Current Wisdom

Jackasses, Assorted

New York Post A brief moral disquisition from Garry Wins, never an inmate of a Castro prison, a Castro torture chamber, a Castro Cuba—but wouldn't it be pleasing to send him there? ... It is...

...The problem is not a result of exposure to too much sunlight on long summer days, said Dr...
...Like him, most liberals are uncomfortable with the paraphernalia of patriotism...
...June 29, 1993] Chicago Tribune Mrs...
...To him, flag-waving is the first step toward membership in the John Birch Society...
...one just knew there would be further trouble...
...It is difficult to see any moral difference between hit teams sent out to dispatch Castro on the one side, and to dispatch Bush on the other...
...Michael Kinsley: It is most comforting to come home to Santa Barbara after three months in Europe, and a steady diet of derogatory reports about the new presidency in the International Herald Tribune, to find so many letters to the News-Press supportive of the president and chiding the doomsayers, the rats who think the ship is sinking, the fair-weather friends of Bill, and the rest of the defeatists...
...Joycelyn Elders, anointed by our Boy President to be surgeon general, have even been fetched by the noble swordsmen of the NBA: On a Saturday afternoon in January four Trail Blazers—rookies Dave Johnson, Tracy Murray and Reggie Smith and nine-year veteran Jerome Kersey—met three teenage girls at a shopping mall in Salt Lake City...
...He can't understand how a liberal can be so enthusiastic about her country and flag...
...Profits aside, who wouldn't drool to see such magnificent creatures, study them up close, gawk in amazement...
...I'm trying to sharpen the knife with David Baewald's no-hope album Triage (cover: gruesomely bloody hands with the flag behind them), but not even that seems to be helping (or hurting...
...That makes it hard for us to feel completely at ease when it's time to salute the flag...
...How all this will translate culturally—and specifically, musically—is up for grabs, but there is no question the Clinton presidency will translate...
...We chuckle knowingly when Roseanne Arnold screeches out the National Anthem, then grabs her crotch for an encore...
...The film leaves the impression that the monsters trashing the island would be containable with just a little better zoo keeping...
...The present ban was imposed in 1982 when DoD Secretary Caspar Weinberger issued an order that tightened policy first established in the 1940s...
...disaster may be no less likely, but it's no longer obvious...
...George Gaynes, what has just been to Europe for three whole months and come back sounding like the Rev...
...July 3, 1993] New York Times Dr...
...In their testimony, the girls said the players used condoms," he said...
...June 13, 1993] Santa Barbara News-Press The world perceived by a suspected survivor of Jim Jones's Jonestown, Mr...
...I think that Bill Clinton is an unfinished man...
...June 14, 1993] McLaughlin Group John McLaughlin tries to get off scot-free: A final note: On a recent program, the word "welshing" was used as a synonym for reneging...
...We liberals are an odd mixture of pessimism and optimism...
...Elizabeth Austin provides a rare glimpse into the inner sanctum of the Austin family where, as you can see, it is always think-think-think, talk-talktalk, and pass the Librium and carrot juice: At the fireworks this weekend, I'll be wearing a brand-new red, white and blue dress, bought especially for the occasion...
...A prophet in his own country always gets crucified...
...We regret any offense this usage may have given to the people of Welsh ancestry or to the people of Wales...
...Norman E. Rosenthal, man of science, proposes dramatic therapy for "summer blues": The blues are more commonplace in winter, and behaviorists have found that deprivation of sunlight in the winter months can cause a form of depression labeled season affective disorder...
...What happened on the 12th floor of the Salt Lake City Marriot that night became the subject of a police investigation...
...In Jurassic Park, an entrepreneur wants the dinosaurs for an open-air zoo on an island off Central America...
...June 13, 1993] Details The chaos that ensues when within the mind of a rock-'n'-roll analyst the metaphysical, the poetic, the prophetic all well up together, and after the poor slob has overindulged his coffeebreak: My capacity for outrage has been short-circuited...
...The prime minister of France, a conservative, faced with exactly the same economic situation and appointed by a conservative coalition of parties, is trying to enact the very same measures, give or take, that President Clinton is persuading Congress to adopt,, and getting exactly the same flack for it, mostly from his own side...
...And my heart soared...
...The "summer blues" cause sufferers to become lethargic and have difficulty functioning at work and home...
...All this patriotism makes my husband squirm visibly...
...So why not bring them.back if they tip into oblivion...
...Hokum...
...Known as the "drill master of the Revolution," von Steuben trained Washington's rag-tag Continental army during the winter at Valley Forge and turned it into a disciplined force...
...Although no charges were filed, the Trail Blazers fined Kersey and Smith $15,000 each and suspended Murray and Johnson for three games, costing them $46,500 and $38,300, respectively...
...But more recently a condition that is believed to be caused by prolonged exposure to high heat and humidity has been described by researchers at the clinical psychobiology branch of the National Institute of Mental Health...
...July 9, 1993] Naval Reserve Association News Arch-conservative Pat Schroeder, the hansdoodle of the House, tyrannizes the present with another of her obligatos from the hoary past: Dear Friend: Thank you for your thoughts on gays and lesbians in the military...
...As far as I'm concerned, what was good enough for George Washington is good enough for me...
...But Mr...
...But is anyone thinking of the welfare of the dinos...
...For most of our nation's history, sexual orientation was not only not a bar to military service, it wasn't even an issue...
...We have a hard time keeping a straight face when the high school band marches past, playing a barely recognizable Sousa march...
...I thought, Anna, the next time you convince yourself things haven't changed, remember this...
...Even the fiercest dino could be felled by some tiny virus for which it lacked natural defenses...
...And I—I—you know, maybe it's just my personal bias, but when you look at Brit Hume—one of George Bush's best friends, contributor to The American Spectator—you know, it—you just almost begin to wonder if at some point where Brit Hume—his, you know, humanity and personal agenda—maybe just it—edging in...
...You need to be smarter than that, being up until 3 or 4 in the morning before an important game...
...After all, the nations of the world are scrambling to preserve species before they become extinct...
...July 1993] New York Times On the editorial page of the venerable Times, proof again that there is no silliness too silly to elicit purple pontifications from a liberal with a word processor: The most interesting question is whether, if they could, scientists should resurrect a dinosaur...
...Military historian T. Harry Williams said that "thanks to [von Steuben], the American army took the field in 1778 prepared to fight...
...The forward-looking dogmata of Dr...
...1993] The Catherine Johns Program (WLS 94.7 FM, Chicago) Eric in Peoria calls Catherine Johns to do his uncanny impersonation of George Stephanopoulos: ERIC: I—I honestly think—you know, Brit Hume—it—it goes a little beyond just this specific question...
...When the orchestra at Grant Park plays "The Star-Spangled Banner," I will stand up and sing, with my right hand over my heart...
...And what about human welfare...
...Our times are less fixed than they were a year ago...
...July 18, 1993...
...It is true that the political establishment, mostly Republican of course, would bring on economic Armageddon rather than go along with a rational, revolutionary, and refreshing reversal of handling the important issues, which endangers the business as usual routine of the entrenched protectors of industrial power, the wealthy, and the not-so-rich with dim awareness...
...And tomorrow morning, over breakfast, I will read the Declaration of Independence out loud...
...Petrie said there was one encouraging sidelight to the incident...
...that the future, at least in the near term, is now unpredictable...
...Just as the winter malady can be cleared up with exposure to artificial sunlight, the summer blues can be chased away if individuals cool down by remaining in air-conditioned environments or spending summers in colder climates, he said...
...Norman E. Rosenthal, a researcher at the mental health institute, but probably has to do with irregularities in areas of the brain, most notably the hypothalamus, that help regulate body temperature...
...The fact is, tens of thousands of gays and lesbians, banned or not, have served our country with distinction and valor in every war from the American Revolution to Operation Desert Storm...
...They would be brought back to face an environment far different from the one they dominated for 160 million years—with different air, plants and animal life...
...I think Brit Hume has just become downright snotty and I think Bill Clinton—you know, the press has been giving him such a hard time, I don't blame him for stand—I think it'll do nothing but help him...
...With little to do until a Sunday afternoon, nationally televised game against the Utah Jazz, the players invited the girls to their team's hotel...
...I'm sorry for the form letter, but I'm swamped...
...At the stroke of midnight, the entire population will be masturbating to orgasm for world peace...
...Two hundred and twenty-five years later, some military leaders argue that gays are incompatible with military service...
...that the next few years will be full of surprises, some of them thrilling...
...One gay soldier, in particular, Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben, George Washington's inspector general and chief training officer, is perhaps worth mentioning...
...June 1993] Flyer In a flyer booming a forthcoming Montreal conference of the highest intellectual sonorities (titled "Yes to Self-Love" in the English version, or "Oui a la Masturbation" in the French), the disgusting contents of speaker Betty Dodson's disgusting thoughts are summoned from her diseased mind: "My futuristic fantasy for sexual liberation goes like this: It is New Year's Eve 1999...
...1993] Washington Post Glad tidings...
...Crichton's book had a darker ending...
...And when a cynical politician wraps himself in the flag, we blame the flag as much as the man...
...we focus on the hole instead of the doughnut, but only because we can envision a future of doughnuts that are completely hole-free, for everybody...
...A president who is compassionate, an intellectual, has public appeal, is attractive, fun, witty, plays music, and is, at the same time, a master politician is bound to rock the boat considerably in the fortress of custom, conservatism, and cupidity that is Washington, D.C...
...June 25, 1993] TCR (Times Company Report) Anna Quindlen, crusader from the powder room, drops her guard: About six months ago I looked at page one and saw that every story on it had been written by a woman, except for one story that had been written by an African-American man...
...They were disciplined for their involvement with underage women," said Petrie, the Trail Blazers' executive...
...When last heard from, the dinosaurs had escaped and were eating their way toward the rain forest...
...Part of this, of course, goes to the heart of what it means to be a liberal...

Vol. 26 • September 1993 • No. 9


 
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