the Stupid's exhortations to vote in the election...

...Mixing pathos with absurdity the Stupid informed Dave Byrne, chairman of Campus Chest, that they would not publish a picture of the Union Board delivering its check, for the Stupid judges such stories unnewsworthy...

...who asked those supporting his view not vote), refused to publish that great American's epistles to the editor, and in the end saw 28,500 people endorse Tyrrell's position that it is not democratic for a full time administrator to be elected by a transient constituency of faculty and student which changes by as much as fifty per cent yearly...

...A Purse of $100 has been raised by a number of patriotic citizens to reward the individual who shall first lay violent hands on Thompson so that he may be brought to the tar kettle before dark...

...Naturally, as the conspiracy has thoroughly infiltrated the Daily Stupid, it comes as no surprise that that organization is thoroughly enervated by herr silvercloud's risibiUc vapor...

...In fact the Stupid failed so totally in this area that no less than three off-campus publications must compensate for its shortcomings...

...Originally published on restroom walls, only since 1967 has it come under purview of the Saturday Evening Club which publishes it from September through June...

...The only decent course is for its officers and staff to resign, for its representatives abroad to be recalled, for its programs to be suspended...

...LOYAL READERS, M Y CASE RESTS...

...T o fully appreciate B29's cackling good humor you must remember that silvercloud submitted it to a pupil senate which has lo, these m a n y years fought the good fight for such "a free and open university," that n o w any freak from Eldridge Cleaver to a member of the Mattachine Society can come down to old I. U., armed with the good word, to pander his moonshine...

...subscriptions, threatening letters, federal grants, etc...

...The University of Southe m California's withdrawal was instructive, though that university must sport a fantastic array of the most gullible student politicians yet known to pupildom...

...Rather than report campus social, cultural and athletic events, the Stupid patches its pages with A P and U P I releases on squat-ins at Queens College...

...It just does not respect what Irving Kristol would call I. U.'s passive majority...

...Evidence of its arrogance staggers the imagination, but consider the most recent examples...

...Simply stated, the Stupid with its stipend of $250,000 is little more than an extracurricular activity for lamebrains and ideologues with a penchant for gossip...

...Lewis further indicates the hollow nature of the reform inasmuch as a great number of NSA's member schools have enrollments of less than two-thousand, qualifying them for only two delegates — who, under the terms of the reform, could still be appointed...

...Less than 1500 — in fact more pupils watched the main library bum and twice as many drank free coffee in the Commons during final week...

...Michael Oakeshott, Rationalism and Politics T H O M P S O N T H E ABOLITIONIST...

...C. H. Simonds D R. Dennis Tyrrell Contributors, Gregg F. Shull D Jerry Gerde Judy Mathews D Brian Dye Mary Qwaint D Sir Arthur Wellesley Staughton Lynd D Steamboat Anthony Comstock D Squirrel T. Agnew Alien Contributors, Alan Somers, M.D...

...Perhaps no campus group is more susceptible to his gas than the Pupil Senate...

...But the left's attacks on N S A have been most damaging...

...Friends of the Union be vigilant...

...Kermit O. Burrous' ridiculous effort to regulate the size and complexion of cucumbers and Casanova Burton's attempt to revive the chastity belt...

...Ridgeway and Kopkind...

...Remember silvercloud's fantastic bill, B29...

...S. In reply the first commissar of violins intoned a nutink doink which is U S S R for uh uh...

...It will be a contest of the Union...

...Members of The Conspiracy (here the Reverend Nathan refers to The Conspiracy of Stupidity which he described so eloquently in an earlier essay) have shockingly low tolerance...