Current Wisdom
Jackasses, Assorted
Newhall Signal & Saugus Enterprise (Saugus, California) Still more evidence for the end of history: Public Notice SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA FOR THE COUNTY OF LOS ANGELES . . ....
...Dina Emerson Brooklyn [November 26, 1991] 66 The American Spectator February 1992 Michigan Citizen (Benton Harbor, Michigan) An artful appraisal of the rise of three of the greatest black columnists in the history of the world: Some call these types Black Conservatives...
...In the case of dogs, the female often makes a horribly ugly noise, snarling at him, Gwangetouttahereyouretooblameduuuuuugly...
...In general, governments have spent their share of my money more wisely and with better results than I have spent my own funds, and one aspect of my life about which I am most ashamed is that I spent most of a decade living in three states that had no state income tax—Texas, Florida and Alaska—and the deficiencies that the first two suffered because of that lack were evident daily...
...In the 1970s, more of the heavy piercing was happening in the gay S&Mlleather crowd, but times have changed: witness the proliferation of homegirls and so-called "normal" people with pierced noses...
...November 24, 1991] Village Voice From the last outpost of totalitarianism, a brave American dissident dares to speak out: I agree that the marking and piercing of one's body is akin to a spiritual self-reclamation...
...And why is saving a human life so important...
...With a planet whose sustenance level becomes strained at 1 billion homo sapiens—we now have 6 billion and rising...
...Many writers suggest that we need new gods...
...I have seen dogs and horses pester mares and bitches unmercifully, but have never seen them have their feelings hurt when they were turned down...
...In reality she is an actress, a dancer, a national treasure, an astute businesswoman, a brilliant writer of New Age subjects presenting alternative realities to a confused world, and possibly the most accomplished woman of modern times...
...Simon and Schuster, 258 pages, $22.50] New York Times An inscrutable communiqué from Miss Roberta Smith, amok somewhere in greater Manhattan: Adam Rolston's plea for safe sex is an installation piece that effectively imitates a warehouse full of condoms...
...He leaves for a while, feeling sorry for himself, and then he thinks, "Time has passed...
...In order for a black man to succeed, or even survive, under the blatantly anti-minority and anti-civil rights administrations of Reagan and Bush he had to out-Klan the Klan...
...Maybe she's ready by now...
...HarperCollins, 293 pages, $22] Patriot News (Harrisburg, Pennsylvania) From Harrisburg, the familiar high intellection of a university professor: During his career Judge Thomas consistently displayed the "cooperative captive" syndrome, whereby a captive will emulate his captors to the extreme...
...We need more wild pigs, peregrine falcons, manatees, daddy long-legs, phainopepla and orb-weavers...
...Then you could have the baby in the winter or the spring...
...He speaks with the soft monotone of a theological seminarian...
...I have seen something like this: In the period when the female is becoming interesting to the male but is herself indifferent to the arrows of Eros, he makes a proper nuisance of himself, jumping about, pleading, poking, pawing at her, or dashing around splendidly with his hooves high, his nostrils flaring, and his voice reverberating, in the case of horses...
...The way I observe homo sapiens, perpetually molesting the Earth's crust, spreading toxicosis on the plants, birds, mammals, fish, wildflowers, trees, even each other, I perceive no value in human salvation...
...Why then do we grant ourselves the right to go out "in season" every year to slay wild pigs...
...His manner is puppyish, urgent: his eyes have an earnest glow...
...Scott Klynstra Clearlake Park [November 22, 1991] The Great Books Series The First Amendment taken to the outer limits of the tolerable by another arrested eight-year-old: I wish there was a rutting season...
...17) on a meeting of scientists to discuss disposal of nuclear weapons, prompts me to offer a suggestion I've been thinking about for some time...
...Ridding the planet of these weapons would be a priceless gift and a brilliant message to ourselves?the human race has overcome the arms race and has chosen life instead of destruction...
...I'm very attracted by what they look like, constantly...
...A quick review of the newspaper columns of any of the darlings of the rightwing such as Thomas Sowell, Walter Williams and Emmett Tyrrell will reveal not one word of criticism of the Reagan-Bush establishment...
...And he does not rape her...
...And she communicates a very precise language with her genitalia...
...Others call them BUPPIES, but a more appropriate term for them is "Sellouts...
...prisoners of war betraying their fellow prisoners and religious converts persecuting former co-religionists with zeal...
...October 27, 1991] The Great Books Series Finally someone has mustered the guts to speak the unspeakable, to write the unwritable, and to bring honor to Yale University—Miss Vicki Hearne of the Institution for Social and Policy Studies: And I have never seen a stallion or a dog commit rape...
...But here is what does not happen...
...Carol Delaney Stanford, California [December 30, 1991] Vanity Fair Erotica turned into mush by another new age goodie-goodie: Koons's current work was inspired by Ilona Staller's porno grap hia—both her photographic work and her performances in which she sings and dances naked...
...I like states like New York, Massachusetts and California, which do tax and spend their income wisely...
...This is done in order to survive...
...Scientists could handle the technical side, and the rest of us could plan a party on a scale never seen before...
...And the mare says, "Yuck...
...Let us mark the year 2000 with a worldwide celebration as we send all nuclear weapons to the sun, itself a nuclear entity...
...This writer is actually predicting that 500 years from now the world will be worshipping Shirley MacLaine...
...the space is stacked high with cardboard cartons all printed with the words "Trojan Condoms...
...less youknow-who...
...He doesn't start feeling guilty and unworthy so that when the glorious time of her readiness is at hand she has to hunt him up and explain things to him, soothe his ego and all...
...It's just a thought, but we have eight years to try and make it a reality...
...I could think better and concentrate better if there was a mating season, instead of this biological signal all the time to spread your seed...
...Ilona uses her body in the way another artist uses a paintbrush or a chisel," Koons told me...
...Newhall Signal & Saugus Enterprise (Saugus, California) Still more evidence for the end of history: Public Notice SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA FOR THE COUNTY OF LOS ANGELES . . . The application of Deborah Anne Ziegler for change of name(s) having been filed in Court, and it appearing from said application that Deborah Anne Ziegler has filed an application proposing that her name(s) be changed to Euphrasia Layette Alzena Gun Scientia Ventura Ikiru Alvera Ganbatte Gelasia Curvilinearjky [August 9, 1991] San Francisco Chronicle On the Howl Page of a great American gazette, Scott from Clearlake Park flourishes pretty letters and a level of ratiocination that should make him a shoo-in as next president of Stanford University: A wild pig does not wake up this morning with premeditated plans to kill a human...
...December 1991–January 1992] Anna Quindlen is on vacation...
...The gallery's carpet has been taken up to reveal a scruffy paint-stained floor...
...it can be tremendously empowering to take one's body back from the society that would claim even that...
...This is a burden...
...the lovable, kooky, softhearted, friendly girl-next-door...
...And through the mental process of nostalgia, the power of Shirley MacLaine does not diminish in time but in fact multiplies a thousandfold...
...The American Spectator February 1992 67...
...Everyone could get involved, from governments to schoolchildren...
...The term is most descriptive of those from this political camp...
...The world would probably work better...
...Just what do Ilona's genitalia say...
...You must embrace life...
...I often explain that my large snake-and-fire tattoo is not a sign of my affiliation with a biker gang, nor a sign of my sexual preference, but was carefully chosen for its mystical and mythological symbolism...
...This writer . . . suggests that if we need a goddess to worship Shirley MacLaine would be a perfect candidate...
...from That's How Men Are, by Mark Baker...
...I'm very attracted to women...
...Men would be less tormented, and so would women, if they weren't constantly being distracted by sex...
...The final twist is that Mr...
...Just what are we headed for...
...November 1991] Plain Press (Cleveland, Ohio) The periphrastic George Silis, of Cleveland's august Plain Press, offers yet more proof that even a moron can master the complexities of the word-processor: Shirley MacLaine, possibly the greatest actress of all time, has a dual nature...
...Marina, the interpreter, a fine-boned Venetian with an expression at once alert and baffled, gave a nervous giggle...
...while turning her hind end dangerously and rejectingly rather than invitingly in his direction...
...She uses her genitalia...
...Life can be really beautiful...
...The vocabulary tells you that you can find a lot of beauty in life...
...Let them guide the leaders of the superpowers in planning the ceremony...
...Rolston did not appropriate his brand-name cartons, as Warhol did, since his particular product travels, in bulk, in vacuum-sealed plastic (128 12-condom units per pack, to be exact...
...Examples abound: inmate guards in Nazi camps more cruel than their masters...
...Geir Magnusson Mechanicsburg [December 2, 1991] New York Times A late-twentieth century visionary envisages the greatest Fourth of July ever, and a swell way to smite Old Sol for all those infra-red rays and new dawns: "Nuclear Designers from East and West Plan Bomb Disposal" (Science Times, Dec...
...And there's no reason not to have confidence...
...He doesn't eat, is untrustworthy with the other males, and all the rest of it...
...Although it might make life less exciting, it would make life much easier...
...People would kill each other less...
...September 20, 1991] Parade From the distinguished James Michener, the case for slavery: The best money I have spent in my life was not that used to make me either happier or more comfortable, but the taxes I have paid to the various governments under which I have lived...
...It seems to me it would be less distracting to have all your sex in May and June...
...I call it a potlatch—a feast traditionally practiced by Indian groups of the Northwest Coast and Alaska, in which the chiefs of warring groups tried to outdo one another in disposing of their wealth...
...Forget it...
...Ten years ago, a pierced nose was a sure sign of a plunge off the deep end into either the hardcore underground or a religious cult...
...Instead, these cartons have been designed and fabricated by the artist from scratch and are on sale for $20 each in a strictly cash-and-carry arrangement...
...from Bandit: Dossier of a Dangerous Dog, by Vicki Hearne...
...And of the 6 billion, how many are additional earthly saboteurs...
...All of half a minute may have gone by, so she snarls and snaps again, and again he tumbles end over end...
...I am distracted by women all the time, on a moment to moment basis—women on the street, women sitting in a car, driving by in a car...
...Something of this magnitude would capture the imagination and just possibly might help to unite us in a peaceful world community...
...She punctuates these points with her fine, white, efficient teeth...
...But this is not only a suggestion...
Vol. 25 • February 1992 • No. 2
