The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS Spring snow, rushing rivers, and a guarded Mr. Abdul-Rauf March came in like a lion who stayed, dumping snow and ice and rain and sleet from Montana to Nebraska to Indiana to...
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...Back in Denver, hot-shooting guard Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf of the NBA's Nuggets, a Muslim since switching his name from Chris Jackson, was suspended for refusing to stand for the pre-game playing of our (if no longer his) national anthem...
...For the 213th year in a row, the swallows chose March 19 to return to the San Juan Capistrano Mission, not allowing the leap year to disrupt their timing nor the presence of 20,000 gawkers to abort their landings...
...It's the latest Clinton stretch: to contend that tobacco-tainted Starr cannot be fair to occupants of a no-smoking White House...
...Sam Gibbons announced his retirement, after only seventeen terms in the House...
...She has already renounced her right to be called "Her Royal Highness," and rightly so: a list of her annual expenditures covered by the prince included not only $150,000 for clothes and nearly $50,000 on hair coloring and other beauty essentials, but $12,000 on "alternative therapies like colonic irrigation and aromatherapy," a reminder indeed of just how common she is...
...David Hale, the most credible figure yet to emerge in the White-water affair, was rewarded for his forthrightness with a 28-month sentence and a restitution order of some $2 million...
...In a bit of rhetorical bravura on March 26, he declared that "the battle for America's future is beginning tonight...
...at their usual pace, most recently the 44-foot whale that washed ashore dead on Cape Cod early in the month...
...In Denver, Colorado, a speech on river conservation by Vice President Gore was accompanied by the roaring rush of waters from the South Platte River-92 million gallons' worth specially released for the occasion...
...Florida Rep...
...Meanwhile, go figure: In New York, the When the wife and kid are away, I get to play Like a troubled bridge over water 8 May 1996 The American Spectator Knicks fired coach Don Nelson because, according to his players, he wasn't pushing them hard enough in practice...
...Until now, everyone assumed that the only 1, symbol of oppression and tyranny in Mr...
...Maybe it was one of his kids...
...Another pink of sorts, Sen...
...He was last seen comparing his Republican colleagues to the forces he landed on Normandy to fight back in 1944...
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...Abdul-Rauf March came in like a lion who stayed, dumping snow and ice and rain and sleet from Montana to Nebraska to Indiana to Arlington, Virginia...
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...With the touch of a button, Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt set in motion the release of 117 billion gallons of water from the Colorado River into the Grand Canyon, a project worthy of Chris-to himself...
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...Russia and the United States played chicken again, and this time Moscow won, banning American chicken imports from folks like Don Tyson, who stands to lose $180 million in annual sales...
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...Was this the same McDougal who shortly thereafter was seen downtown most every night, dining with his 25-year-old girlfriend...
...The Clinton folks can't keep the Chinese from closing the Taiwan Straits, but they can move rivers...
...George Burns, the merry widower, died on March q. He was loo, and any day now Richard Cohen will write that he died of cigar-smoke inhalation...
...President Bill, in any event, was a few steps ahead of him...
...Why not tomorrow night...
...Senator Bob Dole won every primary he entered, much to the dismay of at least half of those who voted for him...
...Raises Eyebrows Over Independent Counsel's Work...
...Edmund Muskie, died in Washington...
...Webb Hubbell, by contrast, got off with only zi months and a much smaller fine —but then he didn't really cooperate, and he's a much bigger fish than Hale, by at least izo lbs...
...If we ask for an independent counsel, let's leave Kenneth Starr out of it...
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...No one much cared until he explained that he does so because he regards the star-spangled banner as a symbol of oppression and tyranny, whereupon every columnist and editorialist worthy of a Columbia School of Journalism degree rallied to his side...
...On March 24 he gave his own glimpse of the future, or at least a future when we have an all-woman military, dispatching his legal wife and one-and-only child into the Bosnian war zone while he stayed out of harm's way and celebrated with 36 holes of golf...
...Or is this another Big Apple con...
...He's already under fire from the Wall Street Journal, whose Washington wonders ran this headline: "Starr's Legal Work for Tobacco Industry...
...Above its March 24 Style section, it ran this caption: "As Unbiased as the Next Pinko Rag...
...The vice president denied any role in planning the diversion...
...In the meantime, Russian imports of the usual quality continue to flow into the U.S...
...On the eve of the New York primary, and six months too late, Mr...
...Incidentally, everyone around here misses Lamar Alexander, and hopes he runs again soon for the highest office in the land...
...Nearly joining the recently deceased—or so it seemed was Arkansas raconteur James McDougal, who just about collapsed during his trial at the federal court house in Little Rock, and in a touching scene had to be helped from the court room, cane in hand, by his former wife, Susan...
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...Even more than Gary Hart, the poor man was simply ahead of his time...
...Abdul-Rauf's life was t his coach, who's been trying for years to get this young man to r, play some defense...
...The goal was to replenish endangered warmwater fish such as the humpback chub and razorback sucker, though one can only wonder how many species of reptile and insect were wiped out by the surging whitewater...
...Of course, in coming out for Forbes he stressed he wasn't opposing Bob Dole—and right after the vote offered to act as a bridge to the Dole camp...
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...If she moves to New York, don't be surprised if she acquires the services of Miss Carol Meyer, a personal breath consultant who for $125 offers what she calls a breath makeover...
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...My best guess is that it was E.J...
...Dionne, Jr., trying to impress Lloyd Grove, though if these names mean nothing to you, count yourself blessed...
...For a minefield closer to home, the Clintons could have chosen Waterford, Virginia, where under an old oak tree on his family's property 12-year-old Brian Rickert found the perfect item for show-and-tell: a 12-pound Parrott shell of Civil War vintage...
...Also in Los Angeles, Mr...
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...Jack Kemp fulfilled a promise and endorsed Steve Forbes...
...In Washington, former Ohio congressman, Buz Lukens was convicted on bribery charges over a payment of $15,000 which he thought was being given to him as an act of charity...
...Who sent you, Jack, Al D'Amato...
...Naturally the only thing he will be remembered for is that he allegedly cried in public during the 1972 Democratic primary campaign...
...The first day of spring was duly canceled, everywhere that is, except California, where it is traditionally observed on December 21...
...And what's with the Washington Post...
...In London, England, Great Britain, United Kingdom, despite all the recent IRA-sponsored unpleasantness, negotiations moved ahead in the historic divorce proceedings involving Prince Charles, 47, who remains a strong contender for the British throne, and his estranged wife, Diana, the Princess of Wales, who is 34...
...145, SHERIDAN, INDIANA 46069 The American Spectator • May 1996 9...
...Of course, sometimes the administration wastes water just for the hell of it...
...Cooler heads prevailed, Loudoun County officials disposed of the projectile, and young Brian received an incomplete in his show-and-tell studies...
...Does Don Imus have listeners inside Len Downie's newsroom...
...Finally, Mr...
...Paul Pink, a founder of Pinks, a hot dog stand that catered to the stars, died at 87...
Vol. 29 • May 1996 • No. 5
