The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS • The first year of the 1990s ended eerily, but not the five great stories that ran through it: (1) gathering storm clouds in the Persian Gulf, (2) gathering recession, (3)...
...Expect some laughter and joking and be ready to join in...
...Panic broke out at the State University of New York at Binghamton when a bogus edition of the student newspaper published a front-page report that the United States had invaded Iraq...
...Supposedly, the Office of Naval Research sent its men into action to investigate allegations that the Kennedy regime has improperly charged the government for such things as a cedar-lined closet, flowers for President Kennedy's personal use, and depreciation on the university's 72-foot yacht—an educational instrument equipped with a Jacuzzi and television equipment capable of playing Nintendo games, one of the dictator's passions...
...In Beverly Hills, California, the local American Jewish Congress and the American Civil Liberties Union conspired to bar a 28-foot Hanukkah menorah from a municipal park...
...Described by authorities as the nation's most prolific graffitist, Mr...
...Ortega, looking glassy-eyed, announced that, after conferring with president Saddam Hussein, King Hussein (no relation), Colonel Muammar Qaddafi, and Mr...
...As for Mr...
...President DeFleur went ahead with her afternoon pedicure, but apparently was too upset to have her legs waxed...
...Matthew M. Furman, managing editor of the campus's authorized newspaper, announced plans to sue the student group that had perpetrated the hoax, Looking Left, which opposes all use of force in the world...
...And, at Brown University, efforts continue to keep the walls of the ladies' room at the university library free of the names of leading campus rapists...
...Ramos spent at least two years traveling the state by public transport, diligently spraying his favorite word with uncommon inventiveness, from "simple scrolls on utility poles and backs of stop signs," in the words of Mr...
...In Midwest City, Oklahoma, Mr...
...I state it with complete responsibility...
...Ortega is ready to lead "the peace process" in the Middle East...
...According to the New York Times, "After a cross of talcum powder was made outside the room where neo-pagans were celebrating the Celtic New Year on October 31, President Mary Patterson McPherson and two other campus officials sent a letter to all students condemning the harassment...
...In other news from academe, Duke University's English Department is considering offering courses in dog walking, nose blowing, and nude cooking...
...Yasir Arafat, Mr...
...Daniel Ramos, 18, languishes in a Los Angeles jail after being charged with spray-painting the word "Chaim" on 10,000 water towers, railroad cars, and freeways from Los Angeles to San Francisco...
...The Democrats' spirits remained ebullient, as the government's main set of economic indicators dropped 1.2 percent in November, the fifth straight monthly decline...
...In Bonn, Mr...
...Dictatorship is coming," president Mikhail Gorbachev's erstwhile colleague intoned...
...Scott Nelson has been charged with assaulting his wife Jackie with a frozen turkey—the bird was not injured, nor even eaten...
...In Monterey, the ACLU's target was a Nativity scene...
...Reagan's refusal to accept responsibility for his own failures...
...Carter's explanation of his own incomparable performance, the Wonder Boy pronounces: "I was treated more negatively by the press than any other president in this century—that includes Nixon . . . " • Finally, there is no truth to reports that Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell was apprehended at Washington's Jockey Club whilst relieving himself in a men's room sink—at least there is not much...
...It was the Bush Administration's largest military deployment in this hemisphere i since it undertook to dislodge another well-known dictator, General Manuel Antonio Noriega...
...Okay, okay, so some of these campus reports are total fabrications, but academe has become a pretty goof-ball world, so you can judge for yourself which of the above items took place and which resulted from a solo confrontation with a gin bottle...
...On December 5, the peerless New York Post published sections from a sex-education curriculum being proposed to New York City's Board of Education, which is planning a course on the proper use of condoms by aroused teenagers...
...Brandt's telephone number is unlisted...
...President Kennedy could not be reached for comment, but Mr...
...This is not a class about AIDS the disease and its ravages...
...It was but one of thousands of unhappy events related to the unpleasant end-of-the-year celebrations that are still observed in the Republic despite past experience...
...WHAT YOU WILL NEED: Magic Markers, bananas (or cucumbers or zucchini)—one for each student, latex condoms—two for each student, tubes of water-soluble lubricant . . . " Enough...
...The alleged rapists have protested that publicizing their names in this way has caused them embarrassment and made it difficult to obtain university-supplied condoms in their preferred colors...
...No one knows what kind this dictatorship will be . . . " And back in the United States the American intelligentsia continued to be absorbed with poofter politics, feminist fevers, and how best to resurrect the Feeling of Woodstock, circa 1969...
...The pathetic decline of former presidents Daniel Ortega and Jimmy Carter continues...
...President Patterson McPherson canceled her daily aerobics class and spent several hours getting the letter just right...
...Norman Hanson, a spokesman for the Navy, reports that the investigation "is not at all common and has never been done in the four or five years that I am aware of...
...Psychological counseling has been made available to disturbed members of the student body and faculty, and Mr...
...Once the hoax was exposed, the school's president, Miss Lois B. De-Fleur, canceled her morning appointment at the university beauty parlor to announce that "while we are strongly in support of freedom of expression, we do not condone this attempt to manipulate the power of the media...
...Mike Qualls of the Los Angeles city attorney's office, "to multicolor, huge Chakas that took hours to put on the freeway retaining walls and bridges...
...He was seeking the assistance of Mr...
...How different is the Humane Society's understanding of simple human sexuality from the enlightenment that radiates from Cambridge, Massachusetts, where on December 17, Clifford's Green Street Grill became this great city's first eatery to comply with an ordinance enjoining all hotels, motels, restaurants, and bars to install condom-vending machines by 8 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR FEBRUARY 1991 December 31, 1991...
...Donald Kennedy, worsened when, in response to charges that his clique had overcharged the federal government by as much as $200 million for administering government contracts, Washington sent a team of Navy contract experts to campus for what the San Francisco Chronicle described as "tough talks...
...Petersburg Times, the anile Jimmy Carter, in an interview soon to be seen on public television, "does not try to conceal his loathing for Mr...
...Willy Brandt, but Mr...
...Perhaps you have seen one...
...In San Mateo County, California, members of the Peninsula Humane Society, obnubilating all the salutary intelligence that our leaders have passed on to us about condoms, have begun a campaign to make it illegal for dogs and cats to copulate even in the privacy of their own homes...
...And, according to the St...
...RET THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR FEBRUARY 1991 9...
...Yet, as of this hour, not a peep has been heard in defense of him from the Republic's arts community, not even from Mr...
...Reagan's policies on civil rights at home and human rights abroad, his military adventures and foreign policy and what he charges is Mr...
...The controversy continues...
...John Frohnmayer, chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts...
...Then she canceled her afternoon shopping appointment to "monitor the situation" and ensure that no rough stuff ensued when neo-pagans from the faculty and student body gathered to howl at the moon...
...At Bryn Mawr College, neo-paganism is winning adherents while eliciting scabrous responses from an unusual alliance of adherents to traditional Western religions and to atheism...
...THE CONTINUING CRISIS • The first year of the 1990s ended eerily, but not the five great stories that ran through it: (1) gathering storm clouds in the Persian Gulf, (2) gathering recession, (3) growing European unity, (4) the rebirth of the nations of Eastern Europe, and (5) a trend in Moscow best described by Soviet foreign minister Eduard Shevardnadze in his unanticipated December 20 resignation...
...We quote from the aforementioned curriculum: "TEACHING SRATEGIES: It is important that these lessons be presented in a nonthreatening, fun manner...
...Starting last year," the Times reports, "students and occasionally professors have congregated at the 'moon bench' on the green in the center of the campus and released angst-ridden shrieks that echo throughout Bryn Mawr," making it hard for other students to concentrate on their Nintendo games...
...The problems of Stanford University's embattled president, Mr...
...It's about sex in the age of AIDS and how it can still be fun and responsible, safe and erotic...
Vol. 24 • February 1991 • No. 2
