A New McCarthyism: The List Continues
O'Rourke, P. J.
I've got a little list—I've got a little list Of society offenders who might well be underground, And who never would be missed—who never would be missed! . . . the idiot who praises with...
...THE LIST ITSELF But before we begin the actual list, let's hear from a couple of people who eschewed naming names and took broad philosophical views instead...
...For example, going 'Humph!' and rolling the eyes when someone mentions Nixon...
...Louis Farrakhan Paxton Davis, a radical leftist columnist in our local paper PLOWSHARES Justices Brennan, Marshall and Blackmun, stubborn ole' misfits Armand Hammer Gloria Steinem Larry Flynt Hugh and Christine Hefner Paul Newman: He's beautiful and talented and I love him—but I HATE HIS POLITICS...
...Is anybody on this list truly human...
...Those scarlet-beaked birdbrains at National Public Radio, especially the staff of `All Things Considered" Cat Stevens Darryl Hannah Bob Barker Flora Lewis Joan Baez And that true red tool, City Paper editor Jack Shafer Just a minute here, Tom, Jack Shafer isn't a "red tool," he's a Libertarian—similar to a conservative except he believes we should all have private Polaris missilg in our backyard pools...
...Edward Boland (D-MA) Whoopi Goldberg Robin "Wish I Were Whoopi Goldberg" Williams Don Johnson Barbra Streisand David Corn Robert Scheer Mark Green Leslie Stahl Katharine Graham All college presidents except John Silber and George Roche "Shocked to find the following names missing from the New Enemies List," says Lawrence D. Skutch of Westport, Connecticut: John Dingell (D-MI), whose recent pronouncements on scientific method make this country appear "a buffoon among great nations" Bill Bradley (D-NJ), who pulled strings to join a reserve unit during Vietnam so he could continue his important work—playing basketball Sam Nunn (D-GA), whose only useful action is to prove a Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee is unfit to be Secretary of Defense Johnny Carson, whose only funny line in almost thirty years was that Jim Wright would resign as Speaker as soon as he could find a buyer for the office Jay Leno, who thinks the mere mention of J. Danforth Quayle should regale the assorted hinds with laughter Edward Kennedy (D-MA), who, while enjoying the fruits of a $400 million trust fund, can't spend the rest of the country's money fast enough Tip O'Neill James A. Morgan of Martinsburg, West Virginia, proposes: Jane Fonda Molly Yard Barbara Ehrenreich Kate Michelman And my peacenik friends George and Linda from Pittsburgh whom I suspect would secretly love to be on a right-wing enemies list Terry Przybylski of Des Plaines, Illinois, says of his dishonor roll, "This is all I have time for right now...
...1. Arnold Schwarzenegger...
...Tom Downey (D-NY) Mark Shields Tom Braden Jack Nelson (L.A...
...14 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR was accompanied by a brief muster roll of nitwits—some 100-odd names with which to chum the waters of indignation...
...Besides, he once gave me an even better book plug than Garrick Utley...
...Solarz Charlane Hunter-Gault Geraldo Rivera Hodding Carter III Lowell Weicker Paul Sarbanes And maybe Richard Nixon Richard Nixon...
...Phil had a lot more to say but a bear ate him...
...And what's this "Chee-lay" stuff...
...And he nominates: The American Library Association Jack Anderson Handgun Control Inc...
...T ames J. Griffitts protests my plan J for media overexposure...
...Sure they spout nonsense but it's in the great nonsense-spouting tradition of Irish, Italians, and Jews before them...
...Geraldine Ferraro and family All bemoaners of "insensitivity" All "nuclear-free zones" The perpetrators of the hyphenated last name syndrome Feminists who insist upon ragging patriarchy by retaining, upon marriage, their daddies' names 16 E Kennedy, Jr...
...Or clapping at movies, considering the dead ducks in Alaska 'a crime against humanity,' and saying 'Oh, God...
...He's always been good about plugging my books, and there are some things more important than politics—car payments, just for instance...
...Someone actually proposed Arnold Schwarzenegger for the New Enemies List, and I'm going to save that person's life...
...Douglas Wilder of VA Gov...
...One more omission: Rep...
...Rowan, who had a trophy-size stoned teenager trapped in his own backyard and couldn't manage a kill shot...
...And how much more overexposed can you get...
...Or saying `Oh, God!' at the mention of Reagan...
...but has failed to make the slightest dent in Rob Lowe...
...Mr...
...Almost a thousand individuals, institutions, and categories of morons were proposed for execration...
...Nicholas A. Damask II of Cincinnati, Ohio, who signs himself "an obviously racist-sexist-fascist-homophobic college student," suggests: Sen...
...Mike Dukakis, despised as a loser...
...More predictably, there was plenty of media-baiting—of Dan Rather and Sam Donaldson in particular and of National Public Radio in general...
...T hat said, the following register of 1 enemies, including reader comments, is presented in the order received and edited only to eliminate repetition...
...Phil Maggitti of Elverson, Pennsylvania, wrote: "In the midst of an otherwise admirable and occasionally funny piece in your July issue, P. J. 'He's-No-Tom-Wolfe' O'Rourke takes the obligatory cheap shot at animal rights activists...
...We've got a bunch of guns and all you liberals have is Carl P. J. O'Rourke VOL...
...And why should we impose the likes of Howard Metzenbaum on ordinary, decent crack dealers...
...Now, the list...
...Here, however, is the rest of the Vollmer Index: Sen...
...But now I'm not so sure...
...Such was my call to action, and the reader response was heartening...
...Our jails are too full already...
...22, NO...
...The geek who does the "SNL News" on Saturday Night Live Bill Wiltman of Dade City, Florida, submits: Anybody who thinks Mahler was a great composer The progeny of Henry Ford and R. Reynolds Howard Cosell "Also," says Bill, "I suggest developing a schedule of traits common to all members of The List...
...It has to have a Rockefeller...
...James Traficant, Jr...
...You've gone too far, James...
...Leland's aides bitched loudly about the "inadequate" efforts to find their boss...
...Mark Sheffield, Jr...
...They pulled Joe Bob Briggs...
...Lawyers: the antichrist will have a law degree, of this I am certain Tom . Lauria of Arlington, Virginia, notes that our first article "overlooked some major, A-list Comsymp Redheads...
...Let's give a wedgie to the whiners, criers, and wet smacks in mortar boards...
...Every 2-3 months they show us a 'People's Republic' country with smiling peasants and citizens...
...C Everett Koop E.T...
...Jim Bakker Bob Beckel The Hon...
...Pat was nominated for the List almost as many times' as Molly Yard, but what use is perpetrating arbitary injustice if I can't be arbitrary about it...
...Besides, Arnold is a big-time Republican and watching him marry into the Kennedy clan was one of the most satisfying spectacles of the late twentieth century...
...Instead, we'll put his staff on the list...
...Arlen Specter David Stockman Robert Strauss Laurence Tribe The Unitarian Society West Germany, Don't they ever learn...
...And, right on cue, in the August issue of NG, is a gushing piece, "The Many Lives of Old Havana...
...the idiot who praises with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this and every country but his own...
...Christopher "Nicaraguan Foreign Minister" Dodd (D-CT) Rep...
...But, hey," he continues, "now that the Right has its own 'Names Project...
...The American Roman Catholic Bishops: Heretics all...
...Finally, there was a solitary letter of dissent...
...W illiam Milton Macfadyen of Santa Barbara, California, sends us a neatly typed, inclusive, and alphabetized syllabus...
...In fact, the faint sound of tumbrels rolling can be heard in the background of more than a few Enemies List missives...
...He thinks some people should be banned from TV entirely: Old Nixon, Johnson, and Carter experts who hover in covens along the Potomac Robert MacNamara CIA's Colby: an obvious security risk Griffitts also suggests that subcommittees made up of blacks, Episcopalians, Jews, journalists, and Republicans should be set up to select numbers of their own to be banished from the media, e.g.: Andrew Young Barbara Jordan William Sloane Coffin Desmond Btu Headman Browning Alan Dershowitz Rep...
...And Barney Frank was damned with greater frequency than Christopher Dodd or Louis Farrakhan...
...THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR OCTOBER 1989...
...Personally, Dave, I think Larry King redeems himself for the former by the latter...
...That distinction belongs, oddly enough, to Sen...
...Joe's original list...
...Alan Dixon (D-IL) Illinois Governor James Thompson, a donkey in elephant's clothing if ever there was one Jesse Jackson, his wife, his kids, his neighbors, anyone who ever voted for him and anyone who ever trained a camera on him Lyndon LaRouche, so the lefties in the media will quit calling him an "arch-conservative" Bella Abzug USA Today Vernon Jarrett, race-baiting columnist for the Chicago Sun Times The "Tempo Woman" section of the Chicago Tribune, presented every Sunday by the Women's International Conspiracy from Hell Betty Friedan Kate Millet Susan Brownmiller Margaret Atwood Cardinal Bernardin of Chicago Archbishop Weakland of Milwaukee Any priest, minister, or rabbi who was in the seminary or divinity school during the Vietnam war, to be defrocked by one of his peers who was there NOW NAACP ADA Greenpeace AARR since we can't get Claude Pepper anymore ACLU UAW Sorry, TAS, sometimes you have to offend your advertisers Ann Arbor Michigan Madison, Wisconsin Iowa City, Iowa Marvin Miller, the former head of the basketball player's union, for calling American academia a "right-wing" institution Bryan R. Johnson of Blacksburg, Virginia, says, "If it is later discovered that an innocent person has been placed on the list, we can do what the Soviets do—rehabilitate their names about fifty years after they're dead...
...Not only do we conservatives support the Second Amendment, we also exercise our Second Amendment rights...
...Paul Trible (R-VA), quitter and turncoat...
...What can I say, Chris...
...Governor Martha "ERA or Bust" Griffiths Detroit Mayor Coleman Young, Father of his City Sen...
...Let's tell ghost stories to the mollycoddles who fear atomic power, military strength, and the very puissance of Western Civilization itself and turn the garden hose on people who can't bear their freedoms, their selves, or their society and want to vent those pathetic loathings on us, their betters...
...Mencken voted for Roosevelt in '32...
...That's as fine a sentiment as any with which to close the list for this month...
...That is, media overexposure worked like a charm on Morton Downey, Jr...
...Let that TAS/NRA overlap be fair warning to the pink-squeeks...
...Willie Brown California's Democratic congressional delegation Cesar Chavez The Dishonorable Tony Coelho EarthFirst...
...However, neither the Hymietown Rhymer nor In The-Drink Eddie received the most Enemies List nominations...
...So—please": Joanne Woodward, who wants to keep back-alley abortionists at bay Jimmy Carter, who wants to keep on hammering Lily Tomlin, who wants to help make Ann Richards governor of Texas Ann Richards Ann Lewis Plus: Massachusetts New York City Dan Rather Walter Cronkite Cathy Cronkite: Walter's daughter who has a radio talk show here and gets downright testy with callers who show just a speck of good sense Dr...
...Numerous Roman Catholic bishops, clergy and dissident nuns: I am a Roman Catholic—but am no Leftist or libertarian Columnist William Raspberry, an ordinarily sensible man who supports Jesse Jackson for PRESIDENT...
...government subsidize an American book tour by Salman Rushdie...
...Michael G. Gartner Jessica Hahn The Hon...
...With Reagan came fellow travelers from the left—Reagan Democrats and religious Nazis and kinder, gentler Welfare State Conservatives...
...Such a list is needed because we are all susceptible to frauds now and then, even the best fraud detectives...
...Robert W. Somers of Carrboro, North Carolina, names: The Raleigh News and Observer- This birdcage liner has kept the ravings of Cockburn, McGrory and Lewis while purging the writings of R. E. Tyrrell and Joe Bob Briggs...
...Well put, Marion, but Gloria Steinem is from my home town of Toledo, Ohio, and, believe me, she's got a reason to be crazy...
...And, as for Pat weeping during her presidential campaign, hell, all I had to do was watch the '88 election and I howled like a tyke in a month-old Pamper...
...This can be solved by the time-honored trade practice of government subsidized dumping...
...But the annoyance factor seemed to outweigh public danger in TAS readers' minds...
...I had proposed "media overexposure" as a form of revenge—putting our victims in supermarket tabloids and on television talk shows until the public gagged and condemned them to remote dinner theatre productions...
...Sure, crush the lefties, but save some ideological muscle for the brown-shirts and hairshirts of the right: Wannabe bureaucrat businessmen and bible-toting bomb-heaving Christians...
...The Massachusetts congressional delegation: Send in the clowns Rep...
...Brian "Shorty" Willson John F. Curran of River Edge, New Jersey, gives us the following excellent suggestions: Little kids who become penpals of totalitarians and the media who suck this stuff up Jim Wright, who did not so much resign from Congress as permit Congress to withdraw from him Sweden Pete Hamill, for finding a parallel between the Chicago '68 punks and the students in Tiananmen Square Anyone who refers to the handicapped as "differently abled": I suppose the dead are "differently vital" Richard Serra and his annoyingly intrusive "Tilted Arc" sculpture The ideologically-correct pronunciation masters: Nicaragua, in English, is "knicker-rog-wa...
...Every nomination has been included no matter how wacky, obscure, imaginary, or dead the choice...
...Congressman Leland was named by a number of readers but common decency demands that we forego his inclusion...
...Chances are good that your riff-raff can get good jobs working for the government...
...The entire cast, producers, writers, and, what the hell, even the cameramen of the Today Show: Let's bring back the concept of "guilt by association...
...Somebody suggested him, too, but I'm not having it...
...Carl Sagan, Whoopi Goldberg, Mitch Snyder, and C. Everett Koop (that buttinski) each collected a larger number of blackballs than did the ACLU...
...Now, whatever we (and God) may think about this method of birth control, let us not forget that at the core of conservatism is the sanctity of the individual and the privacy of the conscience...
...We'll have to make one more addition to the Enemies List here and now: James J. Griffitts Marion E. Mahony of Roanoke, Virginia, forwards a list "compiled with much phlegm, bile and—and barf...
...The Pentagon deployed one C-5 cargo plane, three C-141 cargo planes, four C-130 search and rescue planes, four UH-60 helicopters, a weather satellite, and a U-2 spy plane in the hunt for Leland...
...Henry Waxman (D-CA) Dave Wilson of Denver, Colorado, recommends for animadversion: Helen Caldicott Sam Donaldson John Chancellor...
...Thomas J. Bieter of Duluth, Minnesota, kicks off with: Minnesota State Rep Phyllis Kahn, who introduced a bill which would have granted the vote to l2-year-olds...
...Also surprisingly popular as objects of derision were Linda Ellerbee, Leonard Bernstein, and Ramsey Clark —not exactly America's major trio of power-brokering opinion-molders, if you ask me...
...There are only three exceptions...
...Joe Biden The Hon...
...We are aghast...
...James R. Stevenson, address unknown, reproves: George Steinbrenner: Anyone who can destroy baseball so thoroughly has got to be a Pinko...
...Elayne Boosler: The comedy club answer to Mme...
...Chuck Robb of VA Ex-Sen...
...And James signs his letter with a rather strict "OFF THE PINKS...
...Most of our politicians are either lunatics or scoundrels...
...While I'm on the tactless tack of criticizing the paying customers, let me say 1989 you folks are a bit rough with black leaders...
...In the second place, he wrote a column a couple of months THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR OCTOBER 1989 ago where he wondered where all the bums, soaks, and rummies had gone and then realized they'd all become members of advocacy groups and were demonstrating outside the White House...
...Why did almost a quarter of the TAS Enemies List respondents mention Metzenbaum by name...
...I don't agree with the Hon...
...D-OH) Actor John Cusack: He claims that because of his anti-Reagan statements, a government agent is probably monitoring his phone calls—talk about a lousy civil service job...
...Mario Cuomo of NY Sen...
...Stick around, Mac, we're going to need you during the Quayle Administration: ABA The Hon...
...But there are thousands like Howie...
...He actually suggested in a commentary that the U.S...
...I volunteer...
...Poulin gives some sage advice to fugitives from political ridicule: "All expatriots and expelled rabble who drift northward should dress warmly as winters here are coldish...
...John Poulin of Flin Ron, Manitoba, worries about the effect our housecleaning may have on his large, wishy-washy nation: "Usually I leave American issues to Americans, but the repercussions of Tail-Gunnerism redux are bound to spill over into this benighted land...
...Henry B. Gonzales (D TX)Rep...
...Then there's Chris Matthews...
...C teve J. Adamek of San Diego, 1.3 California, calls us timid...
...We need some means of persecuting neuterers, nutters, and screaming greenies, some way to abuse entitlement tramps, participants in Gorby orgies, men who think the government is their mother, and women who think government can do the mothering for them...
...3. Pat Schroeder...
...You read that?' about TAS...
...One Keith Roberts suggests that "Before we exorcise the left, let's straighten out our own ranks...
...She was serious...
...The outskirts of Nicaragua and the interior of China seem good places to test this policy...
...This pilot catalogue wasn't meant to be definitive, nonetheless readers greeted the omission of Teddy Kennedy and Jesse Jackson with howls of indignation...
...Defarge although Defarge was better at keeping people in stitches...
...I've made my own addenda when I thought the correspondent was seriously receiving radio messages from Neptune on his dentures...
...The following," writes Robert Y. Stair of Ocala, Florida, "are creatures who display no redeeming characteristics": Daniel Schorr Ramsey Clark Stanfield 714rner Ernest Hollings Tom Brokaw Redneck TV evangelists The Department of Education All the Pentagon desk jockeys who collected medals for the Grenada invasion but never left town Comes now Mary Frances Vollmer of Colorado Springs, Colorado, whose enemies include a number of my friends and acquaintances starting with Pat Schroeder, who, as I mentioned, will not be mentioned...
...of Escondido, California, decries: Paul Duke Frederick Allen Cokie Roberts Judy Woodruff Cher Sally Quinn William Hurt Maxine Waters MacNeil-Lehrer and company Rep...
...How can blacks climb the American socioeconomic ladder and get big jobs in industry and government if they don't know how to be as completely full of crap as the rest of us...
...W...
...Al, "but I have long considered it a left-leaning mag...
...What a comedown from being the hometown of the flying Wright brothers, Orville and Wilber...
...Times) Chris Wallace Rep...
...Howard Metzenbaum (D-OH...
...Michael Kinsley—a close friend of mine and a dear enemy of R. Emmett's—is liberalish, true, but the thing he likes best about liberalism is being 15 accused of it...
...Arguments against her bill, she charged, display an "adult supremacist attitude...
...In this matter the readers were no help at all...
...Large numbers of sensitive citizens here were traumatized by the fear-crazed thousands who tumbled northwards during the last purge and began drinkTHE AMERICAN SPECTATOR OCTOBER 1989 ing heavily thus making the roads hazardous...
...Mickey Leland (D TX)died in a plane crash in Ethiopia while this piece was being written...
...Well, Stalin and Molotov weren't on Sen...
...Other multiple citations: Al Sharp-ton, despised as a demagogue...
...One problem mooted in the original article was inventing a modern punishment to go with a modern McCarthyism...
...7, of July 1989, I 1 pleaded for the establishment of a New McCarthyism...
...She says what she thinks and adds a much-needed lightness of tone to the dreadful House of Representatives...
...A bit of invert-bashing was also detectable in some letters...
...Hey, dudes, lighten up...
...10 I OCTOBER A NEW McCARTHYISM: THE LIST CONTINUES Readers respond with their own suggestions for the Hall of Shame...
...2. Mike Royko...
...Here's this family of bigmouths who pride themselves on being rough and tough and suddenly they have a mossback in-law who can snap all their spines with the muscles in his smaller toes...
...Times) Let me beg to differ on Garrick Utley, Mary Frances...
...In the first place Mike is one of the last newspapermen on earth who still hangs out in bars instead of computer stores or leg-waxing salons...
...Carl Rowan, Jr...
...But list-keeper O'Rourke will be back next issue with dozens—scores, hundreds!—more names to complete the list...
...The events in Tiananmen Square have given liberals new impetus on this issue—just think how many poor People's Army soldiers might have been killed if China didn't have the benefits of gun control...
...Thank you for sharing, Keith, and keep your head down...
...Larry King: He hangs up on callers who disagree with him within eight seconds...
...Governor Baliles of VA Lt...
...Also, if you think there's no such thing as an influential gay conservative, you sure haven't been reading the Washington Times lately...
...Alfred M. Beyer of Garden City, New York, would like to add: National Geographic "This may raise some eyebrows," says Dr...
...He's obviously been keeping a file on these people...
...Alan Cranston (D-CA) Eleanor Holmes Norton Garrick Utley Jack Germond Haynes Johnson Michael Kinsley Chris Matthews Eleanor Clift Michael Jackson, the radio talk show host, not the singer Steve Roberts (NY...
...PeopleLast...
...Jeff Kock and Ken Pitts of Nashville, Tennessee, say: Mary McGrory and add, "We propose legislation mandating that all newspapers carrying both Doonesbury and Miss McGrory's column drop Doonesbury and put Mary's dribble on the comics page...
...Dayton, Ohio: Hometown of the acting Lowe brothers, Rob and Chad...
...In the third place, Mike's got a tongue like a lash and I don't want to be in its way...
...Molly Yard, despised period (pun semi-intended...
...Let's soap the windows of those who would beggar achievement and vandalize the lawn ornaments of magical thinkers and haters of beef, gin, and cigars...
...Lee A. Hamilton Gary Hartpence or Gephardt or whatever his name is Stephen Hess Joan Kroc Spuds MacKenzie MADD Ralph Neas The New York Times Timesmen and Timeswomen Linda Greenhouse, Lindsey Gruson, Stephen Kinzer, and Robin Toner Planned Parenthood Harvey Rosenfield Eleanor Smeal Mitch Snyder The Hon...
...I wonder how these people pronounce "France...
...We must say bon voyage to": Ex-gang members and ex-drug addicts who have become drug counselors and youth activists "This will open the job market for current addicts and gang members...
...James A. Baker III The Rev...
...Callers who agree with Larry King: He hangs up on them within twelve seconds...
...TAS READERS' ENEMIES LIST—THE OVERVIEW The July "New McCarthyism" article P J. O'Rourke is author, most recently, of Modern Manners (Atlantic Monthly Press...
...Otherwise, we'll give paranoia a bad name...
...David Rockefeller: Hey, this is an enemies list...
...Harry A. Blackmun The Miserable Jack Brooks The Hon...
...Don Edwards (D-CA) Rep...
...In fact they even send me addressed envelopes, and sometimes postage...
...Maybe it's because the NRA has been targeting the Buckeye Bolshie for his disarm-the-populace legislative proposals...
...Ted Turner was repeatedly condemned as a traitor, though not (let free enterprise reign) as a colorist...
...Howie is a terrific fool, of course, and a typical liberal of stinking wealth who's got his pile and would change the rules so nobody else can get another...
...S. Gilbert I n TAS vol...
...Usually when this kind of taxpayer money is spent on a Texas congressman, it's for purposes of prosecution...
...And apologetic statesmen of the compromising kind Such as—What-d'ye-call-him—Thing'emBob, and likewise Never Mind, And 'St— 'st— 'st— and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who (The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you...
...Thus we will be left with only one problem, the sagging domestic assault rifle industry...
...I must return to witch-hunting, commie-bashing, and improving my techniques for gambling at bowling": Michigan Governor James Blanchard Michigan Lt...
...I'll try to make sure you're well treated in detention...
...Marjorie G. James of Austin, Texas, tells us, "I get a lot of mail from celebrities, and they want to hear from me, too...
...As for Darryl Hannah, you may be right about her politics, but I'm sure somebody can talk some sense into her...
...Schroeder about much, but I like her...
...The nation requires a complete perestroika," he claims...
...22, No...
...This is the way poor people acquire job skills...
Vol. 22 • October 1989 • No. 10
