The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS On track: Paula, baby, Budgie, and Benito's Bonita As January plopped into the dustbin of history, a dwindling band of Clintonites were heard chanting "All Is Well, All Is...
...THE CONTINUING CRISIS On track: Paula, baby, Budgie, and Benito's Bonita As January plopped into the dustbin of history, a dwindling band of Clintonites were heard chanting "All Is Well, All Is Well...
...Julianne Malveaux was again in the news...
...Frank Dorsa, developer of the frozen waffle...
...The White House released a 1993 memo by former White House aide Mr...
...Queen Elizabeth II, who likes cartoons and has even given birth to one, has been leery of rescuing the Duchess from her financial drear ever since photographs were published showing the pulchritudinous royal having her toes sucked by Mr...
...David Watkins explaining that there would be "hell to pay" if he did not "take swift and decisive action in 2, conformity with the First Lady's wishes" that employees at the White House Travel Office be fired...
...She might also have been asked about a $177,000 commodities miracle she allegedly experienced through the earthly medium of Little Rock's Stephens Inc...
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...The federal government was shut down another two days when a fascinating Blizzard hit the east coast, leaving the thesis of global warming increasingly doubtful and therefore even more emphatically an article of faith with the Environmental Wackos, as Mr...
...Martin Luther King, Mr...
...Jones is suing Our President for what in modern post-feminist parlance is called "sexual harassment," those with a sense of history recognize that the Boy President is being charged with indecent exposure—another Clinton first...
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...Yet even these obdurate souls could not deny that by the end of January Bill Clinton had, alas, lost his sex appeal...
...Michael Mathews, whom the New York Times describes as a "performance artist and one of Ping Chong's principal collaborators," died in Amsterdam of the AIDS complaint...
...Thus once again on a daily basis this one man continued deploying more intellect and learning than the combined intelligence of the Harvard faculty, the Yale faculty, and the Bronx Zoo...
...A grateful nation welcomes this unsurpassed American genius back...
...Taking a page from Gandhi and the Rev...
...The dispute, and Mrs...
...Late in the month agreement was reached to keep the government open through March 15, if only to quiet the President and restrain him from repeated"Hmm...how does that recipe go...
...He is survived by Miss Sheree Rose, his dominatrix of the last fifteen years, and several relatives who would rather remain anonymous and unhurt...
...A rare type of amnesia that often afflicts organized crime figures who appear before congressional hearings seems to have attacked half a dozen or more White House aides, present and retired, testifying before the Senate...
...145 Or Write...
...Over the past two years four prestigious health panels have so concluded...
...In Rome the granddaughter of the late fascist dictator Mr...
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...Late in the month independent counsel Kenneth Starr subpoenaed Mrs...
...Nor was this all...
...Though Mrs...
...The calamity can be precisely dated...
...Rush Limbaugh calls them...
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...RET On the casting throne: "Donde este el bano...
...Webster Hubbell is writing a book while in prison...
...Wu Ming, discovered the accident an emergency telephone call was made to Wuxiang station...
...Sarah Ferguson, who sold a U.S...
...Clinton to explain the miraculous event to a Washington grand jury...
...Benito Mussolini won a beauty contest that puts her in line to become Miss Italy—and who knows what after that...
...at this writing the grand jury's proceedings remain secret...
...In December Miss Malveaux was sentenced to two years probation for her vile-mouthed assault of an airline attendant during a 1994 flight from the American heartland which understandably had put her under enormous stress...
...The idiotic Dr...
...It is usually treated with the charge of perjury...
...Paula Corbin Jones's sexual harassment case against him can proceed to trial...
...Clinton's claim that she was not a party to the firings...
...Carolyn Huber found them in the family quarters, just sitting there on a table...
...and an especially trained SWAT team found the baby, a boy, lying on the tracks in freezing weather, but unhurt...
...John Bryan, her "financial adviser...
...According to the Beijing Evening News, the Toilet Baby was born two-months premature in a train lavatory just twenty minutes outside Wuxiang station in China's northern Shaanxi Province and then inadvertently flushed down the toilet and out onto the tracks...
...High art keeps exacting a grisly toll upon its practitioners of genius...
...Limbaugh's Advanced Institute for Conservative Studies reopened in January after The Master took his brief Christmas break...
...Todd Stern, a White House special assistant, also refuted Mrs...
...Budgie deficit: Largesse oblige 8 March 199 6 • The American Spectator ly breaking the Eighth Commandment...
...When the baby's father, Mr...
...Clinton's subsequent round of mind-numbing lies, prompted New York Times columnist William Safire to call Mrs...
...The leftist economist, who regularly butchers English on television commentary shows and utters the kind of puerile bloopers generally associated with semi-literate high school dropouts, has had her radio talk-show canceled for lack of funding...
...Oliver Stone nor any other Hollywood genius has bid for the movie rights to the infant's life...
...To keep the program on the air she is attempting to raise $350,000, though the sum is probably beyond her grasp since the collapse of the Soviet Union...
...145, SHERIDAN, INDIANA 46069 The American Spectator • March 1996 9...
...According to Mr...
...That "controversial" finding that the Gulf War Syndrome is bunk, published in the May 1995 issue of The American Spectator, received still more confirmation when the National Academy of Science released a report concluding that there is no evidence of any "previously unknown, serious illness among Persian Gulf veterans...
...Another memo released by the House Government Reform and Oversight Commit-o tee and written by Mr...
...This is a proven business an individual or couple can run...
...Early in January the White House (it is still called "white" despite the tarnish done its repute by the present regime) announced that the billing records of the first lady (she is still called a lady), subpoenaed by the independent counsel two years ago and on the lam ever since, had mysteriously appeared...
...That nation's disturbing lurch to the right continues...
...Clinton's appearance took place on the afternoon of January 26, making her the first wife of a president ever to answer questions before a grand jury—another Clinton first...
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...The "Toilet Baby of Wuxiang" continues to gain strength, yet so far neither Mr...
...On January 9, a U. S. Appeals Court found that the President is not exempt from lawsuits unrelated to his actions in office, and thus Mrs...
...Hubbell's agent, the book is "a personal memoir...
...It is too early to say for sure what Hollywood star might be cast in the role of Toilet Baby, but surely one star with all the requisite talents and looks would be Madonna...
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...Narrowly eluding bankruptcy this month was the Duchess of York, Mrs...
...business group the rights to her children's cartoon character, "Budgie the Helicopter...
...Bob Flanagan, the poet and performance artist whose work in the bizarre and sadomasochistic often attempted to reveal the "cute" side of perversion, died at the age of 43...
...Among the conventional deaths of the month was retired Lieutenant General Daniel 0. Graham, one of the architects of President Ronald Reagan's Strategic Defense Initiative, and Mr...
...President Clinton's prowess at doubletalk moved to new heights, at times reaching tripletalk and even quadruple talk...
...It will be called Friends in High Places, though apparently it is not about drug use among the Clintons' Little Rock set...
...The federal government wasn't shut down long enough in January after negotiations between Capitol Hill and the White House repeatedly broke down...
...Clinton a "congenital liar...
Vol. 29 • March 1996 • No. 3
