The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS • May passes but not PC, that set of ideological mysteries that tyrannize some of America's best campuses, which is to say most expensive, not most intellectual. But The...
...RET THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JULY 1991 7...
...Many coeds have armed themselves with baseball bats and bottles, and doubtless some do not turn down the sheets without slipping condoms onto each toe...
...One of the country's most venerable anti-Communists, Mr...
...As she now puts it, "I looked up, and as soon as I looked up I simply lost my breath...
...Fish and Wildlife Service reported that over the winter there was a record loss of whooping cranes...
...Where is the Klan when it is needed...
...John R. Gargano, 67, of the Eternal Ruth Tabernacle in Central Islip, has been charged with sexually abusing four youths while posing as the angel Gabriel...
...Sperti established the Institutum Divi Thomae in 1935 as a graduate school dedicated to keeping pace with the Soviets in science...
...Even Miss Joyce Simpson, a 41-year-old fashion designer and body builder, was not immune to the Papist trickery...
...Men were banned from the premises, though the ban's enforcement was, shall we say, ticklish...
...I saw the crown of thorns...
...I saw the Michelangelo version of Christ...
...Strike the Gold won the Kentucky Derby...
...Michel Rocard as Frances prime minister...
...I saw the deep-set eyes...
...In still more news from the daft realms of higher education, Western Illinois University's $36,000-a-year associate professor of leisure is fighting for his job, that he might continue to illumine students with such spellbinding courses as "Philosophy of Leisure" and "Concepts of Leisure...
...After four days of tirades and workshops there were no reported casualties, though there were not a lot of laughs either...
...WIU's illustrious faculty committee (containing two professors who have read Moby Dick in its entirety, one who has taken two Berlitz courses in Mexican, another who can locate Paris, France, on a map, even after three glasses of yin ordinaire, and the university's Nintendo champion) voted 3-2 to fire Mr...
...The Kennedy regime has agreed to repayment and on May 10, in a move that has fooled no one, fired Mr...
...But Mr...
...Webster...
...In scenic Riverhead, New York, the Rev...
...Smith is the nephew of Sen...
...William Webster retired as director of the Central Intelligence Agency, and on May 14 President Bush nominated Robert Gates, his deputy national security adviser, to replace Mr...
...Pope John Paul II delivered up an encyclical so favorable to the free market as to suggest that he who believes in the Blessed Trinity now believes in the Invisible Hand...
...Harker, a self-professed opponent of the "work ethic" who believes he is being victimized by the McCarthyism of "workaholics," has vowed to defend himself at a June 20 Board of Governors meeting—assuming that the meeting does not begin too early or collide with Mr...
...On May 11, sportsman Mr...
...Still, things are tense...
...Stay on the alert, and call us if you are abused for your ideas or normal bodily functions...
...Government auditors have charged that Stanford has bilked the government of hundreds of millions of dollars, and are demanding restitution...
...At Stanford University, neither President Donald Kennedy nor any of his henchmen has been indicted or fled the country, but the Feds are moving in...
...William Kennedy Smith surrendered to West Palm Beach police, who charged him with committing battery and rape during a nocturnal hunt last Good Friday...
...In Los Angeles, California, Mr...
...Thousands of the citizens of Atlanta, Georgia, have been duped into believing that within the lush sauce and randomly configured noodles of a billboard depicting a forkful of spaghetti they see a vision of Jesus Christ...
...I saw the nose, the mustache [the mustache...
...Cresson has known President Mitterrand since the 1960s, but has absolutely never served as his mistress, contrary to the convictions of the vast majority of French women...
...At the behest of the Roman Catholic Archbishop of Cincinnati, Mr...
...Whilst passing one billboard, she believes that she heard the Holy Spirit say "Look up...
...Dibble hit a 27-year-old elementary school teacher on the elbow...
...Scapegoating will get you nowhere, Generalissimo Kennedy...
...Lesbians, at least, have a future...
...Edward M. Kennedy, who allegedly helped equip his nephew for the expedition over several rounds of strong drink at a nearby nightclub...
...Jong Soo Yoo, 43, another Korean businessman who is also an excellent shot...
...but one can never rule out that they might be another attempt by the Vatican to hornswoggle Atlantans into the Roman Church, and apparently they are having a powerful effect on the unwary...
...Harker's ample luncheon hour...
...The Dutch national team won this year's Blackawaton International Worm Charming Championships in London, England, after three teams were cited for illegally molesting their worms...
...George Speri Sperti, died at the age of 91...
...George Harker, 47, because of alleged indolence, dereliction of duty, and an immoderate interest in nude beaches...
...Stuart Reges, the computer lecturer who boasted to federal officials of his use of illegal drugs...
...Some experts attribute the loss to increased stress in the bird's Texas wintering 6 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JULY 1991 grounds, others to an excellent new recipe for whooping crane gumbo...
...There are thirty-five such billboards supposedly paid for by a restaurant chain specializing in Italian foods...
...The Preakness went to Hansel...
...In Albany, New York, a state senator is seeking to proscribe non-alcoholic beer out of fear that it prepares the young to drink the real stuff...
...In Boys Town, Nebraska, Miss Sarah Williamson, 16, became the first girl ever elected mayor...
...In San Bernardino, California, Mr...
...Sperti invented Preparation H, one more of the many benefits of the Cold War...
...In Atlanta, Georgia, 3,000 lesbians herded together for the first National Lesbian Conference, the largest concentration of such fantasticos since the last Democratic National Convention...
...Sandy Koufax...
...But The American Spectator's public-spirited project, Amnesty in Academia, continues to gather incriminating evidence of human rights violations committed against red-blooded American students and that noble remnant among the professoriate still capable of delighting in the play of the mind and the acquisition of knowledge...
...Many of the nulliparous gals could have passed for Chicago Bears, and the great hall in which they met soon reeked with locker room pungencies as the gals swayed and sweated to the rhythmic bellowings of their leather-lunged haranguers...
...Food, too, was barred, out of concern for the conflict that might ensue among animal-rights advocates, vegetarians, fruitarians, meat eaters, and cannibals...
...The senator is a Republican...
...Nolan Ryan, 44, pitched his seventh no-hitter, three more than the next most prolific producer of no-hitters, Mr...
...Daniel Ramos, 18, the graffitist who was convicted last winter for scrawling "Chaka" as many as 10,000 times throughout California, was released from the hoosegow only to be picked up minutes later on suspicion of scrawling his interesting word in an elevator as he vacated the courthouse...
...Ronnie Newt, the lead singer of the rap group Newtrons, was fatally shot while trying to knock off a store owned by Mr...
...I saw the total vision of Christ...
...The Cincinnati Reds' Mr...
...Ron Dibble was suspended for four games for throwing a baseball into the center-field stands during a bout of free-floating anxiety...
...There Mr...
...Mr...
...Perfumes and even deodorants had been proscribed, lest their sweet odors make participants illsome are quite active in the anti-environmental scents movement...
...Edith Cresson, to replace Mr...
...The U.S...
...At San Francisco State University, a spokeswoman admitted that officials remain "extremely concerned" about the furtive presence on campus of an unidentified "toe-licker," who on several occasions last fall and this spring has secreted himself in dormitories and licked the toes of sleeping coeds...
...Their calls are pouring into our 800 number (1-800-783-6707) for the victimized, as we prepare our special back-to-school issue for later this year and line up human rights lawyers and negotiators to ensure the blessings of liberty on campus...
...All in all, it was a grim affair, though not as grim as the month's May Day celebrations in Moscow...
...On May 15 President Francois Mitterrand named a cute little number, Mrs...
Vol. 24 • July 1991 • No. 7
