The Continuing Crisis
• April has passed, but not the opportunity to do something unusual in this column. For years it has been based in part on the scraps of idiocy and grotesquerie sent to us by a reader of uncommon...
...It also passed $17.3 billion in budget cuts, though more can be done...
...This is a proven turnkey business an individual or couple can run...
...He is the perfect gentleman and patriot...
...Brian Slonaker, a 14-year-old tourist, upon seeing Mr...
...Then, too, there is the federally funded study of horse masturbation (apparently begun before anyone had ever heard of Dr...
...Mack lines up in the Grant and Will controversies...
...And by the end of the month things were picking up for ex-President Clinton...
...The great state of Illinois executed two murderers, Mr...
...At mid-month Rep...
...This he reports with a dignity that is wholly out of cadence with the cheapness of our time...
...I know that sounds self-serving, but I do...
...George F. Will and Miss Gina Grant...
...Will's columns, many faculty members feel, have been responsible for starvation in Africa, death squads in Central America, the melting of the polar cap, and the spread of some shocking misconceptions about the condom and its proper use...
...Timothy J. McVeigh—in jail on a gun violation, and two other suspects were jailed shortly thereafter, all from the outer fringes of right-wing anarchy...
...James Free, both of whom enjoyed a last meal of butterfly shrimp, though Mr...
...Clinton squalled on, associating the bombers as closely as possible with his political opponents and proving once again that there is no misfortune too shocking for him to exploit for his own selfish political purposes...
...The Oklahoma system of justice accounted for Mr...
...The problems of Former President Bill Clinton mount...
...Free—always the gourmand and never one to be intimidated by cholesterol—went on to consume hominy, French fries, strawberry cheesecake, and soda...
...Lorenzo Torrez, a local commissar, explains that Arizona's good fortune is part of a "membership explosion" across the country...
...At Harvard University, controversy has been ignited by Mr...
...In sports news, baseball players and team owners ended the longest work stoppage in professional sports history after 234 days...
...145 (in Indiana: 317-758-4415) Or Write: COMPUTER BUSINESS SERVICES, INC., CBSI PLAZA, STE...
...His health has been wretched, but what the hell!—he has gone on enjoying the blessings of God, family, and country, while elbowing misfortune aside...
...As the bodies were being disinterred from the rubble in Oklahoma City, Mr...
...All three of these brutes were dispatched with injections...
...And when CNN White House correspondent Mr...
...In Las Vegas, former heavyweight champion Mr...
...145, SHERIDAN, INDIANA 46069 The American Spectator June 1995 9...
...Sadly, he also reports that the cancer that he has been suffering is now terminal—a matter of weeks, a matter of months...
...Nathan Deal of Georgia quit the Democratic minority to give the Republicans one more vote in the House...
...Mike Tyson was released from an Indiana hoosegow after serving three years for directing unwanted attentions toward Miss Black America contestant Desiree Washington when she entered his hotel bedroom at 2 a.m., perhaps to peruse the Gideon Bible at his bedside...
...Clinton reminded Americans why he is no longer president...
...Political Correctness suffered a setback in California where the California Newspaper Publishers Association successfully challenged the totalitarian Department of Fair Employment and Housing language code...
...This month he has sent us a mother lode and a splendid new idea, to wit, reports on executed criminals who got what they deserve after a risible last meal...
...Clinton's political career might not be over yet...
...Finally, the Boston Globe reports that Harvard Medical School is investigating a tenured psychiatry professor, Dr...
...Miss Grant's hand was at the other end of the thing, and she kept bashing it on her mother's head after becoming alarmed that her mother was ruining her health with drink...
...Robert S. Walker, a Republican from Pennsylvania, called for an investigation into "recent drug use" by White House staff members...
...His answer was a knavish "Yes I do...
...If you already own a computer, you may receive a discount...
...If you purchase our software and business program, we will give you the computer and printer...
...Miss Grant had told officials at the prestigious university that her mother had expired five years earlier in an automobile accident...
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...Reuters reported—to no one's surprise—that a Romanian gypsy publication has established that Mr...
...Now it turns out that Mrs...
...8 The American Spectator June 1995 Wolf Blitzer asked the former president whether a book critical of American policy in Vietnam by Mr...
...John Mack...
...Clinton is descended from royalty, namely, the nineteenth-century "gypsie king" Charles Blyth...
...You do not need to own, or know how to run, a computer–we will provide free, home office training...
...George F. Will to teach in the fall...
...They were using solvent to freeze a gopher to death when one lunkhead lit a cigarette...
...Three janitors in Ceres, California, caused an explosion that injured nineteen people...
...Two days later, police discovered that they already had one suspect—Mr...
...Naturally Former President Bill Clinton was discomfited, calling it "a fantasy [that] we can't afford...
...In New Hampshire Mr...
...His last meal consisted of a cheeseburger, canned spaghetti, a strawberry milkshake, and pumpkin pie...
...Larry Holmes ended his comeback after losing a close but unanimous decision to Mr...
...Oliver McCall...
...Clinton in the flesh enthused, "He just seemed more smarter than you see him on TV...
...So we found a dust-laden bottle of Croft 1963, and this wholly fitting place to praise Jack Bums's manliness and charm while he can still hear us...
...The Citizens Commission on Human Rights points to such federally funded preposterosities as a study assessing the reasons that some transsexuals do not complete their sex change surgery...
...Moreover, from Tucson, Arizona, comes word that the rosters are loading up for the Communist Party of Arizona...
...Thomas Grasso...
...Hernando Williams and Mr...
...The doctors told me I can smoke my beloved Honduran and Nicaraguan cigars," he writes, "and drink my port wine as long as I can tolerate them...
...Clinton became Former President Clinton on April 18 at a stupefacient press conference during which he insisted that he remains "relevant...
...The Former President's response was characteristic: On Sunday April 23 he lashed out at "loud angry voices" sowing hate in America...
...To receive free cassettes and color literature, call toll-free: 1-800-343-8014, ext...
...He alluded to the Constitution...
...Michael Towne, a cook at Denny's, faced criminal charges for spiking the eggs of two Vermont state troopers with Tabasco sauce...
...There are sixty-five CP members in the Grand Canyon State, and, according to organizational secretary Joe Bernick, "In the last two weeks we've signed up twenty members...
...Miss Grant's early admission to the university was rescinded when university officials discovered that she had lied about her mother's death...
...He has written a book, Abduction, in which he argues that occasionally earthlings really are abducted to outer space...
...The House passed all but one item in the Contract, that being term limits...
...Financing available...
...The gopher survived...
...Jack Bums...
...The sky's the limit, and Mr...
...Grant died at the end of a crystal candlestick...
...On April 5, a week before the official terminus of their First Hundred Days, the House Republicans passed the "crown jewel" of their Contract with America, a $189-billion corporate and personal income tax cut...
...Robert S. McNamara "vindicated" him, Mr...
...Joycelyn Elders), a study of the sexual preferences of the prairie vole, a four-year study of the nasal cavities of male hamsters during intercourse, and a 17-year-old study of the slang resorted to by Puerto Ricans as they endure escalating stress in New York City...
...Finally, a bomb exploded on April 19 in front of the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, leaving at least 100 dead as we go to press...
...The papers will no longer be barred from using such terms as "master bedroom," "rare find," "desirable neighborhood," "family room," "quiet streets," and "female roommate wanted...
...For years it has been based in part on the scraps of idiocy and grotesquerie sent to us by a reader of uncommon wit, sagacity, and confidence, Mr...
...FREE cssi 486 Computer Begin part-time and still retain the security of your present position...
...Students and concerned faculty in substantial numbers have forsaken their Nintendo games and skateboards to demonstrate on Miss Grant's behalf.They are equally alarmed over the Harvard government department's decision to invite the conservative columnist and author Mr...
...RET Earn $4,000 Per Month From Your Home With A Computer...
...You can imagine where Dr...
...He had strangled an 87-year-old lady on Christmas Eve after inveigling her to her door with the promise of a Christmas present...
Vol. 28 • June 1995 • No. 6
