Clinton's America/All You Can Eat
Hume, Sandy
All You Can Eat by Sandy Hume Unlike recent Republican Presidents with their bland palates, Bill Clinton knows what he likes to eat, even if he only has fifteen minutes at his disposal. At the...
...That's a lot of sundae and shake possibilities...
...Bring some of that hesitant Pentagon brass over for serious lunch and recruiting for the New Clinton Military...
...You've probably heard of Red, Hot and Blue, Lee Atwater's old rib joint at 1600 Wilson Blvd., Arlington...
...On your birthday...
...5a) La Brasserie, 239 Massachusetts Ave., NE...
...The Camelot Nite Club, 1823 M. St., NW, offers the finest in exotic dancing...
...And they'll treat you just like an ordinary American...
...7) Hogs on the Hill, 732 Maryland Ave., NE...
...Wish I could give you its name but I can't—my girlfriend works there, and she's California blonde...
...Nearby is Dupont Circle, known to Washingtonians as the "Fruit Loop...
...They need someone on horns...
...As Betsey Wright might advise, better to buy Hillary a Whopper than tell her one...
...Don't worry—it's named after the Washington Redskins offensive line, not the porkers of Congress...
...It's close to the White House and open every night till two...
...2) McDonald's, 2705 Martin Luther King Ave., SE, a favorite hangout of...
...a milk shake, no...
...You'll like Angie's performance...
...Hold on to your quarter-pounder, Bill—you and Al are in this thing together...
...Visit the NOW gift shop on the ground floor and stock up on bumper-sticker mementoes for the many gals on your team: "Anita Told the Truth," "Honk If You're Codependent," and—sounds like Hillary—"God Is Coming and She's Pissed...
...Have a Vasectomy...
...4) McDonald's, 1916 M St., NW...
...Even in the absence of cheerleaders, Hogs will loosen your belt...
...Thirty-plus varieties of homemade ice cream...
...Look for the mascots—two little pigs playing guitars...
...Anyone running in this neck of the woods is invariably thought to be carrying someone's car stereo...
...5) Kennedy had his Camelot, and you can have yours...
...Fancy French food served by French waitresses, preferably in the privacy of the (Ted) Kennedy room...
...You'll be happy Hillary can't bake when you finish off your meal with a dozen chocolate Chip delights at Mrs...
...This is where the 'Skins devour their weekly team dinner, and the hickory barbecue menu will allow you to test your appetite against the city's real men...
...A fair shake, yes...
...You could honor her at the Kennedy Center...
...You'll find this elegant two-story BK two blocks away from the White House, possibly within jogging distance...
...But when you sink your teeth into one of Mother Nature's famed tofu veggie burgers, you'll probably want to send him back to Antarctica...
...There's even one for Governor Casey: "Against Abortion...
...3) McDonald's, 1401 K. St., NW...
...She's blonde and aging, a Marilyn Monroe for the nineties...
...Just don't jog to these Golden Arches...
...8) There's one other place you'll die for...
...It's located in Ward 8, which he represents on the City Council...
...one of your predecessors, Marion Barry...
...At the urging of many Americans concerned that we give the man a fair shake, we offer him this guide to a few Washington-area spots where he's certain to feel at home: (1) Burger King, 1606 K St., NW...
...worker, "he's getting the same greasy food that everyone else gets...
...Field's, a few blocks down at 1903 K St...
...Directly across the street are the offices of NOW, so it's a great spot to meet Hillary for lunch...
...President or no president," said one Sandy Hume is TAS's editorial intern...
...6) Mother Nature's Store, 1429 Center St., McLean, VA...
Vol. 26 • February 1993 • No. 2
