The Continuing Crisis
• October was a month pregnant with diplomatic news. In Ireland, Russian President Boris Yeltsin demonstrated his flair for foreign policy during a brief stopover at Shannon Airport by leaving the...
...Kinsley, in an October 19 letter (a copy of which has been acquired by The American Spectator), that "Higher ups in the White House have expressed interest in your services...
...In Trenton, New Jersey, Assemblyman Mr...
...Now opposition is forming, led by the Colorado intelligentsia...
...and 5 a.m...
...Bidets could be next...
...The San Francisco Chronicle is reporting the largest toy duck spill in history...
...President Bill Clinton visited the Mideast at the height of the campaign season and popped up in pictures with Jordan's King Hussein and Israel's Yitzhak Rabin, with Egypt's Hosni Mubarak and the PLO's Yasir Arafat, and with dozens of other Semitic notables...
...Kinsley to continue in his chair "on the left" at the CNN television program "Crossfire," even though as manicurist to the Clinton family there might be a perceived conflict of interests—not all that unusual an occurrence these days, but the kind of thing Marble Rodin has steered clear of through all its years of distinguished service...
...Kinsley in a September communiqu...
...Though if it is more repellent than the painting of the Spanish mountebank one has to wonder why Mr...
...Presumably, the critics will not make that mistake again...
...ET The American Spectator December 1994 9...
...The rituals incorporate candles, candleholders, a gong (do not ask...
...Now after noting Mr...
...Now all Ireland knows that this Russian is a hell of a man, and besides that he got some sleep...
...Michael Fay, the youthful graffitist who captured the imagination of the world when he was caned in Singapore, entered the Hazelden Clinic in Minnesota after he burned his hands and face during an otherwise conventional butane-sniffing...
...Simpson...
...Jeff Warsh introduced a bill that would require publicly funded buildings to provide two women's toilets to every one for the male of the species...
...Robert James Howard, an avowed Satanist, be allowed to perform satanic rituals...
...The American Spectator's national correspondent, Mr...
...Once you establish a client base, word of mouth on your pedicures, seaweed wraps, and precision electrolysis will make you a sought-after commodity...
...Less informed foreign policy observers thought it a shocking blunder—much the contrary...
...The spice, esteemed as indispensable to many Hungarian specialties, for instance goulash and meat loaf, had been taken off the market in September after at least 100 Hungarians fell ill upon consuming paprika that had been contaminated by criminals out to make a fast forint...
...His 23-page ruling was issued early in October...
...Benny spotted demonic sources immediately and urged Miss Obasi and her two moronic sisters to flee...
...Michael Kinsley, who continues to hold out against Marble Rodin's promise of a six-figure contract to begin his Washington, D.C...
...Throughout the month, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Lance A. Ito continued to search for proper ignoramuses to serve on the jury in the trial of Mr...
...The Rev...
...The mating season of thousands of live ducks could be destroyed by the plastic interlopers, and no amount of therapy will help...
...The prosecution continues...
...There two steely-eyed Middle Eastern potentates would be eyeing each other coolly, and right there with them—actually a head or so above them—would appear the smiling, nicely coiffed head of Our Bill...
...Julius Pascin, whose work is less well known and possibly even worse than Picasso's...
...Manzana has leaked word that he intends to "sweeten" his offer, perhaps by allowing Mr...
...They also removed two paintings by the American artist, Mr...
...Pascin is not equally famous in modern art—perhaps he has not been as zealous in championing the causes of the left-wing zany...
...The spill actually took place two years ago in the North Pacific, and it included not only 29,000 toy ducks but also other bathtub toys such as blue turtles, green frogs, and red beavers (for older bathers...
...Think about it: that's guaranteed income...
...Controversy continued to embroil the federal courts in Denver, Colorado, where U.S...
...he has left Her Majesty's service since his servicing) Hewitt's five-year relationship written by him and an associate, A Princess in Love, which was also published in October, betrays no hint of what terrorist acts the Princess might have committed or for whom she might have acted...
...District Judge Edward Nottingham has ruled that an inmate at the Federal Correctional Institution in Jefferson County, Colorado, Mr...
...Legayla Jones, an "onlooker," their efforts to push garlic into Miss Obasi's eyes and paper down her throat were almost to be expected...
...On October 7, President Bill Clinton signed a bill that will make it legal for American Indians to use peyote in their religious services, along with light wines and other ardent spirits...
...In Ireland, Russian President Boris Yeltsin demonstrated his flair for foreign policy during a brief stopover at Shannon Airport by leaving the fish Prime Minister, his wife, a regimental band, an honor guard, and numerous flower-bearing children standing next to his plane on the tarmac while he slept off a grand old toot...
...Yet the unflappable Mr...
...Unfortunately now the bathtub toys are showing up along a 500-mile shoreline from Cordova, Alaska, to Coronation Island in the Gulf of Alaska and giving environmentalists great cause for alarm...
...James Hewitt...
...Victor Gold, explains: "Bill Clinton is Zelig, the Woody Allen character who showed up in pictures with every notable from Woodrow Wilson to Charles Lindbergh to Albert Einstein—wherever there was a notable the face of this person showed up...
...The pictures were utterly eerie...
...career as "manicurist to the stars...
...That is how Mr...
...The pigeons are themselves among the world's rarest, and though they are deli8 The American Spectator December 1994 cious en croate it was quite beastly for the kestrel to eat the defenseless pigeon, feathers and all...
...A tactful book-length account of Mr...
...Professor Carl Raschke, who teaches religious studies at the University of Denver, believes one of Mr...
...Good taste prevailed in Zurich, Switzerland, when unidentified art critics broke into the gallery of Mr...
...Nor is there any suggestion of her international terrorism in Prince of Wales: An Intimate Portrait, an authorized biography of Prince Charles that appeared at the end of the month, though that book does make it clear that the Prince had some harrowing moments with the mysterious woman...
...Howard's rituals could be quite unwholesome...
...Manzana has reminded Mr...
...At this writing the name of the rental company remains hush-hush, but when Miss Obasi's sisters stopped in Dallas to pray for seven hours across the street from Mrs...
...Kinsley continues to hold out, and tense negotiations continue...
...Kinsley's demonstrated infatuation with the first family, Mr...
...There has been a truly horrible turn of events in famed Ile-aux-Aigrettes off the coast of tiny Mauritius...
...Miss Obasi, of Arcadia, California, was having problems and was directed to "Benny," a noted Arcadian "spiritual man...
...As the month aged, the judge displayed ever balmier behavior on the bench, particularly with regard to the presence of journalists in his courtroom, leading many to believe that Judge Ito is using the trial to secure for himself a place on the faculty of the Harvard Law School or as Our President's next appointment to the Supreme Court...
...In Dallas, Texas, it appears that the blinding of Miss Myra Obasi, the former second-grade school teacher, by her two sisters was not an act of mayhem but simply another act of diabolical infestation...
...I think what the judge did was reprehensible in this case...
...London's incomparable News of the World reported that back in 1988 racy films were made of Princess Diana conjugating with a Maj...
...Scientists?ver the optimists!?ave studied the route that wind and sea currents created for the toys and believe that the spill has been science's gain...
...Paprika is again on sale in Hungary...
...Pedro Manzana, the president of Marble Rodin, described the proffered position to Mr...
...Howard's diabolical services would ideally be performed between 2 a.m...
...A similar deadlock threatened the hockey season as negotiations languished between both sides, but there could be a breakthrough ahead in negotiations between Marble Rodin, the giant international manicurist agency, and erstwhile journalist Mr...
...a chalice, a short wooden staff, and a black robe not unlike that worn by the Judge himself...
...That is what she has told a jury...
...If you talk to Satanists," he argues, "which I have, rituals of destruction are intended to kill people...
...Two of the paintings had been stolen three years before, but for some unfathomable reason they were not promptly destroyed either by the thievesso-called—or by the police who recovered them...
...when most inmates are getting some shut-eye, though some watch the David Letterman show and have trouble sleeping...
...Max K. Bollag and removed seven disgusting paintings by the late Pablo Picasso, before any museum could purchase them and expose the public to their insane angles and awkward hues...
...Apparently the films were made covertly by Royal Marines surveillance expert Sergeant Glyn Jones, who if I have his account from the News right, filmed the illicit accouplement because his superiors believed that the Princess was engaged in acts of terrorism...
...What does it mean...
...The baseball season was officially called off after representatives for the players' union and the owners failed to come to terms...
...At month's end Mr...
...There, where wildlife advocates and environmentalists have lavished time and treasure to rescue from extinction one of the world's rarest falcons, the 'Mauritius kestrel, an as-yet- unidentified kestrel ate a Mauritius pink pigeon...
...They rented a car and drove to Marshall, Texas, before reporting to police that the rental car also had a curse on it and the radio did not work...
Vol. 27 • December 1994 • No. 12
