So You Want to Go to College' ?
SO YOU WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE? Here's some advice from leading educators on how to survive on a modern campus without rotting your brains and bankrupting your parents. needs the energy to track...
...HERBERT LONDON The best advice I can provide any student is to be armed with a healthy dose of skepticism...
...There is always a next semester, and a next year...
...Or try working for a living...
...It is through direct access to these works that you will learn the values and truths that transcend time and circumstance...
...Multi-storied student unions...
...Fulfill your wants...
...Therefore it is to your advantage surprises...
...In vacations, travel as widely as possible, especially in Europe and Asia...
...The lack of rigorous and coherent requirements on most of today's campuses, however, makes this largely a do-it-yourself proposition...
...They baby sit, but vigorous exploitation of education in which they will be taught store substance to the curriculum, but are also most apt to possess some useful knowledge...
...Is that claim subject to proof...
...It is superior to all other cultures in terms of human dignity, freedom, free inquiry, and what is still called progress, notwithstanding certain ghastly conditions that have attended progress in this century...
...R. Emmett TYrrell, Jr is editor-in-chief of The American Spectator...
...smarter than you are...
...Keep in mind: the "harder" courses usually mean less ideological blarney...
...First-rate friends will be terribly important if one is to survive four years of college...
...It will help you remember what language is capable of when not debased...
...4) Be interested in other people's lives...
...Michigan, by the ble time machine, the following may for the effects of inflation) between the four-year possibility that you can know way, has no required courses in real serve: tuition paid at your institution then and how to learn rather than dream, to see subjects—not in literature, history, (1) Having chosen a school, procure now...
...Back in the 1970s the average student spent almost a decade acquiring a degree and his eventual emergence into adult society could be quite traumatic...
...Left-wing ideas are attractive to the student mind, but do not forget Tiananmen Square and the sufferings of students in every place where Marxism has ruled since 1917...
...LYNNE V CHENEY As an undergraduate, you have the unique opportunity to build a base of knowledge that can serve you through a lifetime of learning...
...Assiduous reading of the great books of the West will also encourage the development of a discriminating mind—which, along with learning, is the main goal of education, properly understood...
...3) Learn to act acceptably and politely in social situations...
...The shock should either drive you rather than believe, to understand rathmathematics, the sciences, languages...
...2) Take courses in established disciplines, starting with scientific method, formal logic, and computer uses...
...That will be more important than grandiose rating games...
...Even if your major field is science, acquire as much knowledge of history as you can, for this will help you to see the world as a less strange place...
...If they enroll at my univer- Higher education has come a long way to learn, instead of simply completing to find out what is worth taking on and sity, for example, they will be required in the last twenty-five years, mostly what has lately become the standard ter- taking in...
...Articulate your goals...
...So perhaps the most enlightening text for the new student is his institution's budget—if he can find a copy...
...Subjects which promise to be relevant to current problems are usually the least relevant...
...Given the fragprivate, which means they have been ex- (3) Hang out with at least a few of mentation and chaos of most universiposed to the political correctness now the school's non-traditional students ties, what you face is the equivalent of rampant in those settings, which in turn (e.g., older folks returning to fill out un- a cafeteria, strewn with many clumps STEPHEN H. BALCH means they are further immunized...
...James David Barber is James B. Duke professor of political science at Duke University...
...offered...
...You "haunted air," in Lionel Trilling's ance, you have nothing to lose and every- Stephen IL Balch is president and ex- are at a university, not a diversity...
...Take a leave of absence...
...Ab- spoken English...
...Pay careful attention to departments and specific scholars...
...When looking for these courses, scrutinize reading lists and syllabi...
...Maurice Cranston is professor of political science at the London School of Economics...
...Better hide it from your roommates unless you are sure they can be trusted...
...Academics filled with the ardor of contemporary orthodoxies balkanize the study of any discipline by reducing it to class, sex, race, and ethnicity...
...8) Learn to play bridge...
...If everyone nods affirmatively, does that mean truth is revealed...
...To arrive at middle age with only the pop culture of ones youth reverberating in one's coco is as maddening as it is pathetic...
...when in doubt, hang out in the library, 18 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR NOVEMBER 1991 not in the local bar...
...The most important thing a professor can offer an undergraduate is time and attention...
...If the school is not what it is cracked up to be, feel free to move along elsewhere...
...Higher education is, after all, a vast American industry, and an undergraduate curious to know what gets done with his tuition and taxes can do no better than take the advice that Watergate's Deep Throat once gave to Bob Woodward: "Follow the money...
...Accept no comment, however artfully framed, on face value...
...If you are unhappy with school, quit...
...you what a wicked nation America has been sent "Doc Brown" and a readily availa- (4) Calculate the difference (adjusting need to take tough advantage of that throughout its history...
...I advise taking over a library or a gymnasium, and if the student attends Indiana University (as I did) I suggest he take over Jordan Hall, or whatever building now houses the Kinsey Institute for Sex Research—the research material is always a good read...
...My first piece of advice is to stay landlocked, at the University of Chicago or some other obscure campus relatively forgotten by arbiters of current sociointellectual fashions...
...Once in the building, issue a declaration of solidarity or of non-negotiable demands that demonstrates a knowledge of and respect for Mao Tse-tung, John Lennon, one of the Castros, and perhaps a leader of the Medellin cartel...
...Good luck...
...BENJAMIN I STEIN Here is what a student should do to make the most of his or her college years: (1) Learn to work hard and that it's more painful to be lazy than to be industrious...
...Remember, fifty percent of your high school cohort have made a non-college decision...
...As Yale's blessed Dean Kagan thing to gain by moving in an orderly ecutive director of the National Associa- out to all the others, who are meant to has pointed out, everyone—almost eve- way through the foundation courses in tion of Scholars, with headquarters in be your community of scholars...
...5) Do not get caught up in reputational rubbish dished out by universities (usually to anxious, well-intentioned parents...
...The idea is to get "good" secondary schools, public or among other books...
...Bloated bureaucracies...
...Is there, in fact, anything at all that can be said about human beings who face the inevitable derision of death, yet seek to find some meaningful way of leaving their mark on civilization...
...You should go to the school of your choice, take the teachers of your choice, in the department of your choice...
...You will, most likely, have to search out those broad-based courses in the humanities and the social and natural sciences that should be at least at the heart of your education...
...Far more than aver- of intellectual foods you have not yet so, they may be in for some unpleasant age, they are there out of genuine desire tasted...
...4) Try to find professors lacking in compassion who have a reputation for being demanding and who have a sense of humor—even occasionally at their students' expense...
...Talk to upperclassmen and other students to find out which professors make teaching a priority...
...it is orous set of requirements for attaining a your studies with a seriousness commen- ganda...
...3) Think of a college or university career as a block of eight to twelve semesters, as well as thirty to forty courses...
...Even completed degrees...
...Even as we focus on how debased curricula are turning some of our better colleges into new versions of the old-line Soviet "re-education camp," there's still the more mundane question of cash flow...
...Search for the telltale signs: Is that comment supported by evidence...
...In the world of relativists, only authoritarians know the truth...
...6) Find a girlfriend or boyfriend who loves you for the best parts of you and then treat that person like gold...
...Then the student can get on with a proper education...
...The greatest service a teacher can perform for students is to introduce them to the great works of the ages...
...Since the current edition curate to their cost...
...Benjamin J Stein is a writer and actor living in Malibu, California...
...needs the energy to track down con- and foreign languages prescribed in the genial peers and teachers, and to leave earlier publication...
...Much has changed since I was a student, but I am occasionally invited to universities, and so I have some ideas relevant to how students might survive four years at the university without suffering brain damage or acquiring some disgusting sexually transmitted disease...
...It might not do to let it get around that you read a lot of dead white males...
...Doing so is important, however, if one wants to score above-average grades, that is to say A-plus-plus-pluses rather than merely the average A-plus...
...Lynne V Cheney is chairman of the National Endowment for the Humanities...
...Know your needs...
...Finally, I would urge the independent-minded student to cultivate sound friendships...
...At any rate, what is most important is that the student become learned and discriminating...
...The building should be chosen carefully, for an overnight stay may be necessary...
...And, incidentally, I approve of the recent trend towards graduating in four years...
...And pick one writer of great prose (Macaulay or Jane Austen would do fine) and one of poetry (anyone from Shakespeare to Auden) to read out loud to yourself whenever you have a chance...
...If inquisitiveness does not have its desired effect because your grades suffer, do what previous generations have done: follow the dictates of your instructor for examination purposes and ignore his advice for the rest of your life...
...All too often they are distracted by the research responsibilities, conferences, and speeches that go with being a star...
...6) Finally, think of college neither as a personal right nor a parental obligation...
...CHARLES HORNER The newly minted undergraduate, encouraged to become everything from a politically correct Egyptologist to a clarinetist in the marching band, should consider a more mischievous extracurricular activity—investigative reporting...
...Glorious stadia...
...5) Try to accept a moral code which involves treating other people the way you would like to be treated...
...They may offer shelter from the rushing tide of political correctness...
...Thus it is difficult for students to gain these teachers' respect or even their attention...
...5) Become an autodidact...
...Waste no time on subjects which have no real academic content such as "women's studies" or "critical theory" and generally beware of courses which have in their titles trendy words like "gender," "structure," or "society...
...20 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR NOVEMBER 1991...
...It won't be available at the book store, but it doesn't hurt to ask...
...Herbert London is dean of New York University's Gallatin Division...
...and your initial bearings from the represen- comed as a human being whose brain In all likelihood they have also attended the author of Inventing Adolescence, tatives of a less intellectually compro- is worthy of progress...
...IRVING LOUIS HOROWITZ (1) Spend a great deal of time in the liTHE AMERICAN SPECTATOR NOVEMBER 1991 19 brary, especially the periodicals section, where real diversity of thought in American life and letters can be found—and without awful pressure or intimidation...
...Avoid the fads and foibles of special-interest programming, e.g., Studies Departments (fill in the blank...
...Get hold of a syllabus for a course in Western Civilization given almost anywhere during the 1950s (try the library) and make up your own reading list from it...
...As an antidote to these rather predictable preoccupations, it is healthy to ask whether there are any questions that cut across time and place, and recognize our common humanity...
...They are usually the ones from whom you stand the best chance of learning something...
...students and faculty—who share your assumptions of the university world, its will probably give you little if any guid- devotion to the adventure of reason...
...And write if you find work...
...Find time to learn a foreign or a classical language, for this will give you an exhilarating sense of accomplishing something difficult...
...This is how one gains a foundation for understanding the civilization in which we all live...
...While there may be many good life...
...Rita Kramer's latest book is Ed School Follies: The Miseducation of American Teachers (The Free Press...
...Courses that emphasize the how (methods, approaches, and theories) over the what (books, objects, and documents) put too much distance between the student and the subject...
...And ryone—thinks alike...
...a copy of its catalogue, circa 1964...
...This will ingratiate the student to the 1960s-bred faculty, and so long as the student only takes courses taught by these hansdoodles, no more class work will be necessary to ensure top grades...
...mired generation...
...Read all the books that the PC crowd find noxious...
...Do not be distracted Such vulgar indoctrination may be an- volume is likely to contain a fairly rig- tual enlightenment or force you to take by your college's impressionistic propanoying, but can be Warded off...
...You do not need to find the proper platitudes and pieties about until then the sensible student would skills, like a command of written and teachers who dig forth your emotions race and (depending on the teacher) best try to turn back the clock...
...Today's faculty is heavily freighted with geniuses from the 1960s generation...
...stick instead with the persons much harder to cope with all the tacit baccalaureate...
...The ultimate logic of deconstruction is that intimidation justifies one's opinion...
...The student is not to be welcomed take care of themselves, having been newly minted faculty members, by and by being labeled with some race, class, taught at the dinner table about the in- Joseph Adelson is professor of psycholo- large you'll probably be safest taking sex, or provincial recognition, but weltellectual toxins to be found at college...
...Select courses that rely more on primary sources and less on second-order scholarly matters...
...If any position is true, ask "How do you know...
...Future reforms may well re- minal degree for the middle class...
...Charles Homer is executive vice president of the Madison Center in Washington, D.C...
...In all other cases, adhere to the following rules as closely as possible: (1) Avoid taking any course the title of which includes the name of a sex or a race...
...JOSEPH ADELSON JAMES DAVID BARBER some time to read the ever-growing (2) Look up the professors who were number of excellent books and peri- on the faculty a quarter century ago and Those youngsters whose parents read odicals our side is writing and publish- still teach the mainstream courses then Going off to college can mean a new The American Spectator can probably ing...
...In fact, such friends can be as important to a young person as good books, and if one of those friends happens to be a prof, that is quite all right, but be wary...
...Irving Louis Horowitz is Hannah Arendt Distinguished Professor of Sociology and Political Science at Rutgers University...
...There is no such thing as a good or poor school abstractly...
...Reflect on the woebegone condition of the prof in the English Department who teaches the courses in comic books or rock lyrics...
...reach phrase...
...2) Learn to accept people as they are and not to try to change them...
...There is no inherent advantage of large over small, rural over urban, well-endowed over poorly endowed...
...That is the glory of being young...
...R. EMMETT TYRRELL, JR...
...gy at the University of Michigan...
...2) Stay as far away as possible from courses claiming to deal with "current aspects of" anything in the social sciences or humanities...
...MAURICE CRANSTON Play your part in college politics, but avoid professors who put politics into their courses...
...which sponsors a nationwide association of student publications and has just published the Common-Sense Guide to American Colleges, 1991-1992...
...4) Start with yourself...
...In fact, how does Derrida know...
...You do not want a four-year to undergo a semester of political re- downhill...
...Make the most of your freedom to think and speak as you wish, but remember that what is a right for you is for most people in the world a privilege they have yet to acquire...
...The to seek another way of attaining intellec- er than demand...
...Should you find yourself in a classroom with the growing legion of professorial deconstructionists, hoist these charlatans by their own petards...
...7) Do not do permanent damage to yourself by using illegal drugs or undertaking other self-destructive behavior...
...Don't fall under the spell of faculty "stars...
...RITA KRAMER Surviving a college education with ones brains intact has become increasingly difficult in recent years, particularly in institutions situated on either coast...
...3) Look for courses in departmentsas far as possible from politics: mathematics, sciences, music, ancient philosophies, languages, for instance...
...Cultivate the habit of reading books and newspapers and spend less time watching TV...
...To distract a prof's attention from his Walkman or, perhaps, Nintendo game long enough to be recognized as a superior mind, the student should, immediately upon arriving on campus, take over a university building...
...As tuitions rise and taxes soar—and quality declines—there's growing evidence that the colleges (perhaps inspired by the newfound interest in who really built those pyramids) are becoming more Pharaonic in their tastes...
...So the student history, literature, philosophy, science, Princeton, New Jersey...
...At last, if you make it from ignorance to reason and respect for reason, do not forget to thank your professors—and your parents...
...or press you into their ideology...
Vol. 24 • November 1991 • No. 11
