The Continuing Crisis
THE CONTINUING CRISIS • February has now slipped into the past tense. In fact, this being Washington, February is now consigned to antiquity. The illuminati of this incomparable Gomorrah have no...
...Alfonso de Borbon y de Dampierre, the Duke of Cadiz, lost his life in a skiing accident at the Beaver Creek Resort in Colorado...
...Nussbaum's account of submission...
...The case putatively originated with those two infamous eructations that Mr...
...Hamm really was stuck in his garbage can and eventually died of a heart attack...
...Robert Hamm before it was too late...
...Our purpose is to establish modern toilet-care habits and toilet technology in line with Western standards," solemnized Mr...
...Also deceased is Mr...
...The courts are again being lured into a controversy that is essentially medical in nature...
...And President George Bush submitted a $1.16 trillion budget to Congress and left for Japan...
...Now county medical examiner Dr...
...Jesse Jackson, was found guilty of half the charges against him in a Greenville, South Carolina court, including the stabbing of Miss Janice Denise Rosemond...
...Donald Ball, director of Ball & Dodd Funeral Home, made cultural history when he revealed that a recent client, jazz musician Mr...
...Two San Francisco congressional representatives, the Hon...
...In the holy city of Qum, the Rev...
...Nancy Pelosi, nominated something called "the AIDS quilt" for the Nobel Peace Prize...
...Hamm's front porch as he waved at them from his garbage can...
...Tower's fossils in public, making his nomination as secretary of defense painfully problematic...
...In Jamaica's elections former socialist Prime Minister Mr...
...Kenneth Lamar Noid, 22, whom authorities described as "television-saturated," held two employees of a suburban-based Domino's Pizza store hostage for five hours in protest of the pizza chain's infelicitously named "Avoid the Noid" commercials...
...Barrie Thorne, in recognition of her distinguished research on gender in American society, was appointed Barbra Streisand Professor of Intimacy and Sexuality at the University of Southern California—her telephone number is available upon request...
...Approximately forty-five staff members of Spy magazine ran for their lives when office litter caught fire, setting off smoke alarms and sprinkler systems...
...Ralph Nader and his stalwarts are involved, testing the state's throw-away bottle laws or attempting to establish "burp-free" sections in New Hampshire restaurants...
...Leonard Hobson sat quietly in his car for three days while officious meter maids placed seven parking citations on his windshield until one noticed that Mr...
...Michael Manley beat Prime Minister Edward Seaga...
...Kitty Dukakis cleared up a lot of confusion when she entered an alcohol rehabilitation center...
...Noah Robinson, half-brother of the Rev...
...At Pat's King of Steaks restaurant in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, an unidentified customer who complained about the staff's tardiness in serving his cheesesteak was stabbed to death by the restaurant's mercurial chef, Mr...
...The illuminati of this incomparable Gomorrah have no memory, which is probably for the best...
...Responding to studies by the Kinsey Institute for Sex Research that as many as 10 percent of the male population find the standard size condom too tight, Mayer Laboratories has come out with an extra-sized condom to be sold at health stores and pharmacies and to be called MAXX, though another possibility might be "Big Foot...
...Tower was sufficiently gifted to serve in the Senate with them for twenty-four years, four as Senator Nunn's predecessor on the Senate Armed Services Committee, one really would not want to see such a fellow in a position of responsibility...
...Oliver W. Sipple, a former marine who thwarted Miss Sara Jane Moore's attempt to assassinate President Gerald Ford, died at 47...
...Billy Tipton, had throughout his adult life actually been a woman, and a very pretty one at that...
...I just assumed he was sitting there reading the paper and smoking a cigar...
...Barbara Boxer and the Hon...
...Hence in Washington the sweep of the second hand fossilizes all that it passes over...
...Presumably, faculties throughout the Ivy League are now on the alert for bruised Rockefellers and du Ponts...
...In Lamed, Kansas, Judge Philip C. Aldrich has decided to retire from the bench rather than face criminal charges that he ripped fourteen newly installed telephones from the Pawnee County Courthouse after they failed to respond to his admittedly maladroit long-distance dialing...
...Frank (Killer Joe) Piro, the legendary dance instructor who taught New Yorkers such steps as the mambo, the cha-cha, the merengue, the twist, the frug, the frog, the watusi, the mule, the hullygully, and Monet's Waterlilies...
...The majestic process of the senatorial mind is not easily comprehensible, but apparently Senator Nunn and his confreres determined that though Mr...
...Many members of the staff cannot swim, and co-editor Kurt Andersen was at particular risk, for he cannot run either, and the sprinkler systems caused his hair-coloring preparation to run all over his blouse...
...The courthouse, according to deputy clerk Miss Joan Speed, will operate on a temporary telephone system until Judge Aldrich leaves...
...Consulate and exposing her pendulous breasts to consulate staff members, causing several of the staffs young men—unless changes have been made—to become 8 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR APRIL 1989 nauseous...
...After elaborate parliamentary tricks the United States House of Representatives confounded itself into defeating its own pay increase, and Turkey's Toilets Foundation has ended its 6-month search for that country's best-kept comfort stations...
...An article in the American Journal of Psychiatry reported that only 55 percent of all psychiatrists and 43 percent of all psychologists believe in God, though virtually all still believe in Freud and many even believe in the late C. G. Jung...
...In Los Angeles, Dr...
...In Rome, Italian porn star turned parliamentarian Miss Ilona Staller protested the United States government's refusal to grant her a visa by demonstrating in front of the U.S...
...It appeared that he was stuck in the thing up to his armpits and wearing only a night shirt...
...Joel B. Steinberg, the distinguished attorney and relic of the Playboy philosophy, was convicted of first-degree manslaughter in the death of 6-year-old Lisa Steinberg, the unfortunate child being raised by him and his companion, Miss Hedda Nussbaum, in their Greenwich Village apartment...
...and Paraguay's General Alfredo Stroessner ended his 34-year rule after a ferocious shoot-out at his Presidential Palace left 300 dead...
...New Hampshire's Supreme Court has been requested to pass judgment on when men of good will might adjudge a burp intentional, willful, and criminal...
...Were they to remember what they were doing the week before last, they might be too mortified to exercise their public trust today...
...He was 68...
...He has his work cut out for him—for, as he lamented, this year's awards list was dominated by gas stations while "no hospitals, mosques, or schools were worthy...
...In Rochester, New York, the lament has gone up: "Why didn't someone help Mr...
...In Oklahoma City, Mr...
...Baha Tunaligil, the visionary whose dream guides the Toilets Foundation...
...Unfortunately, throughout the month Senate bluenoses led by the abstemious and chaste Senator Sam Nunn examined Mr...
...For three days residents of this community passed Mr...
...Herbert Saxton...
...Mr...
...The Census Bureau reports a record 504,404 elected officials at large in the country...
...According to the New York Times's front-page account of the conviction, "the horror of Lisa's death and the live television coverage of the trial . . . helped raise consciousness about child abuse in middle- and upper-class households...
...In Spokane, Washington, Mr...
...Nicholas Forbes reports that Mr...
...John Vare...
...People," the venerable Times concluded, "recognized a part of themselves in Ms...
...In Davis Cup competition, the United States beat Paraguay, 2-0...
...Mr...
...Salman Rushdie, author of The Satanic Verses, but then went overboard once again by remonstrating rather floridly against sale of the book in bookstores and through the mail...
...Hobson, 67, who has had a long history of illness, was dead...
...Eddie LeVeque, the last of the original Keystone Kops, died at 92, and Mr...
...At dinner parties, at parent-teacher meetings, the case was impossible to ignore"—that is the kind of mush-mush that now appears on the front page of the Nation's newspaper of record...
...Ayatollah Khomeini put out a $5.6 million contract on the life of Mr...
...James Jordan perpetrated during an April 1988 Breathalyzer test, but surely there is more to it, and do not be surprised if Mr...
...Ford was President from 1974 to 1977...
...He waved to me and I acknowledged just like I'd done hundreds of times before," testified postman Mr...
...RET...
...And former Senator John Tower was counting on that...
...Ron Brown, a former associate of Jesse Jackson, became chairman of the Democratic party...
Vol. 22 • April 1989 • No. 4
