Current Wisdom

Jackasses, Assorted

CURRENT WISDOM 1,4ZP The Great Books Series The infantile mind of Anna Quindlen roams freely on the first page of the novel that drove her to quit her column and become the Jane Austen of Yuppie...

...On stage he was the firestorm...
...Don't they know that calling their stellar defense the "Border Patrol" is an insult to people who are striving to better themselves, Latinos specifically, and all pursuers of goodwill generally...
...Ladies' plumbing raised to the highest plateau of scholarship by the pioneering Doktor Professor McClintock, now of the University of Chicago: Why do women who spend a lot of time together seem to menstruate at the same time...
...Tom Phalen, celebrated musicologist and devotee of Seattle palm reader Rosie Rose, waxes poetic on the gifted Trent Reznor's recent concert to an audience of Future Farmers of America, trial-lawyersto-be, real-estate-salespersons-to-be, and other happy converts to the bourgeoisie: On his recordings Reznor is the eye of the hurricane, almost dispassionate in the dense maelstrom he almost solely creates...
...They had jogged into Sunderland and paused by the monumental sycamore tree?ne of New England's largest?hat grows near the center of town...
...McClintock, now a professor at the University of Chicago, 'still doesn't know exactly why cycles tend to synchronize...
...October 10, 1994] Independent Florida Alligator A concerned American writes to the student newspaper at the University of Florida after a harrowing experience with the cheerleaders at a UF volleyball game has driven her to despair and—not so bad this—to scholarly reflection into the onomastics of "KILL...
...McClintock collected menstrual records from 135 women, analyzed the data, and wrote a paper on the topic that was later published in the prestigious journal "Nature...
...She has proved that ovulating lab rats send out social signals and pheromones (airborne chemicals) that change the ovarian cycles of other rats...
...I am greatly bothered and offended that it seems necessary to include such a violent word at this sporting event...
...Is there in his or her response to the tree-kisser an analogue to homophobia...
...October 3, 1994] • Washington Post From Donna Shalala's "Top Ten Reasons Why We Should Keep Health Care Reform Alive," evidently compiled by the Government Accounting Office: In 1993, President Clinton and Congress enacted the most far-reaching deficit-reduction package in our nation's history...
...And if, with whatever difficulties and setbacks, American society is coming to realize that bisexuality and homosexuality are in and of themselves ashealthy as heterosexuality, why do we lag in recognizing the inherent healthiness of erotic, even sexual, connections with nonhuman nature...
...He stopped moving just long enough to strangle the microphone and purge himself...
...Barron, a Beverly Hills urologist, flies into San Francisco International Airport every week to spend one or two days enlarging penises in Santa Clara...
...Prison is where they hit the bars with metal spoons, plan insurrection in the yard, and take the smallest boy—the one in on a first offense—into the shower room, while the guards pretend not to look and leave him to find his own way out, blood trickling palely, crimson mixed with milky white, down the backs of his hairless thighs, the shadows at the backs of his eyes changed forever...
...Cool reasoning in a bed of lava...
...I am writing to express my concern over the repeated and vehement "KILL...
...Michael Perlman, sexual visionary: A friend who recently moved to South Deerfield told me that her roommate did something a little odd while they were jogging together...
...While that passion tended to the carnal and sometimes brutal, it didn't much matter...
...July/August 1994] Valley Optimist Magazine (Northampton, Massachusetts) New vistas in the sexual revolution as propounded by Mr...
...They were highly skeptical: "menstrual synchrony" was women's folklore, not science...
...Then the Chargers go 4-0 and in San Diego, at least, we have a little something to take our minds off the world's ills?omething to...
...Why are we so conflicted about?o broach a concept?ur natural ecosexuality...
...Unfortunately, I am all too aware of the violence occurring around the Gainesville area, and the memory of the student murders still haunts us all...
...Let's not even subliminally suggest to "KILL...
...August 24, 1994] San Diego Union-Tribune An exquisite conscience takes to the field for the betterment of humankind: A planet goes bonkers...
...Cubans risk their lives trying to reach our shores in rickety boats...
...I implore you to please take the violence out of this nonviolent, family-attended sport...
...It was a tribal event . [September 26, 1994] 92 The American Spectator December 1994 Sacramento Bee Campaigning against Oliver North, Senator Barbara Boxer reveals the tough times she has endured as an American, conscientious almost to the point of neurosis: "My lowest, darkest, bleakest day as an American was when I learned that a Marine colonel who swore to uphold the Constitution of the United States had sold arms to the most terrorist nation on Earth," California's Barbara Boxer said Thursday as she and three female Senate colleagues campaigned for Robb in Arlington...
...At 23 years old, McClintock had made a name for herself with "one of the first real examples of social interactions affecting basic biology," she says...
...Then the Chargers defense comes up with a nickname that involves the most hateful tag imaginable, considering the social issues facing us in this area of the world...
...from One True Thing by Anna Quindlen, Random House, 289 pages, $22] San Francisco Chronicle What happens when a Beverly Hills urologist flies into gaudy San Francisco, as reported in that city's incomparable Chronicle: The men with the surgically enlarged penises were to call after 8 p.m...
...Why is it forbidden to make love with trees...
...BarrOn's office referred me here...
...Uh, hello," an older male voice said, "Mickey at Dr...
...Are we (if I may coin a phrase) an ecophobic society...
...As a psychology major at Wellesley College in the late 1960s, Martha McClintock noticed this phenomenon in her dorm and mentioned it to some male colleagues during a summer job in a lab...
...Hatred spills into the streets of Haiti...
...But what it leads to is another, much larger realm of questions...
...Only the crew ran as fast as Reznor, struggling for close to two hours to clear the wreckage the singer left behind...
...But for all the morbidity, the Nail show had remarkable energy and passion...
...On an impulse, my friend's roommate embraced the tree and "gave it a big smackeroo...
...If you surmise that my question is a leading one, you're right on the money...
...October 10, 1994] The American Spectator December 1994 93...
...Because even rats need good child care: when rats ovulate together, they get pregnant together, then raise their young communally, turning out healthier pups...
...If they give birth out of synch, two thirds of the litter die...
...Why does your average passerby think it's weird to kiss trees...
...During the minimalist "Eraser" and longer more desperate "Hurt" a stage covering screen was dropped so that black-and-white film images of sand and sea, thundering clouds, the horror of nuclear annihilation, death camps, disease and time lapsed decay could be projected...
...could be substituted...
...or "SPIKE...
...At 8:30, the phone rang...
...shouted over the loudspeaker at UF volleyball games...
...October 10, 1994] Ms...
...When I say jail, I don't mean prison...
...Rodney S. Barron...
...Mickey is Mickey Mesa, the buff, blow-dried, flawlessly tanned salesman who screens patients for Dr...
...As a result, the federal budget deficit has declined in each of the last three years...
...I am wondering if it is, in fact, an authentic volleyball term used in the game or if it is just being said as an expression of enthusiasm...
...Bones spewed into the grasping audience as Reznor collapsed backwards in a heap...
...Beneath the stain of time," Reznor sang, "the feeling disappears, you are someone else, I am still right here...
...But her cutting-edge research is pushing toward the answer, mapping out a complex picture of the interrelation of hormones and behavior...
...So many times, we feel helpless and joyless in a world like this...
...Children starve in places like Rwanda...
...cheer, something to smile about...
...My young children, husband, and I frequently attend home matches and consider it an enjoyable and affordable way to support UF athletics and show our Gator spirit together as a family...
...September 27, 1994] Seattle Times Mr...
...That person cannot become a United States senator...
...Could it be that my roommate's friend's affection for the Sunderland sycamore represented a welling-up of the ecological (or, more precisely, aboreal) id...
...The undergrad proved them wrong?nd changed the field of biopsychology...
...Prison is the kind of place you see in old movies or public television documentaries, those enormous gray places with guard towers at each corner and curly strips of razor wire going round and round like a loop-the-loop atop the high fence...
...Or at least that's what I've always imagined prison was like...
...The film was horrible and fascinating, and because most was taken from ancient news footage, chillingly believable...
...There were little splintered trophies for the very few...
...Whatever the case, perhaps another word, such as "POINT...
...At the terrible and delirious climax of one song, Reznor caved in the keys of a synthesizer like be was kicking in a rib cage...
...Come on, keep it positive, Chargers...
...CURRENT WISDOM 1,4ZP The Great Books Series The infantile mind of Anna Quindlen roams freely on the first page of the novel that drove her to quit her column and become the Jane Austen of Yuppie lettres: Jail is not as bad as you might imagine...

Vol. 27 • December 1994 • No. 12


 
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