100 Reasons Why Jimmy Carter Was a Better President Than Bill Clinton
O'Rourke, P J.
1. Jimmy Carter had a nicer wife, 2. A smarter baby brother, 3. A less frightening mom, 4. And a ... No, we can't bring ourselves to make fun of the first daughter, especially since some of us...
...donia is supposed to be called...
...Peace between Israel and Peace between the FBI and IRS Egypt 33...
...Carter committed adultery only in his heart...
...Carter saved America from a plague of Misha the Bear Olympic mascot toys...
...No, we can't bring ourselves to make fun of the first daughter, especially since some of us have been going through an awkward adolescent stage for nearly four decades...
...Annie Hall Anita Hill 85...
...Carter let the Soviets have Angola, Ethiopia, and South Yemen...
...Elvis dead Barbra Streisand all, too lively 34...
...Jimmy Carter didn't play any Fleetwood Mac songs on the campaign trail, 53...
...Ukraine...
...Moral equivalent of war Partnership role for the First Lady 72...
...They were on drugs during the Carter administration—they had an excuse...
...ENDANGERED SPECIES Carter Administration Clinton Administration The Snail Darter The DLC 60...
...Return of canal to Panama Return of Haitians to Haiti 23...
...Star Wars Base closings 84...
...And let us not forget that Jimmy Carter gave us one thing Bill Clinton can never possibly give us-Ronald Reagan...
...Navy football team can whip Oxford's...
...COMPARE AND CONTRAST: Carter Administration Clinton Administration 20...
...President successfully Hillary still heading health-care treated for hemorrhoids reform panel 26...
...Bail-out of Chrysler Corp...
...Does Nicaragua have Is it "Ukraine" or "The strategic importance...
...Grease Mousse 86...
...Carter hardly ever hugged or kissed anyone in public except Leonid Brezhnev...
...Pardoning draft dodgers Draft dodgers 21...
...Or any Judy Collins records at home, 54...
...Warren Christopher was young and full of pep during the Carter administration...
...Happy Days 1980-1992 81...
...Russians in Afghanistan Brit Hume in White House press corps 27...
...Has Bill Clinton helped the Shah of Iran get medical treatment...
...Three's Company Gennifer Flowers 80...
...The Goodbye Girl Kimba Wood 88...
...Carter did not use Bloomsbury, Mayfair, Pall Mall, Hackney, Notting Hill, Shoreditch, or any other London neighborhood as the name of his child...
...The Dukes of Hazzard Various half brothers 79...
...Carter passed out while jogging and the nation was safe for a moment...
...And, in retrospect, the Soviets deserved no better...
...It took Carter weeks to become a national laughingstock...
...Bert Lance could make a bigger splash doing a cannonball into the Camp David pool than Webb Hubbell...
...MAJOR FOREIGN POLICY QUESTIONS Carter Administration Clinton Administration 61...
...here in the USA...
...Say what you want against the man, he's no double-butt...
...And he opposed abortion (though maybe he hadn't met Donna yet...
...Laverne and Shirley Cokie Roberts and Anna Quindlen 78...
...Carter wasn't a throwback to the Carter Era...
...Diminished expectations David Gergen 74...
...It took Carter months to wreck the economy...
...Jogging actually worked for Carter...
...Is it time for America to Should Chelsea go to Japan relinquish its global with Bill and Hillary...
...No one can say a word against a Carter Supreme Court appointee...
...Proposition 13 (Write your own Clinton libido joke in the space provided 41...
...Jimmy Carter's nervous smirk was less demanding of a punch in the snoot, even if it did present a larger target...
...6. Carter had governed a more important state...
...Carter had enough clout to get Lani Guinier appointed to the Justice Department (and anyone who gets shot down for holding Menckenish views about the excesses of democracy has to be some kind of friend of ours even if she doesn't know it...
...He let us do that for him...
...Should we sell wheat to Let's just give them a bunch Russia...
...Carter's poll ratings were higher (in Iraq...
...Saturday Night Fever Saturday night working late at the OEOB 87...
...Zbigniew Brzezinski is worth more points in a Scrabble game than Anthony Lake...
...Wimping out in the face of Wimping out in the face of the second most powerful Slobodan Milosevic military force in the world 38...
...Hamilton Jordan could beat Mack McLarty at arm wrestling...
...Carter spent his time doing things like figuring out the White House tennis court playing schedule-the man knew his intellectual limitations...
...WKRP NPR 83...
...Carter walked the whole inaugural parade route...
...Carter looked—think back carefully, we promise we're telling the truth about this-less foolish in his jogging outfit...
...Hostage rescue attempt in Trying to get Zoe Baird confirmed Iran at Justice 31...
...The FBI didn't kill anybody at Jonestown...
...But we can say: "Damn it, Hillary, quit fussing with your hair and do something about Chelsea's...
...Admiral Hyman Rickover The Tidybowl man 37...
...Abbie Hoffman Socks the cat 92...
...SALT II U2 35...
...Should Red China have a Is Macedonia what Maceseat in the U.N...
...Smith ambassador to Ireland put the Kennedys in their place or what...
...Carter was a good man to have on board when your canoe was attacked by a swimming rabbit...
...Mount St...
...And, if we know anything about female tastes, Carter was telling the truth about that...
...Creation of Departments of Can't find enough gay disabled Energy and Education women of color to head the Departments he's got already 25...
...Women integrated into the Men dressed like women military integrated into the military 22...
...All‘the President's Men Home Alone II 91...
...Mork and Mindy Mary Matalin and James Carville 77...
...What type of relationship If those guys are so Jewish, with Israel best serves how come they aren't on America's interests...
...LANGUAGE WHICH THE PRESIDENT WOULD NOT SHUT UP IN Carter Clinton Spanish English 69...
...And Warren Christopher's initials look funnier on a brief case than Cyrus Vance's did...
...One thing about Carter-era inflation, the money may have been worthless but at least we had some...
...THE UNDEAD Carter Administration Clinton Administration Miss Lillian VAT 56...
...Helens Air Force General Harold Campbell 32...
...We were on drugs during the Carter administration—we had an excuse...
...National malaise More mayonnaise 73...
...Midnight Express Bus trips 89...
...Does Hillary know about this one...
...Is deployment of the neutron Does appointing Jean Kennedy bomb immoral...
...The Incredible Hulk and Marriage seems stable for the Wonder Woman moment, but super powers are fading 82...
...leadership role...
...Carter Clinton 70...
...Jobs in White House travel office for hick cousins from Arkansas 24...
...Martel Boatlift Which one is she...
...Would economic sanctions How about economic sancon South Africa be tions on white males right effective...
...Jody Powell with feet on George Stephanopoulos with feet desk not quite touching floor 28...
...As for military record, Carter was, comparatively speaking, a regular Audie Murphy...
...of money...
...Gas shortage Gassiest administration since who knows when 39...
...7. Carter had once held a job...
...Plus Jordan could get into Studio 54...
...COMPARE AND CONTRAST PART II Carter Administration Clinton Administration 76...
...8. He came from a more cosmopolitan hometown, 9. And had a more charismatic vice president...
...Or any saxophones anywhere...
...WORLD VIEW What Ideas Loomed Large Inside Their Respective Thick Skulls...
...5. And, speaking of coiffures, Jimmy Carter never in his life got a haircut that cost more than $2.50, if appearances are anything to go by...
...100...
...Carter did not, as part of focusing his agenda, address himself as "Stupid...
...Joseph Califano was prettier than Donna Shalala...
...the staff of Tikkun...
...La Cage Aux Folles The Marines 90...
...Human rights Partnership role for the First Lady 71...
...Carter wore real blue jeans and not the Levi's 550 roomy-in-thebuns kind...
...Kidding Mexicans about Kidding Mexicans about NAFTA Montezuma's revenge 29...
...Boycott of Moscow Not seeing much of the BloodOlympics worth-Thomasons lately 30...
...Three Mile Island Sam Nunn 36...
Vol. 26 • September 1993 • No. 9
