WHO CAUSES POVERTY?
Tyrrell, R. Dennis
T H E A L T E R N A T I V E : W I T N E S S A N D T H E T R U T H Published remarkably without regard to race, color, creed, or (most redundantly of all) national origin. contents silverfish...
...Our dated legal system has failed ineffably...
...In America there is room for the gingerbread homes of the 1890's and the structures of Frank Lloyd Wright...
...Thus the judge takes a bribe and the recusant heads for dark doorways, there to recoup his losses...
...In the latter case he starves...
...Adenauer I repeat his oft neglected aphorism, "God limited man's intelligence, why not his stupidity...
...Upon encountering a conspirator, any intelligent thinking person shall administer whatever punishment he deems fitting, independent of our archaic legal system...
...Yet going beyond mere excavation of the problem, I have devised a method for dealing with the conspirators whose logic tugs irresistibly...
...Forthwith I cast m y lot with those distinguished political theorists contemporarily ascribing to the conspiracy theory of American politics...
...Conservatives have opposed the recent aggrandizement of power granted to the Federal government through the civil rights acts precisely because they fully comprehend that human rights cannot be preserved through the power of government but through its absence...
...Publishers, T h e Saturday Evening Club Managing Editor, Jefferson Davis Business Manager, Baron Von Kannon Editorial Staff, Hon...
...In fact the first party holding a national convention, the Anti-Masonic Party, charged the Masons were conspiring to assassinate all their enemies...
...George Nathan Sir Arthur Wellesley Associates, Jameson G. Campaigne, Jr...
...The last Republican president...
...John Kenneth Galbraith, a member of the new class, argues that people should not be allowed to waste money on insolent chariots...
...Asserting that Bank of the United States' Nicholas Biddle was constricting that institution's ample tentacles to subvert republican government, Andrew Jackson joined those with a yen for good conspiracy...
...America will return to those serene times when, wisely restricting the vote, we dispatched stupid people to the frontier and rather than fill our universities with stupid pupils sent them to battle Britishers, Latins, and Prussians, preferably with defective weaponry...
...Today the President disciplines those who oppose him, while appealing to the people for support in much the style of a neo-divine right monarch...
...For twenty years Hubert Humphrey allergically avoids any rendez-vous with decisiveness whatsoever and then has the gall to campaign for the presidency...
...Ironically, American history has made a complete reversal in the period 17891968...
...He and the new class would uplift people's taste (whether they liked it or not...
...Of course, as m y colleague Mr...
...T H E A L T E R N A T I V E : W I T N E S S A N D T H E T R U T H Published remarkably without regard to race, color, creed, or (most redundantly of all) national origin...
...Thus, happenstance your path is crossed by an underdeveloped intellectual or hippie it shall be malum in se for you to pummel, boil, tweak, gouge, maim, spay, burn, flay, bastinado or even wash the pediculous creature...
...Perhaps Galbraith has superior tastes, but the elite can have tastes as gross as they are pervasive...
...He can, if he chooses, select a mauve-colored, insolent chariot, decked with fins, fake air scoop and acres of chrome...
...Truman Newberry Rev...
...Take jerry silverfish, the campus' leading anti-semite...
...Though for utter absurdity I am unable to match such fustian as the 1823 "Society for Distressed and Decayed Harbor Pilots," "The National Council of Churches," and "The Black Panther Party," genuflecting before almost two hundred years of imbecility I submit the following: SURFERS CLUB OF GREATER BOISE COMMITTEE FOR A SAVAGE NUCLEAR POLICY (SANE) EDSEL RACING DIVISION WOMEN CONCERNED WITH TURNING-ON UBANGIS (WCTU) ADDLEBRAINS FOR DEMOCRATIC ACTION (ADA) BROTHERHOOD OF RAILROAD FEATHERBEDDERS FRATERNAL ORDER OF ARTICHOKE HEARTS BROTHERHOOD OF WINE TESTERS, SEED SPITTERS AND GRAPE PICKERS OF DELANO, CALIFORNIA Continued from Page 5 FREEDOM which the direction of economic activity requires...
...B. Those very Black Power theoreticians who shrilly remind white America it cannot possibly appreciate negritude writhe in utter dismay when the I. U. Homecoming Committee fails to select a Negro among its finalists...
...Government must coerce people to work at certain jobs or the plan fails, thereby restricting the freedom of the individual to work where and how he wishes...
...Such disarray derives only from conspiracy...
...Anthony Comstock Special Effects, D. Peyton McQuillen The Alternative was founded in 1924 by George Nathan and Trumaii Newberry over a cheap domestic bsor in McSorley's Old Ale House...
...Under m y benign system the conspiracy will fade to the obscurity of GauUism and Communism...
...Further, with the evanescence of capital punishment all excitement has drained from adjudication, leaving it to dull fellows...
...Yet inexorably the conspiracy creeps, now menacing even the seven hills of Bloomington...
...It was not by accident but design that the founding fathers, in drafting the Bill of Rights, stated in Article I that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof...
...General Eisenhower, understood this fact and confined his actions to the role of a "whig" president...
...In — Continued on Page 10 SILVERFISH Continued from Page 2 1800 Thomas Jefferson imputed conspiracy to John Adams in alleging his presidential opponent was conspiring to introduce monarchy...
...should be sent to The Alternative, R. R. 11, Box 360, Bloomington, Indiana 47401, Continental U. S. A. S l L u e ^ U ^ oiid &tUen...
...the human heart grasps at more...
...Eagerly I join with such eminences as Robert Welch and Columbia's misdirected scatologist, Daniel Bell, for m y seismograph indicates a hideous conspiracy rumbling beneath the land...
...While exclaiming profusely a concern for the individual's rights, liberals are generating governmental power which is slowly strangling every man's freedom...
...So it is that I stand humbly with Jefferson, Jackson, Lincoln and Welch to elucidate yet another conspiracy — the conspiracy of stupidity...
...Those of tender sensibilities might decry this a calloused approach, but does there exist for us other recourse...
...In his desire for a mixed form of government, with roles for a strong executive, an oligarchic Senate and a people's House, Adams, although not present at the Constitutional Convention, strongly influenced the decisions of that august body — for m a y present had read his Defence...
...What Senator J. William Fulbright deplores, political scientist James MacGregor Bums applauds — the slippage of power away from the Senate towards the Executive...
...Otherwise he might just be sent off to the O R K I N man...
...Punklitt points out in his forthcoming book People I Have Known, conspiracies are in the American tradition...
...contents silverfish and other pests DOWN WITH OCHLOCRACY, UP WITH WHAT'S LEFT by John Kelley 3 FREEDOM: THE GROOVE THAT BECAME A RUT by Sir Arthur Wellesley 4 THE EXPRESSIVE WILLIAM BUCKLEY A SALUTE TO PLAYBOY'S THE ALTER NATIVE Editor in Chief, R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr...
...Galvanizing community spirit and combatting apathy, m y solution will obviate our tired legal system and eliminate the conspiracy of stupidity...
...Then too, with the forebearance of anti-vivisectionists, we might dissect them for science...
...If government can compel one to work, it also can deprive that individual of a job if he does not please the state...
...It can be as banal as the wedding-cake architecture of Stalin's Russia from which no deviation was allowed — Stalin obviously possessed no knowledge of architecture, but his barbaric tastes nonetheless were inflicted on the people who paid for such monstrosities as the University of Moscow...
...The popular and antiFederalist elements in the government shouted down these monarchial airs...
...In the early days of the Republic, a rabblerouser who knew whereof he spoke, S a m Adams, slyly commented: "Few m e n are contented with less power than they have a right to exercise...
...Consider: T O B A R E T H E by George Nathan 2 by Kevin Berry 6 FIFTEENTH ANNIVERSARY by George Nathan 8 by R. Dennis-Tyrrell 8 by George Nathan 11 A. As the rate of assault on campus soars, the pupils' senate idiotically demands campus gendarmes dispose of their artillery...
...And, more currently, the soil lay afresh John F. Kennedy's grave when murmurs of conspiracy began...
...John Adams clearly understood this process when he wrote his classic three-volume work, A Defense of the Constitutions of Government of the United States of America, citing the many frailties of a republican form of government...
...The ambition of Page 10 serts (let your conscience be your guide...
...or abridging the freedom of speech or of the press...
...Capitalism, on the other hand, can cater to a variety of tastes...
...I refer to it picturesquely as a conspiracy of stupidity...
...It is time to hold the line, less the Republic go imder...
...Briefly, economic planning requires coercion...
...In 1858 Abraham Lincoln spotted a conspiracy embracing two presidents, a chief justice, and an Illinois senator...
...Internationalist or isolationist, advocates of "fortress America" or supporters of "the rule of world law," disciples of Taft or students of Vandenburg — wise m e n of the Senate must recoup their constitutional powers of examination, deliberation and formation of foreign policy, or else accept the logical extrapolation of the import of the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution: a Runnymede in reverse...
...In 1789 John Adams, Federalist extraordinaire, proposed to address the President as "His Highness, the President of the United States of America, and Protector of their Liberties...
...Erstwhile great, Britain in fifty years establishes a world record for cultural decline by electing forty years of milksops...
...But how else to interpret the American comedy...
...P e ^ BY George Nathan One whiff of America is all I need...
...Claiming to create freedom for Negroes through Federal intervention, liberals are enslaving blacks and whites alike in an omnipotent state...
...Yet the Democrats, in one year, 1968, threaten that record by considering for president three Harold Wilsons and a demented Howard Johnson...
...of the right of people peacefully to assemble (militant demonstrators might note the word "peacefully") and to petition the govem— Continued on Page 12 Page 11...
...When Negroes have been denied their rights it is because government has failed in its duty to treat people equally — providing some the protection of the law while refusing it to others...
...Need I continue...
...Tom Charles Huston Donald C. Pence Contributors, Louisa Porter Jerry Gerde Judy Mathews Barb Brown Mary Qwaint Sharon Rogers George Washington Plunkitt Alien Contributors, Alan Somers, M.D...
...Since the state controls production, the individual must produce for the state or not produce at all...
...The country will be the beneficiary if Nixon learned something from his association with the General...
...For this is the normal cycle of history: tyranny to oligarchy to mobocracy and back to tyranny...
...These clods generally, rather than render a wrong doer inoperable, levy a fine...
...Capitalism is anathema to liberals because they cannot compel the individual to accept their ideas of what he should buy...
...M y system will circumvent these Boobs of the Bench...
...Subscriptions cost $10.00, and all correspondence (manuscripts, subscriptions, threatening letters, federal grants, etc...
...Finally, it will appeal to all, for it represents the ultimate in participatory democracy...
...Since the 1930's it has begun to move dangerously close to mobocracy, the welfare state, with all its attendant evils...
...INCITES Ori^nally publiahe-l on restroom walls, only since 1967 has it come under purview of the Saturday Evening Club which publishes it from September through June...
...I N C I T E S BY George Nathan Recently I offered possible names for those future asinine organizations Americans are so wont to concoct, and the response was thunderous...
...mere melodrama, or worse, advancing paranoia (you read a book on it...
...Or, he can buy a black V W beetle...
...In experimenting on him, doctors might possibly cure his illness with a transplant, assuming they could obtain a brain small enough to fit his cranium...
...After cautious development we might even allow the civic-minded to exterminate all youths exhibiting the S D S syndrome after a specific age, say seven...
...Ho-hum and pooh-pooh you say...
...And it shall be malum prohibitum only if your punishment exceeds the hippie's just deD O W N WITH OCHLOCRACY Continued from Page 3 the usurpation of the senatorial prerogative by the executive branch...
...Taking the epistomological ground of Dr...
...C. Crushed, the Homecoming Committee cancels its contest, endorsing the Black Power mythos, admitting the hopelessness of education and overruling Brown v. Board of Education (the logical corollary of which is to cancel any activity distantly reflecting the tastes of a majority, which is to say, close down the university, the society, the civilization...
...T he delegates — Continued on Page 11 D O W N WITH OCHLOCRACY Continued from Page 10 to the Constitutional Convention of 1787, under Adams' sway, accomplished what no similar body before or since has mastered: they stopped that historical cycle from "tyranny back to tyranny" at midpoint — between oligarchy and mobocracy...
...For nearly 150 years in a most remarkable feat, the United States froze the swing of that awful pendulum at its nadir...
Vol. 2 • December 1968 • No. 3
