The Great American Saloon Series: Escapes From Clinton's America
"The Great American Saloon Series: Escapes From Clinton's America" One of history's commonplaces is that the progressive left exalts esoteric pleasures, like ferrets, Frisbee, and macrobiotic food, over basic ones like dogs, football, and booze. That makes us...
...Bud Williams, a Vietnam vet and stand-up guy, was on the front page of the South China Morning Post saying that the Clinton victory made him "ashamed" of being American, and although my own feelings about Bill and Hillary run more to embarrassment, my sympathy was entirely with Bud, for in these dark days our consolations are few...
...How about the Vienna Inn...
...On the wall hung a laminated news report of Indiana University coach Bobby Knight throwing a chair across the basketball floor, indicating a respect for spontaneity and determination...
...Which makes Maddie's political activism in the Reagan era all the more heroic...
...Don't be alarmed if you come to our town and notice that all the young men drink pink and yellow and lime-green juice drinks...
...For one, Ross Perot has said he plans to stay "involved...
...This is catch-and-release territory, but if the Clinton tax hikes and inflation get as bad as expected, the South Platte may be transformed into a food source...
...We ate our first meals at the Caf¨¦ Dalat on Wilson Boulevard...
...DAVE SHIFLETT Here in the nation's interior, the election of Bill Clinton has led to some grumbling among barroom regulars, many of whom see his excessive teetotaling as yet another character flaw...
...It's just that vodka is the thirst quencher of choice in towns where people drink on their way to work...
...Patrick has made the pub the unofficial drinking headquarters of the local pro-life movement and so deserves a medal...
...The assignment was to write about "a great watering hole of the Reagan years which is still great...
...The Carter presidency almost did: that soft voice, that Southern accent, those homilies about compassion and government programs...
...Baron Von Kannon is senior vice president of the Heritage Foundation, and Kapellmeister of The American Spectator...
...She'd been to Tokyo and Rome "on business" and knew a lot about the headquarters of the American Express Corporation in New York...
...I know of Pete's Tammany connection only through reading, but Tuesday's still has a picture of Al Smith on the wall...
...Will a Clinton presidency inspire thoughts of Parisian exile...
...And a few will think to crash Wall Street...
...That leaves drink, and Kipling...
...Several spots came to mind, but I now hesitate...
...Visitors to the restaurant soon discovered the pleasure of Patrick's high spirits, Gallic cynicism, and Balzacian prejudices...
...A large group of Italian men surrounded one woman and kept shouting at her that she was a "bella donna...
...now is their sere winter...
...What would Tocqueville have made of the tyranny of certain minorities...
...The suspicion today is that there won't be so much as a minnow left in the river by the fall of '94...
...All are priced for an after-tax Clinton income...
...All are excellent (always begin with an order of soft Vietnamese rolls, and there's plenty of "33" beer on hand), and the service¡ªif handled by the women¡ªnever fails to be congenial and unaffectedly polite...
...Patrick's Day parade because of City Hall's demand that the parade include gay and lesbian groups...
...Marina, his wife, was the genius in the kitchen...
...Both bars will gain added pertinence after Inauguration Day, because they were once hangouts for hangers-on of Tammany Hall...
...BARON VON !CANNON When Wlady asked me to contribute to this learned symposium, I was eager...
...But everything else remains the same: the French provincial fare is as perfectly prepared as ever, and the pleasure of the owners' company remains one of the last great reasons to be alive...
...Some say he's probably an ex-drunk...
...The bar was one of the friendliest in the area, since the place was dominated by drivers from the nearby Red Top taxi stand and soldiers from Fort Myer, who wore T-shirts embossed with a parachute and the motto, "Land softly, kill quietly...
...Expect us to march on Washington soon thereafter...
...Ronald E. Burr is publisher of The American Spectator...
...Should I reveal gathering spots of great conversation and ample drinks, where tongues will be loosened...
...Tammany's last wigwam, or headquarters, stands on Union Square Park, a block away, though it long since passed to other tenants (note the liberty cap on the pediment...
...I actually sat next to such Turks at the Old Ebbitt Grill bar, across from the Treasury building, where I regularly repair after a visit to my Washington bureau...
...Dave Shiflett is deputy editorial-page editor of the Rocky Mountain News in Denver, Colorado...
...Just the other day, the Ancient Order of Hibernians pulled its sponsorship of the local St...
...at the very least, it is odd having a dry in the White House...
...Where to go now, under the Clinton Regime...
...We are in for more of it...
...Or back to work, I should say...
...Wladyslaw Pleszczynski is managing editor of The American Spectator...
...TIM W. FERGUSON I don't hang out at the Mermaid by the Hermosa pier, because there's too much smoke and too many Harley bikers...
...JOE MYSAK I was never asked to join at the feast, but I will welcome the refugees from their bunkers in the White House and on the Hill to the place where I have enjoyed much good cheer during the past twelve years¡ªthe only real Wall Street Saloon, Harry's at Hanover Square...
...I am hoping the trade war with France continues well past January, culminating in a severe retaliatory action against Normandy's privileged inhabitants...
...Thanks to the exchange rate, he lived sumptuously in Paris for several years...
...The recent decision of the Anglican Synod to ordain women argues against religion, as does Notre Dame's loss to Stanford...
...A few will catch on at the think tanks, writing policy papers that nobody will read...
...The Keyhole is gone now, another victim of our enemy, the State, which revoked their liquor license because they didn't sell enough food...
...Some made it by connections, a few by talent, the heirs and heiresses bought their way in, and all now believe their sagacity essential to the affairs of state...
...china-rattling trains do, too, occasionally, adding local color...
...The highballs come with long droopy straws sticking out of them...
...No pictures of the Tweed courthouse, or the horse farm Richard Croker bought with his ill-gotten gains...
...For another, it serves sixteen-ounce "see-through" Bloody Marys, Cape Codders, and sea breezes...
...They went, were bitten by the Washington lust, fattened at the trough, and now find themselves bounced...
...Soon after, the Queen Bee opened a few doors down, and then the Nam Viet, which is around the corner on Hudson Street...
...Although politically ridiculous, he is a happy man...
...For one, it has the best clam chowder in New England¡ªbuttery and brothy, with a big pile of tender clams rearing up over the meniscus...
...These could be the final days in Moscow when things Western have cachet...
...First, it illustrates the tremendous waste of human capital...
...It's not just for breakfast anymore...
...Thanks for the honor, Wlady...
...She would occasionally visit the dining room, bringing with her that special charm that French women are said to bring with them wherever they go...
...While he is not pleased at the prospect of four years of Clinton, the election is not the main thing on Patrick's mind...
...Now these heroes enter the wilderness...
...It is, as Bob Tyrrell would say, on the American side of the Beltway...
...Harry's can heal...
...WILLIAM McGURN Although we in this last outpost of Empire no longer anxiously await the sighting of a mail ship on the horizon for news, it wasn't until the images of George Bush's concession speech flickered across the giant CNN screens in the Hong Kong Marriott that the inevitable sank in...
...Joe Mysak is editor and publisher of the Bond Buyer, and The American Spectator's chief saloon correspondent...
...When we moved the magazine from Bloomington to the Washington area during President Reagan's second term, we quickly established the Keyhole Inn as our new base...
...The bartender draws another round of large ones, as the answer to this will involve lengthy elucidations...
...Four senior Japanese executives gathered four Russian women at their table, and spent the evening giggling to each other like teenagers...
...Ozone...
...The decor is American yuppie, with a dance floor in the back where cou pies can do their little disco dithyrambs...
...Le Petit Caf¨¦ is still in business (308 W. Sixth Street), ready to receive refugees from Clinton's America...
...Embassy...
...Like everything else, the oldest profession is effectively legalized in Moscow...
...Occupation, this notwithstanding regular port calls by the 7th Fleet...
...Some are Elliott Abrams¨Cstyle anti-Communists, others Jack Kemp tax-cutters...
...The official excuse¡ªallergies¡ªis highly suspect, perhaps because Bill's tongue is known to be cleft from tip to boot...
...Others will try their hand at syndicated columns, which will dry up and blow away...
...The women at Night Flight are all beautiful and intelligent-looking, and all speak excellent English...
...But I'll decline...
...They will have a long time to learn...
...Their chili dogs are the best in the land, and it's full of hard-working and hard-drinking patrons...
...When I walked into the hard currency bar Night Flight and saw forty young women displaying their wares in miniskirts and push-up bras, I said to myself, "Oh, this must be the libertarian wing...
...David Boren, the likable Oklahoma Democrat, picking up a takeout dinner at Caf¨¦ Dalat, you're not likely to run into a Clintonite at these establishments, since none is known to be owned or operated by former members of the Vietcong...
...Fifth Avenue, in other words, will not resonate with marching bands on March 17 because Mayor Dinkins will never, ever do anything to offend gay pressure groups...
...One of the great ones along the Front Range of the Rockies is the Deckers Resort, where fly fishermen take a break from chasing rainbows in the South Platte River...
...Tuesday's gives you honest Tammany...
...Pete's has the added advantage of being the place where 0. Henry wrote "The Gift of the Magi...
...WLADYSLAW PLESZCZYNSKI On moving from Indiana to Inside the Beltway seven years ago, we settled in the Clarendon district of Arlington, more commonly called Little Saigon...
...A group of diehards from the pro-life movement¡ªwhat the Old Testament prophet meant by a remnant¡ªhas its eyes on the TV over the bar...
...I sat on the balcony for a better view of the playing field...
...it's just a question of which branch...
...Following a nineteenth-century pattern, he long ago colonized the auto repair shop next door and brought the refinements of French civilization to a culturally backward plot of land...
...I suppose going there constituted an "inner exile...
...It is the grease that keeps the gears moving...
...RONALD E. BURR The most important component in keeping The American Spectator solvent for twenty-five years has been the staff's heavy reliance on alcohol...
...Tuesday's is quieter, equally good for a burger or a beer...
...The next night I had dinner with a former Reaganite, Robert Kagan, who predicted that at some point Russians are going to rebel at the thought of their beautiful women selling themselves to Westerners...
...When it became clear that there'd be no sale from me, she made me buy her a drink anyway¡ªtequila and Sprite...
...And just as Hayek would have predicted, the free market has imposed its own quality controls...
...One of history's commonplaces is that the progressive left exalts esoteric pleasures, like ferrets, Frisbee, and macrobiotic food, over basic ones¡ªlike dogs, football, and booze...
...They are witnessing an odd but recurring phenomenon...
...As the men browse around the room, holding their drinks in front of them, it looks as if they're using these flaccid tubes of plastic as divining rods...
...The only disagreement amongst the customers was on whether our preemptive strike on the Soviet Union should be with nuclear or conventional weapons...
...Tim W. Ferguson, "Business World" columnist for the Wall Street Journal, lives in Hermosa Beach, California...
...Where will we go to escape Bill and the Rev...
...Female companionship, is out, too, at least for the moment, because though I have the most beautiful fianc¨¦e in all America she also ranks among the wisest in her refusal to cross the ocean until we have crossed the altar...
...After Pennsylvania falls to Clinton, Patrick, the bar's owner and a good conservative Irishman, turns down the volume so that everyone can properly concentrate on his brew...
...The country should be so lucky...
...Come January 20, they will all bid their wistful adieus...
...In short, the FCC makes a splendid vantage point from which to view the Clinton Administration, particularly in its avowed promises to bring us a kinder, gentler China and establish "fair" trade with Japan...
...GEORGE SIM JOHNSTON It is election night in the Fleet Street Pub on East 45th Street in Manhattan...
...If Clinton sends us into one¡ªa malaise, I mean¡ªthe cure may be, again, French food and wine...
...DAVID BROOKS In Moscow everybody is a Reaganite...
...I know...
...Perhaps...
...I told you these women had class...
...It was the eve of election day and they were sweating, their minds focused absolutely on the awful and ignominious hangman's noose that awaited them in the morning...
...Most will immediately seek the genteel welfare of foundation grants...
...He was sure Reagan would start a nuclear war, making New York the target of retaliatory missiles...
...The next day, the former president of the American Chamber of Commerce here, Mr...
...The chairs for which the restaurant is justly famous are as comfortably welcoming as they always were...
...For another, if word gets out of the location of sources of vast quantities of empty beer bottles, whiskey bottles, and even¡ªfitting relicts of the Decade of Greed¡ªPerrier and chardonnay bottles, can Al Gore's eco-police be far behind...
...Richard Brookhiser is a senior editor of National Review and author of The Way of the WASP...
...That makes us nervous...
...When the Soviets shot down KAL 007 in 1983, Maddie's boycotted Stolichnaya¡ªits most profitable prod-uct¡ªand did not begin selling it again until after the Berlin Wall fell...
...In Hong Kong the former means FCC, or Foreign Correspondents Club...
...In the late 1970s, in Bloomington, Indiana, when Carter was wallowing in "malaise," the Spectator crowd used to repair to Le Petit Caf¨¦, just off Bloomington's courthouse square...
...Around the base of the flagpole in the park runs a bas-relief contrasting the wretched victims of tyranny with the happy beneficiaries of freedom (i.e., rule by Tammany Hall...
...American voters are choosing off the wall a little-known Southern Democrat with wispy vocal chords...
...Also, Fat Face Fenner's Falloon, a few blocks down the beach drag...
...CHRISTOPHER CALDWELL Those who had the good fortune to grow up thirsty in Massachusetts will know of Maddie's Sail Loft in Marblehead...
...A few will go out and seek honest work...
...It was a good fifteen minutes before one of the young women sat down to tell me how handsome I was...
...Cheers...
...Bill Clinton had better hurry over...
...The word "malaise" is rarely heard at Le Petit Caf¨¦, and never mispronounced...
...RICHARD BROOKHISER The two bars I will visit most often during the Clinton years will be the same two I visited most often during the Carter-Reagan-Bush years, which are both around the corner from my Manhattan apartment: Pete's Tavern and Tuesday's...
...I have put down a few with these fellows...
...William McGurn is senior editor of the Far Eastern Economic Review...
...And here is where even a nice, stiff what's-good-for-you goes down better with a little Kipling on the side: George Sim Johnston is a writer living in New York City...
...The staff at this cozy canyon pub pours with a heavy hand and a light heart, yet fears are at floodstage¡ªand not only because fly-fishing in Arkansas got skunk-poor during Clinton's reign...
...All the establishments in the Crown Colony fulfill the first requirement of a Clinton-era saloon: they fall thousands of miles outside the Zone of And the end of the fight is a tombstone white With the name of the late deceased, And the epitaph drear: "A Fool lies here who tried to hustle the East...
...Railroad tracks still run by the huilding...
...I recommend Pete's to those who are hungry rather than thirsty: they've had a good chef for a few years, and the bar is a zoo...
...Erich Eichman is an assistant features editor at the Wall Street Journal...
...Patrick has expanded the restaurant...
...ERICH EICHMAN When Ronald Reagan was elected President twelve years ago, an acquaintance of mine, a filmmaker who had fled Nazi Europe in the 1930s, decided to leave New York, where he had lived for decades, and move to Paris...
...I daresay that some wit will soon hang a half-burnt draft card right next to the Reuters plaque from the old Saigon bureau and the sad, old photos of the evacuation of the U.S...
...But these are not normal times, and as soon as the traditional idiocies underlining Democratic foreign policy become manifest in Asia the general disposition against all things American might for once steer members closer to the shores of wisdom...
...The co-owner and presiding intelligence was Patrick Fiore, a Parisian who came to Bloomington in the early seventies to study music and never left...
...True enough, the FCC's clientele is almost entirely hacks, and in normal times this might cost it a star or two off the ratings...
...David Brooks is deputy editorial-page editor of the Wall Street Journal Europe...
...Christopher Caldwell is assistant managing editor of The American Spectator...
...To the places we know...
...With a Clinton administration looming, The American Spectator asked some of its more bibulous contributors to suggest great bars of Reagan's reign that might serve as a redoubt of reason in Clinton's...
...In a sea of university-town looniness, Le Petit Caf¨¦ was an island of sanity...
...She was usually there to retrieve Patrick, who would be standing at someone's table making one last point about the Ottoman Empire...
...By which time, of course, George Bush was in office and nobody could afford Stolichnaya anyway...
...Although I remember once seeing Sen...
...There is a certain satisfaction in contemplating a political debacle over a pint of John Courage, with its slight undertaste of lime...
...He now lives in Normandy...
...I will spring for a round for these orphans at my usual stand, the long mahogany bar at Harry's, but only one for these silky frauds and freeloaders, the vast majority of whom rarely pull out their purses to pay for the beer they wish to cry in, and whose idea of a bartender's tip is fifty cents...
...The nearby Poopdeck is more my style, with picture windows for observing the "bladers" rolling by...
...As for me, I will hoist one of Danny's delicious martinis, maybe two, and ponder the irony of fate and the rage of friends...
...These women should be selling real estate or running ad agencies...
...Night Flight provides a glimpse into Russia's woes...
...These past twelve years have seen me remain Mencken-pure, even as these refugees trooped off to Washington to various posts in the administration, neat writing gigs in the White House, state dinners, rides on Air Force One, and the rest of it...
Vol. 26 • January 1993 • No. 1
