The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS • On August 2 the Iraqi tyrant Mr. Sad-dam Hussein sent 170,000 of his troops to requisition Kuwait and choice real estate in Saudi Arabia, thus creating on the Kuwaiti-Saudi...
...Researchers in Englewood, Colorado, led by Dr...
...Those American reformers always in such a lather about "white-collar crime" must have thrown little festivals in their hearts when the Internal Revenue Service in Omaha, Nebraska, weighed exhuming the corpse of a recently deceased tax dodger, Mr...
...Jesse Jackson's National Rainbow Coalition, Inc...
...In New York the oldest New Yorker under indictment for murder, Mr...
...It could get kinky, Miss Staller...
...Jackson announced immediate plans to fly to Baghdad to interview the unfortunate Mr...
...He was 95...
...But the American buildup in the desert continued, and as health hazards multiplied around the fortifications of the unsanitary Iraqis, it seemed increasingly likely that units of the World Health Organization would be summoned to assist any Iraqi pullout and to disinfect those smelly encampments...
...Paul Cherrie, overindulged themselves on the slime of Mr...
...It has become very popular among upper-class Canadians and faculty members of the Harvard Law School...
...Santos promptly reciprocated, notifying the rat, which he held by its tail, that "Starting now, we begin our campaign against rats...
...Elsewhere politicians were giving of themselves in August, or at least promising to...
...Former President Jimmy Carter continues to amaze...
...Candor and proper regard for public health should admonish the senator's antagonists to rechristen their group "The Anal and Oral Majority," thereby providing a full account of their amorous rites...
...In Oshkosh, Wisconsin, Mr...
...in an attempt to collect $14,586.36—the unpaid remnant of a $22,317.73 bill rung up by the Rev...
...I am willing to let him have his way with me if in exchange he frees the hostages...
...He was 48 and a treasured friend of this magazine...
...Possibly they are English tourists in search of some good home cooking...
...The animal rights movement was presented with a vivid demonstration of the unkind treatment accorded animals by bipeds early in the month in Brazil, where Mr...
...Barry will be mayor-for-life, for he is the city's leading heel...
...The astute Mr...
...Ettore Maserati, who with his brother Alfieri founded the Maserati automobile company and racing team, died...
...The slime, when properly ingested, produces a mellow high, then violent retching and partial paralysis...
...The infelicitously named Rep...
...I am available," the blond beauty declaimed, "to make love with Hussein to achieve peace...
...van Gogh's paintings are, according to these researchers, symptoms of Miniere's disease, an inner-ear malady conducing to vertigo, deafness, erratic vision, and nausea, hence that ghastly "Wheatfield With Crows" thing...
...And from France comes the sad news that one of the most tireless and intelligent proponents of modern conservatism, 8 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR OCTOBER 1990 Mr...
...J. J. in the summer of 1989, when he used a limousine practically every day to demonstrate an arcane point of his African-American socialist philosophy...
...What possible good can come from such sophistry...
...and his lovely wife Margaret pleaded not guilty to outrageous and unconscionable charges that this 45-year-old man of the cloth had diverted $141,700 from his Allen African Methodist Church, of which he is pope, and from its associated Allen Senior Citizens Apartments—built with a $10 million federal loan—to his own purposes...
...Motaghed's gold fillings...
...Just a mile from Washington's Smithsonian museums, Mr...
...Tom Hughes' frequently overlooked Potato Museum has shut its doors to the 500 or more tourists who for fifteen years have been flocking to it under what delusions one can scarcely imagine...
...Ehsanolla Motaghed, to confirm that he is indeed dead and not engaged in another of his clever ruses...
...In Italy, perhaps the most famous member of parliament, the ecdysiast Miss Ilona Staller, announced a peace plan for the Middle East...
...In Washington, D.C., the court declared a mistrial on twelve of fourteen counts in the drug trial of Mayor Marion Barry...
...Jean-Marie Benoist, has died of stomach cancer...
...Santos received eight antirabies injections, a consideration denied the rat, who has yet to be located by concerned citizens or potential supporters in the animal rights movement...
...Vincent van Gogh was a very untidy man, with the manners of an Adolf Hitler and none of the redeeming qualities of our own Mapplethorpe or Serrano, the Michelangelo of the urinary tract...
...Jordan's King Hussein (no relation) undertook an immediate diplomatic mission to Washington, hoping to prevent hostilities and perhaps secure for the Iraqis adequate supplies of Kaopectate...
...In Amherst, Massachusetts, new high school guidelines against "sexual harassment" will make it malum prohibitum to exchange "intimate" sexual gossip in school hallways or to "stare or to leer with sexual overtones"—prohibitions that will make the school year long and tedious for Amherst's vaunted high school cheerleaders...
...In London, a hot, dry summer has pig specialists worried that the famed porkers of the Cotswolds are failing to copulate...
...If the process works, Mr...
...In Bologna, Italy, Mr...
...East German soldiers will no longer march the goose step, according to Defense Minister Rainer Eppelmann...
...Ray Santos, a politician running for state representative, was bitten by a rat during a televised campaign appearance...
...On August 28 the College Board released test data demonstrating that college-bound high school seniors had recorded the lowest reading scores in a decade, which is good news when one considers the appalling stuff they will be asked to read if they attend such benighted institutions as Stanford University or the Patrice Lumumba University of Moscow...
...He also forced Western children to participate in propaganda films with him...
...In New York State, sportsmen are complaining that conflict of interest statutes were flouted when Governor Mario Cuomo signed into law legislation banning dwarf-tossing and dwarf-bowling...
...Hussein continued to round up Western civilians and incarcerate them at Iraqi sites likely to be attacked in the event of war...
...RET...
...A few days later, the Rev...
...Barry immediately called for a city-wide healing process...
...A fire cut off electricity throughout lower Manhattan, and three of the men who brutally assaulted the Central Park jogger were found guilty of serious breaches of the peace...
...a 92-year-old man died at the wheel upon smacking his 1964 Corvette into a brick wall...
...Superior Court by Tommy's Limousine, Inc...
...Mike Williamson, an authority at the Cotswold Pig Development Company, advises farmers that boars and sows will be less reluctant to mate if they "freshen up" by having buckets of mud thrown on them—though caution must be exercised lest farmers spill the powerful aphrodisiac on themselves...
...and Mrs...
...Viewed a certain way these are acts of peace and humanity, and certainly all Americans can be grateful that Mr...
...Supporters of Senator Jesse Helms's reelection campaign have filed a complaint with the FEC against "The Oral Majority," a homosexual organization that is harassing the senator and, incidentally, not being exactly up front with the public...
...I. Kaufman Arenberg are attempting to convince the public that the simian daubings of the late Mr...
...Then, too, there are Mr...
...Sad-dam Hussein sent 170,000 of his troops to requisition Kuwait and choice real estate in Saudi Arabia, thus creating on the Kuwaiti-Saudi border the Middle East's largest concentration of amoebic dysentery...
...With unanticipated alacrity President George Herbert Walker Bush orchestrated a worldwide embargo against Iraq and sent an American expeditionary force to Saudi Arabia...
...German progressives have protested that the goose step is repugnant to democratic values, and animal rights activists have long posited that it is painful to the geese...
...was sued in D.C...
...Vincent van Gogh are not the artist's fault...
...The potential dangers of licking toad slime were again manifest after two Canadians, Mr...
...Like the alcoholic's aberrant behavior, Mr...
...The Rev...
...Meanwhile, Mr...
...Mark A. Peterson, 29, has pled not guilty to raping simultaneously two of a woman's twenty-one personalities in the congested back seat of his car last June...
...Floyd H. Flake (D-N.Y...
...In Santa Barbara, California (where else...
...Oliver Barre, 95, died when hit by an express bus...
...Soon the astonished Saddam Hussein found himself the object of a naval interdiction of all trade with his country, including many Porta-Johns urgently needed by his embattled army...
...The movement away from accepting personal responsibility for one's dubious behavior continues...
...Carter has the leisure time to view them far away from the lusty swales of our nation's capital...
...Subsequently Mr...
...Late in the month in Oslo, Norway, at a conference sponsored by the Elie Wiesel Foundation for Humanity, the insufferable twit chided the Western democracies for their "personalized hatred" of Mt Sad-dam Hussein and for adding him to a historic list of enemies "stripped of any redeeming human characteristics...
...Murphy's cane toad...
...Garry Murphy and Mr...
...And, incidentally, the Wall Street Journal on August 9 reported on an art museum worthy of a fat grant from the National Endowment for the Arts...
Vol. 23 • October 1990 • No. 10
