The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS • December vanished and with it an entire decade: for Americans, one of the most prosperous in history; for Europeans, one of the most liberating; for Latin Americans, one of...
...In Shanghai, China, a state-of-the-art urine detector nabbed Mr...
...One gets the impression that the 1960s youths now editing Time expect all Americans to be just like them—to wit, lifelong Members of the TV Audience...
...The Times is Washington's most conservative newspaper...
...And terror has struck San Francisco's elites, who are for the most part unwilling recipients for the second year of underwear mailings...
...Our objection was not actually to the depiction of violence but to the phoniness of it...
...The 1985 winner of the H. L. Mencken Award, a Sioux Indian who publishes an Indian newspaper in South Dakota, Mr...
...But the most unusual Yuletide row took place at Minnesota's Moorhead State University where a female psychology teacher, Miss Margaret Potter, grew alarmed over the capacity of mistletoe to excite stupration among male students and prevailed on the administration to ban the potentially aphrodisiac weed from campus...
...and in Green Bay, Wisconsin, Mrs...
...Mencken's remarks were bigoted or because they were insufficiently bigoted...
...In Moscow, the second session of the Congress of People's Deputies convened with a terse and unavailing debate over the Communist party's present power monopoly, which left the Soviet Union's greatest proponent of democracy, Andrei Sakharov, dead of a heart attack and its leading proponent of one-party rule, Mr...
...In religious news, those four soccer players banned for life by the Zimbabwe Football association for publicly voiding on the field at the Harare soccer stadium were apparently acting in accord with religious beliefs...
...The Washington Times conferred its Gruesome Murder of the Year Award 8 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR FEBRUARY 1990 on Mr...
...Were a few actors regularly to die hideously whilst enacting their derring-do, we would have no objections...
...Stutts over her daughter's freedom of thought that she will not allow Cherish back until early 1990 when, of course, controversy over the Easter Bunny begins and Ground Hog Day, and what will this budding hag say about Valentine's Day...
...Alan Cranston (D-Calif...
...Rather than triumphing, the Tongogaras lost 2-0 to the Mayfield Midgets...
...Giago ever read the diaries...
...RET...
...The Christmas season brought the usual number of contretemps...
...In the memorable words of University President Rolland Dille, "I'm not against Christmas . . . But we've come a long way in eliminating some of the customs that encouraged a very different treatment of women...
...In Fort Collins, Colorado, police almost certainly have begun questioning men of Iranian nationality after theorizing that the man who has robbed four women and murdered another is obsessed by women's underwear...
...Debra Stutts slapped a boycott on the neighborhood school where her charming daughter, Miss Cherish Stutts, was asked by a kindergarten teacher not to air her doubts about Santa Claus...
...Officials in Poland refused the offer of Sr...
...The Capitol Hill S&L scandal is taking a toll...
...Police developed this theory after discovering that their suspect stole twenty-five pairs of panties from the home of one of his victims, who seems to be a bit underwear-obsessed herself...
...Leonardo da Vinci, late of Florence, Italy, and Mr...
...75, canceled his Christmas Eve wedding with Miss Cathy Lee Pattiz, 49, the political neophyte, fearing that the unruly press and wildly incontinent paparazzi might muss Miss Pattiz's hair and press upon her hoop skirt...
...authorities fined him $900, and ordered him to sex education classes forever...
...It is not clear whether Mr...
...Think what the others are like...
...And finally, those in Guayaquil, Ecuador, who denounced Mayor Elsa Bucaran's vow to throw Christmas gifts from her window as "demagoguery" have been vindicated...
...Potter or caught her upwind must know that there are limits to mistletoe's puissance...
...To sanctify uninvited endearment...
...Leona Helmsley received a stiff fine and four years in the hoosegow for evading taxes on, among other personal items, a $12.99 girdle...
...Giago objects because Mr...
...Members of the southern Tongogara (pronounced cho-cho-Goo-Goo) team wetted the field on a tip from the team witch doctor, whose contract may not be renewed...
...President George H. W. Bush felt the heat in the kitchen for sending two high government officials to Red China, as we now are free to call it...
...for Latin Americans, one of the most democratic...
...Kelly Gay, 32, was arrested for attempting to warm his dog in a laundromat's heavy-duty dryer...
...John Wayne, the deceased actor who was wont to razz the editors of this fashionable magazine when we objected to Hollywood violence...
...They cannot imagine Americans being active participants in world events, and when they see the emergence of a new world shaped by Ronald Reagan's Administration they rush out to honor the object of Reagan's foreign policy, rather than Reagan...
...Tim Giago (pronounced Gy-M-goh), has vowed to return his award and even possibly the $2,500 that went with it owing to reports that the late Mr...
...Equally doleful are the great lumbering Guernseys of the Republic's bovine intelligentsia...
...Jesus Christ the historic figure they would most like to spend a day with...
...One of the suspect senators, the Hon...
...They have designated the 1980s "The Decade of Greed," though they betray no stirrings of self-denial...
...Nonetheless, association chairman Mr...
...and, according to a press release from the office of House Speaker Thomas S. Foley (D-Wash...
...Richard Craft for putting his wife's body through a wood-chipping machine that he had placed on a bridge so that the ground-up parts would be sprayed into the body of water below...
...the honorable gentleman had Alice, his companion of sixteen years, "put to sleep after being diagnosed with abdominal cancer...
...that being the equivalent of honoring the AIDS virus rather than the successful AIDS researcher...
...In West Hollywood, California, a leading light in the local homeless community, Mr...
...We all know that it is all superstition and the belief in juju that almost all the clubs have taken to believe in is strongly deplored," and very hard on the grass...
...For that matter, it is not clear that Mr...
...In my opinion, mistletoe tends to sanctify uninvited endearment (by the opposite sex...
...Alice, a Belgian Malinot shepherd, was frequently taken along to meetings with congressional leaders and foreign dignitaries—and this bizarre nonsense from a fellow widely adjudged one of the least aberrant figures in Congress...
...Have any of these pampered poseurs adopted bleak asceticism for themselves...
...Lor Eng Kiong as he indulged his secret vice in an apartment complex elevator...
...Nelson Chirwa asseverated that "It is a public indecency for a player to openly urinate on the football pitch...
...Anyone who has ever laid eyes on the ghastly Prof...
...There were various disputes around the Republic over the shocking appearances of Menorahs and Nativity scenes dangerously close to firehouses, city jails, and other government properties...
...and the governments of Panama's General Manuel Antonio Noriega and Rumania's Nicolae Ceausescu fell after some prompting in the first case from an American strike force and in the second case from Rumanians who have seen the future and know from the present and the past that it works...
...Robert Napoleone, of the Italian Communist party, to buy a statue of Mr...
...According to reports, as yet unverified by The American Spectator, some rogue has been mailing large-size men's underwear—often soiled—along with obscene photographs of a white-haired man, to the city's elected officials and civic leaders, some of whom are very irate—but, of course, there must be others who find the mailings very arty...
...Mikhail Gorbachev, acclaimed Time magazine's Man of the Decade...
...Through the decade the pundits' incomes have increased apace with those of all other yuppies, and nowhere is it recorded that they have adopted any charitable interests other than their own bodily needs...
...However, to our morbid friends, the liberal Democrats, it was "The Lost Decade—that being the title of an understandably thin and doleful tract published by them...
...Second on the list was former President Abraham Lincoln, followed by Sr...
...Three women were crushed to death in the unsightly melee beneath her window and another seventeen persons were treated for serious injuries...
...At the vestibule of the Christmas season clerics let out a whoop over a Gallup Poll revealing that two of every three Americans declared Mr...
...In Hamburg, West Germany, Mr...
...So indignant is Mrs...
...Is the thing possible...
...Mathias Rust, the youthful German pacifist who was once imprisoned in the Soviet Union -for flying a borrowed aeroplane into Moscow and landing it in Red Square, has been nabbed by German authorities for stabbing a nurse who resisted his advances...
...Vladimir I. Lenin that has received rough treatment at the hands and feet of Polish workers in Nowa Huta...
...Perhaps there might be a place for them in one of the Republic's great museums, next to the works of Andres Serrano, creator of Piss Christ...
...Mencken interred racist observations in diaries that were to be published on January 15...
Vol. 23 • February 1990 • No. 2
