The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS • May passed and so did the Hon. Tony Coelho (D-California) and House Speaker Jim Wright (D-Texas)—both of whom were vigorously examined long ago in the pages of this...
...think of it, to the bankrupting of Massachusetts...
...Roseann Grecco of West Islip, New York, has been sentenced to prison for repeatedly running her automobile over her supine husband, though she still protests that he was possessed by Mickey Mouse...
...RET THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JULY 1989 9...
...He was cited for being under the influence of PCP and released on his own recognizance...
...In Malmo, Sweden, a lady, who remains anonymous, was trapped for forty-eight hours after her deck chair enfolded her...
...Jeffrey Luiz, 23, led a protest demonstration in New York City against Blue Cross/Blue Shield because the insurer has stopped paying his sex-change bills halfway through the process, leaving him, however, as a very promising candidate for Ms...
...In San Antonio, Texas, an Air Force woman who insists that she is a witch has been granted permission to observe her faith's eight holidays, including Halloween...
...Coelho's fate as long ago as April 27...
...She has been reprimanded for allegedly baring her breasts to female students to demonstrate the results of "augmentation surgery" and may face dismissal...
...Army's Golden Knights suffered injury during a parachute landing on the Mount Rushmore Visitor Center...
...But now the campaign to add the genial visage of former President Reagan to Mount Rushmore is reminding America that there was an alternative to Jimmy Carter and, come to `See "The Stuff on Wright," by Terence P. Jeffrey, TAS, August 1988, and "The Big Fix," by James Ring Adams, TAS, March 1989...
...And in Jackson, Mississippi, the Mississippi Christian Knights of the Ku Klux Klan on May 12 defrocked Mr...
...Juan Cordova and Sr...
...District Judge Gerhard Gesell upon his retirement or removal from the bench...
...1 do...
...A retired English policeman had to run for his life after stopping to assist a rare red-crested pochard that crashed unprovoked into his automobile, causing nearly $200 of damage...
...Tony Coelho (D-California) and House Speaker Jim Wright (D-Texas)—both of whom were vigorously examined long ago in the pages of this easy-to-read literary review' and adjudged preposterous...
...In Gallatin, Tennessee, Miss Wanda Huff, 51, filed assault charges against the bluegrass virtuoso Mr...
...Paraguayans elected General Andres Rodrigues president, and the first phase of a partial Soviet troop withdrawal from Eastern Europe was marred when one of the departing tanks crushed a dove under its tracks...
...The American Spectator's managing editor, Mr...
...Vega explained that he was actually Tarzan and had been bitten by a snake while in a tree canoodling with Jane—but the cops would have none of it...
...Scott Corder, the idealistic family practitioner from Ottawa, Kansas, had his license suspended by the Kansas State Board of Healing Arts after board members became alarmed by his beliefs that those extraterrestrial creatures he has spotted traveling through the galaxies are actually angels, and that a woman in Russell, Kansas, is in constant communication with Saint Peter, who has notified her of the likelihood of an earthquake in the Kansas City area sometime this summer...
...One month after The American Spectator's exposé, Surgeon General C. Everett Koop announced his resignation, effective July 13...
...Progressives were exultant over reports that Dr...
...Islam views Christ as a very worthy prophet, and blasphemy as without artistic merit...
...Other personalities in the news included Miss Danette Arrington, the drill team instructor at Houston's Northbrook Senior High School...
...I've developed inner peace as the result of a tremendous struggle...
...If there be any doubts about that judgment, skeptics are directed to the Hon...
...Walter Mondale, or President Jimmy Carter, those being the recent giants of the Democratic genius...
...The visitor center on President Reagan's head will be more comfortable...
...Yusuf Islam, formerly the pop warbler known as Mr...
...Edward A. Wasserman, a professor of psychology at the University of Iowa, had trained eight pigeons to recognize human facial expressions, thus upsetting long-held notions that only humans have sufficiently sophisticated nervous systems for such discernment and putting any of the eight birds in line to replace U.S...
...Islam and other participants on the program "demonstrate how divided British liberal intellectuals remain over the affair...
...Finally, May could well mark the beginning of a consumerist rebellion against surgical sex changes...
...Paskey Dedomenico, the Rice-a-Roni king, passed on in Seattle, Washington...
...And Mr...
...Sal-man Rushdie, saying, "I would have hoped that it'd be the real thing...
...The only damper on our campaign came early in May when one of the U.S...
...Bill Monroe for, in her own words, hitting her "right in the mouth" with the Bible...
...While appearing on a London television program, Mr...
...There is renewed controversy over the product of Mr...
...Gollub, he was booted because his colleagues disapprove of his "background and the fact that I'm against Catholics joining the Klan...
...You're next...
...Advocates of benightedness and general hysteria were greatly heartened when it was reported that the Nation, the 124-year-old left-wing weekly, had reached a contract settlement with the Newspaper Guild, assuring the magazine's employees an annual six percent pay increase for three years, presumably along with continued access to the magazine's herb garden and its Stanford University-trained juju adept...
...Apparently the incontinent Mr...
...In more American Spectator news, the campaign to raise former President Ronald Reagan's visage to Mount Rushmore is progressing allegro con moto, with support for the project resounding throughout a grateful Republic...
...Islamic executioners stoned to death eleven women of the night and their business managers, and in Belfast, Northern Ireland, a row has broken out over a government plan to erect a statue of two prostitutes to commemorate the city's red-light district...
...Craig R. Whitney in the May 23 New York Times, the statements by Mr...
...The project has boiled the blood of the so-called Liberals who had hoped that the 1980s could be erased from memory and that maybe President George Bush could be persuaded to adopt the statecraft of Governor Michael Dukakis, Mr...
...Serrano's profanation...
...On May 4 Mr...
...Richard Preclaro Vega, 27...
...No one can take my inner peace from me...
...Canadians were shaken by a government report that they accumulate more garbage per person than the citizenry of any other leading industrial country...
...Jose Guzman for laundering and reselling used condoms...
...Peruvian police arrested Sr...
...In Goaljoi, India, Miss Sonamoni Kisku was dragged from her hut and axed to death by neighbors who suspected her of being a witch...
...Cat Stevens, eschewed an effigial burning of the author Mr...
...Paul Corney, no sooner had he stepped from his car than he noticed "a crowd of furious bird-watchers" advancing on him and waving their dread binoculars...
...According to Mr...
...Miss Staller was unhurt and fully clothed...
...Wladyslaw Pleszczynski, adumbrated Mr...
...Coelho's adios statement to bemused editors of the New York Times, wherein the dolt interred the first person singular seventy times for an average of 1.1 per sentence, adding this occult declamation: "I've always said I have a tremendous amount of inner peace...
...Pleszczynski notified the public that "the best thing" to occur in the first 100 days of the Bush Administration was the shift of media scrutiny from the presidency to Congress, and then added: "Tony Coelho, watch out...
...China was alive with protests throughout the month despite the soothing presence of Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev, who renewed diplomatic relations with Peking...
...Danie du Toit, 49, had no sooner addressed the local Toastmasters Club, enjoining listeners to enjoy life to the fullest as death can come at any time, than he sat down and died...
...On that day in the Wall Street Journal, Mr...
...Andres Serrano's kidneys...
...The dove had been released as a demonstration of peace by the Hungarian-born Italian M.P., Ilona Staller, better known as porn artiste "Cicciolina...
...Joe Valdez Caballero, creator of the "crisp taco shell," died in Dallas, Texas...
...Miss Karen Ulane, the former Eastern Airlines pilot who had been discharged by the company for her sex change, died at 48...
...This time they jugged him for lying by a roadside, covered with fake blood and wearing only a leopard-skin loincloth...
...Incidentally, when the Nation was founded it was a Republican journal...
...011ie North was found guilty on three charges issuing from the Iran-contra imbroglio, though by the end of the month only one of the jurors, 35-year-old Miss Tara King, had admitted to substance abuse...
...Official Washington promptly commenced to bawl about the imminent departure of this weird bedlamite and about the possibility that others may be departing soon, but do not think that they were not forewarned...
...Christine Jorgensen, one of the first surgically revised women, died at age 62, nearly seventeen years under the average life expectancy for an American female...
...Mr...
...Remarked Mr...
...magazine's Person of the Year award...
...and Mrs...
...Jordan Gollub of Poplarville, theretofore their leader, after the galoots discovered that Mr...
...According to Miss King, she maintained a weekly cocaine habit before becoming a regular on Judge Gesell's jury...
...Serrano, while posing as an artist, hoodwinked federal art boobs into giving him government monies for photographing a crucifix submerged in a jar of his own urine, and Christians are irked—which is okay, but Muslims better not get wind of Mr...
...In California, the Chula Vista Police Department continues to harass Mr...
...Gollub is Jewish...
...According to Mr...
...In 8 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JULY 1989 Johannesburg, South Africa, Mr...
Vol. 22 • July 1989 • No. 7
